Chapter 7 #2
I threw on an air of haughtiness as I pulled the cart back, digging the handle into my belly in an attempt to get it away from him.
“Not that I have to defend my food preferences to you, but I had a tough day,” I said defensively.
“And I was planning on getting a salad to balance everything out, anyway.”
“Makes perfect sense.” He grinned slyly, and I felt my mouth tremble as I fought back a smile of my own. “Everything okay?”
I managed to win the battle against my humor and asked, “Huh?”
“You said you had a tough day. Anything I can help with?”
The walls I’d erected around my heart gave a little tremble at the impact of his kindness slamming in to them like a wrecking ball. “Uh, no. But thank you.”
His head canted to the side as his expression grew tender, and damn it, I felt that look as well. “You sure? I’m happy to help.”
“I appreciate it. It’s just . . . one of the girls got caught shoplifting today. I had to make a trip to the police station.”
“Oh, damn.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a sigh. “But it comes with the job. As sad as it is, I’m used to stuff like this. These kids are dealing with a lot. They don’t know how to cope with everything they’re feeling, so they act out.”
“Christ, honey. I’m sorry.” His tone was ragged, and the pain etched into his face made my sinuses sting. “Is that what it was like for you?”
“I went the other way. I clung to people in the beginning. But once I realized I was going to be sent away no matter how hard I tried to be good, I just . . . closed myself off. It was easier not to have any connections at all.” Until you.
Those two words were left unsaid, but I could feel them like an electric pulse in the air between us, and I knew he did as well when he noticeably flinched.
“Tessa—”
Shaking off the melancholy, I pasted a brittle smile to my face. “Well, I should probably get going. I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast. If I stand here much longer, I’ll end up ripping into one of my candy bags.”
“Let me take you to dinner.”
The words spilled from his lips so fast and so passionately, I was more than a little taken aback. “I—What?”
“Let me take you to dinner,” he repeated.
“I don’t know if you’ve tried it yet, but there’s this great little Mexican place just outside of town.
Or if you’re in the mood for something else, there are a lot of other options.
There’s a steakhouse two towns over. Hand to God, you’ll never have a better steak in your life. ”
“Bryce, I . . . that’s probably not a good—”
“I’m not tryin’ anything here. No ulterior motives, just dinner. We live in the same town. We can’t avoid each other forever. I don’t want to avoid you, beauty. Don’t you think it would be best if we could at least learn to get along?”
“Don’t fall for it! It’s a trap!” my brain screamed.
“Throw yourself at him and climb him like a mountain. Right. Now!” my body shouted.
I tried to hear what my heart was saying, but it was too preoccupied to chime in, busy holding up those quaking walls as they took one blow after another.
The truth was, trying to avoid him, trying to not think about him, was absolutely exhausting.
And the harder I tried the more he consumed my thoughts.
I reached up and dragged a hand through my hair while I blew out a resigned breath.
“You’re right,” I admitted, and just those two words felt like a boulder lifting off my shoulders. “We do need to try and get along.”
His whole demeanor shifted, his shoulders lost their rigidness, and his face seemed to brighten. “I’m glad to hear you say that, beauty.”
“But I can’t have dinner with you.” The tension that had melted out of him came right back, and his whole frame locked tight. “Not . . . not yet, okay? I need to take baby steps here.”
Any sign of his early joy was gone. He’d locked all of his emotions away, leaving his face utterly expressionless. “I understand.”
“I don’t know. Maybe . . . maybe one day we can sit down and have a meal together. But I need time to get there, okay?”
“Yeah, I get it.” His tone was as flat as a soda that had been opened and left to sit for days. Something deep inside me screamed to make it better, to bring the light back to his eyes, but I had to look out for myself.
“We’ve both changed, Bryce. I’m not the same girl I was when we first met, and I’m sure you’re not the same man.
What we had before . . . that’s gone. We need to find a way to move on from here.
From this point in time.” He stayed silent for so long, I fought the need to squirm. “Tell me you understand.”
His face wreathed with a sadness that tore me apart inside. “I understand, honey. I’m just not sure I can do that.”
“Why not? You can’t know that for sure. You haven’t even tried.” My tone was pleading, almost . . . desperate? Wait . . . that couldn’t be right.
“I don’t have to try. I already know I can’t ’cause I’m still in love with you.”
“Bryce,” I said in an agonized whisper. “Don’t.”
“You’re right about me, beauty. I’m not the man I was when we first met. The man I am now would never do somethin’ as stupid as walkin’ away from you.”
“Stop,” I rasped, feeling like my throat was being rubbed with steel wool.
“Okay. I’ll stop.” He moved around my cart, reaching up to brush a lock of hair behind my ear. “For now.”
Then he walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the grocery store, feeling like my heart had been ripped out.