Chapter 41 #2
This is where it gets embarrassing – partly because of what actually happened and partly because of how na?ve I was.
Isaac was the first of three ‘playmates’ as Leanne called them who ‘educated’ me over the next two and a half years – up until the point when I was introduced to Garth.
Each of my ‘playmates’ had an objective for their time with me and, although I didn’t know it back then, the overall objective was to groom me to become the perfect wife for Garth.
I was given one rule – that it had to remain a secret.
They were also given one rule – no sex. That was a privilege to be reserved for my ‘doting’ husband.
I’ve spent years blaming myself for allowing this to happen but Jed has helped me see that this wasn’t my fault. I trusted Leanne and believed the many lies she fed me to normalise what was happening.
When I met Garth he was everything I’d ever dreamed of in my ideal partner – attentive, charming, caring.
Of course, it was all an act. Leanne had told him exactly what to say and do to get me to fall in love with him and it worked.
I fell deeply and would never have guessed that he didn’t feel the same.
Looking back now, there were red flags but I didn’t notice them because I wasn’t looking for them.
For my 22nd birthday – four months into our marriage – one of Garth’s gifts was a weekend at a luxury spa.
It sounded lovely until I discovered that Krystal would be my companion.
She was their friend, not mine, and I’d never gelled with her so I couldn’t understand why I was spending my birthday treat with her.
Garth was adamant that I’d travel with Krystal but I couldn’t face being trapped in a car with her too so I drove down early on my own.
Garth wasn’t happy about it and it struck me that it was the first decision I’d made for myself in a long time.
Somehow Leanne and Garth had taken control of every aspect of my life.
By Saturday night, I’d had enough of Krystal, feigned a headache, and left the spa intending to go home.
I hadn’t driven far when I realised how tired I was.
The Manor was nearby so I decided to ask the caretakers for the key and spend the night there.
Except when I drove past The Manor, I spotted cars all along the driveway.
Fearing a break-in or the caretakers taking advantage, I went to investigate but recognised Garth’s and Leanne’s cars outside.
You already know what The Manor was being used for because of the fire that exposed the dungeons.
Garth and Leanne had evidently wanted to get me out of the way that weekend so they could host one of their epic X-rated parties and Krystal’s role was to keep me occupied.
I didn’t stay long that night but I saw enough to give me an insight into an alternative lifestyle that I’d known nothing about.
I returned to the spa but couldn’t sleep.
I needed to see the dungeon for myself so I returned to The Manor the following morning and broke in.
I found the dungeon containing many rooms set up for a variety of preferences but, before that, I found a cinema room.
The shelves were full of X-rated DVDs and, among them, there were a dozen with my name on.
Not only had Leanne set up the sessions with my ‘playmates’ – she’d recorded them too and goodness knows who had been watching them.
I destroyed them all, although I doubt they were the only copies.
I texted Garth to say I was inside The Manor and he rushed over but there was nothing he could do to put a positive spin on what I’d found so he admitted that marrying me had been a cover-up to please his bosses who hadn’t responded well to the rumours of his alternative lifestyle.
He and Leanne had met through mutual friends and, when he’d explained his situation and what the perfect wife would look like for him – young, innocent and vulnerable – she said it sounded like her baby sister.
I was fifteen at the time and he liked the photos she showed him so Leanne arranged for him to observe me while we were out shopping.
The plan was to introduce us when I was eighteen but that, in the meantime, Leanne would prepare me for my wedding night as Garth would ‘enjoy’ me more if I had some idea of how to please him.
Why did she do it? Because – and this is a quote from Garth of Leanne’s exact words – she was sick of sharing her home and her parents with a string of pathetic snivelling orphans.
I’d taken photos of everything and told Garth my solicitor would be in touch.
He had no choice but to grant me a divorce.
I did consider going to the police – recording my time with my ‘playmates’ without my consent is a criminal offence and there’d be several other charges around me being a minor – but I couldn’t face reliving any part of it.
The scars ran so deeply that it took me fourteen years before I told anyone what had happened.
During those years, I put so much of my life on hold.
I’d already lost my family and, because I trusted nobody, I never dated and remained detached from friends and colleagues. The loneliness nearly killed me.
Over the past year I’ve worked so hard at getting my life back.
I’ve surrounded myself with people I love who care about me and would never hurt me.
Leanne is not one of those people. I know that people can change and Krystal is a great example of this but – with my apologies for being so blunt about it – I believe that Leanne is a disturbed individual incapable of ever putting anyone else ahead of herself.
She has proved that with me, she proved that with you and my hope is that she doesn’t prove it with her baby.
A couple more paragraphs covered the worries I’d shared with Jed about whether revealing the truth now seemed vindictive and how Jed had convinced me that wasn’t the case.
I emphasised how much they meant to me and that I didn’t want to lose them even if they maintained contact with Leanne because I did understand that a grandchild changed things.
My conclusion was to say that, even though their immediate reaction might be to rush round to see me, writing the email had been emotional and difficult and I still needed some space for now.
When I’d finished reading it, I took a deep breath and pressed send.
My heart pounded and I experienced a moment of panic but my eyes rested on a pile of Zoe’s books on the table and I thought about the conversations she’d be having with the police right now.
We’d both done the right thing. It was difficult and painful but it needed to be done so we could both move on with our lives.
I closed my laptop and wandered over to the window. Was telling my parents enough?
‘Should I follow Zoe’s example and go to the police too?’ I asked Hercules.
He twitched his nose and I crouched down to stroke his ears.
‘One step at a time, eh? We’ll see how Mum and Dad respond and take it from there.’
I straightened up and looked out of the window once more and, this time, a feeling of calm flowed through me.
All the people I cared about the most now knew my biggest secret and I felt so much lighter for it.
I just hoped it didn’t cause my foster parents too much pain but, if it did, that was on Leanne.
She’d caused all of this and I refused to shoulder any blame or guilt for anything she’d done to me or the fallout from it.