Chapter 13
NOVA
The yard was less crowded than usual, but there were still too many people blocking my view.
Students from both Cranham and Whelford lined the chain-link fence, taunting and cheering and restlessly shifting in an ever-changing wave, their focus intent on the two opponents going at it in the centre.
Through a gap in the crowd, I caught a glimpse of the fight.
The motion of Ryker’s tattooed arms was almost too quick to follow, one punch after the other, sending his opponent flying to the side.
I pushed forwards, my hood covering my hair and shadowing my face.
If I dared to walk tall and proud instead of hiding myself, people would move for me, knowing who I was.
But tonight, I needed the anonymity. It was amazing what a nondescript hoodie and a small change in posture could actually do.
The morning, which would bring a family brunch to celebrate mine and Ryker’s twentieth birthday, followed by a full day of pampering, professional hair and makeup, and then… My engagement.
“Bets on the next fight!”
I glanced to my left to see Toby Wells holding his hand up. Jay had been in charge of the betting earlier, which meant—
Slipping through the crowd with mumbled apologies, I reached the front.
Kane was pacing up and down in the centre, his lean, defined body glistening under the lights mounted on the tops of the chain-link fence. He was insanely hot, if you liked the bad-boy type, but I barely paid any attention to him.
Because Jay had entered the centre of the ring—the area marked out in the dirt as the fighting zone.
His hands went to the hem of his hoodie, and he tugged it and the T-shirt below off in one smooth movement.
My breath caught in my throat at the sight of the chiselled planes of his torso, and I immediately cursed myself for noticing.
He threw the bundle of clothes to Daniel and then ran a hand through his hair, tousling it.
There was a dark expression on his face that I hadn’t seen before when I’d watched him fight, and as he began to circle Kane, it seemed as if Kane realised it too.
His eyes narrowed before he smirked, tapping his cheekbone.
“Remember you promised not to mess up my pretty face.”
That seemed to snap Jay out of it. The corners of his lips kicked up as he met Kane’s gaze. “I think it was the other way around.”
“Whatever. Can’t have us showing up for the big party with black eyes.”
A muscle ticked in Jay’s jaw, any hint of amusement instantly disappearing. He glanced over at Daniel, who was officiating tonight, and jerked his head.
“Okay! Who’s ready for a death match? Presenting Jayesh ‘Banks’ Attwood, versus Kane ‘The Destroyer’ Worthington! Who’s gonna win?”
Kane rolled his eyes at the random nickname Daniel had bestowed on him—one of the many ways Daniel liked to amuse himself when it was his turn to officiate the fights—but then he settled, his expression going completely blank. I shuddered internally. His eyes were almost as empty as my brother’s.
Daniel raised his hand in the air and then slashed it downwards.
They were on each other instantly, Kane throwing himself at Jay with a snarl, Jay responding with a vicious uppercut that had Kane staggering backwards before he came at him again.
I couldn’t look away. They were evenly matched, both going hard, but holding themselves back from doing true damage.
As I stood there, watching, unable to tear my gaze away, I realised something. Ever since Jay had invaded my space, something had changed between us. Something infinitesimal, but crucial. Something inside me that had thawed a tiny part of the wall of ice around all things Jayesh Attwood.
Something I didn’t want. I needed to build my defences back up.
In the shadow of the library building, I forced myself to take deep, even breaths, trying to compose myself. Watching Jay shouldn’t affect me this way, especially not when he was fighting.
At least it was over now. All I needed was to go to the barrow so I could be alone and get my head together. I slipped around the side of the building, needing to get away, but I was yanked backwards into a hard body.
“Going somewhere, princess?”
No. How was he here?
“Leave me alone,” I hissed, tugging at Jay’s arm. Where had he come from? He’d just been fighting Kane.
“I don’t think you want me to, do you?” he purred, low, right against my ear, and I…I stopped struggling. He hummed, his lips skimming over my lobe. “Thought so.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” My words were angry, and I was angry—with myself. I didn’t want to like the feel of him against me, to wish that instead of the bare brushes of his mouth on my skin, he was kissing me until I lost my breath.
He exhaled sharply. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. You’re going to be an engaged woman tomorrow, and I can’t—” Cutting himself off, he dipped his head, his fingers curling around my hood to pull it back so he could press his lips against my throat.
“Can’t what?” I whispered.
“Do this.” He pressed another kiss against my skin. His hand slid under my hoodie, with just the thin fabric of my T-shirt providing a barrier between the warmth of his palm and my stomach.
“W-why do you even want to do this? You hate me. I hate you.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue, my body betraying me as I pressed into his touch. “I’m promised to Anton.”
Withdrawing his hand from my hoodie, he covered my mouth. “Don’t speak his name. Just pretend. Pretend we don’t hate each other.”
My head fell back against his broad shoulder. Curling my fingers around his, I tugged, and he slid his hand off my mouth, circling my throat instead. His thumb stroked over my pulse point, and a soft gasp fell from my lips before I could stop it.
“Fuck, Jay. I don’t think it’s possible to pretend.”
“Try.” Squeezing my throat, he pulled me closer to him, and I felt the hard length of his erection against my lower back.
My body was on fire.
“Please,” I whispered, not even knowing what I was begging for.
That one word seemed to break what was left of his resolve, and with a low groan, he spun me around, pushed me up against the wall, and kissed me.
Sparks erupted all over my body, my hands curling into his hoodie, needing him closer.
Palming my ass, he dragged me over his thigh, back and forth, the friction sending waves of heat through my body.
I gasped, and he groaned, his mouth at my throat, vibrations spreading across my skin.
“You turning your knife on me was so fucking hot,” he rasped. “I want to see every side of you, Nova. The good girl and the bad fucking girl.”
I shuddered. “Jay. I’m not—I’m not—”
“You are.” He bit down on my throat, grinding his thigh upwards as his fingers pressed down on my clit through my clothes.
“Ohhhh,” I moaned. My underwear was soaked, the hot drag of his hard muscle against my aching core making my breath catch and stutter in my throat.
His teeth scraped over my pulse point as he mouthed at my overheated skin, his fingers circling my clit. “Fucking come for me.”
I shattered. No one had ever— I’d never had an orgasm that wasn’t at my own hand. My brain went offline, and I forgot where I was and who was giving me pleasure for one blissful, intense moment.
“I hate you,” I whispered when I recovered my breath, burying my face in his shoulder.
“I know.” His arms tightened around me before he pulled away. I lifted my head, my heart pounding.
“Y-you invaded my private space. You did…this.”
“Yeah. I know.” He swallowed hard. “I need you to hate me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
We stared at each other. I knew it was only my imagination, but it felt as if I could see the same uncertainty and hopelessness swirling inside me reflected in his gaze.
His lashes swept down, breaking our connection. “Fuck,” he ground out, slamming his palm against the wall. “Are you really going through with it?”
There was no need for him to define what “it” was. My frustration made me lash out, spitting the words at him. “I have no fucking choice.”
“There’s always a choice.”
I shook my head violently. “Maybe for you. But not in my world. You need to leave me alone, Jay. For both our sakes.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.” It had to be. “Go. Please.”
He dipped his head to my ear, his hot breath skating over my skin, making me shiver. “You don’t want me to leave.”
I shoved at his chest. “For fuck’s sake, Jay. What do you want from me? You said you needed me to hate you. Consider it done. I’m not yours, and I never will be. The sooner you get that through your head, the better.”
Dragging his fingers through his hair, he swore under his breath. His expression shuttered as he stepped back, holding up his hands with his palms facing me. “Okay. That’s it. I’m done. Goodbye, Nova.”
When he was gone, I slumped back against the wall, taking deep, shuddering breaths as I fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Why did it feel like I’d lost something? Something that had never been mine to begin with?