Chapter Two
Roux
K ayden groans against my mouth as his hand teases my flesh beneath my shirt on my stomach. A small whimper escapes me, making him smile against my lips. We’ve only been officially dating for a week and I love kissing him, but sometimes it feels like things are moving way too fast. When his fingertips brush along my bra, I push at his shoulders.
He lets out a heavy sigh before pulling away, a frown marring his face. “What?”
“I’m not ready…for that.” I chew on my bottom lip and straighten my glasses. “I’m sorry.”
“What is that , Roux?” he challenges with a smirk.
“You know what that is,” I grumble. “We can kiss, though.”
He rolls his eyes and checks his phone. “It’s fine. I know you’re my little prude. I’ll wear you down eventually.” His tone is playful, but I don’t miss the glint of irritation in his gaze.
“Just give me more time to warm up to all of this.” I take his hand in mine. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad. I’ve just waited a long time for us to happen.”
“We are happening,” I assure him. “All those things will come with time.”
He flashes me a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sure thing, babe. I gotta go. Rex wants me to drop by the shop. I’ll pick you up in the morning for school.”
Disappointment floods through me. We were supposed to study together tonight. Since Roan isn’t here and Hollis is at school, I thought we’d have all that time to ourselves. But, apparently since I’m not putting out, Kayden’s ready to bail on me.
Kayden rises from the sofa and stretches. He’s probably the hottest guy at Horn River High and I somehow landed him. Me. Roux Hirsch. Big, awkward nerd. But it’s not exactly how I imagined it.
Something’s missing.
Guilt niggles at me. Of all the girls he could have ended up with, he’s chosen me, and all I can think about is maybe he chose wrong. Maybe he’d be better off with someone like my best friend Charlotte or one of the other popular cheerleaders. He certainly deserves more than a girl who questions it every time he wants to touch her.
Because you think of him.
Jordy Martin.
My brother’s best friend who’s serving ten years at OSP for killing four men.
“Hey,” Kayden says, cupping my cheeks. “I’m not mad. I know how you are. I’ve known you for a long time. We’re good. I really do have to go.”
He coaxes a smile out of me when he kisses my forehead.
“Call me later.” I stand on my toes and meet his lips for another kiss. “Okay?”
“As soon as I deal with my asshole brother, I’m all yours.” His hands find my hips, drawing me to his obvious erection. “I really don’t want to go. I’d rather study naked with you.”
I laugh against his lips. “You’re crazy.”
He opens his mouth, no doubt ready for a smartass retort, when the front door flings open. We jerk apart as though we’ve been burned. I turn to see who interrupted our kiss.
Lovely.
“Hey, Roan,” I squeak out, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
Roan’s amber eyes that match mine exactly narrow as he regards Kayden. “What’s going on here?”
I glower at my brother, crossing my arms over my chest. “We’re studying.”
Since when does Roan have a problem with Kayden coming over? He’s one of my best friends. It’s always been that way.
“Studying?” Roan cracks his neck and then glares at Kayden. “Probably time to go, kid.”
Kayden, who once used to be intimidated as hell by my brother, lets out a derisive snort. “I’m not a kid.”
Oh, great.
“Ignore him,” I tell Kayden, clutching his arm through his hoodie. “He’s just grumpy because his honeymoon’s over. I’ll talk to you later.”
I can tell Kayden really wants to kiss me by the way his eyes dart to my lips, but I give him a warning glare. Now is not the time to admit to Roan I’m seeing Kayden romantically. And certainly not by kissing in front of him. I need to ease into telling my brother because I know he’ll be overprotective about it. If Kayden kisses me, Roan will lose his shit and probably tackle him.
Ugh.
I wish Hollis were here.
He diffuses every situation that involves my brother.
“Later,” Kayden grunts out as he walks away and slams the door.
I flinch. “Hey. I thought you had work.”
Roan studies me for a long couple of beats. “I told you I had something to take care of. I don’t go back to work yet.”
“Oh,” I utter. “That’s right. So what’s up?”
He walks into the kitchen of our garage apartment and rummages around in the fridge. I follow him, leaning against the counter. Once he finds a container of leftover meatloaf Kelsey sent over with Charlotte yesterday, he pulls it out to nuke it.
“You and Kayden looked awfully cozy,” he says, his back to me. “What’s up with that?”
I let out a heavy sigh and decide to come out with it. “We’re seeing each other now.”
Roan whirls around, his eyes flaring with fury. “What?”
“He’s my boyfriend,” I state, lifting my chin. “You know I’ve always liked him.”
“Liked,” he growls. “It was a crush. I didn’t think you’d actually go out with him.”
I cross my arms over my chest and shrug. “It’s not a big deal.”
The microwave beeps, indicating it’s done cooking, but Roan makes no move to pull it out. His eyes flare with an unfamiliar anger. Truth is, we don’t argue or fight. This feels foreign and I don’t exactly love the feeling.
“You’re seventeen.” His voice is low and furious.
“So?” I bite out, throwing my arms in the air. “You were fucking Sidney and half of the other girls in this town long before that.”
“It’s different,” he snaps. “I don’t want you seeing him.”
“Well, you don’t get a choice!” I shriek. “I like him and he’s my boyfriend.”
“No.”
“You can’t no me on this, Roan!”
“I will because I’m responsible for you. He’s bad news.”
It all clicks into place.
“This is because of Jordy, isn’t it?” I demand, seething with anger. “He sent you a stupid letter too? Come on, Roan, you know Kayden. He’s been a permanent fixture around here for years. Where the fuck was Jordy? Oh, that’s right, he bailed on us.” Hot tears blur my vision, but I’m not done blowing up. “He left us and refused to see us. Screw him and his letters.”
Roan’s features soften. He hates when I cry. “I went to see him.”
“What?”
“That’s where I went today.”
I gape at him. “You went and saw Jordy and didn’t take me with you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“It is not complicated,” I cry out. “I should have gone with you!”
Guilt shines in my brother’s eyes. He stalks over to me and pulls me to him for a hug. I clutch his hoodie, inhaling his familiar scent. Roan has been my rock—my stand-in parent—for as long as I can remember.
“Kayden’s brother is Rex. He’s a shithead who’s into a lot of illegal stuff. Jordy is worried. I’m worried. It’s for the best.”
Anger bursts up inside of me again. I push away from his hug, shaking my head.
“Kayden is different and you know it. He’s a good friend, and so far, a great boyfriend,” I state with a huff. “He doesn’t even pressure me to have sex.” White lie.
The look of horror on Roan’s face is priceless.
“You better not be fucking him. Or anyone, Roux. You’re too young.”
“I can fuck whoever I want,” I volley back. “You’re not my dad.”
He flinches at my words. Okay, so that was a low blow. Ugh.
“You’re right,” he growls. “But I’m your big brother and if I feel like someone could potentially hurt you, I’ll do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. Don’t make me turn into an asshole over this. I will. For you, I will. Even if that pisses you right the fuck off.”
All guilt I felt dissipates.
“Maybe I should move into Mike’s,” I hiss. “He’s my legal guardian. At least he won’t bully me away from dating someone I like.”
Roan sneers at me. “Your threats won’t work with me. We both know Mike will be stricter on you than I could ever be. Accept that you and Kayden are over. If you want to date someone else, then you can let me meet them. Kayden is a hard no.”
“I hate you,” I whisper, storming out of the kitchen before I do something stupid like punch him.
He calls after me, but I ignore him. I grab a hoodie and throw it on before shoving my feet into some shoes.
“Where are you going?”
“To Char’s,” I grind out. “Unless I’m restricted from seeing my other best friend too?” I glower at him. “What do you say, Dad? Am I allowed?”
“You’re being unfair,” he mutters.
“That makes two of us.”
I push out the front door and stomp down the steps, furious at my brother. I’m so focused on how much he pisses me off, I nearly tackle Hollis in the process. He grabs my shoulders, steadying me.
“Hey, squirt. What’s wrong?”
I angrily yank off my glasses and swipe at my tears. “Roan is in a mood. Can you run me to Charlotte’s?”
He looks up the stairs, probably having a silent conversation with his new husband about me, and then nods. “Sure. Let’s go.”
We climb into his purple Mustang. I refuse to check if Roan is watching us. I’m being an emotional bitch, I know, but I can’t help it. Between Kayden getting pissy with me for not wanting to go to second base and Roan throwing out ultimatums, I need a break from boys altogether. Hollis is the only boy not on my shit list, but since he’s madly in love with my brother, I know where he’ll stand on the issue, and it won’t be with me.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks when we arrive at his sister’s house.
“I want you to talk sense into my brother. Tell him he’s overreacting. I’ll see whoever I want to see.” I challenge my brother-in-law with a glare. “Can you do that?”
He lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Good luck.” I fling open the door and charge up to the house. Charlotte’s home has been a second home to me ever since she moved here in the middle of eighth grade a little over three years ago with her family. They left Vermont after Hollis came out as gay. His dad freaked and his mom, Kelsey, went into protective momma bear mode. She brought her family to stay with her sister, Karen, and they’ve been close to us ever since.
Hollis waits until I’m inside before he drives off. I wave to Karen and Penny, who are watching television, before heading upstairs to Charlotte’s room she shares with Penny. I nearly run over Kelsey in the process.
“Hi, sweetie,” she says in her usual motherly voice that makes me love her a little more each day. “Everything okay?”
“Boy problems,” I grumble.
“Kayden?” she asks with a knowing smile.
“Yeah. And Roan.”
Her smile falls. “He’s not taking it well?”
“Nope.”
“He loves you and worries about you,” she tries, forcing a smile. “He’ll come around.”
I can’t tell her he won’t because this involves Jordy and the fact they think my boyfriend is a crime lord like his brother Rex. Instead, I nod.
“I hope so.”
Kelsey hugs me and kisses the top of my head. “Love you, little Roux. I’m always here to talk.”
“Love you too.”
We pull apart and I slip into the bedroom to see Charlotte. Where my room is painted navy blue, is filled with black and white pictures and poetry and random items to reflect my personality, Charlotte’s is perfect and showroom ready on her side. Teals and golds and white. She’s the neat to my messy. Light to my dark. We’re total opposites who somehow work.
“Hey, hootch,” she says when I enter, not looking up from her textbook.
She’s also the smart to my dumb ass.
Even now, I still have to be tutored. Luckily, her brother does most of my tutoring these days rather than Ms. Frazier.
“Hey,” I mutter as I kick off my shoes and crawl into bed with her.
She closes the book, turning her intense blue eyes on me. “What’s wrong? You’ve been crying?”
“You don’t look so good yourself,” I grumble. And it’s the truth. Dark circles under her eyes color her golden skin. Her normally smiling lips seem chapped and downturned.
“Boys,” she grumbles.
I snort out a laugh. “Same.”
“What? Not my boo Kay. He’s a good boy.” Her eyes narrow. “He better be. Bestie or not, I’ll castrate him if he hurt you.”
I roll my eyes. “He’d probably rather be castrated.”
Her perfectly sculpted eyebrows hike up her forehead. “Why do you say that?”
“Because, unlike me, he’s not happy with just making out.”
“He can get over it,” she huffs. “You’ve been dating a week.”
“I think he’ll be fine,” I mutter, “but it’s more than that. It’s Roan. He doesn’t want me seeing Kayden. Says he’s bad news.”
Her brows deepen. “Because of Rex.”
“Yup.”
“You’re my best friend, so I’ll always side with you,” she says slowly, “but Kayden has been spending more and more time with Rex. I know you’re smart and you know what you’re doing. Just be careful.”
Her words hit me right in the gut. Logically, I know Roan and even dumb Jordy have a point. Kayden was born into a dangerous family. But they don’t know Kayden like I do. He’s a good person who likes me. I like him. It’ll be fine. Everyone is overreacting.
“I’ll be careful,” I assure her. “If I don’t sleep with him, he’ll probably break up with me anyway.”
Her lip curls up. “Then the asshole doesn’t deserve you!”
I grin at her. “This is why I love you.”
“I’m your favorite,” she says with a smirk.
“So why are you down? What are your boy problems?”
“Ryan.”
Ryan Cunningham is her newest flavor, but he’s lasted longer than I expected. Charlotte dates around. A lot. And it’s rumored at school that she sleeps around a lot too. But Charlotte and I spend a lot of time together. She says she’s not sleeping with all these guys and I believe her. The other girls spreading the rumors are just jealous because she’s beautiful and smart and athletic. People can’t handle when someone is the full package. They live to tear them down, even if it’s just their reputation.
“Why? What did he do?”
“He gets jealous easily.” She huffs. “Like Kayden, for instance. Ryan thinks I have a thing for Kayden.”
Uneasiness settles in my gut. “But you don’t.”
“I know that. Ryan just sees me with you and him all the time. Jumps to ridiculous conclusions.”
“So break up with him.”
She frowns. “It just feels different with him. More intense or something. I don’t know. I can see us becoming more.”
“At least we have one thing in common about our boy problems,” I say, shaking my head. “Roan apparently hates both our boyfriends.”
“Oh, God,” she groans. “If he calls Ryan or his brother ‘Cuntingham’ one more time, I’m going to punch him in his stupid fireman abs.”
A laugh escapes me. “He really hates the Cunninghams. It’s almost comical. I think it’s because he thinks Tyler is going to try and steal Hollis. We ran into him and his boyfriend at the movies last month. Roan was so pissy after that.”
“As if Hollis would ever leave Roan. They’re so obsessed with each other.” She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I guess Roan is just going to have to get over himself. Kayden is your boyfriend and Ryan is mine.”
“Maybe we should double date so Ryan can see Kayden’s not going to put the moves on you or something,” I suggest.
Her eyes darken. “He won’t go for it.”
“Why not?”
“He really, really doesn’t like Kayden. Bad idea.”
“Why do you like him again?” I blurt out.
Her features pinch in obvious hurt. “I just do. Same reason you like Kayden even though he’s a pushy, spoiled bastard who is used to getting his way. They’re just brats and we’re somehow attracted to them.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, leaning my head on her shoulder. “Maybe we should ditch the boys and date men.”
Like Jordy?
My flesh heats in embarrassment. He’s in prison. Just because I used to crush on him when I was younger doesn’t mean I want to date him, even if that were a possibility. He’s Jordy. Like a brother to me.
“Or we could just save ourselves a lot of trouble and date each other,” she teases, nudging me.
“You’re too high-maintenance for me,” I joke back.
“Plus, I love the D,” she says with a laugh.
Okay, so maybe she’s not as virginal as I once thought.
“Have you and Ryan…” I trail off and look up at her.
“Yes.” She bites on her bottom lip. “When we’re alone…he’s really good to me.”
Something about her statement irks me. “What about the rest of the time?”
“Then too,” she says, huffing. “I’m just saying he’s so sweet when we’re together.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were sleeping with him?”
“Because I didn’t want twenty questions about it,” she mutters in a defensive tone. “He uses protection. He’s gentle. Mom doesn’t know. Does that answer all your questions?”
I let out a heavy sigh as I turn to give her a side hug. “Be safe and don’t be afraid to talk to me, Char.”
She toys with a strand of my hair. “I will. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I assure her. “Now can we turn on some Lizzo while you do homework so I can pretend I don’t have to go back home in a little bit to deal with my overbearing brother?”
“It’s a date.”