Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
TESSA
The door clicked closed behind Bryce. I sat and stared at it for several seconds, my face twisted in a frown.
Something wasn’t right. He’d gone from warm and sweet to hard and cold in the blink of an eye. The chill coming off him was so strong I got goosebumps.
He’d been just fine, even laughing as he went through my satchel, then . . . my satchel.
“Oh shit.” Jumping from the bed, I hightailed it to the bar and grabbed the bag, yanking it open. “Shit!” The sudden and abrupt change in his mood now made perfect sense.
I shuffled back until my heels bumped the leg of one of the barstools, then I plopped down, the boulder in my stomach making it impossible to stand.
I’d had the divorce papers drawn up weeks ago, after my very first run-in with Bryce, and until earlier that week they’d been on my bedside table, collecting dust.
After my lunch at the diner with the girls, when I’d finally made the decision to let go of the past and move forward, I’d put the papers in my bag, telling myself it was time to give them to Bryce. But I couldn’t do it. Hell, I hadn’t even signed the damn things.
Each day I’d spend an hour psyching myself up to do just that, and each day the documents got shoved back into my bag, unsigned.
It just felt . . . wrong.
Every time I held my pen over that stupid little line my hand began to shake and my throat started to close up. My body actually seemed to be rebelling. And whenever I thought about actually handing the documents over to Bryce, I had to fight back a wave of nausea.
I’d been wrong. That wasn’t cold I’d seen in his eyes when he left a couple minutes earlier. It had been pain he was masking with a hard, impenetrable shield.
Guilt clung to me, holding onto my shoulders and weighing me down as I slowly padded to the bathroom.
I’d promised Bryce I’d stay in bed, and I had every intention of doing just that. But first, I needed a shower something fierce.
My fever might have broken, but the cold was hanging on. The desire to wash away the sick was only slightly less than my need to scrub away my newfound shame.
I stood beneath the warm water until my fatigued limbs couldn’t hold me up any longer.
By the time I toweled off, ran a comb through my wet hair, and slipped into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank, not only wasn’t I feeling any better, I actually felt worse.
And it wasn’t only because of the stupid cold that wouldn’t go away.
Crawling back into bed, I curled up into a ball, watching the door as my heart throbbed in my chest. I needed to talk to Bryce. I needed to do something to bring the light back into those wintery green eyes, because I couldn’t stand thinking of him in pain.
And as I played over what I could say to make things better, exhaustion snuck in, weighing down my eyelids until I couldn’t keep them open any longer.
“Wake up, baby. You need to eat somethin’.”
The firm pressure on my hip and the tantalizing smell of musk and citrus penetrated my sleep-addled brain and pulled me into consciousness. I let out a big yawn and stretched my arms over my head as I rolled to my back.
When I opened my eyes, Bryce’s face was only inches away, and my heart instantly flipped at the sight of him.
“You’re back,” I whispered, those two words chock-full of emotion. Before I’d fallen asleep I’d feared he wouldn’t return after finding those divorce papers, so the relief that washed over me just then was almost overwhelming.
“I am.” He tugged at strands of my damp hair, letting them sift through his fingers.
“Someone broke their promise,” he said, that teasing light back in his eyes, making my belly swoop and flip.
God, he really was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.
And when he was close like this, that beauty was nearly too much to bear. Like staring into the sun.
“Just for a few minutes. I had to have a shower.” My lips puckered up in disgust. “I was seriously gross.”
He chuckled and gave the lock of hair in his fingers a playful tug, and that knot of tension in the pit of my stomach began to unfurl. “Guess I can let that one slide. You were gettin’ a little ripe.”
“Jerk,” I said as I swatted at him. He caught my wrist easily and used his hold to pull me to sitting.
“You wanna eat in bed and risk crumbs or move to the table?”
I arched a brow mockingly. “Oh, so you’ll let me get out of bed to eat? How kind of you.”
“I’m thoughtful like that.” He winked, a cavalier, charming smirk on his face. “So what’s it gonna be?”
“Table, definitely.”
Linking his fingers through mine, he pulled me from the bed and guided me to the round four-seater table tucked into the bay window.
He passed me a coffee as I sat, then flipped open the top of a bakery box and began unearthing a bunch of different pastries.
“I got everything you wrote down, plus a few extras. They had something called a cronut that I thought you might like, so I got a couple of those as well.”
My eyes went wide as he sat the little slice of heaven on a napkin and scooted it to me.
A deep-fried croissant shaped like a donut and covered in cinnamon and sugar.
Pure genius. I quickly snatched it up and bit off a huge chunk, moaning unapologetically at the deliciousness.
“Oh my God,” I groaned through a full mouth.
“This is the best thing ever.” I barely gave myself time to swallow my first bite before going in for another.
Bryce sat across from me, flashing those pearly whites in the most seductive smile. “Careful, Tessa. You don’t slow down, you’re gonna choke yourself.”
“Then I’ll die happy,” I replied, stuffing the last bite into my mouth. “Death by cronut. I’m not sure there’s a better way to go.”
His chest rose on a deep inhale, and the blacks of his pupils began to swallow up that stunning green.
He looked like a man starved . . . ravenous.
I wasn’t sure what brought on the expression.
Then he spoke, that husky southern drawl more pronounced.
“I don’t know about that. I always thought death by orgasm was the best way. ”
I began to squirm in my chair as my insides heated.
Unable to meet his penetrating gaze, I lifted my coffee to my lips and took a drink, needing to soothe my parched throat.
Looking down at the pastries lined up on the table, I reached for the apple fritter and pulled a piece off, popping it into my mouth and chewing slowly as I struggled to think of something to say.
I finally landed on, “Thank you for going out to get this. Actually, thank you for everything you’ve done since yesterday. You’ve been really great, Bryce.”
“No need to thank me. It’s what I’m supposed to do.” My head tilted up, and at my questioning glance, he explained, “It’s my place as your husband to take care of you. Just doin’ my job, beauty.”
The sugary sweet bite I’d taken lodged in my throat, causing me to choke. I coughed violently to dislodge it in order to breathe, sputtering like crazy before gulping down more coffee. When I finally managed to meet his eyes, he had a cocky smirk pinned in place. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah,” I croaked. “I’m fine.”
A single midnight brow winged up on his forehead. “You sure? I can give you mouth to mouth if you think it’s necessary.”
“I’m good,” I spouted, my cheeks feeling like they’d caught fire. “Um . . . Look, Bryce, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
He leaned back in his chair, casually kicking his legs out and crossing them at the ankles as he took a bite of the muffin in his hand. “You mean the divorce papers I saw in your bag?”
My heart sank. “I’m so sorry,” I said quickly. “I never meant for you to see them like that. Honestly, I forgot they were even in there. I would never do something like that to you.”
He popped another chunk of the muffin into his mouth, his square jaw working as he chewed, his expression completely relaxed. “It’s okay, Tessa.”
My head canted to the side in confusion. I couldn’t get a read on him. He’d seemed pissed when he left, but now he was totally cool. “Really? Because you looked upset earlier.”
“I was, at first. But I’m good now.”
“You are?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about his easy attitude. I knew I should have been thinking it was a good thing, that him being okay with the divorce was a blessing, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling weighing heavily on my chest.
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I had some time to think about things while I was out, so it’s all good now.”
“Oh . . . okay.” Why the hell did it feel like my heart was breaking all over again? “Then, good. That’s good. This is really good.” Stop saying good, Tessa!
“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you were plannin’ on giving them to me anyway.”
It was like a record scratched inside my head. The apple fritter paused halfway to my mouth. “I’m sorry?”
Bryce slugged back his coffee, his demeanor never shifting. “Well, I saw the date on the paperwork. You’ve had those for weeks and you haven’t even signed them, so it’s obvious there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to end this. And that’s good, ’cause I don’t want to end this either.”
The indecision warring inside me moments ago was swallowed up by flames of indignation.
“We aren’t together, Bryce. We haven’t been for years, with or without those papers.
So there’s nothing to end. We’ve been over for a long time.
Those papers are simply the final nail in a coffin you built and slammed shut more than a decade ago. ”
Drawing his legs back, Bryce sat tall, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table.
The calm facade he’d been wearing was now replaced by something far more serious.
“I know I’m the one who broke us. I’ve hated myself for what I did to you for ten fuckin’ years, Tessa.
But not once, not for a single day, did I ever stop loving you. And I know you love me too.”
“I don’t,” I argued, my quick response giving me away. He could see the lie written all over my face.
“Then why have you been holdin’ on to those papers for so long, Tessa? And why haven’t you signed them?”
“I”—I felt like a deer caught in headlights—“just . . . haven’t gotten around to it.” Good job, Tessa. That lie wasn’t obvious at all. “I’ve been really busy.”
“I’ve been in your room and in your bed since lunch yesterday. You could’ve given them to me at any time.”
“I’ve been sick!” I cried pathetically. “I was sleeping most of the time, and like I told you, I forgot about them.” Because a part of me didn’t want to remember their existence.
“Fine. I’ll give you that one,” he said, pushing out of his seat and moving to my bag.
The food I’d just eaten turned into a brick in my stomach and my hands began to tremble as he came back to the table with the papers.
Slapping them down in front of me, he shoved a pen in my face and said, “Then sign them now.”
The shaking in my hands grew worse as I took the pen.
I froze with the tip hovering over that offending line.
Every muscle in my body locked up, my lungs hemorrhaged air like a cut artery lost blood.
The seconds ticked by, each one agonizingly slow.
I ticked off each one in my head, and still . . . I. Couldn’t. Move.
I counted to sixty twice before Bryce put me out of my misery and tore the pages away. I sat motionless as I heard him stuff them back into my bag, and a second later he pulled my chair around and crouched down in front of me.
“I love you. That’s never gonna change, beauty, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you don’t ever feel the need to sign those goddamn papers.”
My vision blurred with unshed tears. “H-how?”
“By proving to you that I’m worthy of a second chance.
I know I don’t deserve one, but I’ll do everything in my power to earn it.
I screwed up, Tessa. I ruined everything the first time, and I let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I’ll make it right.
I swear to you, I can do it right the second time. ”
My voice was a barely-there whisper as I asked, “What if you can’t?” The fear I felt was a very real thing. Tangible. Something my fingers could wrap around easily.
His features grew fierce and determined. “I will.”
“But what if—”
“I. Will,” he stressed. “The only other choice is lettin’ you go again.
And that’s not an option.” He took my hands in his and squeezed.
“So I’ll make it right, beauty. End of story.
” With that said, he stood tall, dragging me from my chair.
“Now back to bed. I’ll get your meds, then we’ll spend the rest of the day in front of the TV. How’s that sound?”
I didn’t know what to say. My brain had short-circuited, and I was sure it was going to take a long time to reboot, so instead of arguing, I moved to the bed, fell in, and pulled the covers up to my chin.
All the while wondering, what the hell just happened?