Chapter 21
Step one, graduate college. Step two, get a job.
Step three, get a house—like an actual house, not our apartment.
Which sucks, ’cause I really like our apartment—it has a lot of great memories, but it’s not a house.
My little sisters have been trying to coach me on how to be an adult, which is kind of depressing since none of them have even graduated college yet.
And Claire is still in high school. But, they’re smart and they don’t have the stupid alpha instincts driving them to look for a mate.
They’ve all got good heads on their shoulders and they told me that finding my people is important, but I also need to make sure that any girl I bring home is safe and comfortable and I can take care of her.
Tiffany is the next oldest to me, and she said that women want someone who can show commitment and security.
What’s more committed than a thirty-year mortgage?
My stomach rolls at the thought. Not the committing to a girl part, that would be a dream come true—but I’ve never even bought a car.
Oh shit, I think I’m gonna throw up.
It feels too easy, signing off on such a huge decision.
Something that’s going to affect the rest of my life.
I mean…what if something happens? What if we meet an omega who wants us to move away from here?
What if our pack breaks up, do we all still have to live together?
All of our names are on this paperwork, but what if they get tired of me…
or what if Al finds someone who makes him decide we aren’t worth it?
I’ve known Paul forever, we’re basically brothers, and I know he isn’t going to look for anyone, but Al still wants to find someone he can share his life with.
I trust him, but I just…I don’t want him to be unhappy for us.
He says he’s ok with this, buying a house together, but what if his aversion to having a nest is worse than I thought?
What if I drive him away by insisting on stuff like that?
I know I can be clueless about things, and what if he finally has enough one day and leaves us?
This isn’t the straw that maimed the camel, right?
He’s not gonna go away just because he didn’t want our house to have a nest, right? I shouldn’t have pushed.
A warm hand wraps around my wrist where it rests on the paperwork I’m supposed to be signing, and my eyes flick up to Paul.
His expression is pinched—this year has been so hard on him with work, and now our fighting.
He may not even like the house; it’s not like we asked.
I really am a terrible packmate. “You ok there, Little Buddy?” It’s been a running joke since we were teenagers; I’ve always been the biggest one in my class.
Even though Paul was years older than me and Josh, we were closer to the same size. Then I just kept growing.
There’s a quiet crack and the pen I’m holding snaps in half, oozing ink over my fingertips. I draw back, trying to keep from accidentally dripping on the contract I was signing. “Shit…er…shoot!”
I cast a quick glance at Alice, worried I’m going to offend her by cussing.
The poor lady has been helping us so much and has been so patient.
I really should get her a nice gift basket or something for putting up with all our shit…
and now I broke her pen. A big bouquet or a gift card for a massage over in Springfield is the least we can do after dragging her all over during the break.
It’s been stupid cold again, and Al and I haven’t exactly been easy to work with.
Her smile is tight as she reaches into her desk drawer and pulls out a box of tissues and another pen, passing them to me.
Her left eye starts twitching again, so I really need to do something to make up for all the trouble we’ve caused her.
I wonder what Paul thinks. My gaze moves back to him as I take in a deep breath.
Even over the ventilation and deodorizer in the room, his whisky and oak scent is a comfort.
He was the first alpha I really knew growing up, and he’s always been my safe spot.
Of course, Josh was there, but he wasn’t really an alpha yet.
“Yeah. Yes. Sorry! Wait, what was the question?” My eyes flick around the room, trying to figure out what I might have missed. I know somebody asked me something while I was in a doom spiral. That may not be the technical name, but it’s what they are.
“I asked if you were ok? You started shakin’ like a leaf and breathin’ funny.
I wanted to make sure you didn’t pass out or anything.
Did you remember to eat breakfast before we came out today?
” He doesn’t exactly treat me like the little kid I was when we first met, but sometimes I wonder if he realizes I’m an adult.
Then again, he does the same thing to Al, so I think it’s just a personality trait of his to take care of others.
That’s probably why he became a cop…well, and his parents were cops.
Despite all the stress from that, he and Josh are genuinely good people.
I wouldn’t have hung out with them if they weren’t, but I know that the whole situation with Pack Carpenter and Xan messed him up.
He feels responsible for that guy getting shot.
Not that the man didn’t deserve it, from what Kelly told me at work.
But it was Steve and Garret’s dad…I don’t know how they aren’t more upset.
If anything happened to either of my parents, I’d be heartbroken.
Then again, none of my family are complete pieces of shit, so that probably makes a difference.
Paul ruffles my hair and talks over my head.
“This happens sometimes, no worries. It’ll just take him a couple minutes to reboot.
How about Alistair and I get everything signed, and we can come back to Spence when he gets over the shock?
” He folds himself into the chair beside me and slides the paper out from under my shaking hands.
Paul is what you’d call rangy. Long limbed and gangly if you don’t know what you’re looking at.
The man has speed and stamina in spades, but he just isn’t bulky like a lot of guys I see at work.
Al sits primly in the chair on Paul’s other side. His eyes flicking around the room, not landing on anything for long—Alice, Paul, the paperwork, me, back to Alice. I cringe again at how pushy I was about the nest, but we need to have one, or at least the space for one. Just in case.
Al is technically our pack leader, just because his name goes on all the paperwork first, but the truth is that none of us really have a take-charge kind of attitude.
Paul’s the oldest and most naturally dominant, but he’s also super relaxed about most things.
Alistair is the least dominant out of all of us, but he has control issues like nobody’s business.
He won’t tell me what happened with his previous pack, but I think it has something to do with why he doesn’t want an omega, and why he can be such an obsessive butthead when it comes to having everything just so.
I’m youngest and don’t want to be in charge.
Despite what everyone thinks, I could survive on my own, but I don’t think I can be responsible for somebody else.
I haven’t even had a pet since I moved out of my parents’ house.
The apartment charges a stupidly high pet deposit, and with my school and now work schedule, it wouldn’t be fair for me to have to leave some poor pup at home all day by themselves.
So I’d probably need to get two of anything, so they could keep each other company, and I know we can’t afford the deposit for that.
Maybe once we get into this new place. I’ll need to clean up the yard, but after that I’ll talk to Paul about it.
Maybe he wants to share a cat with me…or a dog.
I doubt I could talk him into a hamster, since Mom always freaked when Chewy got out and ran loose.
But he always came home. Well, almost always.
There was the time that Kay found him in the tub.
It was thankfully empty but he couldn’t get his stubby little butt free.
I didn’t know hamsters could jump at all, but they can…
just not high enough to escape a bathtub.
I miss having a fluffy cuddle buddy…or any kind of cuddle buddy, really.
Paul isn’t the snuggling type, and I’m pretty sure Al would try to smother me in my sleep if I ask for any more hugs.
They both concede sometimes, but it’s not really the same.
Mom’s a hugger—and so are Kay and Claire.
I’m pretty sure that my snuggle needs came from her.
Dad, Tiffany, and Penny aren’t big on physical affection, so I know I can be overwhelming to them sometimes, too.
Actually, I could use a hug right now. My eyes flick over to Paul, but he’s reading the paperwork intently before he signs anything.
At least one of us is smart enough to do that.
Honestly, it’s kind of surprising that they took our offer so fast for the house.
He barely had time to do any research on it, and while Al has complained for the last three days straight, he’s also been moving his boxes of books into the living room so he can pack up everything else in his space.
Not that there can be much in there—he has so many books, I don’t know how anything else even fit in his little car when he moved.
Where does he keep his clothes, anyway? Last I saw, the closet was stuffed with more boxes of books.
Maybe he’s right about needing a library.
Even with the nest, this house has plenty of bedrooms that we should be able to put up some shelves for one.
I don’t mean the super fancy built-in kind; those are nice, but we can at least order some cheap IKEA type stuff…
or ask Sam how much they would be to build.
Christmas has already passed…but…maybe for his birthday?
Whenever that is, I’ll need to look at my calendar app.
Should I get stuff set up for the nest now, like a big bed and pillows and stuff?
That’s something an omega would want to pick out herself, right?
Or…not if we don’t get one, though Kelly says she likes Teddy’s nest so maybe some betas like to nest too.
It’s never come up with my sisters, but they all like soft and cozy stuff, so keeping some extra fluffy blankets and stuff around wouldn’t be a bad thing.
Extra linens are just an adult thing to have on hand, right?
Paul taps me on the shoulder, sliding a stack of papers across the desk to me and holding out the pen.
He taps the one on top, and I see where he and Al have already signed it.
I do the same, and he flips through several more pages and taps again.
More flips, more signatures…soon I don’t even think about what I’m doing.
Which is good because I kinda zone out, and I know the guys want to get the keys to the house so we can go look around and make any decisions on painting or anything before we officially move in.
That’s gonna take a few weeks since Al goes back to work on Monday and I’ve been trying to fit in more hours at the gym so I can start adding back to our savings. Thankfully, Paul was able to take the next couple of weeks off for vacation. But things have been weird at his work, anyway.
We can probably draft Josh and Billy to help move boxes…
and maybe Kelly with Sam’s truck. It’s not like I’d let her carry anything, but she has three big mates—and Steve—or she could just drive if I load and unload it.
I’m not sure how else we can get our couch moved from the apartment.
It’s a few miles’ walk to the new place, and too cold this time of year to carry the stupid thing that far.
I don’t want to have to wait till spring.
Do we know anybody else with a truck? Does Sal have a truck?
I know Pack Asher does, but they’re super busy with their kids right now.
Paul rubs my shoulder before tapping on the papers in front of me.
Then he throws an apologetic smile to Alice and I wonder when I stopped automatically signing stuff.
Pinching my thigh under the desk to keep my mind from wandering, I scribble through the last several signatures and give our poor realtor my own apologetic smile.
I’ll call Mom when we get home and ask what kind of stuff beta ladies might like in a gift basket. She’s gonna be so excited about us getting a house.