Chapter 17 Jay
JAY
Volkov had that same taunting expression in his eyes that had been there during our training session.
Holding my head high, I stepped onto the dance floor and made my way over to where he stood with Nova.
My mouth was dry, and my heart was hammering, but I remained outwardly impassive.
Or so I hoped. Volkov could apparently read me like a book.
When I reached them, Volkov withdrew his arm from around Nova’s waist and took a step back, inclining his head.
Fuck. I could feel all the eyes boring into me, a sea of trained killers ready to take me out if I dared to disrespect one of their own. Nova was holding herself completely still, as uncomfortable with the attention as I was, although I was sure it wasn’t for the same reason.
I cleared my throat as I held out my hand. “May I have this dance?”
She placed her hand in mine. Her fingers were trembling.
Fucking hell. This was excruciating. Casting my gaze around, my eyes connected with a pair of familiar blue ones that widened at whatever expression my face was making.
I could see his brain calculating the situation instantly.
He liked to play the joker, but he was clever.
He worked on his instincts, and they rarely let him down.
Dan gave me a short nod and then strode over to Liana, dropping into a sweeping bow. “May I have this dance, my lady?”
Normally, Liana would have rolled her eyes at his antics, but perhaps she was aware of how uncomfortable Nova was, because she replied with a simple “Yes” and let him lead her onto the dance floor.
As they passed Ryker, I saw Dan kick the side of his foot, and I almost smiled at the savage look Ry shot him.
Still, he took Dan’s none-too-subtle hint and invited Kayla, one of Dan’s cousins, to join him.
I noticed how he refrained from touching her.
When Volkov clapped his hands for the music to begin, the crowd suddenly came alive, couples swarming the dance floor to the sound of violins.
Surrounded by dancing couples, I finally allowed myself to take Nova in.
She was staring at a fixed point somewhere in the vicinity of my throat, biting down on her lip.
Her fingers were still trembling, and as I drew her closer, placing my hand at her waist, I wished I could pick her up and carry her out of there, away from everything and everyone who was forcing her into something she didn’t want.
No, Jay. She’s not yours. You don’t want her; she hates you. Look at the giant fucking diamond on her finger.
Gaslighting myself wasn’t working, so I let myself pretend for a moment. Pretend that she was mine, that there’d never been any animosity between us, that we lived in a world where we could have freedom of choice.
She was so fucking beautiful. The subtle shimmer of her skin enhanced her light makeup.
Her satiny blue dress skimmed the gorgeous lines of her body, dropping to the floor, cocooning her as she spun, while her blonde hair, swept away from her neck and piled on top of her head, drew my gaze to her exposed throat.
I wanted to kiss it. To kiss her until she was breathless.
I would have given anything for her to really be mine.
To take back every cruel word I’d said. For her to be happy.
A memory hit me, hard and fast.
“I hope no one tries to dance with her.”
I followed Ryker’s troubled gaze to his twin, who was circling the school dance floor. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her. Even at fifteen, she outshone everyone else in the room.
Not that I’d let Ry know that. He was too overprotective of her.
I’d done my best to stay away from her, but I hoped that one day my best friend might realise that I could be good for his sister.
That maybe we could be together in the future.
She was the only girl I was interested in.
No one else even came close. And sometimes, when she smiled at me, I wondered if she felt something for me too.
“Why?” I was sure I already knew the answer, but the word came out anyway.
“My parents have plans for her.” He spoke through clenched teeth. “They want her to stay untouched.”
“Untouched?” I echoed. Unease trickled down my spine. This wasn’t what I’d expected at all.
“Yeah. Fucking— Supposedly, they have plans for the future. You know how my dad’s been trying to make inroads with the Bratva for years?”
“What does that have to do with Nova?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t like it. Nova shouldn’t be a pawn in their schemes. I don’t want her to get hurt. She needs to be careful. I’ve tried telling her, but I dunno if she understands how serious the situation is. No one can touch her. No one. It’s not worth her safety.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
There was a sudden lump in my throat. I blinked rapidly as I stared at the beautiful girl across the room.
The girl who would never be mine. I needed to push her away, both for her own safety and for my own.
Fucking hell. That had been the first time I’d realised there was no hope for us, the first time I knew I had to push Nova away, and it was being hammered home now as I held her in my arms right in front of her fiancé and his family.
“You okay?” I murmured, feeling her stiffen further as we began to move.
“What do you think?” she shot back. “Why do you even care?”
I was so fucking tired of lying to myself. “Because you should be able to choose.” Because I want you to choose me.
Her whole body shuddered. “Jay. Don’t.”
“You look beautiful.” I shouldn’t have said the words, but they came spilling out before I had a chance to bite them back.
“Stop.” Her eyes met mine, wide and brimming with tears. “Please.”
“I’m sorry.”
She inhaled harshly. “I-I need to go.” Tearing herself away from me, she practically ran from the dance floor.
Icy eyes met mine, the threat in them clear, and then Anton Volkov was gone, striding after his fiancée.
“Jay. Can I have a word?”
I met Dan’s uncharacteristically hard gaze, and my brows flew up. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Yeah. Course.”
“Not here. Outside.”
We made our way towards the tall double doors that had been thrown open, allowing the night chill to cool the overheated ballroom. Dan stepped onto the terrace, weaving around the people who had gathered there, drinking and talking and smoking. He headed to the right, away from the festivities.
I slowed my pace when he came to a stop in front of the security guard who was patrolling the boundary with a huge black dog, speaking to him in a low voice.
The security guy said something in Russian into his radio, and an instant later, it crackled with a response.
“You may use pit,” he said in heavily accented English. “Go right. It is farthest building.”
“Spasiba.” Dan gave him a nod and then crouched down, patting the dog’s giant head. “Khoroshiy malchik.” The dog’s ears pricked up, and it pushed its nose into Dan’s thigh.
“He likes you,” the security guard commented. “That is unusual.”
Dan straightened back up. “Nah. Everyone likes me.” His gaze slid to mine, his brief smile disappearing. “Almost everyone. Thanks, mate. Appreciate it.”
With a jerk of his head, he began walking in the direction the security guy had indicated, and I jogged to catch up with him.
“What was that? Since when can you speak Russian?”
He shrugged. “I only know a few phrases. Got Li to teach me. I thought it might be useful in my future line of work, y’know, since the Hoyton Firm’s closest associates are affiliated with the Volkovs.”
“You got her to teach you how to talk to a dog?”
“Yep. Make friends with the dogs. There’s a saying about don’t bite the hand that feeds you, I dunno. Whatever, it’s irrelevant.”
“Okay…” I wasn’t sure how to respond to his clipped words.
We both fell silent as we reached a large, rectangular building.
It looked like a huge concrete block, brutalist-style.
High, tiny windows ringed the walls, with security cameras interspersed at regular intervals.
Another guard stood in front of a large metal door, and as we approached, he punched a code into the keypad next to the door.
The light above the door turned from red to green, and the door swung open noiselessly.
“Spasiba,” Dan said again as the guard stepped aside to let us in. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, entering a cavernous room with tiered seating and a fighting cage in the centre.
“Arson? What the fuck are we doing here?” My polished loafers echoed on the concrete floor as I followed him down the stairs. He ignored me, and for the first time, I began to worry. “Dan?”
He came to a stop in front of the cage and pushed at the chain mesh door. “After you.”
“What the fuck, Dan?”
“Just get inside.”
Gritting my teeth, I stepped inside the cage, and he followed me in, closing the door with a heavy clang that echoed around us.
When it was shut, Dan removed his suit jacket, tucking it through the mesh of the cage to hold it in place.
He unclipped his cufflinks and placed them in one of his jacket pockets and then began rolling his sleeves up.
“Mate. What the actual fuck is happening right now?”
His gaze slid to mine, and his eyes were dark and stormy. “You might wanna take your suit jacket off. We need to have a conversation, and I’m not sure how it’s gonna go.”
Fucking hell. “You what—you think we’re going to come to blows?”
“Maybe.”
“Okay. Fine.” I began to remove my jacket. Whatever was happening here, he was clearly serious. We didn’t often fight each other, not unless we were just scrapping for fun, but tonight, he meant business. This could only be about one thing, couldn’t it?
We ended up circling each other in the centre of the cage. Dan broke the tense silence with one word. “Bellingham.”
“I fucking knew this was about him. Are you that pissed off that I did drills with him?”
“Yes. You didn’t tell me.”
“Mate. I don’t have a personal issue with him.”
“Yeah, but I do, and you’re supposed to be my best fucking friend. I don’t get it. Why were you even there in the first place? Why did you train with him, of all people? And why didn’t you fucking tell me?”
“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d massively overreact, like you always do when his name gets mentioned.
” Straightening up, I beckoned him towards me with a flick of my wrist. “I was right, wasn’t I?
The fact that we’re here right now, and you’re ready to punch me for it.
That says everything. Go on, punch me, if you think it’ll make you feel better.
I will hit you back, though. I’m not gonna stand there and take it when I’ve done nothing wrong. ”
“It’s Bellingham,” he snarled. “You don’t get it.”
“Clearly. Go on, then, get it out of your system.” A small part of me was aware that allowing my best friend to punch me to work out his frustrations was fucked up, but whatever worked.
He lunged for me, and I jerked out of the way, but his punch still glanced off my ribs. I bit back a swear word. Even in his agitated state, I could tell he wasn’t putting his full power into his blows.
“Mate.” I threw out my fist, connecting with his bicep. “I was there because Coach Lazovsky forced me to do extra drills with Volkov.”
“Volkov. So? What’s your problem with him?”
“He’s an asshole,” I ground out, right before he slammed his fist into my stomach. “Oof. Fucking hell, Daniel. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“You cosying up to my nemesis. How could you? You know he was just doing it to fuck with me.”
Feinting to the left, I caught him off guard with a blow to his jaw, his head snapping to the side. He launched a string of insults at me, followed by two more jabs to my ribs. I wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way. “Not everything is about you. It was my idea! But only because—because—”
“Because fucking what?”
“Because I didn’t want to be alone in the locker room with Volkov after—” I slammed my mouth shut, launching myself at him and not bothering to hold myself back this time.
Fuck him for dragging this shit up. I just wanted to forget.
We traded a flurry of blows, and then Dan did a move I’d never seen from him before, swooping around my back and getting me into a headlock.
“After what?” he growled in my ear.
“A-after he said Nova was special,” I panted. “Fuck.”
He released me immediately. “Timeout.” Stepping around to my front, he met my gaze, breathing hard. “Jayesh.”
Gasping for breath, I shook my head. “Don’t. Forget it.”
His hands came up to grip my shoulders. “I saw you chase Nova into the woods on her eighteenth birthday.”
My eyes closed. I couldn’t meet his gaze. Biting down on my lip, I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides, desperately trying to get myself under control.
“Jay. Mate. It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
“You can trust me. If you want to talk about it, I won’t tell anyone. Not even King, if you don’t want me to.”
Opening my eyes, I forced myself to meet his gaze. There was no more anger there, only concern.
“I-I can’t.”
He jerked his head towards the cage door. “How about we sit down over there and I talk, and you tell me if I’m wrong or right?”