Chapter Nineteen
Roxanne had been standing at her window watching the road for the last ten minutes.
With him coming from Ethan’s office, he should’ve arrived already.
She waited a few more minutes until she saw his truck pull down the road, then ducked behind her curtain.
She leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath.
Maybe it was guilt about what she’d done, but when she got the text from Jonah asking if she was home, she almost canceled their plans. What if he asked where they’d gone? She didn’t want to lie, but she couldn’t tell him the truth either. She pushed off the wall, pacing around her living room.
Her head jerked up, and she froze when she heard the knock on her door. Roxanne wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and made her way to the door, opening it.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Jonah gave a small smile.
There was an awkwardness between them, which she chalked up to her own guilt. Pull yourself together. She stepped back, widening the door and waving him inside.
“Come in.”
Jonah walked past her, peering around her apartment. Except for her bedroom and bathroom, he’d be able to see her entire living space from the entry.
“I wasn’t lying when I said it was a small space.”
His lips twitched as he glanced into the galley kitchen. “It’s nice.”
A nervous energy bubbled in her stomach, and she rushed toward the fridge. “Do you want something to drink? I’ve got beer, orange juice, protein shakes, and water.”
When he didn’t answer, she glanced over her shoulder. Jonah hadn’t moved from the entry, and he stared at her intensely.
“I saw Emory tonight.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Ethan asked if I could meet him at his place rather than the office. I was there when she got home.”
She stilled and sucked in a breath.
Jonah narrowed his gaze. “She didn’t seem happy with your restaurant choice.”
Oh shit! Roxanne hadn’t considered the possibility of Emory saying anything. It wasn’t as if she’d sworn her to secrecy. That would’ve raised suspicions.
There was no getting out of this without one hundred percent honesty.
She walked slowly forward. “Let me explain.”
“What do you want to explain? Why you went to that bar? Or maybe why you went behind my back to your brothers when I specifically told you not to.”
Her face paled. “They told you?”
His jaw squared. “Yeah.”
Roxanne licked her lips, trying to batten down the ache from their betrayal.
She could understand her brothers not wanting to get involved.
They had their reasons. But why throw her under the bus when they specifically knew Jonah wasn’t wise to her plan?
There was no time to dwell on that. Her focus was on Jonah.
“I was trying to help.”
His features tightened. “I don’t need your help. I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t want it. Thought I made myself clear. I told you to let it go.”
Roxanne held up her hands, trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m sorry. I just thought if there was a chance that my brothers could help that …”
“Do you hear yourself?” He scowled. “It doesn’t matter what you think. This is my life, and I don’t need help making decisions in the interest of my family. You’re not part of it and you don’t get a say in how I do things.”
Roxanne winced, taken aback. She could understand his anger. Everything he said was right. It wasn’t her business, and she had no right to go behind his back. But her intentions were good, and if she could just explain …
“I can’t do this.”
What?
Before she could say another word, Jonah turned and headed toward the door.
“Wait, Jonah.” She rushed to the door blocking his path. None of this made sense. Yes, she’d overstepped and crossed boundaries. But it shouldn’t have been a deal-breaker.
“You can’t just leave.”
“I can’t do this, Rox,” he whispered, his voice pained.
Was he breaking up with her? How had it come to this? They had something special. She’d never felt a stronger bond or connection with anyone. This went beyond casual. Roxanne was committed. She saw a future with him, and she thought he saw that too.
“I love you,” she whispered, grabbing his shirt in her fists.
“Fuck,” he muttered with a heavy breath. Jonah clasped his hands over her wrists. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? I’m being honest with you. Why can’t we talk about this?”
“I can’t, Roxanne.” He refused to look at her. “I have this life, and you don’t fit in it. There’s no place for you.”
It was like a punch to the gut, she never saw coming. She dropped her hands to her sides. Her eyes welled as a wrenching pain struck her heart. Her breath was labored, and she fell back against the door. And still, he wouldn’t look at her.
“I have to go.”
Everything in her heart, body, and soul was telling her to block his exit and force him to talk to her.
There was something beyond just them making him bail on their future.
She just didn’t know what it was. Talking would’ve helped.
Being open and letting down his guard may have gotten them somewhere.
Roxanne would’ve done anything it took. And there lies the problem.
I can’t be the only one fighting for us.
The realization hit just as hard as his words. Roxanne slowly stepped to the side and grabbed the handle, opening the door. If he wanted to leave, she wouldn’t stop him. For as much as she wanted to be with Jonah, she wouldn’t beg any man to love her. I know my worth.
She stared across the room, fighting her tears. Once he was gone, she’d fall apart. But not a second sooner.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and walked out the door.
Me too.
****
Jonah’s grip tightened around the phone at his ear as he stalked out of the workshop.
He’d been working extra hours for his client to make sure the project was complete on time.
Jonah had initially been hesitant to agree to the timeframe.
It was cutting it close. But it was a lot of money, and he’d been interested in working on the intricate piece.
“We agreed on a set timeframe, Joe.” Jonah dragged his hand over his head.
“I know, but the anniversary party had to be moved up by a week.”
A week. For his client, it wasn’t much time. For Jonah, it would be non-stop after hours in the shop to get it done. Fuck.
“I’ll pay an extra thousand.”
Jonah ground his teeth. While the money was an incentive, Joe wasn’t considering the time he’d have to sacrifice.
Not to mention delaying other jobs for the sake of his.
Rich fucking people. Jonah could’ve refused and stood by their original agreement.
However, he’d only taken a down payment, which didn’t cover the materials and time he’d put into the project.
If Joe backed out, it’d be detrimental to Jonah’s finances.
“I’ll get it done.”
“Thanks, Jonah.”
He hung up and stormed into the house. Jonah was pissed, which was commonplace over the last few days.
When he walked into the kitchen there were dishes piled in the sink, two pots on the stove and the garbage was overflowing in the corner of the room. This wasn’t something that hadn’t happened before. However, all he needed was one reason to lose his shit. And he’d just found it.
Cord was leaning against the counter and staring down at his phone.
“How many times do I have to tell you to clean up your shit?” He swung his arm out, pointing to the sink. “I don’t do enough around here? You expect me to work sixteen-hour days and then come home to clean up after your ass?”
Cord rolled his eyes, waving him off. “Relax, I was gonna do it when…”
“Don’t tell me to fucking relax. When you start contributing to the mortgage, the electricity, the gas, and the fucking water, then you can tell me to relax. But until then,” he balled his fists, “clean up your goddamn mess.”
“Oh, shit.” Holden stood in the doorway, darting his gaze between the brothers. “What’s going on?”
Jonah ignored his little brother and stalked to the fridge, ripping open the door and grabbing a beer.
He had every right to be upset. Cord was old enough to clean up after himself.
But Jonah recognized his anger was misplaced, taking a shot at the closest point of frustration.
It all stemmed from the past three days.
Seventy-two hours with zero contact. That’s what happens with breakups, asshole.
He took a long swig of beer and dragged his hand through his hair.
“So, uh, Jay?”
He glanced at Holden, who had a stack of photos in his hand.
“Yeah?”
“When is Rox coming over?”
Fuck!
“She’s not.” He snapped.
Holden raised his brows. “Not tonight?”
“Not ever. We’re not seeing each other anymore.”
Cord stepped forward, grasping his hands on the back of the chair. “What happened?”
I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.
Jonah narrowed his gaze. “None of your business.”
“Oh damn, man. That sucks.” Holden’s lips pouted in a severe frown. “Did she say why she was breaking up with you? Like what did you do?”
It was ironic that Holden’s mind would immediately go to Roxanne breaking up with him rather than vice versa. Jonah understood. If things had been different, he would’ve never let her go.
“I ended it.”
Holden widened his eyes. “Why?”
The question came out as an accusation.
“It wasn’t working out.”
Holden scoffed and glared. “Since when? Things were going great.”
The truth was the last thing Jonah needed to be reminded of. He stormed through the kitchen and out the door, ignoring his brother. He wouldn’t discuss his relationship with anyone.
Jonah did what had to be done. Some secrets were meant to remain buried.
This is one of them.