Chapter Twenty-Eight
Roan
Two months later…
H is dark eyes are vacant. Jordy is no longer the kid playing basketball with me or fucking with me about my lack of cooking skills. No, he’s dressed in a cheap suit that probably belongs to his dad awaiting his sentencing.
I hate how resigned he is to his future.
Hollis grips my hand so tightly, I think my bones will break. It would feel better than the shredding of my heart.
Roux fidgets from beside me. She’s upset. We both are. But there’s nothing we can do. Jordy was adamant about what really went down. Some fake ass story that the cops pretty much rolled their eyes over, but one they accepted, nonetheless.
Gang rivals.
I was some tool for him to get to Alexander.
He swore to them that I was just there to visit my sister, not kidnap her like Mom claimed. The dudes attacked me and Roux, and then Jordy killed those men. He told them it was convenient, because they needed to die anyway.
During the trial, they attempted to get answers from Jordy. The name of the supposed gang he was with. Why they had beef with Alexander. How come he told the cops during the standoff he was protecting us and never mentioned these alleged gangs. It was a shitshow and Jordy just sat there stone-faced and quiet. The one time he decided to speak was to plead guilty. Everyone was pissed off. The lawyers. The judge. Us. But what can you do when someone just willingly takes the heat for shit?
Nothing.
My mind drifts to the one time we spoke.
“My attorney says I’m going to prison no matter what I tell them,” Jordy says, swallowing. “No need to have them drag you through the mud.”
“It’s not dragging me through the mud,” I hiss. “It’s being honest as to why we were there. She was being assaulted. I went there to save her. You were worried, so you came too. The four men were trying to hurt us. You killed them. The fucking end, Jordy. We all go home. Together.”
He shakes his head, his dark eyes sad as they probe me. “We’re not boys anymore, man. We’re adults. Your mom’s claim means you’re looking at serious jail time for attempted kidnapping. Years, Roan. You have a future.”
“Oh, give me a fucking break,” I snap. “You have a future too and you’re ruining it. Ruining everything.”
“For Roux,” he growls. “And you. Besides, I’m not ruining everything. I’m being smart. For once in my damn life, I’m being smart. You ‘visiting’ your sister and getting caught up in a gang beef keeps you both innocent and victims. I’m going to prison either way, so I may as well keep you clean.”
“This is bullshit! You were defending us!”
“I think it’s time for you to go. It’s done, brother.”
I hastily swipe at my tears. “It’s not done. I’ll tell them all this. That it’s all just your way of protecting us. You’ll get a lesser sentence. You can come back to us.”
His features grow cold. “I’ll deny it.” He sneers. “I used you. To kill those motherfuckers.”
“Stop, Jordy,” I beg. “Please. The cops who responded already know you were protecting us. Come on, man, we can fix this.”
“This takes the focus off why you were there,” he snaps. “How many times do we need to go over this? They will toss your ass in jail just as quickly as they will me for what I did. Do you want Roux all alone with your mom and her next asshole boyfriend?” He cracks his neck. “I sure as hell don’t. Who’s to say the next one doesn’t hurt her in ways that can’t be undone? She needs you.”
“She needs you too,” I argue, choking on an angry sob. “We both do.”
“You have the rat and she has his sister. Just…” He sighs. “Just let me take the fall for this and stay clean. Make me proud. Go fight fires like you always wanted. Go make babies with the rat for all I care. Just make sure Roux is right there with you and safe. Swear it to me, Roan. On our friendship, brother.”
Defeated, I nod.
I’ll do it for him.
I’ll do it for Roux.
Because, honestly, I don’t know what else to do.
As the memory fades, I stare at Jordy. He’s so resigned to doing this. It kills me. But, after researching the laws, he was right. If they dug and could prove I had plans to kidnap Roux, which they easily could, I would get a few years if convicted. A few years that Roux cannot afford to lose of me. I’d read up on Oregon laws and his sentence would be reduced if he could prove extreme emotional distress, which was plausible considering he was trying to save us, but that would once again shine the spotlight on why I was there. We all know it wasn’t for a friendly visit. I was there to take her.
I let out a heavy sigh of frustration. This fucking sucks. I’m shaking and barely able to hold it together. I’m thankful to have Hollis by my side. Cal and Trey are sitting on the other side of Roux, both just as upset as we are. Our friend is up there, in front of everyone, facing a horrible future. The lawyer warned us that if the judge is harsh, he could be spending life without parole. He thinks, though, with the holes in the case and Jordy’s age, the judge might be more lenient. Only time will tell.
The sentencing trial goes quickly.
I’m numb through it all.
Until it’s time for sentencing. The judge shakes his head in exasperation before speaking.
“I may be old, son, but I’m not dumb. And neither is anyone in this courtroom,” the judge says, frowning at Jordy. “This wasn’t premeditated. There’s no proof of gang affiliation. We have several testimonies from law enforcement officers who arrived on the scene. You were protecting your friends.” The judge pinches the bridge of his nose before sighing. “But I can’t force you to tell the truth. You’ve plead guilty and that’s out of my control.”
The courtroom is nearly silent as we all wait with bated breath for the sentencing.
“What is under my control is your sentencing. My hands are tied where Oregon law is concerned, meaning you have to serve time. How much, though, is up to me. Considering your no priors and age, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to spend your life in jail. You’re still young, therefore you’re still thinking like a boy. I’m hoping you’ll begin thinking like a man soon. The minimum sentence I can give you, son, is ten years at Oregon State Penitentiary with eligibility for parole after four.”
The same goddamn prison my father’s at.
Ten years.
And that’s the best we could hope for.
“I suggest,” the judge says in a firm tone, “that you get really familiar with the appeal laws of our state. I suggest you sit and think about how this impacts your life. Maybe one day we can revisit this case.” The judge shakes his head again. “Try not to lose yourself in there, kid. You’ll get out before you know it and still have a chance to do right by yourself.”
As he mumbles on more of the court sentencing jargon, I shut down. I’m dying inside because I feel like this is all my fault. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to free my friend.
A loud whistle catches my attention over all the murmurs of voices.
Jordy.
Dark, penetrating eyes on me.
“Take care of Little Hornet.” He mouths the words, but I hear them clear as day.
I nod sharply, which earns me a rare smile.
And then they take my best friend away.
“I don’t want to go,” Roux whines. “Not today. Not after seeing them take Jordy away.”
I stroke Roux’s hair and let out a heavy sigh. “I know. But Mom will be here any minute to get you. We have to play this right. You have your phone, right?”
Roux nods.
“Good. Call me or text me if anything is weird. Captain Fitzgerald said he’d be the first to check on you if you needed anything. We’ll do this the right way this time.”
“I miss you, though. She stole all my birthday money, you know.” She huffs. “For bills she said, but I don’t believe it. I hate living with her.”
Who the fuck takes their kid’s birthday money?
“I know you do. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry,” Hollis says, patting her foot. “Tomorrow is another school day. Roan and I will pick you up first thing in the morning. Charlotte will talk your ear off and all will be right in the world.”
She laughs. “She does talk a lot in the mornings.”
“More than you,” I tease. “Seriously, though, everything is going to be okay.”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
We all three groan in unison. Mom allowed Roux to attend the hearing, but only because she was at work. Now she’ll take my sister back home. This fucking sucks.
I rise and stalk over to the front door. I swing it open and glare at my piece of shit mother. She reeks of cigarette smoke and her eyeliner is smeared. Her hand trembles when she waves for Roux to come with her.
“Are you high?” I demand. She hates when I ask her this.
“No, asshole, I’m tired as fuck. Been stripping to keep the electricity on because your stupid best friend killed my boyfriend. Now I have to pay for everything by myself.”
Testy.
“Aww,” I sneer. “Poor Mom. Actually having to be a fucking parent for once.”
“Get your shit,” Mom bellows to Roux. “I don’t have time for this. I’m ready to go to bed.”
It’s three in the afternoon.
“I’m coming,” Roux grumbles.
“See you tomorrow,” Hollis tells her.
Roux hugs me and I kiss the top of her head. “Take care. Call me later.”
Mom shoots me another nasty look before wobbling down the stairs in her stupid high heels. She and Roux climb into Alexander’s Maxima. The bitch peels out, making a mess out of Mike’s yard. I shake my head in frustration.
“Come on,” Hollis says, taking my hand. “You need a nap.”
I’m numb and broken and sad as fuck. Jordy is going to prison. Ten fucking years. My eyes are blurry by the time we make it to bed. Hollis is gentle as he strips me down to my underwear. He does the same and then we crawl into bed. My boyfriend holds me, allowing me to just blank out for God knows how long.
It’s dark by the time I decide to speak.
“It’s all my fault.”
He runs his fingers through my hair. “Nope. You can’t take this on your shoulders.”
“If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have felt like he needed to rescue us.”
“Jordy is a big boy. He knew what he was doing.”
I sigh. “Maybe I should have been more adamant about my reasons for going there. Maybe that would have somehow reduced his sentence. I don’t fucking know.”
“It was hard for them to prove he killed in defense when he killed four people,” Hollis says gently. “So even if you told them you were there to take Roux, it doesn’t change that. Either way, ten years was a good outcome for him.”
“Nothing feels good about any of this.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “But there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s done.”
We lie in silence for a while longer until his stomach growls.
“You need to eat,” I state.
“Yeah. I can make us something.”
It’s weird seeing Hollis eat now. I guess if I had a bleeding hole in my stomach, I’d never be hungry either. I’m glad they fixed him. He’s healthier looking than I’ve ever known him. It’s one less thing to worry about.
Neither of us gets up.
“Roan,” Hollis practically yells. “Phone.”
I squint against the lamplight and take my phone from him. “Hello?”
“Roan, it’s Carol.”
My blood turns to ice. “Where’s Roux?”
“I have her with me. She’s safe,” she assures me. But her voice is off. Something is wrong. “Roan, your mom…”
“What?”
“She overdosed on heroin tonight.”
The line grows quiet.
“Hello? Roan, did we get disconnected?”
“Is she in the hospital?”
Carol sighs. “She passed away. I’m sorry.”
I’m not.
I don’t voice that. Barely.
“I’m bringing Roux to you,” Carol says. “I’ll stay as long as you two need me to.”
We hang up and Hollis frowns at me.
“What happened?” he asks.
“Mom’s dead. Roux’s coming home.”
He pounces on me, kissing me hard. “Thank fuck.”
“Thank fuck,” I murmur against his lips.
Finally, a win.
“Remember when Cal threw me in the pool fully clothed one summer?” Roux asks, a smile in her voice.
I chuckle. “Jordy broke his nose.”
“He deserved it,” she sasses.
“He did. If Jordy didn’t punch his dumb ass, I would have.”
“You were too busy rescuing me knowing full well I could swim,” Roux tells me.
“Aww,” Hollis teases. “Roan’s a hero.”
“I really did save your ass, brat,” I say to him with a smirk.
We all laugh. Laughing feels good. It’s been a few days since Roux came home and we’re still in shock. With Mom. With Jordy. With all of it.
“I’m going to get a Coke. Want anything?” Roux asks as she stands from the sofa.
“I’m good,” Hollis says and I nod.
She leaves to go into the kitchen. Hollis chooses the moment to crawl up my body and steal a kiss. Kelsey visits a lot lately because it’s the only way she gets to see her son. He and I have been glued to each other after all that’s gone on. It just feels good having someone to lean on.
“How are you doing?” he asks, his lips hovering over mine.
“Better now that Roux’s here.”
“Good.”
He kisses me deeply again and doesn’t pull away in time. Roux groans in exaggeration.
“Gross, Hollis. Stop mauling my brother.”
Hollis slides off me and shrugs. “I can’t help it he’s so hot.”
I laugh and Roux makes a sour face.
“Don’t tell him he’s hot. He’ll act like he’s the shit,” Roux tells him.
“Hey now,” I chide. “Don’t say shit.”
“Why not?” she demands.
“Because shit’s a shitty word, you shithead.”
She snorts. “I’m going to say shit only because you don’t want me to. It’s what you get for tonguing your boyfriend in front of me.”
Hollis cracks up laughing. “Oh, man, you have your hands full, babe. This one is a major brat.” He ruffles her hair, messing it up. “You’ve been hanging out with Charlotte too much. She’s a bad influence.”
Roux swats Hollis’s hand away. “Whatever.”
Hollis curls up against me and continues to pick at Roux by poking at her with his toes. She tries to mean mug him but ends up giggling. I almost feel happy. But in the back of my mind, I think about the cost my happiness came at.
Jordy.
Hollis, sensing my somber mood, stops fucking with Roux and threads his fingers with mine. “It’s going to get better,” he assures me. “I promise.”
My heart lightens a little.
I believe him.
It has to.