Chapter Seven
Jordy
I ’m halfway to drunk. Off three beers. Fuck. I scrub my palm down over my face, trying and failing to hear what Cal is saying. Apparently he and Trey are having the time of their lives off at college. Those two idiots haven’t grown up at all, fucking everything that moves.
Roan, on the other hand…
His smile is serene as his fingers run through Hollis’s hair. Hollis, who’s sitting at his feet and nursing a beer, is happy as a lark. Husbands. What the fuck. I’m not a homophobe, I just don’t understand what Roan ever saw in the rat. He’s a total prissy dork. I mean…to totally go from manwhore who fucks every chick at our school to full-on gay was hard to comprehend. Yet, here we are. Hollis not only hooked my best friend, but he got him to put a ring on it.
And they’re so fucking happy.
I’m envious of them, even if I don’t understand it.
“No offense, Hollis,” Cal says, his voice slurring slightly, “but I’d totally fuck your sister.”
Hollis groans. “Have fun in prison.”
“Say hi to Dad,” Roan chimes in.
The reminder that she’s seventeen, like Roux, is a kick to the balls. What was I thinking? I almost fucked Roux Hirsch in the goddamn river. Holy shit.
“What about Tara or Tayla or whatever the fuck that girl’s name is? She’s eighteen now,” Trey offers. “You could keep your asshole safe.”
Cal snorts. “Was your asshole safe in prison, Jordy?”
“Why don’t you grab a bottle of water?” Roan grits out. “You’re being more than your usual dickhead self.”
“Naw,” I mutter. “It’s fine. If we don’t joke about it, who the fuck are we? Certainly not Hornets.” I down the rest of my beer. “Nobody came after my ass because I’d beat the fuck out of them. And your dad had my back.”
Roan’s brows furl, but I can tell he’s relieved to know Jace was looking after me.
“Do you guys ever feel like losers still partying here with all these goddamn kids?” Trey asks, tossing his empty beer bottle at some douchebag near the fire.
“We’re only here to keep an eye on shit,” Roan reminds him. “Roux and Charlotte seem to like hanging out with these assholes. And some of these assholes think it’s okay to deal like this is their goddamn property. All we’re doing is reminding them they don’t run this town, we do.”
Everyone sobers at that statement.
“Is that baby Cuntingham?” I ask, nodding my head to the fire. “He’s fuckin’ little mouse?”
Hollis groans. “She’s my sister. I’d rather not imagine her fucking anyone if that’s all right with you.”
“Ryan Cuntingham almost got his ass kicked a while back,” Cal says with a laugh. “He’s kept in line since.”
“Yeah? What for?” I tear my gaze from Cuntingham by the fire to my best friend.
“For being a dick,” Roan says with a shrug.
“Or, he was sending a message back to his older brother,” Trey teases like he’s a goddamn gossipy girl. Fuck, I’ve missed these guys.
“What sort of message?” I ask.
Roan drains the rest of his beer and tosses it toward the fire. “Tyler wants to fuck my husband.”
“Oh my God,” Hollis groans. “Seriously? This again? He was being nice. He doesn’t want to fuck me.”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, man,” Roan grumbles in annoyance. “I’ll lay his ass out if he even thinks about acting on his fantasies.”
“He can’t have me, rat lover.” Hollis twists to look up at Roan. “I’m yours.”
They kiss and I watch them. Again, envious. Not because I want to dick down some dude, but because I want to have that connection with someone.
A giggle pierces the night air.
Her giggle.
My dick twitches at the memory of Roux wrapped around me, kissing my lips. Fuck. That took self-control not to shove my trunks down and claim her in that river. I would’ve been so fucked, though. Not only is she underage, but she’s Roux. Little fuckin’ Hornet. So untouchable it’s not even funny.
“You living at home?” Trey asks me.
I cringe as I think about the way my mom shook her head when I stood on the porch. No. She turned me away after she tossed a bag of my belongings at me. It was only fair when I did the same to her and Dad when they tried to visit me. That fucking hurt, but I was determined not to have to beg Juno for a place to stay. I was going to figure it out on my own, but Roan and Hollis wouldn’t have any of it.
“Nah, he’s gonna stay with us until he gets on his feet,” Roan says. “He’s family.”
If he only knew how close I got to fucking said family, he’d murder me.
“What?”
The voice carries over the partygoers’ laughter, waking my cock much to my disgust. Roux traipses up the porch steps of the cabin where we’re all spread out in lawn chairs. She crosses her arms over her chest, only serving to push her perky tits up, making them threaten to spill from her sundress. I shamelessly check her tits out before tearing my gaze away. Maybe I ought to find that black-haired skank everyone was joking about earlier.
“Jordy’s gonna take the couch,” Roan reveals. “That okay with you?”
Her fiery glare burns into me. “What does it matter? It sounds like it’s already a done deal.”
“It matters,” I bark out. “If you don’t want me there, I’ll find another place to stay.”
She walks over to me, scowling. “Whatever. I don’t care.”
Liar.
“Hey, Roux-Roux,” a deep voice calls out. “A bunch of us are heading over to Zac’s. You wanna come hang with us?”
I’m out of my chair before I can think better of it, my hands fisted and ready to pummel Kayden Wheelhouse. “Get the fuck out of here.”
His boyish grin fades as he glares back at me. “What the hell, man?”
Roux grips my arm, her nails digging into my flesh. “Stop.”
Kayden’s eyes rake down to where she touches me, fury flaring in his eyes. I flash him a smug grin. One that says, “Your girlfriend’s pussy was on my dick hours ago.” He hears the unspoken message loud and clear.
“Roux. Can we talk a second?” he hisses, his body thrumming with barely contained rage.
She releases my arm and pats my chest. “Just stop, Jordy.”
I watch her as she walks down the steps toward her secret boyfriend. The same boyfriend I’m going to fucking destroy. They can pretend all they want, but everyone knows they’re together. He crowds her like he can claim her just by standing near her.
She’s not his.
Fire burns in my veins.
“I need a drink,” I grumble, never taking my eyes off them.
Roan is at my side, gripping my shoulder. “I thought part of your parole was you weren’t to drink.”
I shake him off. “You gonna tattle on me, bro?”
“Fuck off,” he grunts. “Let’s go see what we can find in the cabin.”
Several shots later and I’m halfway to plastered. I’m queasy and the world keeps spinning. Roan is nearly as fucked up as I am. We’re not always the best influence on each other. With his arm slung over my shoulders, we head back outside. Roux is still talking to Kayden. They seem to be having an argument. I laugh because it’s funny. I hope they break up so I don’t have to break his neck.
“They’re still together,” I blurt out. “Been together this whole time.”
“What the fuck?” Roan roars. “Fucking seriously?”
“Yep.”
Roan charges down the porch steps, rage fueling him forward. Because I can’t let my best friend get hurt, I storm after him. Kayden, the cocky bastard, lifts his shirt, showing off his piece.
That motherfucker.
Roan screeches to a halt, the reality of the situation sinking in. “You’re fucking carrying?”
Kayden lets his shirt drop back down and pats Roux on the ass. “See ya around, babe.”
Uncaring that this asshole has a fucking gun, I rush him, my fist swinging hard. I clock the motherfucker right in the jaw, knocking him the hell out. He slumps to the ground and his gun hits the dirt. I pick it up and charge through the woods and to the beach. With a grunt, I heave it as far into the river as I can. It splashes and I laugh.
“You’re such a dick,” Roux yells as she stumbles along the sand toward me. “I hate you!”
She’s beautiful tonight with her dark hair twisted messily on top of her head. Her glasses are perched on her nose and her features are screwed up into an angry expression. With each step, her tits bounce and her dress rides up her thighs. I’m so fucking horny for her. When she reaches me, she tries to slap me. I grip her wrist hard, twisting it behind her back. I grip her jaw with my other hand, forcing her to look up at me.
“You’re not allowed to hate me, Little Hornet.”
“I can do whatever the hell I want!”
I squeeze her face, making her lips pucker out. “Anything you want, honey, but not that.” I relax my grip and run my thumb over her plump bottom lip. “Now say you’re sorry.”
“Fuck you,” she snaps.
I sure fucking wish.
“You and Wheelhouse are through. Understood?”
“He’s my boyfriend. You can’t force me to break up with him.” Her amber eyes flash under the light of the moon.
I lean forward, enjoying the way her breath hitches at my nearness. “You don’t want him like you want me.”
“I can’t have you,” she whispers.
“You can’t,” I agree. “But that doesn’t make you want him any more. If anything, it makes you resent him.”
“You don’t know how I feel.” Her eyes well with tears. “You know nothing about me anymore.”
I release her and then gently brush a strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “I know you love Fruity Pebbles. And dumb chick flicks. I know your eyes turn dark copper when you’re worried. I also know your lips quirk up on the right side when you’re amused. I know you couldn’t care less about sports, but always cheered your brother on like it was your favorite thing to do. I know your favorite color is navy blue. I know you hate having to be tutored but are thankful for the opportunity. I know you write poems as therapy for all the fucked-up shit your mom put you through. I know—”
“Please stop,” she begs, tears racing down her cheeks. “I can’t take this.”
I pull her to my chest, hugging her and kissing her hair that smells like coconut with a hint of rum. “Okay, Little Hornet. Just know that time may have passed, but I still know you. The real you.”
She relaxes in my hold. “I’m so mad at you, but I’m glad you’re back.”
I stroke my fingertips up and down her spine, soothing her. Greedily, I inhale her scent and memorize the way she feels pressed against me. “I’m glad I’m back too.”
“You need to be careful,” Roux says, her hot breath tickling my chest through my T-shirt.
“Why’s that?”
“Kayden’s not some kid anymore.”
I bristle at her words. “Neither am I.”
“He carries a gun,” she says in frustration, pulling back to look up at me.
“Used to.” I smirk. “Now it’s sitting at the bottom of Horn River.”
Her nostrils flare. “And he’ll just get another one. But now you’ve put a target on your back. You don’t want to mess with him.”
“Are you afraid?” I demand, the fierce need to protect her consuming me.
“For you.”
“I can handle myself.”
“Your track record for that is really shitty,” she grumbles. “If I promise to stay away from him, will you do the same?”
“I can handle that.”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “Okay. I need to get back there and check on him.”
As she starts to walk away, I can’t stop myself from taking her hand and squeezing it. Her fiery eyes search mine out, silently questioning what sort of games I’m playing with her. Truth is, I don’t know. I can’t have her for myself because she’s too young and forbidden territory, but I want her anyway.
“What do you want?” she rasps out.
The only answer I have is her name. I tug her back toward me, my other hand seizing her hip. “Only one thing.”
“What is it?” Her head tilts up and her eyes flash with such vulnerability, my heart cracks down the middle.
“Something I can’t have.”
“Maybe you could have it.” Her whispered words set my soul on fire.
“I can’t.”
“Maybe…”
I lean forward, stealing a chaste, forbidden kiss. “I can’t. I won’t. Don’t make me. Please don’t make me.”
She tugs her hand away from mine and touches her lips I just pecked. “You worked your whole life to make sure no one hurt me.” She pulls her fingers from her lips and presses them to mine. “And yet here you are, hurting me more than anyone has in my entire life.”
Her words shred me.
“Roux…” I trail off, my voice husky with emotion.
“Good night, Jordy. I guess I’ll see you at home.”
This time, when she walks away, I let her. I watch her leave me with such an overwhelming longing inside my chest, I think I’ll suffocate.
I hurt her.
Worse than anyone.
I’m a fucking monster.