Chapter Fourteen
Charlotte
I gently rap on the door, steeling my spine. I can do this. I need to do this. When I’m granted permission to enter, I suck in a sharp breath before pushing into the room.
The sounds hit me first.
Rhythmic and steady.
A promise to keep forcing life through a body that craves death.
The smells hit me next.
Pungent and sterile.
It’s the sight that hits me last.
Lifeless and empty.
A sob catches in my throat as I approach Trey’s bed. He’s hooked to all kinds of machines that breathe for him. My heart shatters into a million pieces. The last time I saw him, his head was crushed in. I was sure he was dead. They’ve since repaired his wounds, but the scars will be there until the day he does die. Jagged and uneven. Ugly.
I did this to him.
With a shaking hand, I grab onto his warm one. Still alive. But is he? Does the old Trey live deep inside or were they only able to preserve his broken body?
“I’m so sorry,” I choke out. “My God, Trey. I am so sorry.”
A chair creaks and then shuffling footsteps approach. I get a whiff of peppermint before a gentle hand touches my back.
“Trey and I used to fight all the time,” the elderly woman says. “Over a lot of things. His behavior at school. His mouthy attitude. His deviant ways when he’d be around those boys he calls Hornets.” She chuckles. “But the thing we fought most over was sleep.”
I turn to look down at the old woman. She’s obviously Trey’s grandma Rose. I’ve heard them talk about her over the years, but never formally met her.
“Sleep?” I rasp out, confusion in my voice.
“That boy loved to sleep in. Couldn’t keep a job if it was a morning one because he’d always be late. Always missed the bus and couldn’t get to school on time.” She sighs. “And yet here we are again. Me telling his big ass to get up every day and him not listening.”
“Rose, I—”
“I heard you, honey. You’re sorry. How many times are you going to say it? You think we don’t know how sorry you are?”
I swallow hard, blinking back tears. I’m emotional today. Since the night before last with everything that went down with Ryan, I’ve been wrecked. Yesterday, after school, I made Penny take me straight home. I stayed in bed until Mom brought me supper. She ended up sleeping next to me, holding me all night. I managed to make it through another school day, this one without even speaking to Cal, who was being overly broody, and asked Penny to drop me off at the hospital after school while she and Sonya played basketball at the park again.
I just needed to see him.
To face the consequences of my actions.
“I don’t know how to fix it,” I whisper. “I just want to fix it.”
“Have you started with yourself?”
I turn to look down at her. There’s no hate or anger in her expression. Only peace. Her features are strikingly similar to Sonya’s. She must have looked a lot like her as a young woman.
“I’m trying,” I admit. “I got help. Therapy. Rehab. I’m back in school, trying to do right by my life. It’s just…I want to fix this. Him.”
She gives me a grim smile. “Unfortunately, darlin’, this isn’t your battle anymore. It’s Trey’s. If he wants out of this state, he’ll figure out a way to do it. If he doesn’t, that’s God’s will. I’ll be by his side either way. He’s loved and cared for. That’s all that matters.”
“He wouldn’t be fighting this battle had I not gotten in that car,” I explain, wanting her wrath. Wanting her to lash out at me. “He’s like this because of me. Sure, it’s his battle now, but I forced him into it.”
Rather than getting angry, she shrugs. “You did. He’s here. Nothing changes the past. All you can do is get a handle on the present and secure a better future.”
“It’s not fair, though,” I argue, tears welling. “It should have been me.”
“It should have,” a cold, baritone voice agrees from the doorway.
“Stop that nonsense, Calvin,” Rose snaps. “You’re letting your anger change you into someone you’re not.”
I chance a look at him. Of course he’s hot, just like he was this morning in class, but his glare is icy. I shiver under his intense scrutiny. His jaw works hard with fury, but he keeps back the words he wants to say. Just barely. Probably cracking a few teeth trying to keep them in for Rose’s benefit.
“Who brought you here?” Cal demands. “Wes?”
“Lord, this boy is trying my patience,” Rose grumbles at his outburst.
I frown in confusion. “My teacher? Why would he bring me here?”
Cal’s nostrils flare as he approaches, violence in his eyes. But unlike with Ryan, this isn’t directed at me. Sure, he’s pissed I’m here, but it’s something else. He stops just a foot away from me.
“He’s accommodating like that,” he growls. “Penny?”
“Not that I have to explain anything to you, but yes.” Irritation chases away my remorse as I face off with him. “If you’ll excuse me, I was just leaving.”
“And how are you going to get home?” he demands, ignoring Rose’s bitching at him to stop being an asshole.
“Wait for Penny. Call Hollis. Walk. Hitchhike. What’s it matter to you? You’re not my keeper, Mr. Hutton .”
Rose laughs. “You tell him, girl.”
The fire bleeds from his expression as he fights a smirk. I’m mad at him, but something has shifted and he’s amused. It annoys me, but I’m no longer ready to punch him in the throat.
“What?”
“You’re right,” he agrees with a one-shouldered shrug. “You have claws.”
“I’m not afraid to use them.”
“I’ve seen your handiwork.” He winks at me. “Let’s go. I’ll give you a ride.”
When I glance at Rose, her eyes are wide with surprise, but she’s smiling. “Come visit again sometime, sweetheart, and we’ll grab coffee or a bite to eat afterward.”
“Really?”
She pushes Cal out of the way to take my hands, squeezing them. “I like you.”
A blush creeps up my cheeks. It’s not that I’m not used to parents or grandparents liking me. I’m a good girl, aside from that year of horror. Popular. Well-liked. I just don’t expect to get that from Rose. Not after what I’ve done to her grandson.
“I’d like that,” I murmur. “I really would.”
She brings my hand to her mouth and kisses it, reminding me of the affectionate way Sonya is. I’d never noticed with Trey, but I wonder if he’s the same as them.
“Good,” she says. “It’s a date. Now go cheer up my other boy.”
Cal makes a great show of rolling his eyes, clearly every bit the little boy she still sees him as despite his massive presence.
I pull my hands from hers, take one last long look at Trey, and then exit the hospital room. We’re quiet as Cal falls in step beside me. It isn’t until we reach his truck and he opens the passenger side door for me that he speaks again.
“Did you ask your mom about Campfire Chaos?”
“We didn’t exactly talk about it,” I admit, studying his handsome face. “Are you okay? You seem off today. We didn’t speak in class this morning…” I trail off when his features twist cruelly.
“I’m not okay, loser,” he spits out. “I have to deal with you when I’d rather be up there with T.”
I straighten my spine and lift my chin. “No one asked you to take me home. And that doesn’t explain this morning.”
“Just pissy,” he grunts. “Get in. I have papers to grade. Kids to fail. Parents to threaten. You know, usual teacher stuff.”
“You’re really not going to tell me,” I hiss in disbelief.
“Nope. Get in before I throw your ass in.”
“Get in before I throw your ass in,” Ryan bellows, yanking on my hair.
“Please, baby, stop,” I beg. “You’re hurting me.”
“No,” he grinds out. “ This is hurting you.”
His hand slaps my face hard, causing me to see stars. I burst into tears at the sudden onslaught of pain. There’s no remorse in his glare. Only cruelty.
“Charlie girl, look at me.”
I blink away my daze, shuddering at the horrid memory. Cal’s no longer glaring daggers at me. No, his green eyes have softened with worry. His hands are gentle as he cups both of my cheeks.
“What happened?” he demands.
“I just…what you said…” I swallow down a ball of emotion. “It reminded me of him. That night.”
His green eyes crackle with intensity as he swipes away a rogue tear from my cheek with his thumb. “Listen to me carefully,” he rumbles. “I am not like that sonofabitch. Sure, I’m a bossy asshole and I’m so pissed at you, I see red. But I would never ever in a million fucking years hurt you the way he’s done.”
“But you said—”
“I dish out what you can handle because Hornets aren’t made of soft stuff. No, we’re poked and provoked until we’re hard as nails. You’re going to be sharp and steely because you’re a Hornet now too, remember?”
His words wash over me like a calming breeze.
“I wasn’t always this scared,” I tell him, needing him to know I’m more than what Ryan reduced me to.
He studies my face up close. I crave to run my fingertips along his scruffy jaw. To loosen the knot of the tie he still wears. I want to kiss the strong column of muscle along his throat.
“Come to Campfire Chaos.” His green eyes flash with need that has my entire body trembling. “It’ll be fun.”
“You just want to punish me,” I remind him, but no longer afraid.
His grin stretches across his handsome face, wolfish and devious. “I do, English. But my kind of punishment is the kind you’ll enjoy.”
I arch a brow. “Is that so? In case you didn’t notice, I’m not mentally equipped for any more psychological or physical torment in this lifetime.”
He rubs his thumb—still wet from my tear—across my bottom lip, tugging it aside and exposing my teeth. “What about sexual torment?” he taunts. “Are you mentally equipped for that?”
With Ryan, fuck no.
With Cal…
Warmth spreads down my spine and pools in my pelvis. I can’t stop myself from gripping his tie, drawing him nearer to me.
“What would that entail?” I whisper against his lips.
“A safe word, for one,” he growls, stepping closer so that his body is flush with mine. One of his hands leaves my face to cup my ass through my jeans. “Probably a lot of orgasm denial too.”
“Cruel bastard,” I tease.
“I might even spank this.” His cock jolts against my stomach when he squeezes my ass. “I always wanted to spank a cheerleader.”
I scoff. “Ex-cheerleader.”
“Whatever, you’re still hot.”
A smile creeps across my face. “I am?”
“Stop fishing for compliments, Charlie girl. You already have a big enough head.”
At this, I laugh. “I do not.”
“Don’t worry, mine’s big too.” He rotates his hips, letting me feel just how big that head is.
“What’s with the whole Charlie girl thing anyway?”
His lips press together as though he doesn’t want to explain. After a huff, he rattles out something that feels like a lie. “Sounds nicer than loser, loser .”
Hmmm.
“Since when are you nice, Cal?”
A growl rumbles in his throat. “I told you you’re only allowed to call me Cal if you’re riding on my dick.”
“There’s the mean boy I know,” I tease. “And maybe I was about to go for that ride.”
His lips crash to mine—hot and violently. It’s a good kind of cruelty, though. A vicious lashing of his tongue against mine, claiming and addictive. I can’t hide the moan that escapes me. He tastes sinful and heavenly all at once. A dichotomy of good and evil. A devilish hero. My moan is eager and drips with desperation. After all the horrors I’ve faced in the boyfriend department, it’s nice to be consumed with such fiery want. Cal, ever the bad boy player, slides his hand up under the hem of my shirt, grazing the skin on my lower back with his fingertips. I suck in a sharp breath. He pulls from our kiss, his glowing green eyes pinning me in place.
“Safe word.”
“I don’t need a safe—”
“Fucking hell, Charlotte. Just give me a safe word. You make me crazy, goddammit, and I need a leash. I need something for you to yank on when I lose control with you.”
It’s spoken like a threat, but alights every single one of my nerve endings with need.
“Chaos.”
He smirks, his lips quirking up on one side. “I’m still going to make your life a living hell. This thing between us is just a part of that deal.”
The deal I made with the devil?
“But you’re a Hornet now,” he says with a deviant grin that melts my insides. “And you’ll like every single filthy second of it.”
I should be afraid of what someone like Cal Hutton has to offer a girl like me. He’s older and meaner. A hot playboy who never commits. Danger lurks behind his amused eyes. The warning signs are there. They were with Ryan.
Apparently I have a type.
I swallow down my fears and lift my chin. “Don’t let me down.”
His gaze darkens. “I’m not like him.”
“I hope not.”
“What would you do if I was?” he demands, his green eyes going wild and darting from my eyes to my lips. “Would you take it like you did with him? Would you let me ruin your life? Would you let me shred that heart of yours and destroy your mind?”
Each whip of his words isn’t meant to hurt. It’s meant to stoke the fire inside me.
“Chaos,” I clip out the safe word, testing it on my tongue.
“Is this you running from a conversation? Telling me your limits?” His eyes search mine, an unreadable glint in them. “Or is this a promise of the devastation of your claws?”
“Only time will tell, Cal ,” I murmur, gripping his hard cock between us over his jeans. “Now take me home so you can ask my mother about Friday. You want to punish me, then you’re going to have to earn it the hard way.”
His lips curve into a villainous smile. “I’ll earn every goddamn stripe, Charlie girl.”
He grips my hips and easily tosses me into his truck. Rather than feeling railroaded or manhandled, it makes me feel something else. Safe and cared for.
Cal Hutton is going to destroy me. I can feel it.
It makes me a certain kind of crazy to crave every painful second.