Chapter 19 #2
“You know what? I’ll just wait,” the woman in line said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Seems no one’s gonna be getting their coffee until you two hash this out.” She waved her hand in a circle for me to carry on.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I was in a bad mood already because of the call from Hardin. I know it’s not an excuse but—”
“You’re right, it isn’t,” she bit out, slapping her hands on the counter and leaning in. “It’s never okay to take your bad mood out on someone else. But what’s even less okay is to say hurtful, cruel things because you’re pissed and want to make the other person feel just as badly as you do.”
“Honey—”
“Candace, do you mind . . .?”
The other woman behind the counter that had been standing close by, watching the whole scene unfold, quickly stepped to the register. “Of course.”
Danika moved toward the swinging double doors that led back into the kitchen and pushed one open, looking back to see if I’d followed. Once I rounded the counter, she led me into a small, cluttered office just off the huge, industrial kitchen.
She slammed the door closed behind me and moved to the desk, turning around to prop her hips against the edge and crossing her arms over her chest. Her stance spoke volumes. It told me that whatever she had to say wouldn’t take long, and I wasn’t invited to get comfortable in the meantime.
I opened my mouth to speak, but she got there first. “No.” Her hand came up, palm out, to silence me. “You wanted to apologize and you did. I accept, so now let’s just forget any of it ever happened and go back to the way things were before I somehow became worthy of your attention.”
“Danika, sweetness, I know I fucked up—”
“It’s Dani,” she hissed. “Danika and sweetness meant something to you, and you took it away. You don’t get to start using them again because you want forgiveness. It doesn’t work that way.”
I knew I hurt her, but until that very moment, I hadn’t realized just how much. “I was an asshole. I should have let you explain.”
“Yes, you should have. But you didn’t. I thought you knew me better than that.
I never would have done anything to hurt you, but what’s more, I’d die before doing anything that could hurt your kids.
I made a promise to you, and I keep my promises.
But you got pissed and automatically decided to think the worst of me. ”
“It’s not you,” I said quickly, desperate to explain. “I need you to know that, honey. I spent nearly fifteen years in a terrible marriage. She lied and manipulated and made every day a living nightmare.”
“I’m not Whitney, Leo.”
“I know that, believe me. You’re so much fucking better than she could ever be.
But I don’t know what it’s like to be in a healthy, functioning relationship.
I need you to stick with me, Danika. Stick with me, keep showin’ me what it’s like to be in somethin’ this good and healthy, and I swear, I’ll do better. ”
“There’s no going back.”
“Sweet—” I stopped when she blasted me with an icy glare. “I know I hurt you, but I can make it right. What we had was good. No. It was fucking great. If you’ll let me, I can get us back to that.”
Her arms grew tighter around her, like she was trying to hold herself together as she said, “No it wasn’t. You said so yourself.”
“I was wrong.”
She shook her head, and I felt my gut clench.
“No, you weren’t. Since you didn’t let me get a word in that night, I’ll take the opportunity now to tell you that you did, in fact, hurt me.
But you couldn’t possibly know just how much, because, you see, I’ve been half in love with you since I was seven years old.
And I fell the rest of the way over the past month. ”
My breathing suddenly grew erratic. I didn’t know what to say to that, but it didn’t matter, because she wasn’t done.
“You never noticed me, not once, but you were all I could see. I was the fat, ugly loser in high school who was tormented on a daily basis. You were the golden boy everyone wanted to be friends with.”
“Who tormented you?” I asked through gritted teeth.
Her eyes filled with sadness as she whispered, “You know.” And just like that, I did.
I’d heard stories, but I’d never seen her bad behavior for myself.
And as much as I hated to admit it, I wasn’t sure it would have made a difference.
I was just a dumb kid who spent those years thinking with his dick.
All I cared about back then was the fact that Whitney was hot, and I was getting some on a regular basis.
“It doesn’t matter now,” she insisted.
“It matters to me,” I exclaimed. “You weren’t fat or ugly or a loser, Danika. You’re incredible and strong and so fucking sweet. I hate that anyone, myself included, ever made you feel anything less than that. If you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d know that.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it,” she clipped, the flush on her cheeks growing with anger.
“You were my dream, Leo, in the way that I used to hope and pray that one day, you’d open your eyes and actually see me.
All my life, I’ve been waiting for my forever.
For that man who would be it for me, and for years I was convinced that man was you.
I could never understand what you saw in her.
She’s a bully to her very core. I’ve never met anyone as mean and vicious as her.
I was convinced you could do so much better.
You needed someone as good as you. As kind and smart and funny. ”
“Baby,” I grunted, the emotions she was sparking inside me making my throat tight.
“I was wrong.” My stomach sank to the floor. “You two deserved each other. She was always cruel, but you’re worse, because you give people that kindness, that beauty that makes us love you, then you rip it away, and you make sure it fucking hurts when you do it.”
I took a step closer, but she shifted to the side, stepping back past the desk to get away from me. “Christ, baby. Please, just let me touch you.”
“You were my dream,” she repeated, plunging a knife into my gut and twisting it with each word. “I thought my dream had finally come true. You noticed me, and since that night, sitting at your dad’s kitchen table with your amazing kids, I felt like I’ve been walking on clouds.”
“Please, sweetness.”
“I hope you never have to feel the crushing disappointment of finding out someone you’ve had on a pedestal your entire life never deserved to be there.”
“Danika,” I breathed, feeling like all the air had escaped my lungs.
“You ended us, Leo. So let this be done now.”
“I can’t,” I said quietly. “You just told me you’ve been half in love with me your whole life. I can’t let this be done.”
Her eyes grew bright with unshed tears. “Leo, stop.”
I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stand being so close to her, seeing her in pain, and not touch her.
Closing the distance between us, I took her face in my hands and leaned down resting my forehead against hers.
“I let you down. I disappointed you, and I fucking hate that. But I swear to you, I am the man you’ve spent all these years dreaming of, and I’m gonna prove it. You’ll see.”
“I need you to go,” she whispered, her voice jagged with the tears she was fighting back. “Please just go.”
She needed time, and as much as it killed me, I was going to give it to her.
Lowering my arms to my sides, I moved to the door and grabbed the knob, but before I pulled it open, I turned and issued one last promise.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to deserve you, sweetness.
And I’ll break my back to make your dream come true. You have my word.”
With that said, I exited the office, pulling the door closed behind me.
The tightness that had developed in my chest when I talked to Danika was still there hours later when I pulled up in front of Whitney’s house to pick up my kids.
It was a damn good thing the woman wasn’t standing at the door waiting, because I needed every second to get my blood—currently at a rolling boil—down to a simmer.
It was no better by the time I lifted my fist and knocked on the door, but I’d at least managed to lock it down enough that I could function without losing it.
The door swung open seconds later, and my daughter came barreling out, slamming right into me. “Daddy!”
Just like that, the boil lessened as I reached down and put my hand on my girl’s head. “Baby girl. Missed you like crazy.”
She looked up at me, those blue eyes smiling. “Missed you too. Can we have pizza for dinner?”
Hardin appeared behind her before I could answer, his expression unreadable as he shouldered his backpack.
Whitney was right behind him. “We’ll discuss dinner in a bit,” I told Macie.
“Right now I need to talk to your mom.” I tossed my keys in Hardin’s direction, and he caught them midair.
“Start the truck up. I’ll be out in a minute. ”
He didn’t immediately move. “What’s goin’ on? Something wrong?”
“Not your concern, son,” I answered sternly, hitting my point home that I was done with him being in the know about things he was too young to understand. “I’ve got it handled, so do me a favor and start up the truck.”
He hesitated for a beat, but fortunately, he did as asked after placing a kiss on his mom’s cheek.
I waited until they’d both climbed in, shut the doors and started the engine before looking back at Whitney.
She immediately dove in. “Not that my feelings matter much to you, or ever have, but just to say, I’m not really in the mood to speak to you right now.”
God, how I’d ever been attracted to this woman was beyond me.
“That works for me, seein’ as it’s me who needs to talk and you who needs to listen.”
“Excuse me?”
“The shit you’re doin’ with Hardin, it stops now,” I hissed.
“Don’t know if you’ve got your head so far up your own goddamn ass you haven’t been able to notice or if it’s just that you don’t give a shit, but you tellin’ him things to do with us and our divorce that are none of his business is doin’ serious fuckin’ damage to my boy’s head. ”
Her face did that pinched thing again, and I had to clench my teeth together to keep from curling my lip in disgust. “Our boy is just fine. Only reason you think otherwise is because you’re the one he’s pissed at.”
“And he’s pissed at me because of you. Because you share shit you should never share.
He’s fifteen years old, Whit. It’s not his job to take care of you.
It’s not his job to try and put his family back together because you’re layin’ that on his shoulders.
You and I are so done that you couldn’t jumpstart our relationship with a defibrillator.
It’s dead. You need to accept that and leave Hardin out of it before you harm him in a way we won’t be able to fix. ”
“This is all because of her,” Whitney spit, having not listened to a goddamn word I just said. “That bitch from the coffee shop. Dani.” She said her name like it tasted foul.
“This doesn’t have a fuckin’ thing to do with Danika. Our relationship was dead long before her, and it was all due to you. But now that we’re on the subject, from here on out, you and your bitch friends are gonna keep her name out of your mouths.”
“Or what?” she hissed viciously.
“Or I swear to Christ, Whitney, you won’t have a chance in hell of bracing for the kind of shit that’s gonna rain down on you.”
She rocked back, her eyes going wide, not in fear, but in offense. “You’re threatening me now?”
“I don’t need to threaten you, because it won’t be me doin’ it.
What you’ve failed to realize is other than your posse, you have absolutely no one at your back.
And again, that’s no one’s fault but your own.
She has an entire town. I’m not tellin’ you to stand down because I’m worried anyone would believe the poison that comes out of your mouth.
They already know you’re full of shit. I’m doin’ it because you’ve gone out of your way to make her life a misery for long enough. ”
“Did you forget? We aren’t married anymore, so I don’t have to listen to a damn thing you say.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Then it’s your funeral.
” I leaned in and lowered my voice menacingly as I finished with, “But I will tell you this. You don’t stop fillin’ my boy’s head with your garbage, I’ll see to it you lose him and Macie both.
If it takes every penny I have, if I have to bleed myself dry, I’ll get them away from your poison.
Now, you wanna take that as a threat, by all means, go ahead.
But it would be a mistake to test me on this.
I’ve put up with this bullshit for a year, and as of this moment, it’s finished.
” I ended on a snarl that made all the color leech from her face.
With that done, I turned on the heel of my boot and moved to my truck, then I climbed in, threw it in reverse, and backed out of the drive without once looking back in her direction.
“All right, guys. Let’s go get pizza.”