Chapter 10
NOVA
My small, cosy space suddenly seemed suffocating with Jay’s presence taking up all the room, stiflingly warm.
He was stretched out like he belonged here—which he absolutely didn’t—his raven hair falling over his forehead as he tilted his head to study the ancient, weathered stone that braced the entrance to the barrow.
My heart beat faster. My palms were clammy, and I didn’t want to admit to myself why that was. This was our first time properly alone together since the night he’d kissed me, and the first time he’d been anything less than hostile to me.
But this was Jay, the man who hated me. So he probably had an ulterior motive, and that meant I couldn’t let my guard down.
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “Jay.”
He turned his gaze on me, his eyes dark and intent in the candlelight. My breath caught in my throat as he tilted his head to study me. “Yeah?”
“Promise me you won’t tell anyone about this place. Anyone. That includes my brother.”
His expression turned calculating, and I was instantly on edge. “What’s it worth?” he said slowly.
“What…what do you want?”
His gaze bored into me, his eyes asking a question I didn’t have the answer to. Shifting closer, he lowered his voice. His hot breath skimmed over my skin as he dipped his head to mine. “A kiss.”
I inhaled sharply. “I’m—I’m promised to—”
“I don’t care.” His lips were almost touching mine. “One kiss. That’s the price for my silence.”
“I hate you,” I whispered against his mouth.
Warm fingers curled around my jaw, holding me in place. “I know.”
Then his mouth slid over mine, so softly. My hand curled around the back of his neck, pulling him closer as I opened my mouth to him, letting him deepen the kiss.
He kissed me like we’d been doing it forever. Goosebumps erupted all over my body, every nerve ending on fire as he stroked his tongue over mine, holding me in place, dominating me with his mouth.
I was completely unprepared when he pulled back, both of us breathing heavily, the sounds amplified by the tiny space we were in. My hands were shaking, and I curled them into fists, my nails digging into my palms.
“Satisfied?” My voice was breathless, and I couldn’t look at him.
“Not nearly enough, princess.” He shifted away from me. “But a deal is a deal. I’ll keep your secret.”
I didn’t thank him because he didn’t deserve my thanks. He’d invaded my private sanctuary, and I’d never be able to come here again without remembering this moment.
An uncomfortable silence fell between us, which he eventually broke with a rough exhale. “I should go. Ryker will— Fuck. I need to go.”
I nodded, pulling my legs up and curling my arms around my knees as I stared into the flickering candlelight. I watched his shadow dancing against the wall as he moved towards the entrance. When he reached it, he paused.
“Will you be okay on your own?”
“I can handle myself, and there’s nothing out here but sheep,” I snapped.
“Fucking hell, Nova. No need to get so defensive when I’m asking a simple question.”
“Please. Just go.”
All I wanted was to be left alone.
After an excruciating silence, he finally disappeared. I looked around my sacred space, swallowing around the lump in my throat.
Jay had stolen my first kiss, and now he’d stolen my sanctuary.
It was so quiet at night. My dorm room—a former cell with bars still remaining on the windows, despite the fact that glass had been installed beyond—had such thick walls that it was impossible to hear any sound from the rooms on either side of me.
Even the door was dense, heavy wood, deadening any noise.
But despite the fact that it was sparse, it comforted me in a way. No one would disturb me here.
Lowering myself onto my bed, I slid my hands under my cami, hating myself for being so weak.
Sleep should have been my priority, but instead, here I was, replaying tonight’s events in my mind.
I couldn’t believe Jay had found my sanctuary.
I’d thought I was being so careful, slipping away when everyone was distracted, but I hadn’t been careful enough.
I’d stumbled across the barrow by accident in my first year, desperate for a place to escape to when the weight of my responsibilities all got to be too much. When I’d found the hole in the wall, I’d come up with a whole imaginary story that it had once been used by escaping prisoners.
Maybe it had.
I’d stumbled down the steep hill, feeling free for the first time with the endless, wild land ahead of me.
After picking a random direction, I’d discovered the barrow.
The entrance had been completely overgrown, but I’d cleared it away.
I’d done a bit of research online to check the structural integrity—I didn’t want to risk the heavy stone coming down on top of me—and when I was as certain as I could be that it was safe, I’d made it my little sanctuary.
It had become my secret hideout, somewhere that no one else even knew existed.
Until tonight.
Stretching my body out beneath my thick duvet, I ran my hands over my breasts, a soft moan falling from my lips as my fingers traced my pebbled nipples.
There was no denying who was responsible for the ache in my body, the unfulfilled need that had been there ever since Jay had appeared in the barrow.
That kiss.
He’d stolen it from me again, using it as a bargaining tool, but I hadn’t even tried to negotiate the terms. A part of me had wanted it as soon as the words had come out of his mouth. His mouth, which could speak with such cruelty but kiss me like I was something precious.
It was a lie. He felt nothing for me. It was just another way for him to assert his control, of having something to hold over Anton, even if Anton was unaware of it.
Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly, circling my nipples as I pushed aside everything else, leaving only the memories of the kisses.
Of the way he looked in the yard, stripped down to his low-slung sweatpants, his defined torso glistening with sweat as he fought his opponent.
Of his power and grace on the ice, slapping the puck into the net, triumph on his gorgeous face. Of the way I hated him.
Fuck. I couldn’t hate him. Not like that.
“Jay.” I moaned into the stillness, my hand inside my underwear, my fingers sliding into my soaked pussy. I arched off the bed as I touched myself, wishing my fingers were his. Wishing that I didn’t want him.
My fingers sped up, my orgasm crashing over me like a tidal wave.
When I was spent, I hated him even more.