Chapter Twenty
Charlotte
N umb.
For so long, I’ve been numb.
And then the night of the accident changed it all. I was torn from the arms of the monster and given a second chance. Since, everything has become crystal clear. I can feel. I’d spent so long numbing my emotions, that I now feel them with twice the intensity.
It’s refreshing.
I see everything with new eyes.
As everyone sits in a circle, eating the burgers Cal’s dad, David, made, I can’t help but drink it all in, greedy for the simple ease of it all. Everyone is laughing and happy. Roux is adorable with her cute pregnant belly and the way Jordy dotes on her. I’m upset we lost a year, but I’m incredibly thankful in that time she found him. Seeing my brother be a dad and a husband is something I’d never cared about. Yet, the genuine smile that never leaves his face makes me smile too. Even seeing Penny lighten up and actually have a friend is nice. Sonya is sassy and funny. Somehow, they connect in a way Roux and I were able to despite our completely opposite personalities.
I sneak a glance over at Cal. Roan is kicked back beside him, with Sebban in his lap as he eats Cheetos, engaging him in a conversation. When he’s with his Hornets, Cal is a king. Not a cruel one. The kind who laughs and smiles, gifting his royal subjects with his kindness. I’ve seen girls all but fall to their knees, just begging to see his amused eyes and smile.
I could be jealous of all those past girls, but I’m not.
I see the real him.
The angry, hurt, broken man behind the playful facade.
I know the real him, because I made him.
Pain aches through me knowing I’ve created the creature that lurks within, wanting to lash out and hunt for vengeance. I also feel a sense of protectiveness over that part of him. As though the beast I helped make needs me to stroke him and promise it’ll all be okay. Like maybe I’m the only one who can.
As though I’ve summoned the beast with my thoughts alone, Cal’s green eyes slice right to me, cutting me open to reveal my innermost ponderings. The playful king’s features darken only for me. He keeps up with his conversation, laughing when appropriate, but keeps me trapped in his lair of despair with him. The urge to crawl over to him and into his lap is strong. It’d be a horrible thing to do in front of his family, but I possess the urge to anyway.
“I’m going swimming,” Cal states, his voice thick with warning. He’s a shark inviting a minnow to play in the water with him. “Anyone coming?”
I wait until Jordy and Roan stand up to join him before also agreeing.
“I’ll go.” I tear my eyes from Cal’s hungry, approving gaze to look at the other girls. “You guys coming?”
Roux is locked in conversation with Cal’s parents, but Sonya and Penny nod. Hollis takes Sebban’s hand once he has his lifejacket on, and they follow along.
The water is cool, the promise of fall nipping at my toes with each step I take into the rushing river. It’s not until I’m waist deep that I sense his presence. The hairs on my arms stand on end and my nipples perk. I gnaw on my bottom lip, staring straight ahead to the other side of the river, trying to keep from leaping into his arms.
His hand takes mine as he walks deeper into the water. Following a shark into the deep end sounds like a terrible idea, but the prospect of his teeth excites me. He turns around when the water is just under my breasts, stopping from going too deep. I’m disappointed when he releases my hand. His eyes, however, have a hold on me. Latched onto my nipples that strain through the brown and gold fabric.
Penny and Sonya linger near Hollis and Roan as they all play with Sebban in the shallow waters. Jordy wades out by Cal and me. He’s a shark too. Thankfully, his eyes never stay too far from wherever Roux is.
“Roan tell you his old man got out?” Jordy asks Cal.
“Yeah. Seems pretty pissed about it.”
I perk up, listening in on their conversation. Roux didn’t tell me her dad was out of prison. We hadn’t exactly had a free moment to talk either, though.
“Jace is a good guy,” Jordy tells Cal. “I know he fucked up when they were younger, but if it weren’t for him, I might have died in the pen.”
His words make me shiver. Jordy gave up his freedom to protect Roux and Roan. It was incredibly stupid, but also selfless. His loyalty to them will always be his best quality. Jordy Martin may be the most unhinged, scary Hornet, but I think he might love the hardest. Roux absolutely deserves that kind of love after the hellish life she and Roan went through.
“I hope he doesn’t fuck it up,” Cal agrees.
When Roux stands up from her chair, her stomach poking out as she stretches, Jordy slices through the water like the shark he is, eyes locked on his target. I’m left alone with Cal.
A strong arm encircles my waist, pulling me to his chest. I suck in a sharp, surprised breath. Hot lips find the side of my neck, gently kissing the flesh there. The cold water creeps up over my chest and to my chin as he wades deeper. My feet lash at the water now that I’m unable to stand.
“I’ve got you,” he rumbles. “Stop moving, English.”
I relax in his hold. His other hand that’s not holding me to him splays over my naked stomach, teasing me with his fingertips.
“This swimsuit should be illegal.” His growled words make me shiver. “Having to stare at you with a fucking boner in front of my parents is cruel.”
I grin, loving that I had that effect on him. “You hid it well with your plate.”
“Barely.” He slides his hand lower, letting one of his fingers slip beneath the edge of my bikini bottoms. “I can’t hide it now.”
His dick presses into my ass, resting along the crack, warning me of his size and girth.
“We both know I’m going to destroy your perfect pussy tonight,” he rumbles. “But I couldn’t go another second without touching you.” His hand slides into my bottoms. “Without touching this.”
I whimper when his finger expertly rubs at my clit before sliding along my slit and barely entering my body. My legs widen, eagerly inviting him in, and my feet hook around the back of his thighs.
“You think you deserve this, loser?” he croons, nuzzling my hair. “My finger inside you? You think you deserve pleasure?”
“Yes,” I sass, pressing my body against his finger. “Do it, Cal.”
Instead, he pulls it back out, teasing my clit again. “Beg, Charlie girl. Beg for me to finger your needy pussy. Tell me how bad and horrible you are for wanting to get off in front of my parents.”
God, he’s so dirty.
I fucking love it, too.
“Finger me,” I tell him, my words breathless. “Get me off in front of everyone.”
His teeth sink into the side of my neck, biting hard enough to make my body tense up, but not hard enough to break the skin. He chooses that tense moment to press the entire length of his finger into me. It’s a brutal invasion that lights my soul on fire.
“Why do you love pain?” His finger is gentle now as he fucks me slowly with it. “Why do you like to be hurt, beautiful?”
“I don’t,” I argue, letting out a low moan when he forcefully pushes in another finger. “Ahh, it burns.”
“Say your precious safe word, English. Say it right now.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to.”
“How come?”
“Because I want this.”
“Even though it hurts.”
I whimper when he pinches my nipple over my suit. “Y-Yes.”
“So you do like a little pain?”
“Only with you,” I breathe.
“Why?”
“Because I know you’ll stop if I can’t take it. You won’t hurt me. Not like him.”
He rewards me by suckling on my neck and fucking me slowly with his fingers. The top of my swimsuit gets pulled down, exposing one of my breasts to his greedy hand. We’re still beneath the water, so no one can see, but it feels naughty. He cups my entire breast before twisting the nipple in between his finger and thumb.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he warns. “As soon as family time is over, I’m taking you to my place and I’m going to spend the whole night devouring you. I don’t know what this is between us, Charlotte, but I can’t not see it through. I need to be inside you. I may hate myself for that, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s my truth.”
“I want that too.”
“I’ve been in your mouth. Soon, I’ll be inside your cunt. One day, I’ll take your ass and you’ll love that too. Want to know why?”
“Why?” I whimper when his thumb rubs my clit.
“Because your body was made for me to punish. You crave every single thing I want to do to you. It’s vile and dirty, but you feel like you deserve it.”
“I’ve never done anal,” I murmur, my voice tight. “I don’t know that I’ll be good at it.”
“You don’t have to be good at it. You have to just take it. Brutal and hard. Hold on and try not to cry. It’ll hurt. You’ll cry.” His words are vicious as they lash at me, but I can’t flinch from them because he plays my pussy right to the edge of pleasure and leaves me lingering there.
“Sounds horrible.”
He chuckles, the sound dark and demonic, sending thrills of desire curling in my belly like plumes of smoke. Addictive and heady. “You love all the horrible things I do to you.”
With those words, he rubs me right over the edge, biting my neck again. I have to bite down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure. He slides his fingers out of me and rights my swimsuit bottoms. Rather than fixing my top, he exposes the other breast and then twists me in his arms until my naked breasts press against his bare skin.
His green eyes are violent.
Evil.
Starved.
And yet I’m not fearful of them.
I wrap my legs around his waist and run my fingers through his dark hair. His cock is like stone pressed against my pussy. I fixate on his full lips, craving to kiss them.
Will he fuck me here in the river?
Do I want that?
Yes.
“Charlotte…” His brows furl as he drinks me in. “I’m fucking terrified of you.”
My heart stutters in my chest. “Why?”
“Because you’ve hurt me so fucking much and I still want you. This power you have over me is wrong.”
I flinch at his words, my stomach clenching painfully. “Doesn’t feel wrong.”
“When we both crash and burn from this, you’ll feel it. It’s going to hurt. We’ll have no one to blame but ourselves.”
“Maybe we don’t crash,” I murmur. “Maybe it doesn’t have to hurt.”
He doesn’t believe me. Suspicion glints in his green-eyed glare. I don’t like this look on him. I like the adoring, ravenous one. Leaning forward, I press a kiss to his handsome mouth.
“I’ve had enough emotional pain, Cal,” I murmur against his mouth. “I can’t take any more of it. But this thing brewing between us doesn’t feel like it’ll kill me. It excites me and gives me hope.”
His lips part and I take my opening. I kiss him as though I have the power to make him see what he’s doing to me. Rather than shy away from my lips, he reads the language of my mouth, trying like hell to understand. This kiss is frantic and raw. I rub against him, needing him to consume me completely. To finish the deal. Set us in stone. His palm grips my ass hard, urging me to rock against his dick as he kisses the life out of me.
“Dude,” Roan rumbles from nearby. “You can’t fuck my sister-in-law in front of her brother.”
I freeze in Cal’s arms, heat creeping up my throat and cheeks. Cal laughs at Roan’s words, but he remains stiff. He pulls my top back into place and then hugs me to him like I might try to swim away.
“Why not?” Cal taunts.
“Because I don’t want to explain to Kelsey how her son is in jail for drowning you,” Roan says, chuckling. “I really, really like my husband, so please don’t make him kill you.”
“As if the rat has anything on me,” Cal teases.
“Maybe not height,” Roan throws back, “but he’ll whip your ass in the gym any day. Trust me. I deal with his smug ass every day we go. I’m the fucking firefighter, but he can bench more.” He grows serious. “Are you two a thing now? I thought…”
That Cal hates me.
I think we all thought that.
“We’re some thing,” Cal complains.
“Well, before you do some thing reckless, get your ass out of the water. Sebban wants s’mores.” He starts to swim away but stops to look at us. “Don’t start something you don’t plan on finishing. I can’t choose sides here.”
Cal rubs his fingertips up and down my spine, oddly quiet as he mulls over Roan’s words. I pull away slightly so I can see his face. His green eyes are stormy and contemplative.
“I’m fine, English,” he grumbles. “Let’s get out of here before I change my mind and bring the wrath of Horn River’s rat down upon me.”
The fire crackles and pops, but it doesn’t bother the four remaining people around the fire.
Me.
Cal.
His parents.
I can tell with each passing second beyond the midnight hour, Cal grows more and more agitated. He wants to drag me back to his cabin, but can’t seem to find it in him to tell his parents he wants to abandon them for sex. It’s actually quite endearing.
“I like this one,” David says, tipping his beer at me. “She’s smart. Not just a pretty face.”
Cal lets out a snort. “Glad you approve, Dad.”
“She wants to be a doctor. Those other girls you dated wanted to be strippers.” David laughs so hard it sends Kate into a fit of giggles.
“Unbelievable,” Cal mutters. “My own dad is cockblocking me right now because he won’t shut up.”
I swat at him. “Be nice.”
“Yeah,” David says, swiping tears from his eyes. “Be nice to your old man. I wiped your ass until you were five.”
“Dad!”
Now Kate and I are giggling at their antics. It’s crazy to me how similar Cal is to his father. Like my own dad, David carries his age well. He’s fit and handsome. Always smiling. It makes me wonder if Kate sees the unsmiling David. If she sees the angry one or the one who hurts. I feel special to be let into his world, even if I was lured into it at first as punishment.
David finally collects himself and takes another sip of beer. “So I hear your dad’s a homophobe.”
This time, I’m the one cringing.
“No,” I bark out, rushing to defend Dad. “He’s just a control freak. When my brother came out as gay, he had a hard time wrapping his head around it. He said some horrible things and our family was torn apart, but he’s been trying to do right by Hollis.”
David nods as though he accepts this answer. “Truth is, I was shocked as shit when Roan showed up to dinner one day with your brother on his arm. Cal never mentioned it. Just let me experience it firsthand.” He shoots his son an annoyed glare. “Nearly choked on my lasagna too when Roan planted a kiss on that boy’s face.” He points at Cal. “You’re an asshole for not warning me.”
Cal shrugs, flashing his dad a wicked grin. “Like to keep you on your toes, old man.”
“I’m not fucking old,” David grumbles. “Right, babe?”
Kate grins at him. “More handsome than the day you asked me to marry you.”
“And here’s where they try to make another baby,” Cal grumbles, rising to his feet. “On that note, I’m going to get this little one tucked in and read her a bedtime story.”
His dad cracks up laughing as he ribs his wife. “That’s code for—”
“Dad!”
Kate and I giggle again. I stand up and give both Kate and David a hug before gathering my bag up. Cal speaks lowly to his dad and then they shake hands. He leans down to give his mom a kiss.
I wait for him at the edge of the woods where a trail will take us up to the Campfire Chaos cabin. Earlier, when Sebban started getting crabby, Roan and Hollis took him home. Jordy and Roux decided to stay in the cabin while Penny and Sonya pitched a tent nearby.
Tonight was fun.
It’s been so long since I hung out with friends, laughed, and relaxed. I hope I’ll have more of that in my near future.
Cal’s presence looms behind me, blocking out the light of the fire and casting an ominous shadow into the woods. The villain has caught me. His strong hand finds mine, threading his fingers with mine, making my heart leap into my throat.
Turns out, I’m a villain kind of girl.
He leads the way through the darkness. We come to the opening where a tent is erected beside the cabin. Laughter from Penny and Sonya can be heard. They’re making fun of Paxton and Heidi, which makes me stifle my own laugh. Cal is a man on a mission as he takes us past the cabin and along another path in the woods. After five quiet minutes, we come to another clearing. There’s a cabin here, bigger than the other one, and more homely looking than the other.
His giant truck is parked in the small driveway beside it. It’s quaint and cute. I find it funny that a giant guy like Cal lives in an adorable rustic cabin on the river. It doesn’t seem like it even fits him. But, the moment we step inside, I know I’m wrong.
It’s him.
Dark, masculine décor.
An earthy, mountain scent I can only attribute to it coming from him. In his dwelling, it’s stronger.
“This place used to smell like cat piss,” he reveals. “I ripped the carpet out. Still have to refinish the floors.”
I admire the living room just big enough for a couch and recliner. There’s no television. The focal point is a rock fireplace.
“How many bedrooms are there—”
“We can talk about my house later, loser. Take your clothes off.”