Chapter 29
Snake
“Bloody motherfucking hell!”
Snake clapped out the flames licking the cuff of his sleeve. He turned off the welding torch and set it aside.
“Gotta kink in your dick, Captain?” Seven asked.
“Sugar said twenty minutes.” Snake checked his watch. “It’s been twice that already.” Of all the new emotions he was learning to navigate, worry was the worst of all.
“I’d take my time, too. This place is incredible.” Seven welded another piece of sheet metal across Frances’ wound. “No cops. No cannibals. It’s like we’re on vacation.”
Snake took a swig from his flask and passed it to Seven, keeping one eye on the horizon. “I can’t remember the last time we took a holiday.”
“Two years and one month ago, before we somehow intercepted Meridian’s crush.” He knocked back a drink. “But a ride on Horatio’s pole is a mini-vacation, so no complaints.”
“Too right you are, lad.” Snake ran a palm over the steel patchwork. They’d been working for over an hour and barely made a dent. “Do we have enough holofoil?”
“No. We also need a gallon of power bond and a case of sandpaper.” Seven tucked the flask into the waistband of Snake’s pants. “I’ll send Saki once he’s finished the power grid.”
“Do you really think we can fix her, Seven?”
“We’re the best in the goddamn universe. Of course, we can.”
Snake exhaled slowly. This wasn’t a blown coil or a crack in the hull. This was a gut punch, and he wasn’t just talking about Frances.
Movement between the trees caught his attention. His body tensed, ready to spring, but it was only Horatio and Gunner, holding hands and laughing as they strolled back.
“I’ll bet my dick those two explored more than just the landscape,” Seven muttered.
Snake snickered. “I hope you sexy boys brought back some good news.”
“No monsters. No creepy crawlies. Just birds, rabbits, and other non-scary woodland creatures.” Horatio unstrapped his guitar.
“And dragons,” Gunner added. “A whole family flew over our heads. I almost fainted.”
“Good. Frances needs a peaceful place to heal,” Seven said.
“Did you ever check that video I took during the hack?” Horatio asked.
“Just a black screen and no audio. Almost as if it didn’t want to be recorded.”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” Gunner said. “I hope we get to meet this hacker one day. I’d like to pick their brain for a few hours. Or days.”
“I want to shake them until their teeth fall out.” Snake checked his cell for the umpteenth time. “Still no word from Sugar.”
Gunner pointed over Snake’s shoulder. “Here he comes.”
“Why’s he running?” Horatio asked.
Panicked, Snake sprinted toward Sugar, mind racing with all manner of terrifying scenarios. “Are you hurt? Are you bleeding?” Snake grabbed him in a bear hug and carried him back to the ship.
“Put me down, lunatic. I’m fine.”
“Let me look you over.” Snake patted his body, checking for bullet wounds, arrows, and other terrible things his mind concocted in the moment.
Sugar smacked his hands away. “Will you stop? I need to tell you what I saw in the woods.” He plucked the flask from Snake’s waistband and sipped between ragged breaths.
“What the hell did you find?” Horatio asked.
“Decapitated Reptilian heads on stakes. Dozens of them in various stages of decay and, ugh, grossness, flanking a long path.”
“What was at the end of the trail?” Snake asked.
“Warehouses.” Sugar fondled the handle of his Glock. “Whoever resides here hates Reptilians, which might work to our advantage.”
A mournful howl echoed from somewhere.
Gunner cocked his head. “That sounded like a wolf.”
“No.” Snake broke into a grin. “That’s a were.”
“Dragons, Reptilians, and now werewolves. What’s next? Zombies?” Horatio asked.
Eyes burning, Snake sniffed the air. “I can handle a were. In fact, having a good, old-fashioned brawl would be fun.” He shrank back from Sugar’s glare. “I can’t help it, love. Vamps and weres are natural-born enemies.”
“Your eyes are black. The last thing we need is more trouble,” Sugar said.
“Plus, it’s getting dark,” Horatio said. “We need to head inside. Strange shit always happens when the sun goes down.”
“We should take turns guarding the ship. I’ll take the first watch.” Snake could barely hide his excitement. “You lot can head inside. I’ll be fine.”
“Absolutely fucking not. You’ll follow standard procedure and park your ass in front of the security feed.” Sugar pointed to the hatch.
“Our power supply is dicey enough as it is. Besides, I want to see how the sky looks at night. I’m sure it’s gorgeous.” He pouted at Sugar.
Horatio volunteered to stay outside while Seven, Sugar, and Gunner went onboard. They set up lawn chairs and placed a bucket of iced beers between them.
“Twenty bills says they already have Gunner naked and are taking turns eating his ass.”
“Too bad we’re on guard. I’d like to watch that.” Horatio popped the cap off a beer.
“When you and I are finished out here, we can do the same.”
Horatio fingered the snap on Snake’s pants. “What’s stopping us from doing it now?”
Snake chuckled. “We don’t want to get caught with our knickers down if the enemy shows up, now do we?” He licked his lips. “Unless it’s weres, and they’re a friendly sort.”
“You’ve fucked a werewolf before, haven’t you?”
“Of course. Had a fun time with a rare type known as a Loup Garou. Fierce creatures with long snouts and two rows of sharp fangs. Hairy all over, too, but muscular and wiry, like a bandit.” Snake squirmed at the memory.
“How did this booty call happen?”
“Back when I worked for Scully, we used to box for extra cash. Some of the seedier pubs hosted tournaments, and I was paired up with a stocky Garou named Francois. After too much whiskey, he got to bragging about his fisticuff skills, so I challenged him. Winner got to fuck the loser.” Snake smirked.
“I’ll tell you what, they don’t look so bad bent over. ”
Horatio burst into raucous laughter. “Dude, you have the best stories. I’m glad to be back here.” He gestured to the darkening hills. “And here especially.”
“I’m glad to have you back on board where you belong.”
“You’re acting weird. Not bad weird. Good weird. Like a therapist railed your ass while you bared your soul.”
“That’s the kind of therapy I’d sign up for.” Snake picked at the bottle’s label. “Something happened between me and Sugar. A good something.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Another time, when I’m less on edge.” And horny. Snake couldn’t stop thinking about how Francois had returned the favor, pinning Snake face down in the grass, riding him hard while a pair of his brethren watched, fapping and howling under a blood-red moon.
A mournful howl rolled through the trees, low and hungry. “Blimey, that’s a magical sound. He’s a big one, too. I can feel it in my balls.”
“You definitely have a kink for monsters, my friend.”
Francois had given Snake a wolf bite, too, right between his shoulder blades, paralyzing him—forcing him to give in completely. And he had. Cock rubbing against the dewy ground, bulbous phallus deep inside, the Loup Garou had made him howl with pleasure.
Another bay, followed by snarls and yips. Snake stood. Horatio reached for his guitar. Shadows flitted through the trees.
“Wanna fuck a Loup Garou, Hor? They’d bend over right quick for you.”
“You sure that’s what’s out there?”
Deep growls. The snapping of twigs. Snake’s heart thumped. “I’m sure.” He turned to smile at his friend. “All we need to do is catch one.”
“Dude, your eyes are black. Park it. I really don’t want to get murdered tonight.”
“You sit. I’m ready for some action.”
On the edge of berserker mode, Snake raced toward the forest, hungry for a fuck, a fight, or better yet, both. Horatio crashed along behind him, sans guitar.
“Vampire, if you get me killed I’ll haunt you into your next life!”
Dodging thick trunks, Snake chased the sounds, mindless to everything else, until Horatio shrieked his name from behind.
“Snake! Help! I’m trapped.”
He spun around, disoriented. “Where?”
“I’m dangling from a fucking tree!”
Snake followed Horatio’s shrieks, but three steps later, he found himself encased in a net, ten feet off the ground—pinned tight and helpless.
“Bollocks! They got me, too.”
“Now what? I can’t reach my bracelet.”
Snarling like a wild animal, Snake struggled, but the trap only squeezed tighter, making it difficult to breathe. “Don’t struggle, Horatio, it makes it angry.”
“Too late.”
A menacing voice rang out. “Who dares trespass on our ancestral land?”
“I’m Captain Snake Vinter. Who the bloody hell are you?”
“Snake Vinter?” Someone sighed. “Nice work, asshats, you’ve captured an ally,” a familiar feminine voice said. “Lower the damn nets.”
“Sorry, Martine,” a masculine voice said. “I thought Snake had a red ship.”
“Meridian has a red one, you dimwit,” Martine snarled.
Snake chuckled as the net descended. Martine ran a tight ship, and whoever fucked this up would be digging a pink slip out of their arse before morning.
A button clicked and machinery whirred as the snare loosened.
Once free, Snake stood and stretched. Horatio stepped out of the shadows, eyes wide, hands raised.
“No worries, mate. Martine is Saul’s sister.”
“Thank fuck.” Horatio let out a breath and dropped his arms.
Small figures appeared, familiar and friendly. The largest, Martine, had a deep scar running from ear to chin and wore a khaki utility vest.
“Snake Vinter. How in the hell did you find this place?” Martine asked. “Don’t tell me you fucking pirates put us on a map.”
Snake held out his pinky, and she gave it a shake. “Long story, love. But our arrival wasn’t intentional. We crash-landed here while running away from King Buta.”
“That rat bastard threatened to make soup out of me once.” A smaller male stepped forward. “I’m Pete, Martine’s son. Welcome to Scuirius.”
“Scuirius? Saul’s never mentioned this dimension,” Snake said.
“We keep this place a secret. And if you want to live, so will you,” Martine said.
“I’d never betray you or your kind.” Snake put a hand over his heart. “You have my solemn word.”
“Good. I’d sure hate to kill my favorite vamp.” Martine clapped her paws and instructed the crew to call it a night. “Petey and I will buy you a drink. Who’s your bulky partner?”
“This is Horatio Slice, a friend from Earth and a proper bloke.”
“Horatio? You must be the one Meridian’s rabid for. Saul told me all about you.”
“All good things, right?” Horatio chuckled nervously.
“Sure, kid.” Martine and Pete escorted them to the trail Sugar had mentioned. “The lizard heads you see overhead are fakes, created by some of our top artisans,” she said as they walked. “We hang them near the warehouses to scare off any would-be thieves.”
“Not that we get many. Our security system is top of the line,” Pete said.
“And the few no-good-niks we’ve come across?” Martine cackled. “Sleeping at the bottom of a lake.”
The buildings’ windows were tinted to hide the contents, which most likely consisted of illegal firearms, stolen goods, and maybe even bodies.
“Quite a grand operation you have going here, Martine.”
“Thanks, Snake.” She stopped in front of a smaller building and unlocked the door. Pete flipped on a light, revealing crates of liquor stacked to the ceiling and a well-stocked bar. “Pour us some shots, Petey.”
They all took a seat. Standing on the bar top, Pete yanked a tiny tap handle and poured four amber shots—two human-sized and two miniature ones. He slid the glasses across the bar with practiced finesse.
“Here’s to stealing, drinking, and dodging the cops.” Martine raised her glass.
“Aye.” Snake tossed back a fine bourbon, enjoying the warmth in his belly.
“What do you think of Scuirius so far?” Martine asked.
“Stunning place,” Snake said. “How did you happen upon it?”
“We practically tripped over it during a scavenging mission about seventy years ago. Once we discovered there was nothing scarier than a dragon here, we made it our home base,” Martine said. “But you’ve never been here, right, Snake?”
“Been where?” Snake smiled. “Horatio and I heard a lot of howling out in the woods. Got any Loup Garous around here?”
“No, those wolf noises are piped in through a speaker grid. The whole damn dimension is wired,” Martine said.
Snake deflated. “So, no actual werewolves?”
“None here,” Martine said, “but we do have werewolf friends in a dimension called Perrito. Surely a vamp like you knows all about that place.”
“No, I don’t. Please enlighten me.” How had he missed this juicy tidbit?
“Perrito is werewolf country, but not like those ugly Loup Garous. These look like people during the day and wolves at night. Their leader, Mace Wolfguard, is a great friend of ours. His pack recorded the howls for us. Guaranteed to make even Meridian wet his pants.”
“The king of the universe is afraid of weres?” Snake belly-laughed.
“Well, he wasn’t until recently.” Martine leaned her elbows on the bar. “Petey, buy us another round. This is quite the story.”
The tale she wove held Snake and Horatio in rapt attention. “This came straight from Mace Wolfguard himself. About a year ago, Meridian sent a handful of his guards to Perrito, trying to recruit werewolves for his army.”
“Why the hell would he want werewolves?” Snake asked.
“Rumor has it he’s scared of something.” Martine took a sip of her drink. “Or someone.”
The room went quiet for a beat.
“Mace told Meridian’s goons to shove it, so the brat went into a rage. Sent General Dragon Varanus and 200 more Reptilian guards to force Mace’s hand. Perrito werewolves are lethal creatures. They tore through two-thirds of the guards before Dragon called for a retreat.”
Snake emptied his glass. “Not familiar with Dragon. Sounds like a right bastard.”
“He’s a puff-chested coward,” Martine spat. “Fled through a portal as his men lay dying. We Scuirians would never leave a comrade behind.”
“Damn skippy.” Pete raised his glass.
Martine’s voice softened. “The next day, Dragon’s brother arrived to claim his remains. Mace told him the truth, that Dragon ran. But the brother refused to believe it. Last I heard, he still wanders the battlefield, searching.”
Snake’s chest tightened. “Who’s his brother?”
Martine grinned wider than ever. “None other than Komodo Varanus himself.”
Horatio slammed his fist on the bar. “Komodo? That asshole tried to feed us to cannibals just this morning!”
“We barely escaped with our skins intact.” Snake frowned. “So, Dragon escaped through a portal, and no one’s laid eyes on him since. Where do you suppose he’s hiding?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. But he’d better stay undercover. If the truth ever got out, the entire Reptilian force would fracture like an old man’s knee.” Martine leaned in close, voice low and sharp. “But you didn’t hear any of this from me.”
Snake’s gut twisted.
This was it. Real leverage. The kind of secret that could burn a kingdom to ash.
The question was, how could they use this intel to save Horatio?