Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
MICAH
Between the phone call from Charlie, threatening everything from killing Dalton in his sleep to taking matters with Cormack into her own hands, and having Hayden change into a completely different person, I felt like my head was going to explode.
I knew something had been off even before she started in with all the questions, but by the time I managed to talk Charlie down and get back to the table it had gotten so much worse.
She tried playing it off, claiming she’d come down with a bad headache and wasn’t feeling like herself, but I knew that wasn’t it.
The tense, stilted conversation we had at dinner had turned to complete silence on the drive back, and my muscles were locked so tight from the anxiety gripping my chest, it was a wonder I didn’t splinter apart.
I turned the truck into my driveway and killed the engine, trying to think of what to say.
She refused to make eye contact as she rounded the hood and started toward her house, her voice small as she said, “I think it’s probably best if you stay at your place tonight. I’m really not feeling well. I need to sleep.”
She didn’t need sleep, she needed to avoid me, and I’d be damned if I let that happen.
“Hayden.” I reached out and grabbed her arm as she attempted to pass by, turning her to face me and pulling her close. I gently pressed my fingers beneath her chin, tilting her head back so I could meet those gorgeous blue eyes. “I know something’s off. Talk to me. We can figure this out.”
She looked so sad, and seeing that felt like someone filled my chest with gasoline and threw in a lit match. “That’s funny,” she started on a whisper. “Now you want me to talk to you when I’ve been trying for weeks to get you to talk to me.”
“Baby.”
Then she asked a question that turned my blood to ice. “Who’s Charlie?”
Hayden
His fingers clenched, grasping my arm tighter. It almost felt like he was worried I was about to slip away, and he couldn’t let that happen.
“What?”
“Who’s Charlie?” I repeated louder.
“Where did you hear that name?”
“I got tired of sitting at that table all by myself, and after about ten minutes, I started to get pissed. I went to find you and heard you talking on the phone.”
His expression turned to stone at my answer. “You were eavesdropping on my phone call?”
I shook my head, feeling my lungs grow tighter as I got more agitated.
“No. I went to confront my boyfriend about abandoning me and just so happened to hear him telling another woman if he had his way, this whole thing would be over and that he’s trying his best and to please just bear with him for a little while longer. ”
The hardness melted from his features almost as fast as it had appeared, twisting into something that looked an awful lot like panic. “Hayden, what you heard . . . it’s not what you think, I swear. I know it sounded bad, but I’d never do that to you. You have to believe that.”
God, I wanted to. So damn bad I ached. “Then tell me who Charlie is. Is she the reason you came into my bed the other night smelling like perfume?”
He clenched his teeth so hard the muscle in his jaw began to tick. “It wasn’t like that. I just gave her a hug, that’s all. I promise, Red.”
“If you want me to believe you, tell me who she is, because right now, things are looking all kinds of bad.”
“I can’t tell you who she is. All I can tell you right now is that there’s nothing romantic between us. You have my word. She’s like a sister to me.”
That wasn’t good enough. I believed he wasn’t cheating. I felt the truth of that down to my bones, but the secrets were still weighing on me like cement blocks, making it hard to take a full breath. “Does she have something to do with this case you’re working on that you won’t tell me about?”
Please tell me. Please tell me.
Releasing me from his grip, he took a step away, his arms hanging down at his sides, his fists clenching so tight his knuckles bleached of color.
Please tell me. Please tell me.
“Hayden, I can’t talk to you about that. Please trust that I know what’s best when it comes to this.” he croaked, his voice sounding as agonized as I felt. “I’m just trying to protect you, baby.”
“Micah, I don’t need you to protect me,” I insisted, my tone pleading as I moved closer to him and placed my hands on his chest. “I need you to tell me what’s happening.
I need you to not keep secrets from me. I need you to let me all the way in because this half in-half out you’re holding me at sucks.
I’m so sick of being kept in the dark. Please just give me something. ”
“I can’t,” he rasped. “I’ll tell you everything once I know it’s safe, I swear, Hayden. I just can’t tell you now.”
“Why?” I asked in a pained whisper. “Why can’t you tell me anything? I know Dani knows something at least. Why can she know but I can’t?”
“I’m just trying to protect you.”
“That’s not an answer!” I cried in frustration. “That’s an avoidance tactic. Stop dancing around my question and answer me. Why can Dani know what’s going on, but I can’t?”
“Because she’s engaged to Leo!” he barked, throwing his hands up and raking his fingers through his hair. “They’re getting married and we’re just—”
He stopped himself from finishing that sentence, his eyes going wide like he only just realized how bad what he’d said sounded. But it was too late. I didn’t need him to finish his sentence in order to feel gutted by it.
“And we’re just fucking,” I finished for him, my words coming out hollow.
“That came out wrong,” he grated. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I’m not really sure how many other ways there are to take that,” I said snidely. “I mean, it’s pretty clear. Leo and Dani are getting married, so he trusts her with the big, important things like that. She’s in the inner circle and I’m merely the woman you’re currently banging.”
“That’s not the fuckin’ case, and you know it,” he growled.
“Do I?” I let out an incredulous laugh. “So then you’ve paid up on that bet you made with Trick and Hayes, then? The one where they said you’d eventually meet a woman who’d mean something to you?”
His torso rocked back in shock. “What—How did you know about that?”
God, this hurt. I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but this hurt even worse than when I caught Alex and Krista in that bistro together.
“You’ve said it yourself, Micah, it’s a small town.
So, if we aren’t just fucking, you paid up, right?
” His hesitation was answer enough. “I see,” I whispered, nodding in sadness.
I twisted, prepared to walk away when he cut into my path, taking me by my arms.
“We’re more than that, and you know it, Hayden. You feel it. I haven’t paid up on the bet because it’s more than just meeting a woman I care about. They were talkin’ marriage—”
He was just making this worse. I pulled from his hold and moved three steps back. “Oh, okay. I think I’m following. So, you do care about me, but you don’t see a future with me.”
He took another step toward me but stopped when I moved back. “It’s not like that! I’ve never felt like this with any woman I’ve been with. I’m out of my element here, Hayden. I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need you to keep me safe!” I shouted, throwing my arms wide.
“I don’t need a protector, Micah. I need a partner.
God, this sucks,” I lamented on a hollow laugh, “because while you’ve been keeping your secrets, holding yourself halfway out of this relationship this whole time, I’ve been falling in love with you. ”
His eyes went wide, flashing with something I was too lost in pain to try and identify. “Hayden—” he choked out, but I wasn’t finished.
“You don’t trust me.”
“That isn’t—” I held my hand up, warding him off when he started for me again.
“I’m such a fucking idiot. I fell for you; meanwhile, you don’t trust me enough to give me anything.”
“That’s bullshit,” he argued angrily. “I’ve given you more than any woman has ever gotten from me.”
“Then I guess that makes me selfish, because I want more. I want it all.”
After laying it all out like that, I stood there silently, my heart in my throat as I waited to see what he’d say. Like an idiot, I waited and I hoped.
And he gave me nothing.
“I think it’s best if we call it a night right here,” I told him, feeling the cracks start to form in my heart and spiderweb wider and wider.
“No,” he declared vehemently. “We aren’t doin’ that. We can work through this. But you can’t shut me out. You have to talk to me.”
A humorless scoff bubbled up my throat. “You see the irony in what you just said, right?”
“Red, don’t—”
“Micah, I need to think, okay? I need some time to myself to figure out what I want, and I need you to give me that.”
His nostrils flared, and for a second I thought he resembled a pissed-off bull about to charge.
“This isn’t over,” he finally clipped seconds later. “You need some space, I’ll give it to you, but this . . . us, it isn’t over. You can’t tell me you’re in love with me then end it. I’ll give you some time, but we will talk this out.”
I didn’t bother saying anything to that, mainly because I didn’t have a clue what to say. So as much as it killed me, I turned on my heel and started toward the property line that separated his house from mine. In the time I’d been there, that expanse had never felt so wide.
And as I walked away, I made sure not to look back, knowing if I did, I’d cave.