Chapter 14 #2
“Oh, great. That woman always wants something, and then after we hike all over the universe to get it, she changes her mind and wants something else.” He shook his head. “High maintenance."
“Stop that, Hor. The princess is a lovely lass,” Snake said. “Funny thing is, she rarely called until you joined the crew. Why is that, do you suppose?”
“Face it, Horatio. You make her panties moist,” Sugar said.
Gunner almost laughed coffee through his nose.
Horatio pushed his hair back. “For one, she never wears panties. For two, if it’s an easy job, I can sit this one out.”
Snake scowled. “No way, Slayer. If you want back on the crew, you have to participate. Every job. Every time. Or you can move back to the country.”
Sugar nodded. “But we’ll keep Gunner.”
“Fine, but I’m not sitting next to her this time. I still have her fingerprints on my junk.”
“I thought you played for both teams,” Snake said.
“Yeah, well, I like players that have some manners,” Horatio huffed. “Did she happen to mention what she wants?”
“Besides a spanking from Horatio?” Stiles giggled.
“She prefers to speak about such delicate matters in person, but we all know what she’s after: sex toys. Her collection is impressive,” Snake said. “Stiles is positively green with envy, aren’t you, darling?”
“I hate her like poison,” Stiles seethed.
“Wow. Color me intrigued as hell.” Gunner’s first pirate gig included stealing sex toys for a horny princess? This was going to be good.
Snake checked his watch. “Meet me in the cockpit in an hour and dress the part. We’ll be visiting royalty, after all.”
· · ·
Horatio held Gunner’s hand as they traipsed through the maze of corridors.
“How many times have you gotten lost on this boat?” Gunner asked.
“At least twenty. I got locked inside the treasury one night and still have nightmares about it. There’s some freaky shit in there.” Horatio stopped outside the door. “We only have an hour, so we should take a shower together. Unless you’d rather not.”
“No, I rather would.”
“Kickass.” Horatio scanned his thumbprint, but nothing happened. “Weird.”
“Did Meridian hack us again?”
“No.” Horatio tapped the empty space above the peephole. “My plaque is gone.” He sighed. “Joke’s over, Suki.”
Suki stepped out from an unlit corner, smiling in a predatory way.
“I upgraded your room, Gunner. There’s more space and an entire wardrobe I whipped up especially for you.
” He backed Gunner against the wall and kissed him, long and deep.
“If you need anything else—fresh towels, snacks, a blowjob—just ask.”
Weak with desire, Gunner pressed his hands into the wall to hold himself steady. He tried to say thanks but only managed a whimper.
“I do love a strong, silent type.” Suki nibbled Gunner’s bottom lip.
Horatio cleared his throat. “He was bunking with me, you know.”
“Well, now you’re bunking with him.” Suki winked. “The suite at the end of the hall. You’ll really enjoy the shower.”
The ‘suite at the end of the hall’ bore a plaque that read Gunner in block letters, with Slayer, too squeezed underneath in plain script.
Horatio groaned. “Those assholes really love to roast me.”
“How did he have time to make a sign?” Gunner asked.
“I never question anything the Humerians do.”
Gunner scanned his thumb but paused before turning the knob. “I’m afraid to look.” He let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean if they like to give you shit, I’ll probably get worse.”
“No way. They already like you, Gun. This suite used to be Snake and Sugar’s until they renovated the penthouse.” Horatio pushed the door open. “The ultimate upgrade, and all yours.”
“Suki put your name on the door, too.” Gunner lingered in the doorway.
“Yeah, but you get to pick your roommate, not Suki. Maybe you’d rather be alone?” Horatio shrugged. “Privacy can be nice.”
Something squeezed tight in Gunner’s chest. “You don’t want to be my roommate?”
“I totally do. We’re… friends, right? But you have, uh, choices.”
Friends? After everything they’d done together, Horatio only saw him that way? Maybe it was fair. They’d only known each other for a day. Still, Gunner already felt… more.
“I’d rather room with a friend.” He stepped inside—and stopped dead. “Wow.”
Instead of the sleek, minimal suite he expected, the room was a sensual paradise. Cushions, platforms, pillows in every size and shape. An island-sized bed. Mirrors—even one on the ceiling. And hung over the bed like a holy relic was Horatio’s blue twelve-string.
“See what I mean, Gun? This room is deluxe.”
“Complete with guitar.”
“That one’s a replica. Once Snake and I mastered mine, we paid Ting a fuck ton of cash to make more and keep his mouth shut about it.” Horatio pointed. “Your stuff’s in here.”
Gunner’s laptop sat perfectly centered on the desk beside his cell phone. Three notifications blinked on the lock screen, all from Marcus chiding him for missing their workout. He considered answering, but what would he say?
“Hey bro, I’m hiding from an evil dictator with a vampire pirate and a crew of identical hotties. Oh, remember Horatio Slice? He fucked me. To completion.”
Horatio peered over Gunner’s shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“How do I tell my friend I traveled to another dimension without freaking him out?”
“You don’t. No one back home is ready to learn about this.”
“I have to tell him something, or he’ll think I’m—” Gunner swallowed. Horatio’s family thought he was dead, and he could never set them straight. “I’m sorry.”
“I hate you’re going through this, too. Not gonna lie, the first few months were rough. I pulled up my own obituary. Talk about a mind trip.” Horatio forced a grim smile. “Blowing up on stage is kind of a cool way to go out, though.”
“You’re a fucking legend.” Gunner sighed. “I’m just an empty chair in a computer lab.”
“Lots of people are missing you. Especially your best friend.”
“One friend, and twenty bucks to my name. The only valuable items I own are on this desk. Earth won’t miss me. Just fact.”
“We’ll get you back home soon, and you’ll take over the world with your inventions.” Gunner melted into Horatio’s hug. “But for now? We’re living in a pirate movie.”
“Speaking of pirating, when are we leaving?”
“An hour, but Snake prefers to be fashionably late. Besides, I haven’t shown you the shower yet.” Horatio nudged Gunner into the bathroom and flipped on the light. “Ta-da.”
Nozzles, tubes, suspicious attachments—the thing was more “science experiment gone wild” than an actual shower.
“What the fuck? Does this thing fly?”
“This, my friend, is the kinkiest shower in the universe. It will get you clean in the dirtiest way possible. Should I fire it up?”
“I’m game.” Gunner frowned at the lone porcelain fixture on the wall. “Uh… there’s only a… urinal in here.”
Horatio grinned. “That’s all you’ll need from now on. One of the many fringe benefits of inter-dimensional travel."
Gunner went weak in the knees. “Tell me you’re serious.”
“I’d never joke about that.”
“So, nobody has to, you know, prep?”
“Exactly.” Horatio pulled him closer. “We still need lube, but small price to pay.” He turned on the shower. Steam billowed. Water cascaded in a dozen streams from impossible angles. “Prepare yourself. It’s wild as hell and just as hot.”
Gunner shook his head, grinning despite everything. He was living in a movie, all right.
A porno movie.
He only hoped there’d be a happy ending.