Chapter 36 #2
“I can give it back,” Jack says, watching me closely. “If you think they’re trying to buy their way back into your life and it’s manipulation, I’ll give it back.”
“Don’t give it back.” I scrub a hand over my face.
They bought this building and are making it better—not just for me—but for everyone who lives here. And they helped Jack in a way I wish I could have, but couldn’t.
“They did it for me,” I say quietly, not sure what to think or even do.
“What do you think about that?”
“I don’t know. They seem like they’re sorry and want to make things right. But…”
“But?” he prompts.
“They hurt me so badly. Too badly for me to jump into a relationship with them without thinking really hard about whether it’s the right thing to do.”
“Well, I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“Thanks, Jack.”
We say our goodbyes, and I send Jack away with a bag of groceries I won’t eat.
I spend the rest of the evening on my new couch, watching mindless trashy shows on the new TV that replaced the old one, pondering what to do about my scent matches.
Can I forgive?
“You’re quiet,” Archer says the next morning after we’ve pushed our way off the packed bus near the hotel.
I hate the bus, but I take it to work to get paid. Archer continues to put himself through this for me, and it’s hard not to feel a little bad for him. I at least get paid for my work. His only reward is going through the same experience on the way back to the apartment.
When my tote bag slides down my arm, I pull it back up, the bracelet on my wrist jingling. I haven’t taken it off since Archer put it on me, not even when I shower.
“Jack told me you threatened him in his shop,” I say, and wait for him to lie or deny it.
With a wince, he scrubs a hand over his head. “Not my proudest moment, but yes, I did.”
We stroll toward the hotel. “And he told me that you apologized and offered him a job.”
“It was the least I could have done for threatening to kill the guy for wanting to be your friend.”
I stop and look at him. “And if he’d wanted to sleep with me? If he had been my new boyfriend?”
“I’m not a good person, Juniper.”
A gust of wind tugs a strand of hair loose from my low bun, my usual work hairstyle so I don’t have to deal with my hair in my face all day.
Archer gently tucks it behind my ear. I don’t lean into his touch, but I don’t pull away either. Our relationship is changing in ways I didn’t think it would.
“But?”
“I’m not sure what I would have done if he’d been sleeping with you.
Probably punched him in the face. Not killed him.
He didn’t deserve that. What I’m trying to say is that I do things that are not right.
I don’t always think before I lash out at the people I care about.
I hurt you. But I am trying to be better. ”
I think it’s one of the most honest things anyone has ever said to me. The old Juniper Harrington wanted true love and to be swept off her feet. She wanted roses and dancing in the rain every single day. She wanted a fairytale that doesn’t exist.
I still want some of those things, but I’m learning to appreciate tough conversations, as long as they’re honest and real, more.
“Making amends is important,” I tell him softly.
“It is,” he responds as quietly, hope and need reflected in his gaze. “Is it enough to earn a second chance?”
“I have to go to work now.” Still thinking, I walk toward the hotel, but feet from the entrance, I stop and turn.
Archer hasn’t moved. He stands with his hands in his pockets, and his expression reveals everything. Hope and fear and something softer. Something I think I feel too.
“Bad Chinese food and a shitty movie,” I tell him.
He blinks. “I’m confused.”
I clear my throat, fingers tightening around the strap of my tote as I desperately hope I’m doing the right thing. I’m letting my heart lead the way, and my soul, the thing I thought had led me down the wrong path before, is also telling me that my future is with Callum, Torin, and Archer.
“It’s a new memory I want to have with you, Callum, and Torin. Tonight.”
Confusion gives way to hope. “Yeah?”
I nod. “At your apartment, since you have a bigger couch. I’ll think about the movie at work. Maybe you could as well. And maybe we could talk about other things after the movie.”
“Like the future?”
I nod with a smile. “Like the future.”
He grins at me, so bright and wide and happy that my heart hurts. “Okay. I’ll see you later, Juniper.”
“June,” I quietly correct him. “It’s June.”
We smile at each other, probably like complete idiots, and when a car blares its horn, I remember the time and sprint for the entrance. “I have to go. I’m late.”
“I’ll meet you here,” he calls after me.
“Okay.”
Inside, I quickly put away my bag in the staff room and hurry to clock in.
Cleaning the rooms is usually so mindless that my mind wanders to so many things, mostly what I’ll eat for dinner later that night.
But today, I think about the movie we’ll watch, the Chinese food we’ll eat, and whether Torin will be there for it. He apologized before, but didn’t believe I would ever forgive him.
Weeks ago, I’d have said that I had no forgiveness left in my heart for my scent matches. But things are different. They are different. And in ways I never expected.
I thought they would invade my life and not give me the space or time to think about whether I could ever see a future with them. They’re there when I need them to be, but they are not invasive.
The door beeps while I'm cleaning the bathtub.
“I’m just finishing up,” I call out, hurrying. “I won’t be long until—”
Thud.
I cry out as pain explodes at the back of my head. My world spins, and my world goes black.