2. Roxy
Chapter 2
Roxy
I ’ve put it off for far too long now. I didn’t realize that I even missed a period until last week. For so long, I’ve put it off as stress. I mean, there’s been so much going on. Everything with the Outlaws and how they tried to destroy the Heartlands. The retaliation and revenge we took on them. It’s all added up and tensions were high for everyone, even me. So when I missed my period, I thought it was just that. Stress. The second month I missed it, I began to get nervous. Especially when I woke up this morning and my breasts were so sore I couldn’t even touch them, I knew something was up. I bought the test on the way home tonight. I’ve put it off for too long now and one way or another, I have to find out.
I read the instruction on the package and take the first one out. At the store, I couldn’t understand why they sell some of them in packs of three. But after the first one, I got it. I understood.
I set the third pregnancy stick next to the first two and blow out a long breath. Pregnant. All three have two solid blue lines. It can’t be a fluke. I’m pregnant.
I look at myself in the mirror waiting for it to sink in and be real. I’m ready and braced to feel freaked out and panic. I’ve never had anyone depend on me. It’s always just been me. Even growing up, I was on my own, moving from one foster home to another while each of the foster parents just collected their checks. I was never a part of any actual family and honestly, I didn’t know if I would ever want one of my own. I know what a fucked-up world this is and I’m scared to bring a baby into it. I’m ready for the grief, the confusion, the guilt. All of it.
Instead, I can’t deny it. I’m not upset. In fact, I’m feeling the exact opposite. It’s almost like there’s a peace that has surrounded me and has calmed my heart. I can’t remember the last time, or maybe ever, that I’ve felt so much joy. And the three sticks lined up in front of me confirm that I have permission to be as happy as I feel.
It’s really going to happen. I’m going to be a mom.
There’s no doubt who the dad is. Gage.
Just thinking about him causes my nipples to harden. I hadn’t been with another man before him since I was seventeen and lost my virginity to a boy that was in the same foster home as me. Yeah, the father is Gage and he doesn’t even know we had sex. What the hell am I gonna do now?
I lie back on my bed and almost immediately my mind drifts back to that night nine weeks ago.
“How many beers did you have?” I asked him as I got off my bike. I’d just given him a ride home, leaving his bike at the Heartlands Garage, next to the Ride or Die bar. It was a long night. The club was still recouping from all the fighting with the Outlaws and people were drinking and unwinding. When Gage came to me at the end of my shift and asked me for a ride home, I agreed. I knew he, more than anyone, needed to let loose after the last few days we’d had, and honestly, I was happy to do it.
Gage, of all the Heartlands brothers, is the one that always goes out of his way to treat me right. He’s looked out for me since the day I showed up to apply for the bartender job at the Ride or Die bar three years ago. He’s never asked me about my family or where I came from. He sort of just accepted me for who I am. He’s twenty-six years older than me and is old enough to be my father. But even though I shouldn’t, none of the thoughts I have of him are fatherly. No, any time I think about Gage, my whole body hums and a pressure starts to build low in my belly. I used to be able to ignore it, but not lately. Not now. No, now I can’t even look him in the face because I know he’ll see the attraction I feel for him there.
He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to look at him. He gave me a goofy smile. “Two.”
So he’d had two drinks. Everything about him was throwing me off. First of all, he’s not goofy. Second of all, I’ve known him for almost two years and he’s never ever shown me any kind of interest at all. If anything, he’s treated more like a kid sister than anything. So on the ride over here, when his hands circled my body and brushed along the underside of my breast, I knew I was going to ask him how many drinks he’d had. He was acting nothing like the Gage I know.
He grabbed on to my hand and pulled me toward his house. “C’mon, come inside with me.”
Without giving me a chance to deny him, he pulled me up the walkway and into his house. “But..” I started to tell him, but stopped when he closed his front door and leaned me back against it. My back was wedged into the doorknob, but I didn’t even care. He slid his leg between the two of mine and even though he’s so much taller than me, we somehow fit together perfectly.
I looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. “Gage? Are you sure you only had two drinks?”
He was staring at my lips and it caused a jolt to go through my body. I could feel the moisture pooling between my thighs, and I closed my legs, trapping his leg between mine. He moved closer, lifting his leg up higher, right against my core, and a moan escaped as my head fell back against the door. It was a reflex, and I ground my pussy into his leg seeking a release that I knew only he could give me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to get a handle of what was happening here, but I couldn’t think of anything except Gage being between my legs.
He wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck and tugged me toward him. “Uh, uh, I want you looking at me, baby girl.”
I opened my eyes and stared at him. His eyes were glassy and I knew that there was something going on with him. Never in the three years I’ve known Gage has he called me baby girl, and he’d definitely never touched me like he was doing now. “What are you doing?” I asked him softly.
One side of his lips tilted up in that smirk of his. “If you don’t know what I’m doing then I must not be doing it right.”
Shaking my head, I laughed. “I mean, I know what you’re doing, but why now?”
His hands slid down to my ass and pulled me up against him. I could feel the hard bulge between his legs against my belly and he groaned at the contact. I couldn’t stop the smile from forming on my face because it was nice to know that I had the same effect on him.
He bent down and got right in front of my face. I could feel his breath as he whispered, “Do you want to do this or do you want to talk about it?”
His hands squeezed on to my bigger than a handful ass cheeks and I grabbed on to his massive shoulders. “Do it,” I muttered right before his lips crashed into mine.
As soon as we made contact, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would never be the same after this. I’d wanted Gage for so long, there was no denying what he does to me just by looking at him. To have him in my arms and inside me was going to change me forever… I just knew it.
He was ravenous as his tongue plunged in and out of my mouth. It was like we’d been holding this in forever and had finally been given our chance. He held me against him and started walking down the hallway to his bedroom. I’d been here a few times. I’d brought him soup one time when he was sick and I came to take care of him once after the big fight with the Outlaws. He stumbled and we both almost fell, but he caught us at the last second. He laughed and I pulled away from him. “Gage, really, how many drinks did you have?”
He pulled my shirt up and off my body. He was staring at my chest in the black sports bra I had on. My breasts are big and I hate drawing attention to them. Working at the bar, I’ve gotten into a habit of wearing it. But now, I wished I had something else on. Something more flattering.
His hands reached out to cup me, pulling the elastic away from me and over my head. With my breasts free, he stared at them so long I felt a chill go down my body and my nipples pucker. He reached for me again, but I stopped him by grabbing on to his hands. “Tell me the truth. How many drinks have you had?”
“Have I ever lied to you?” he asked me, still staring at my breasts.
When I didn’t answer him, he looked up into my eyes. I shrugged my shoulders. “No. You’ve always been truthful.”
Nodding his head, he tugged off his shirt and then pulled me against him. We were bare, skin against skin, and I felt like I was burning up. “Two drinks, baby girl. That’s it. Now, stay here and let me hold you.”
We stood there for so long, I finally softened against him. My head rested on his chest and my breasts pressed tightly against his stomach. His hands were running up and down my back, each stroke pulling me closer to him. I knew that this could change everything. My only family is the Heartlands MC and I didn’t want to screw that up. But I knew I couldn’t walk away now. I wasn’t strong enough.
Determined, I reached between us and undid the button on his jeans. The only sound in the room was our breathing and the zipper being pulled down. I pulled out of his arms and pushed him back toward the bed. He landed with a thud and I made quick work of pulling his shoes off. When he started to undo his pants, I finished undressing myself, letting my clothes land wherever they fell.
After he undressed, he sat back down on the edge of the bed. His penis was thick and heavy, pointing straight at me. Already, there was cum leaking from his tip. I wanted to fall to my knees and taste him, but what was stopping me was the way he was staring at me. I swear he was looking at me like he’d never seen me before. But when he held his hands out to me, wanting me to come closer, I moved within his reach.
“I’ve got you now, baby girl.” He pulled me until I was straddling his lap and his cock was pressed against my ass. I wanted to ask him what was up with the nickname—he’d only ever called me Roxeanne or Roxy—but I didn’t have a chance to before he was gripping his cock in his hand and lining me up on it.
I could feel his tip right at my entrance and there was no stopping now. I impaled myself on him. When he was fully inside me, I muttered “fuck” as I bit into Gage’s shoulder. He was filling me up until I felt him deep in my womb. I tried to give myself time to adjust, but he was already moving, gripping my hips and moving me against him. With each thrust, I felt like he was going deeper, but I knew that wasn’t right. He’d already taken me as far as he could go.
His hands were roaming my body and his mouth was kissing and licking my neck. Every thrust brought me closer to the edge. When he pushed me backwards, I went so far that I thought I was going to fall, but I didn’t because he was holding on to my arms. He drilled into me. At that angle, he was hitting that rough little patch inside me that pushed me off the cliff, and my hips bucked wildly against his. He grunted “baby girl” over and over until the very end, and when we were both so far gone, he pulled me up against him, falling back on the bed, cradling my head on his chest. “I love you, Roxy.”
Speechless, I could still feel his cock as he pulled soft little tremors from my satiated body. When I finally had the nerve to lift my head, his eyes were closed. I lifted up and looked into his face and realized he was already asleep.
“Gage,” I whispered.
He didn’t move, and I tried again. “Gage.”
When he still didn’t move, I lifted off of him, standing over him, wondering what I should do. I walked to the bathroom and took care of business.
Washing my hands, I saw a bottle on the counter. Grabbing it up, I read the label.
It was a pain medication, and the warning label stated not to mix it with alcohol. Fuck.
I knew he had hurt his back after the fight with the Outlaws. I had come to nurse him after it. I even knew that he had been prescribed pain medicine. But Gage never takes anything, hell, I can’t even get him to take Tylenol. Remembering his glassy eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had taken one tonight. Fuck.
I ran back to the bedroom and Gage was snoring now. I grabbed up my pile of clothes and ran to the front of the house, pulling them on quickly before running out to my bike. The whole way home I was yelling at myself and my stupidity.
And little did I know that would be the night we conceived a baby. I rub my hand along my stomach. The future is so unsure, but there’s no doubt I’m going to love this baby. But now I just have to figure out how to tell the dad.