Chapter Four
Charlotte
H atred.
It burns into me hotter than a thousand suns.
And I deserve every scalding degree of it.
That’s why, rather than looking away from Cal’s furious green eyes that seem to glow, I stare straight into them. I hope I can convey with a look how sorry I am. How badly I wish I could fix it. I expect him to say something—anything—but he remains quiet, which is quite a feat for him. His nostrils flare like a bull ready to charge and his jaw clenches over and over.
“How are you feeling?” Hollis asks as he approaches with Sebban clinging to him like a little monkey.
Cal grimaces, as though he’s disgusted that Hollis would even care. I’m forced to look away from him and at my brother.
“I’m fine,” I assure him with one of my signature, fake cheerleader smiles.
A snort escapes Cal. Out of everyone, I know he takes what happened with Trey the hardest aside from me. They were best friends. Ever since I’ve known them, Trey and Cal have been joined at the hip. Twins of terror. They lived to wreak general havoc with authority and then fall into bed with whichever girl had the nicest, most accessible tits. Total manwhores and unapologetic about it.
They were happy, though.
Until I put a stop to that.
“Char,” Hollis says, his soft words cutting through the fog of my inner thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“I asked if you’d talked to Dad.”
“Not in a couple of days. He flew out to California.”
“For work?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say.”
He gives me a nod, leans in, and kisses the top of my head. It means a lot to me that Hollis has been reaching out to me. Making me not feel so alone. Roan, of all people, should hate me for what I did to one of his best friends. It would give Hollis every right to hate me too. Instead, Hollis and Roan have been concerned for me. Of course, that makes me hate myself a little more. I don’t deserve their kindness.
Hollis steps away to set Sebban at the table where Roan sets down a plate for him. My heart melts a little seeing them be daddies. It makes me realize how much I’ve missed.
Because of him.
Just thinking of Ryan has me shuddering.
While everyone heads into the kitchen to make their plates, I escape to the bathroom, needing a minute to breathe. I close the door behind me and avoid the mirror. No matter how many times I put on makeup or fix my hair, I can’t help but feel like a fraud. Like I’m hiding all my horrible problems that should be written in plain view for all to see as a warning.
My eyes fill with tears as the self-loathing threatens to swallow me whole. Before I know it, I’m digging around in the cabinets on a hunt for something to take the edge off. I pick up a bottle of leftover Percocets from when Hollis had his wisdom teeth removed last year. From the looks of it, he only took three, so he won’t even notice if one is missing.
I open the bottle and turn it over into my palm. Five rattle out and into my hand. There are still plenty in the bottle. Five won’t be missed. Quickly, I twist the cap back on and toss it into the cabinet. I’m about to take one when someone knocks on the door, making me shriek in surprise.
The door pushes open and I realize in my haste to hunt down medicine, I didn’t lock the door. Cal steps inside, a murderous expression on his face. I back up, nearly stumbling over my own feet. I hold the fistful of pills in my hand and grip the counter for support with my other.
“What?” I choke out, my heart leaping in my chest.
His lip curls up. “It’s dinner time.” He takes a step forward, motioning at my hand. “What do you have there?”
“Nothing,” I lie. With every thunderous beat of my heart, I feel like I’m going to pass out. “I’ll be right out.”
He holds out his massive hand, a no-nonsense glare on his handsome face. “Give it to me. You look guilty as fuck.”
Lifting my chin, I feign a fierce expression. “I don’t have anything.”
“I heard the sounds,” he grinds out. “Give them to me and I won’t tell them.”
Defeated, I drop the Percocets into his hand. Before I can retreat, his massive hand encircles my wrist, trapping me.
“Planning to get fucked up again?” he sneers, his disgust for me cloying the air around us. “Who’ll be a casualty this time? My other best friend? His son?”
I recoil at his harsh words, snatching my hand back. Unlike Ryan would have, Cal lets me go without a fight.
“Are you going to tell them?” I ask, my bottom lip trembling.
He doesn’t answer as he opens the cabinet to replace the pills. Once he has them safely stowed away, he pockets the entire bottle.
“Would it change anything if I did?” he asks. “You’ll just find more ways to get this crap and they’ll keep fucking babying you. Nah, I’ll keep this shit to myself.”
I bow my head, ashamed but grateful he isn’t going to rat me out. My limp blond hair curtains around my face.
“I won’t let you get away with this,” Cal utters, his tone cold and cruel. “You should be punished for what you did. Jail. Fines. Something. Whose dick did you have to suck to get out of all that trouble? Oh, that’s right, your dad did all the dick sucking.”
His words chase away the despondency, igniting the path to my heart with fire. I’ve felt so dead inside for so long, I’m almost shaken with the intense emotion. My hand rears back and I slap his cruelly handsome smirk right off his face.
As soon as I’ve done it, I freeze, letting reality seep back in. I hit him. Cal Hutton. Town’s lawless bad boy. A Horn River Hornet. My new nemesis.
He crowds my space, backing me up until I nearly fall into the toilet. I have nowhere to grab except the front of his shirt. His heart pounds hard against my knuckles. He glowers at me, the heat of his hate burning me.
“Don’t talk about my dad,” I whisper. “You can talk about me, but not my dad.”
His green eyes narrow as he inspects me up close. “A daddy’s girl. Noted.” A dark chuckle escapes him. “So it must have been all you then, huh? Did you crawl out of Ryan’s bed and into his daddy’s?” His eyes darken when I flinch. “Careful, blondie. He’s a dirty cop. Does your daddy know his perfect little girl likes to get filthy with old men?”
“Why are you doing this?” I hiss, harnessing my anger, because he’s not leaving my dad out of this like I asked him to.
“Because you deserve it,” he says simply, gripping my wrist to pull my hand off his shirt as he steps back. “You deserve so much more than anyone will ever give you.”
His words are spoken softly and gently.
A caress.
If we were lovers, I’d hold his words to my heart and never forget them.
But he doesn’t mean to be sweet. His words are cold hate. Meant to stab and sting and destroy.
Cal reaches forward, tugging almost playfully at a strand of my hair. “I’m going to give it to you,” he vows. “I’ll make your life a living hell until I get my best friend back.”
I swat away his hand, hating that yet another man plays with my hair like it belongs to him. Images of Ryan’s fingers twisted in my hair and tugging painfully come to mind. A shudder ripples through me at the reminder.
“Hollis won’t let you hurt me,” I whisper.
“I’m not scared of the rat.”
I fling out words I know will hurt. “Roan won’t either.”
His green eyes flare with anger as he gently grips my chin. “Guess I’ll have to take care of you in secret, Rapunzel.”
Again, his words would sound sweet to anyone else, but he’s using them as a warning.
“My daddy—”
“Your daddy can get on his knees and suck my dick for all I care,” he grinds out. “You’re going to pay for this one way or another, little girl. I’ll make sure of it. I’d do anything for T. Even getting motherfucking revenge when he can’t.”
With those words, he turns on his heel and storms out.
It isn’t until he’s gone that I realize while arguing with him, I’d rekindled some of my old spark that Ryan had long ago snuffed out. Found some of my backbone that had been crushed beneath his shoe.
Cal may think I’m some weak daddy’s girl, but he’s wrong.
Life gave me a second chance to do better, and like a fiery phoenix rising from the ashes of her charred mistakes, I will do just that.
Rise.
My family is good at pretending. Hollis is just like Mom in that aspect. He puts on a smile, engages everyone in conversation, and makes you feel like you matter and are loved. I harbored a lot of resentment when Hollis came out gay and it set off ripple effects that ultimately destroyed my family. But we moved here, found friends, and eventually Dad moved out here too. The beef between Hollis and me went away. Even after Ryan, Hollis has tried to protect me. I’ll always be grateful for his efforts.
“You’re going to get wrinkles,” Penny sasses to Cal. “All that frowning. You have bags under your eyes too. How old are you again?”
He flips her off. Sebban tries to mimic him much to Hollis’s horror.
My family might be able to pretend, myself and Dad included, but not Penny. Penny just releases her bold thoughts into the wild the moment they form inside her head.
“Be nice,” Hollis warns.
“He’s too old to be bagging high schoolers,” Roan says with a snort. “You still with that skank?”
“Tracey?” Hollis asks.
“She’s eighteen and graduated now. Her name is Tina,” Cal offers. “I think.”
“I’m pretty sure her name’s Tonya,” Roan replies, laughing. “Or Tanya.” Then, to me, Roan asks, “What’s your friend’s name? The black-haired girl my sister hates? Always at Campfire Chaos?”
“Tarrin.” I make a sour face. “And she’s not my friend.”
Cal’s green eyes light up, meanness shining in them. “I heard she got on her knees for that one cop. The dirty one. What’s his name again? I bet her daddy was so embarrassed that his daughter’s a slut.”
“Slut!” Sebban cries out.
Penny cackles, Roan smothers a laugh with his fist, and Hollis gripes Cal out for being a bad influence. Meanwhile, I stay frozen, trying not to let his words hurt me. He’s not talking about Tarrin, he’s talking about me.
“She’s not sleeping with Michael,” I say with a huff.
“Since when do you defend Tarrin?” Penny asks, shock written all over her face. “She told everyone at school you slept with Mr. Ewing.”
Cal drops his fork onto his plate with a clatter. “You slept with Wes?”
“Who?” I frown at his words as I realize he’s talking about Mr. Ewing, a freaking English teacher at my school. “What? N-No.”
“Better not have,” Cal grumbles, his voice rumbling with anger.
Okay.
Hollis shakes his head in frustration. “Can we please avoid sex talk and profanity?”
“Sex! Sex!” Sebban parrots, grinning at Hollis. He’s so cute with spaghetti sauce all over his little face and in his hair. His words…not so much.
Everyone laughs at the cute little boy, but Cal and I are the first to go back to frowning. He scowls my way, a furious glint with malicious intent in his eyes.
“Mom said they’re hiring lenders at the bank,” Hollis tells Cal. “I know you haven’t settled on anything yet, but with your degree, you could.”
Cal shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Dad is hiring too,” Penny offers.
I can’t look at Cal. If he went to work with my dad, I would die. And if I give off any vibes that I don’t want that, he’d probably do it just to spite me. Part of my punishment and all.
“We could always use more firefighters,” Roan says. “Or you could work at the restaurant with Roux and Jordy.”
“Roux works there?” I ask, hating that I know so little about my best friend.
“She’s a waitress,” Roan explains. “Just started. She sucks. Don’t tell her I said that.”
Everyone laughs again, but not me.
They chat easily, bouncing from subject to subject, but I’m still stuck on the fact I not only abandoned my best friend, but I was mean to her. Because of Ryan. I never stood up to him. Just let him smash me harder and harder under his thumb.
I hate everything that happened with the baby and Trey, but had that wreck not happened, I’d still be under Ryan’s horrible spell. At least now, I’m in the protective care of my parents and family. Ryan hasn’t tried to message me or stop by. And while that’s a relief, it’s also worrying. He doesn’t just give up.
“I need to get going,” Cal says, rising from the table where we’re all squished around. “I told Dad I’d drive to all the campsites in the morning to make sure they’re ready for Memorial Day.”
“Hey,” Hollis pipes up. “Can you run these two home on your way? I need to give this squirt a bath.”
“Yeah, man,” Cal agrees, his hard eyes darting toward mine. “I’ll take care of your little sister.”
“Get a room,” Penny says, faux gagging.
Cal flinches and I recoil. As if. Cal may be hot—tall, muscular, face like a freaking model—but he’s an asshole who wants to make me pay. No room necessary. Perhaps a restraining order instead.
But that would mean seeing Michael and I’m not anywhere close to being in the mood to deal with Ryan’s dad.
“Let’s go, brats,” Cal barks out. “Roan, Hollis. Thanks for dinner. Bye, little shithead,” he says to Sebban.
Before Sebban can repeat it, Hollis asks Sebban if he wants some ice cream for dessert. Roan smirks, clearly enjoying the banter.
I tell everyone a quick goodbye, and then I bolt downstairs, waiting by Cal’s giant, obnoxious truck. If I hadn’t overheard girls gushing over Cal’s big dick on a few occasions at Campfire Chaos, I’d agree with Penny that he’s compensating for a tiny penis. He’s not, though. Apparently he chooses to drive this douchebag mobile because he likes it.
“Adults in the front, kids in the back,” Cal barks out once he and Penny reach the truck.
“Dude,” Penny complains. “I just turned seventeen last month!”
Penny and I may be Irish Twins since we were born less than twelve months apart, but I’ve always loved playing the older sister role, even if it wasn’t by much. I’ll turn eighteen soon and will once again be different digits than her. I’m guessing Cal wants me in the back, far from his sight, no matter how old I am, though.
“Not you,” he says in a low tone, stopping me. “You can sit up front like the adult I wish you were.”
Not so we can legally fuck, but so I can go to jail for what I did.
“Gross,” Penny grumbles. “So help me, Hutton, if I have to listen to you fuck my sister, I will stab you in the throat.”
I ignore his laughter. He clearly finds the idea of sleeping with me so far off it’s hilarious. Joke’s on him, though, because I wouldn’t touch his diseased dick with a ten-foot pole.
We climb into the truck—literally—and I hate the way it smells. Like him. Woodsy and earthy and masculine. It feels too intimate being in his truck. For as long as I’ve known Cal, I’ve never ridden with him anywhere. The block from Hollis’s house to ours feels like an eternity. As soon as he pulls into the yard, past the driveway and up to the porch, Penny starts cackling.
“Aunt Karen is going to kill you if you leave tire marks in her yard.” She leaps out of the truck.
“Your aunt loves me. Ask her. We’re practically besties,” Cal retorts, earning a laugh from Penny as she bounds inside the house.
Before I can get my door open, a strong hand settles on my jean-clad thigh, stopping me. I hate how his touch scorches my skin. As though the devil lives under the guise of a cute, older guy.
“We’re not over,” Cal states. “I have the entire summer to deal with you.”
I smack his hand off my thigh. “Don’t touch me.”
“I’ll touch you if I want to,” he growls but pulls his hand back. “I’ll touch you because you tried to kill Trey.”
Pain lances through me, shredding my heart. “I didn’t try to kill him.”
“If he dies…” he trails off, scrubbing a palm over his tired features. “He can’t die.”
His torment is suffocating. I ache to reach over and take his hand so I can squeeze it. Assure him that Trey will pull through. That I’m sorry for what I did. If I could ease his pain, I would.
I can’t.
What’s done is done and he hates me for it.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out, flinging open the door.
In my haste to get out, I slip off the running board, landing hard on my knee. I manage to bite my tongue in the process. Metallic tasting blood floods over my tongue and I spit it out.
“Oh no,” Cal says in a cold, flat tone. “You got hurt.”
His feet come into view as he grabs my shoulders, hauling me to my feet. Instead of letting me go, his eyes bore into mine. Then, he reaches up with his thumb, smearing some blood left on my bottom lip.
“Remember what I said.” His voice is softer now, almost a gentle caress. “I will make your life fucking hell until my boy wakes up.”
How can his words be delivered so sweetly but be so cruel?
“What if he never wakes up?” I ask, tearing up. The thought of him in a coma until he dies is too much to bear.
“Then it looks like you’re stuck with me forever.”
With those words practically spat at me, he abandons me to climb back in his big-ass truck. I manage to get the door shut before he hauls ass out of here, kicking up hunks of grass in our yard.
Aunt Karen is going to kill him.
Maybe then I’ll have a reprieve.
I don’t deserve one.
I deserve every second of his wrath.