Chapter 9
Gunner
“Snake took me back to his ship and I met the crew—which was an out-of-body experience, let me tell you.”
Gunner was still reeling from Horatio’s story. “I’m going to need at least a vague description of those guys.”
“Hard to describe that lot,” Snake said. “They’re tiny, sparkly, and deadly. Try not to stare—they despise being gawked at.”
“You’re making them sound too sweet.” Horatio cracked his knuckles. “Imagine an angel, Gun. Now, shrink him to fun-size, strap on an Armani suit tailored by Caligula, train him as a super spy, and clone him eight times. Boom. The crew.”
Gunner swallowed. “I just wanted to know their hair color, but thanks for scaring the crap out of me.”
“Platinum blond, natural. They come from a dimension called Humeria and look almost identical.” Horatio slung an arm around Gunner. “I never thanked you for bringing me home. It was nice to see New York again.”
“You didn’t get to see much.”
“But the parts I did see were amazing.” Horatio gave Gunner a hot kiss that turned his knees to warm sand.
“Kinda bummed you didn’t narrate the sexy part or your origin story. You guys did it on the beach, right?”
“No, in Petulia, on top of a flower bed. As soon as he unzipped, I knew I needed a ride on that magnificent beast. Oof!” Snake shook his head. “Best part about riding Horatio? You feel him in your ass for days afterward.” He tilted his head at Horatio. “Are you blushing, mate?”
Gunner glanced at Horatio, surprised to find him red-faced.
Why is he embarrassed? If I had his dick, I’d wear a picture of it on a T-shirt.
“I mean… it’s not that big,” Horatio stammered.
“Are you daft? You just handled it, Gunner. What do you think?”
“It’s gigantic.” Gunner licked his lips. He could still taste him. “In a good way.”
“Oh, hey, Gun, I meant to ask, but then, boom, Reptilians. When you said you were gay, was that a ‘coming out’ moment?”
“Yeah. I’d always known, but saying it out loud…” He huffed out a breath. “It was harder than it should have been. Especially with you guys.”
“Coming out is hard for everyone. You’re a badass, though. You came out, then turned around and helped us escape a small army. Fucking epic.”
“Lollipop on the outside, titanium on the inside—that’s what you are.” Snake patted Gunner’s knee. “One of the reasons why I’m not living in Vinterbourne is because I’m gay. But I don’t miss wearing that ridiculous crown.”
“Excuse me?” Horatio blinked. “Crown?”
“My father is the vampire king of Vinterbourne. I’ve never mentioned it?”
“Pretty sure I’d remember you were a prince, dude. That’s huge,” Horatio said.
Despite Snake’s nonchalance, the pain in his eyes made Gunner’s heart hurt.
“It’s nothing, really. I refused an arranged marriage, and my father kicked me out of the kingdom. Eighteen, broke, and on my own.” He ground the heel of his boot against the sand. “But I’ve done all right.”
“You’re top pirate and a billionaire. You’ve done way more than just all right.” Horatio clapped Snake on the shoulder. “Plus, you’re sexy as fuck.”
Snake grinned. “This is why we’re mates, Hor.”
Horatio stared at Snake for a long breath. “So, just to confirm, we’re friends again?”
“Yeah. I decided to forgive you for running off without telling me.”
“How the fuck was I supposed to tell you?” Horatio’s voice rose. “You wouldn’t talk to me. No one would talk to me! After two weeks of being treated like the plague, I fucking paid Seven to drop me off somewhere.”
“You’re the one who stole the petty cash reserve!”
“I needed food and shelter. What did you want me to do? Crawl into the woods and die?”
Gunner thought Snake looked like he might actually vomit from shame, but that didn’t stop him from making things worse.
“If you wouldn’t have pissed Sugar off, none of this would’ve happened.”
Horatio’s eyes flashed. “What the fuck did I do to Sugar?”
“He thinks you’re in love with me. And he only thinks that because he claims I said, ‘I love you, Horatio,’ in my sleep. Vampires can’t love, so naturally, he assumes you’re the infatuated one.”
“You said you loved me in your sleep, and he blames… me?” Horatio let out a long, exhausted sigh. “In what dimension does that make sense?”
Snake twisted one of his many rings. “Makes perfect sense to me.”
“No. You’re interpreting it wrong. Sugar isn’t upset with just me. He’s devastated because he thinks we took our friendship to another level.”
“Devastated is a bit strong,” Snake scoffed.
“Actually, it’s not strong enough.” Horatio softened his tone. "You know he’s in love with you—obsessive, possessive, all-consuming devotion."
“I know. He says, ‘I love you, Snake,’ every morning.”
"And you've never said it back to him. Now imagine being Sugar—devoted to you above all else—and hearing you confess your love for another man."
“But vampires can’t love.”
“But they can break someone’s heart.”
Gunner spoke up, his voice quiet. “Maybe you said it as a joke, but it didn’t sound like one to Sugar?”
“Or you said it on purpose to hurt him.”
“Or Sugar dreamt the whole thing.” Snake slammed shut. “Let’s check my bullet holes so we can get the fuck out of here.”
Gunner’s brain spun. Snake couldn’t love. Horatio felt unwanted enough to leave the safety of the ship. What had he gotten himself into?
They checked Snake’s body. “Not even a scar,” Gunner said. “I thought you were kidding about magical fabric.”
“The crew are a highly skilled group. Each has specialties, and Suki’s is developing fabrics with unusual properties.” Snake put his shirt back on. “This one’s self-healing and self-cleaning.”
“Does the crew have magical powers, too?” Gunner asked.
“All Humerians do. They just don’t talk about it,” Snake said. “I’ve only seen them make portals on occasion.”
“Those sneaky fuckers told me they couldn’t do that,” Horatio said.
“Because they prefer making a grand entrance. And what’s grander than rolling into town on a gorgeous ship?” Snake shook his head. “Everything they do is dramatic, even their relationships with each other. They share thoughts, mood, all of it—like horny telepathic bees.”
“The hive mind is cool. I mostly just enjoy watching them terrify Snake.”
“You know what, Horatio? I hope a family of crip crabs takes up residence in every pair of your knickers.”
“Crip crabs?” Gunner asked, not really wanting to know.
“Tiny crabs that crawl up your legs and suck blood out of your taint.” Snake winced. “We’re parked in water today. You might see some.”
Gunner crossed his legs. “Can we just stay here?”
“Don’t worry, cutie. The only one sucking your taint will be me.”
Snake stood. “Let’s get going then. I’d like to watch.”
Horatio picked up his guitar but didn’t strap it on. “Actually, maybe I’ll stay here. I’m not ready to face Sugar’s wrath today. Or—honestly—ever.”
Gunner froze.
If Horatio was afraid of Sugar, he didn’t want to go anywhere near him.
“Relax,” Snake said. “He’s mostly harmless.”
Horatio snorted. “Tell that to the last guy who called him harmless. Pretty sure he still walks with a limp.”
Gunner’s stomach flipped. “Yeah… I’m good with staying here forever.”