Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
AMES
“Never!” I glare at Robbie with every ounce of strength I can muster… which admittedly isn’t much, considering my body feels like it’s been tenderized with a meat mallet. “Absolutely fucking not.”
“Absolutely fucking yes .” Robbie stands at the foot of my hospital bed, arms crossed.
He’s fresh from a decent night’s sleep and a morning shower I’m incredibly jealous of, wearing clean jeans and a Winsome FD hoodie that makes his shoulders look impossibly broad.
His green eyes are locked on mine with an intensity that makes me really glad they removed my betraying heart monitor yesterday afternoon.
“Maybe you could—” Auden pipes up from my side, but neither of us is paying attention.
“Ames.” Anna takes a little piece of paper from the pocket of her pink scrubs and records something—probably my rapidly increasing blood pressure—and shakes her head so her blonde ponytail swishes.
Her voice reminds me of my mother’s—not mad, just disappointed.
“ You heard what the doctor said. Minimum one week bed rest, followed by another week at home taking it easy, then PT.”
She sounds way too composed for a person who’s reminding me I’m out of commission for a while.
“But that doesn’t mean I need to live with anyone,” I protest, though I don’t believe my own lie. I still can’t get to the bathroom without help. “I don’t need a… a nursemaid.”
“No, of course not,” Robbie says. “Just look at how you took care of yourself last night when you tried to get out of bed. Remind me again how that ended?”
I nearly face-planted, and we both know it, since my sprained ankle requires crutches I can’t use with my broken collarbone. I set my jaw. “That was one time. And I was under the influence.”
“Three times,” Anna corrects cheerfully.
“I was here for two of them, remember? And the night shift documented a third attempt at 2:00 a.m. There was some discussion about whether you should be given a ‘Fall Risk’ bracelet or just tied to your bed with the words ‘Stubborn Idiot’ written in Sharpie on your face.”
“I know what I would’ve gone with,” Robbie says, raising an eyebrow.
My whole face flushes hotter. “Okay, but?—”
“Ames,” Anna says, “I know it sucks, but you’ve gotta wrap your mind around it. There’ll come a time to push yourself, but if you do it now before you’re ready…”
She doesn’t need to say what will happen because I think we all know it’ll be nothing good. Falls. Reinjury. Permanent injury.
“He’ll come home with me,” Robbie announces like he’s already decided. Like he’s the boss. “I have a first-floor bedroom, so minimal stairs. I’m strong enough to move Ames around. And I have the next two weeks off.”
My attention’s so caught on “move Ames around” that I’m a beat late when it comes to the rest of what Robbie said. Two weeks off?
“Wait, what?”
Anna and Robbie have moved on in the conversation, so they both ignore me. Anna’s explaining exactly what I’ll need help with in terms of my range of motion—dressing, bathing, getting to the bathroom, managing my meds.
Every word she says makes me want to sink through the hospital bed and the vinyl floor tiles, all the way to the Earth’s core.
The thought of Robbie helping me bathe—of those big hands soaping my skin, of being that vulnerable with him when I’m already struggling to keep my feelings in check—is going to finish off what the fire started. I will literally, no exaggeration, die .
“I… I could help you, Ames,” Auden volunteers softly. He’s clearly trying not to interrupt the conversation between Robbie and Anna or to further piss me off. “I mean, if you need someone, I could come over after school. Or I could see if I can get some time off?—”
“No,” I say too quickly. “That’s so sweet, Auden, but you don’t need to. I might need minimal help—” This huge concession should earn me a shiny gold star. “—but I do have four siblings and two parents who can pitch in?—”
Robbie’s head whips toward me, making it clear he’s been paying attention the whole time.
“Beckett’s running Axford Lumber, True’s got commissions backed up, Holden’s the person responsible for law and order in our town, Eliza’s saving lives at the clinic, and Wilder offered to come home from his trip early, but we told him no.
Which of them were you gonna ask? Do you really think your sweet but tiny mother or your father, who’s still recovering from his heart attack, should be the ones hauling you out of bed?
And before you suggest it, Rocco and Jana and the rest of your team told you not to worry about Watchfire for the next few weeks, which means none of them are free to help you personally, and your friends on the fire crew are working with the Mabel folks to keep the station running, so they’re busy, too. ”
Auden’s mouth drops open at this barrage, like he thinks Robbie should be kid-gloving me.
But though Robbie’s being dramatic—I mean, it’s not like Holden’s facing down gun-toting criminals in our tiny town, for god’s sake—he’s also right. More than that, Robbie knows sometimes a battering ram’s the only way to break through my stubbornness.
It’s annoying as fuck when someone knows all your shit and calls you on it.
“I’m telling my mom you called her tiny,” I mutter.
Robbie grasps my uninjured foot and gives it a slow, absent massage—a weirdly soothing gesture. “Vivian already told me nobody takes care of you like I can.”
Auden blinks from Robbie to me in surprise.
I shoot Robbie another glare as a blush works its way down my neck. The possessiveness in his voice… fuck .
This is a small taste of what spending a week all wrapped up in Robbie’s devotion is going to be like, I just know it. A dangling carrot of perfection that will be snatched away if I have a weak moment and reach for it.
I close my eyes and wonder if it’s too late to check myself out AMA and go live in a cave somewhere. Then I realize I’d probably need Robbie’s help getting out of bed, which would kind of put a damper on my escape.
Fuck.
“Robbie’s place makes sense,” Anna says with a small smile as she types something into her computer on wheels. “Ground-floor bedroom, plus he has experience with medical situations, and—” She pauses, and her eyes meet mine. “Robbie’s dedicated. Your mom’s right about that, you know.”
Yeah. That’s what I’m worried about.
“Besides.” Her eyes dance. “The man said he’s already got two weeks off.”
“Yes, back to that.” I narrow my eyes. “Since when do you have two weeks off, Robert? I thought you were hoarding PTO like a dragon for your wedding and honeymoon. What does Lissa think about this?”
Something flickers across Robbie’s face. Guilt, maybe?
He shrugs. “It’s already done. The next couple weeks, you’re my top priority.”
This is what I mean. The idea of being his top priority settles over me like a fuzzy blanket. But there’s an expiration date.
“Robbie, really consider,” I say quietly, trying to communicate that this is a terrible idea without revealing why it’s a terrible idea. “You should?—”
“I’m getting real tired of people telling me what I should do, Amesie,” Robbie interrupts. His voice is cheerful but uncompromising. Very un-Robbie, but at the same time perfectly, beautifully him. “I’m done with this convo. You’re coming home with me, end of story.”
I swallow hard. Bossy Robbie is… kind of hot .
Okay, fine, insanely fucking hot.
So hot, I wonder if even Auden feels it, because he clears his throat, ducks his head, and looks like he’s trying not to smile.
Anna clears her throat delicately. “The girls’ll wanna visit you too, Uncle Ames. That’ll be easier if you’re at Rob’s place.” She rolls her eyes. “Uncle Robbie might’ve told Brie that you loved her ukulele playing, so she’s been working on a new song for you.”
Robbie smothers a grin, and something goes soft and gushy in my chest. “Aw. I’d love to see them. And I’m sure I’d love to hear her song.” I catch myself and add, “But that doesn’t mean?—”
“No buts.” Robbie moves closer to the bed, and suddenly, he’s right there, close enough for me to smell his—yep, there it is.
2010’s Abercrombie cologne, all up in my nose.
God, god, god . “You scared the shit out of me Thursday night, Ames. I’m not letting you out of my sight for a while. And you can just… deal with it.”
Our eyes lock, and for a moment, the room falls away. There’s just him and me and this tidal wave of?—
“Okay, well, seems like that’s settled,” Auden says, breaking the moment. He’s looking back and forth between us like he’s doing complex calculus equations in his head. “That’s really kind of you, Robbie.”
Anna nods. “Perfect. I’ll get your discharge paperwork started, Ames, and make sure you have instructions.” She glances at Robbie. “I’ll show you how to wrap his arm to keep it immobilized if he doesn’t want to sleep in the sling too.”
Robbie nods seriously. “Definitely. Whatever Ames needs. ”
The way he says it, like he’d literally do anything for me…
I squeeze my eyes shut. This is going to be a disaster. An utter catastrophe.
“I’ll be back in about an hour, Ames,” Anna says. “Hang tight. Oh, hey, Rob, can I talk to you in the hall for a second?”
Robbie follows her out, and suddenly, it’s just me and Auden… and my guilt.
“So.” Auden picks up my hand and gives me a tilted smile that seems more amused than anything. “Wanna tell me again Robbie’s not scary-intense?”
I shake my head. “He’s my best friend, and he was really upset when he pulled me out of the fire. Probably twice as upset because I got hurt on his watch. And maybe angry on top of that because… because I ran into the building, trying to save Greene.”
Auden plays gently with my fingers and gives me a look like he doesn’t quite believe me.
Which is fair, since I’m not sure I believe me. I keep thinking about that almost-kiss with Robbie the other night and… I don’t know what to make of it.
“I was there. In the waiting room,” Auden says. “Robbie was terrified , Ames. And not because he was angry. Just so you know.”
My stomach squirms and flips.
“Auden.” I take as deep a breath as I can muster, which is still not very deep.
“I… I’m not sure now’s the best time for me to…
to focus on building a relationship with anyone.
Between the concussion and the injuries and…
everything.” I lift my eyes to his. “Can we maybe press pause? Until I get back on track? ”
He laughs a little and doesn’t seem remotely surprised. “Yeah, Ames. We can do that.” He squeezes my hand. “You know, I really enjoy spending time with you. If you get bored, I can come over and regale you with tales of seventh-grade science.”
Relief slides through me. “Yeah. I’d like that. Thank you for understanding.”
“Oh, I definitely understand,” he says with a grin that makes me think I ’m the one who’s missing something. “Friends, then?”
“Friends,” I agree.
Robbie walks back in the open door, and his eyes immediately go to the spot where Auden’s holding my hand on the bed. His face tightens, then blanks.
“Everything… good?” he asks.
“Yeah.” Auden ducks his head to kiss my cheek and shoots me a wink like I’m in on a joke I’m definitely not in on. “I’d better get going. I have lots of class prep to do for next week. Give me a call, though, Ames. When you’re up for visitors, I’ll be waiting.”
“Uh. Yeah. Will do,” I say faintly.
After Auden leaves, Robbie moves to the spot where he was standing and takes my hand in his own. “What was that about?”
“None of your business.” I sigh. “I let him off the hook. This is a lot, and we haven’t been seeing each other that long. He deserves someone who’s not…”
About to spend two weeks in close quarters with their straight best friend and greatest temptation, and attempt to survive it with his heart intact.
“Not broken,” I finish, which seems to encapsulate all of the above .
Robbie’s expression softens. He reaches out one giant hand and carefully brushes the hair back from my forehead. “Don’t be stupid. You’re not broken, you’re injured. You’re gonna be okay.”
He’s so tender, I can’t stand it.
I can’t get enough of it.
And I’m so fucking in love with him, it’s useless pretending I’m not.
I’m not sure I’m ever gonna be okay .
I clear my throat. “What’s up with Anna?”
“Oh, just making sure I knew what I was getting into. She’s coming over after she gets off her shift. Pretty sure she wants to make sure you didn’t force me to drop you off in the woods so you could hike your way home, just to prove a point.”
“Please. I’d never,” I say.
Though, come to think of it, the idea has merit.
Robbie grins like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “She reminded me about the time you duct-taped your injured knee halfway through our last basketball game senior year rather than get medical attention. But I promised her I’d learned my lesson when it comes to your stubbornness.”
“Damn it,” I sigh. “I can’t believe she remembers that.” They topped up my pain meds in preparation for discharge, and I’m feeling all kinds of loose and warm. “You know giving you Anna and the girls is the best thing your brother ever did for you, right?”
“I know.” Robbie cards his fingers through my hair again before he straightens. “When we get home, I’ll get you set up in the guest room, then I’ll go to your place and grab whatever you need.” He gives me a stern look. “I’m taking care of you, Ames, and you’re not gonna give me any shit about it.”
“I’m not sure I know how to do that,” I tell him honestly.
Robbie laughs, and the sound warms me from the inside out. “Then I guess you’ll be learning some lessons about my stubbornness, won’t you?”