Chapter 7
Horatio
Horatio grabbed Snake’s phone. “What’s the bad news, Sugar?”
“Eight Reptilian guards are headed your way. Stay away from the windows.”
“You sure?” Horatio peeked through the kitchen curtains while zipping his pants. “I don’t see anyone, and those guys aren’t exactly subtle.”
“Stay away from the fucking windows!” Sugar shrieked.
“Yeah, yeah, got it.” Horatio crawled to Gunner and Snake, who were dressed and crouched behind the sofa.
Snake snatched the phone. “Do we have time to make a run for it?”
“No,” Sugar said. “They’re scurrying in like ants.”
Seven’s voice cut in. “They’ve found the trail cams and are taking them out one by one. This is a fucking catastrophe!”
“We’ve lost all visual,” Sugar said, voice tight.
Horatio shuddered. He’d grown used to danger, but having Gunner along heightened the stakes. “Can you shut off the portal shield so we can escape from inside?”
“If it were that simple, I’d have done it already,” Seven snapped.
“I’m grasping at straws here, dude,” Horatio huffed.
Snake crawled to the front window and peered through a crack in the blinds. “This one only has a gun. Do any of them have swords?”
“No, just semi-automatic rifles,” Sugar said. “And I already know what you’re thinking, so let me stop you right there."
Snake’s silver irises shifted to black. “Bullets can’t kill me, remember?”
“Are you serious?” Gunner hissed.
“I’m always serious about fighting, lad. You boys stay put, and I’ll take care of this lot lickety-split.”
“First, no. Second, fuck no.” Horatio grabbed Snake’s arm. “You’re the one staying put until we figure this out.”
A booming voice bled through the walls. “Horatio Slice, by the royal order of King Meridian, you have fifteen minutes to surrender.”
“Bastards!” Snake’s black irises swallowed the whites of his eyes, turning them into twin voids. His fangs lengthened. “I’ll kill them all!” He tore free from Horatio’s grasp and shot toward the door.
“No, you don’t!” Horatio tackled Snake before he reached the doorknob, slamming him to the floor. When he sprang back up with a roar, Horatio dropped him with a clean right hook.
“Give me an update!” Sugar barked.
“Horatio just punched Snake’s lights out,” Gunner said. “Why?”
“It’s the only way to snap him out of berserker mode. He loses his mind and turns into a killing machine.”
Gunner blinked. “And why didn’t we want him to take out all the lizards?”
“He’s fast, but there are too many. While he was busy with a few, the rest would start shooting holes in this place. And then us.”
Gunner paled. “Now what?”
“Does the cabin have an attic?” Seven asked. “Get on the roof, and you can pick them off with the guitars.”
“No attic. No basement.” Horatio sighed. “I’ll give myself up. It’s the safest way.”
“Don’t you dare, Slayer,” Snake slurred from the floor. “I’ll kill you before I let you surrender to Meridian.”
“I agree with Snake,” said Sugar. “Seven’s starting the engines. We’ll portal to you and spray them with bullets from the deck.”
Snake bolted upright. “And let these goons blow holes in my ship? Absolutely not!”
“Congratulations. You’re trapped in a can without a can opener,” Seven shouted. “Unless you let us do our job.”
“Dudes, I have a can opener.” Horatio grinned. “My guitar.”
After checking each window, Horatio found a chink in the Reptilian’s armor: only one guard stood on the southeast side. He’d blast the back door off its hinges, Gunner would stun the guard with his guitar, and Snake would open a portal to home base right outside the opening.
“Pretty brilliant, huh?” Horatio asked the group.
Snake checked his watch. “We have five minutes to come up with something else.”
Sugar groaned. Seven gave a verbal thumbs up.
“I don’t know how to use my guitar.” Gunner clung to his pendant like a lifeline. “If I make a mistake, one of us dies.”
Horatio tucked the necklace inside Gunner’s T-shirt. “You opened a portal inside your dorm. Pretty sure I can count on you to strum a few strings.”
No one spoke as they prepped. Horatio set Gunner’s guitar to stun and helped him fit the strap over his backpack. Snake matched the settings for Old Red and slung it across his back. Twelve-string locked and loaded, he took a quick, steadying breath. “Let’s do this.”
“Aye.” Snake said goodbye to Sugar and pocketed his phone. “I’m counting on you blokes to keep me alive. Don’t fuck up.”
“We got this, right Gun?”
“Sure. Easy peasy.” Gunner trembled.
“I believe in you, Cupcake.” Horatio sucked in a breath. “One—two—three!”
The door exploded outward, sending shards of glass and wood flying. The guard dropped and rolled, barely avoiding the debris. Gunner kept strumming, knocking out a Reptilian who advanced from the right.
Snake’s portal erupted in mid-air. “You first, lad!”
Gunner hesitated for a split second, then took a deep breath and leapt. As Horatio lunged forward, a gunshot cracked the air.
“Shots fired! Go, Horatio!”
“No. I’m not leaving you!”
Snake’s black eyes gleamed with something unhinged. His lips curled into a vicious smile as he shoved Horatio backward.
The last thing he saw before tumbling through the portal was Snake, fangs bared, turning toward the advancing Reptilians.
· · ·
Horatio landed hard on soft sand. Gasping, he unstrapped his guitar and sat up. “Gunner! Where are you?” He spotted the backpack on its side and his Gibson resting on a pile of palm fronds. But no Gunner.
Horatio shouted his name again, unnerved by the echo. Lightheaded, he rested on his back, forearm shading his eyes, and tried to talk himself off the ledge. Gunner had to be here, and, besides, this was Environ, their home base. Where they were safe. Mostly.
He sat bolt upright and shrieked, “Gunner!”
After a few heart-stopping seconds, Gunner popped out from behind a wide palm.
“Horatio! Holy shit, am I glad to see you.”
He held out his arms, and Gunner collapsed on top of him.
“Where’s Snake?”
“They shot at us, and he flipped back into berserker mode. The way he laughed when he shoved me through the portal…” Horatio shuddered.
“He’s back there alone? What can we do?”
“All we can do is wait.” Horatio held Gunner tight and let relief soak into his limbs. “We should’ve brought you to a safe place back home instead of dragging you into this nightmare.”
“First of all, fuck you for thinking I’d go along with that stupid plan. Second of all—”
A portal cracked into view. Snake emerged, cackling wildly. His chin, neck, and shirt front were drenched in red.
Gunner scrambled off Horatio. “Whose blood is that?”
“Reptilians. They taste like rusty nails, but I drank every drop while they screamed.”
Gunner recoiled. “Dude.”
Horatio pushed himself to his feet. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”
“Don’t be a buzzkill.” Snake wiped a smear of blood off his chin. “I saved us and sent a message to Meridian. He won’t fuck with us for a while.”
Gunner grabbed Snake around the middle. “I thought we’d lost you.”
Snake kissed the top of Gunner’s head. “It takes more than rifles to stop me.” He frowned at Horatio. “You need to apologize for punching me in the face. That’s my best feature!”
Gunner backed away from the hug. “Dude. Your stomach is all pointy.”
When Snake untucked his shirt, dozens of flattened bullets poured onto the sand, clinking like coins. “Blimey. Maybe Reptilian blood isn’t the only thing I’m drenched in.”
Snake’s back and chest were riddled with what looked like cigar burns. Horatio’s stomach churned. He took a step back and almost dry heaved into the nearest bush. “Pretty trippy that your shirt is intact.”
“Suki’s magical fabric defies all logic.” Snake groaned. “I feel like a giant beastie chewed me up and spit me out.”
“Beast mode depletes your adrenaline, remember? Take a rest but update Sugar first.”
Snake held his phone as if afraid it would bite him. “I’ll call him from over there,” he pointed to a swaying palm tree. “I’m sure this conversation will be loud.”
Horatio stretched out next to Gunner, bent elbow for a pillow, and placed a hand on his chest. “Your heart is beating so fast.”
“Feels like I lived three lifetimes today.” His brow furrowed. “Wait, is it still today?”
“Time loses all meaning out here. Some days feel like weeks, others like seconds. I’m used to it, I guess.”
“Are you used to being chased by bad guys, too?”
“Yeah, but not usually right after sex.” He enjoyed Gunner’s giggle and the blush the followed. “Hope you had as much fun as I did.”
“Are you kidding? That was hot, especially when—”
“Whelp, Sugar’s mad.” Shirtless, Snake flopped down next to Horatio. “He wants us to return to the ship right now, but I have to wait until these marks on my body disappear.”
“You didn’t tell him about those?” Horatio’s patience with his friend had run out.
“He’s already upset. Making him more so won’t help.” Snake laid down, head resting on Horatio’s chest. “Let’s enjoy the sun for a bit, yeah?”
“But what about Meridian? And the lizard people?” Gunner sat up, mouth grim. “We’re out in the open.”
“No worries, lad. Environ is a secret pirate-run dimension that Meridian doesn’t even know about. We’re safer than bees in a hive.”
“I missed your old man adages.” Horatio smoothed Snake’s braids. “And you.”
“Likewise, and let’s never speak of it again,” Snake muttered before drifting off to sleep.
Horatio patted the other side of his chest. “Room for one more.”
Gunner curled into him, head cradled by Horatio’s shoulder. He tried to ignore the warmth blooming in his chest. Snake was a fickle friend. Gunner was essentially a stranger—just some beautiful, wide-eyed kid with flirty eyelashes and an off-the-charts IQ.
The instant connection he’d felt earlier?
Probably horniness. Or maybe a cosmic quirk because they’d both been born on the same spinning rock. Yeah. That’s all it was.
Not something deeper that could break him.
Holy fuck, please not that.
Horatio breathed slow and deep, willing the feelings to pass. He fell asleep, and when he woke, the sun was lower in the sky. Gunner stirred beside him. “Bad dream?”
“Yeah, we were getting shot at.”
Snake checked his front. “Still gnarly. We’re stuck in for a bit longer.”
“The marks are lighter than your tattoos now.” Gunner traced an ornate one covering Snake’s forearm. “What do they mean?”
“They all say Sugar in different languages.”
“He gets a new one whenever he pisses Sugar off. You’re running out of room, dude. They’ll have to start tattooing your fangs or something.”
“I used to have one circling my asshole, but friction wore it away. I’m blaming your big boy.” Snake palmed Horatio’s crotch.
Gunner wiped tears of laughter. “Do we have time for a story? I really want to hear how you guys met.”
Horatio grinned at Snake. “Today’s our two-year anniversary.”
“Blimey. What a whirlwind.” Snake sat with his legs crossed. “Right. Two years ago today, I was sitting in jail—”
“Maybe start with why you were in jail. It’s juicy.”
Snake chuckled. “Earlier in the evening, I’d been in Merona, at a gay bar called Vibrations.
While I got pissed as hell on tequila shooters, some local sat next to me, and we started talking.
Next thing I knew, he had his tongue stuffed in my ear!
I said, “Hey, ya dodgy codger, do us both a favor and put that thing a little lower.’
Quick as a blink, he bent me over the bar and yanked down my britches. The bloke’s tongue was as long as an eel, and he had it halfway up my bung when a copper walked in. Charged me with public indecency but let Lizard Tongue off scot-free.”
“You let a stranger tongue-fuck you in a crowded bar?” Gunner asked.
Snake flushed. “I was three sheets to the wind, remember?” He pointed to Horatio. “But enough about me, it’s your turn.”