Chapter 75
It’s difficult to fight back the fog that’s clouding my brain from this heat, but I need to try—need these guys to understand that it’s not just the hormones.
That I would choose them if I could. It doesn’t feel like I have any options with fate stepping in and matching me to John, but I wish these three were mine.
I’m grateful that Greg is mine, no matter what, and he doesn’t see it as a slight that I need alphas.
He knows he’s my choice and my fate and how lucky I am to have him. I couldn’t do this without his support.
I look around the room. It’s time for my next alpha, the older blond one.
He’s not as tall or muscular as Spence, but his body is honed more like a swimmer, built for endurance and speed instead of strength.
His whiskey and oak smell is sharp with desire, and his eyes smolder as he watches me crawl out of the nest. I’d like to say I saunter seductively over to him, but it’s less of a sexy sway and more of a weaving drunken shamble.
Need is driving us both as I take his hand and start towards the nest before he scoops me up and deposits me gently over the lip and climbs in after me.
The smallest alpha reaches out, like he’s asking us to wait, and from what I heard, I can understand his need for reassurance.
I want him, need him too, but I’m not ready for two alphas at once yet, so I wave him over and smile as he scrambles across the room.
He stops, frozen at the edge of the mattress, and I offer my hand, nodding to the far side of the mattress where my beta and big alpha are already sitting.
He gives me a small smile and walks around to their side before crawling over the edge and letting me turn my full attention back to Paul.
He’s sexy in a more mature way, still fit, but with tiny laugh lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth, and I wonder if I was able to stay here, if I could get some of the smiles for myself.
I’m suddenly nervous. He’s older than me, not by a huge gap, but he’s also an alpha.
He’s been free to meet people and have other relationships while I’ve been stuck at the stupid center.
What if I’m not good enough, or he thinks my lack of experience is stupid?
What if this doesn’t mean anything to him, just a way to get off?
My chest hurts at the thought, even though it shouldn’t matter.
I guess it would be easier, though, if they didn’t want me.
Just fate giving me another push to fall for people who don’t really want to keep me.
Well, other than Spence…but I can’t base my entire life on one guy.
He lies down closer to the edge than Spence—it’s getting a bit full in here—and offers me his hands to help balance while I straddle his hips.
This is still pretty new to me, and I’m more comfortable being able to see these alphas and my beta, at least for now.
I’m sure that as the heat progresses, we’ll be in different positions, but by that point, I don’t think I’ll care nearly as much.
He waits until I’m straddling him and reaching between us to line him up with my entrance.
The heat hormones—and Spence—have made sure that lube isn’t a necessity.
He sucks in a sharp breath as he starts to slide inside, but then stops me, hands grasping my hips so tightly that the flesh is nearly white under his fingers.
Paul’s voice is hoarse, a low rasp that I feel through my entire body. “Tell me you want me.”
What the what?
That seems vain, but the pleading look in his eyes says this isn’t some power play or a dominance issue, and he seems to take my silence for denial.
“Me…us, we’re not just some random knots to you?
I need to know—” his voice cuts off on a rough groan as I sink down a couple of inches, the urgency from my heat driving my body even as my mind spins his question around, “—you want us for us, not just because we’re convenient.
” The raw need on his face is a surprise, but I won’t lie to him.
His hands lose strength, sliding up my ribs to cup my breasts and tease my nipples.
It’s not easy to think with him touching me.
My mind scrambles as I sink all the way down, the swell of his knot kissing the edge of my lower lips before I’m able to form coherent words again.
“Yes…you. And Spence and Al. I want you. I shouldn’t.
I have another scent match, but I don’t think he wants me.
” The alpha’s face vacillates between relief and compassion.
His eyes hold an understanding that I’m not sure I’m ready to face in my hormone-addled state, and I barely register the low sigh of relief from Al as it’s eclipsed by Spencer’s loud purr rumbling back to life. I should have seen that coming.
My hips rock back and forth, trying to get enough friction.
Paul isn’t as big as Spence, but my thighs are already sore from earlier, and I can’t seem to get the movement right.
My frustration must be starting to show because one long arm circles my waist and pulls me against a firm chest. “Hold on, Sugar.” I don’t have a chance to argue against the endearment—my hands reach up, wrapping under his arms and around his back as he flips us over.
This is new. It’s fine, but when you’re only shoulder level or lower to most people, it can be stifling to stare at somebody’s stomach while they thrust. Thankfully, before I have a chance to say anything, he pulls back, kneeling on the bed and pulling my thighs up against his stomach.
The sudden shift hits a spot deep inside that I didn’t feel from being on top, and my toes curl against his chest as he pins me in place and rocks his hips forward.
Holy fucking shit, that feels good, and I clench down tightly, making him groan in response.
Greg pops into my line of sight, visually checking in on me.
He’s still gloriously naked right now, and my hand reaches out for him, needing to touch my beta.
He takes my fingers, twining them together with his as he smiles down at me.
“I love you, Sarah. I’m here.” Paul grunts at him, drawing his attention before nodding.
It’s nice not to have to worry about jealousy here; these alphas seem to accept us both, just as we are.
Sweat starts to form on Paul’s brow as he looks down, watching my face and adjusting the way his hips move until it feels like my eyes are going to roll back in my head.
It feels too good, and my free hand scrambles on the sheets, needing something else to hold on to so I don’t fly away.
Paul nods to Greg again, who pulls his hand free, but moves up to stroke my hair while Paul leans forward, nearly folding me in half.
His grunts are growing louder, a low growl building in his chest as his pace increases.
It’s a stark juxtaposition: my saucy beta calmly carding his fingers through my hair while the sweet and soft-spoken alpha looks almost feral above me, his knot slamming against my entrance over and over as he rubs that spot deep inside.
My mouth drops open in a gasp, and before I can form any sort of coherent thought, I’m flying over the cliff into an orgasm that sends shockwaves through my system.
A lightning strike against my spine that radiates outwards, curling my toes and making my head thrash side to side as my nails dig into the sheets.
It feels like I’m going to fly apart, and it just keeps going.
A long, keening cry breaks from my lips and Greg bends low to capture it in a kiss.
It’s a tight fit with the alpha above me, but he doesn’t slow, and the waves of pleasure continue to roll through me until I want to beg him to stop.
It’s too much, and Greg finally pulls back, allowing my whimper to slip free.
Whether that was what Paul was waiting on, or it was just good timing, I don’t know, but he finally slows down, leaning back so he can look into my eyes.
His breath comes in labored pants, and his voice is raspy with effort.
“That enough, sweet girl, or do you need more before you get my knot?” I don’t think I can form words right now, so I nod dumbly, and that must be enough.
He bends, closing his eyes for a moment and pressing a soft kiss on my ankles that are still clasped in his big hands before swinging his hips back into an easy glide.
It feels like my body is finally settling down from the intensity of a moment before when he twists and thrusts forward, his knot starting to slide inside.
He grunts, pulling back and repeating the move.
Each time he almost locks inside me, and the stretch at my entrance is intense, not painful, but a lot.
He’s staring down, watching his own cock as it slides in and out, his breathing ragged when he looks up to meet my eyes and does the thrust and twist one final time before slipping inside and staying.
I’m not expecting the next orgasm that slams into me suddenly, like it snuck up behind me and bashed me over the head.
My eyes roll back as my hands come up, scrambling at any part of him I can reach.
Greg flails backwards, getting out of my reach as I slide my nails down the alpha’s arms. He’s the only one in range, and I need to touch something.
Paul hisses as my nails dig into his skin.
He slides his hands up my legs, grasping my hips so he can bend forward—his mouth coming down to claim mine in a hard kiss as he continues to grunt, rutting into my body.
My orgasm rolls through me as he grinds his hips hard against my clit while he plunders my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine.
Finally, when I have to breathe, he pulls back, his breath coming out in a loud groan as he wraps me in his arms and sits up, pulling me against his chest before dropping back onto his heels.
His big body rocks back and forth while I’m pressed against him, still locked together.
Paul peppers my hair with kisses, a low, quiet purr rumbling through his chest where my cheek is pressed against it.
He’s murmuring something as he strokes my back, but I can’t make it out through the fog in my mind.
Everything feels disconnected and floaty as he rocks us back and forth.
I’m stuffed full, and calm, and relaxed, and safe… everything just feels so right.
That in itself should probably be throwing out some red flags, but right now I’m too boneless to care.
I just want to stay here, stuck to this alpha for the foreseeable future.
The ache is gone, and my body is languid and tired after coming so hard.
The hands on my back move, one keeping me pinned to his chest while the other comes down to wrap my legs around his waist.
I nuzzle against the warmth cocooning me, leaving a trail of kisses across the pale blond hair that runs over his chest. I can feel us shifting, moving around in the bed as I start to drift off, my body already gearing up for the next wave.
Familiar voices talk quietly around me, but it’s hard to focus, and soon we’re lying down again, Paul on his back with me across his stomach and chest. My fingers come up under my jaw to use as a pillow, and someone pulls a soft blanket over my back.
My mind and body drift in a sea of relaxation—still stuffed full of this alpha—and I nod off, listening to the quiet voices around me.