Chapter Six #2
Charlotte’s little face beams up at me from the phone and Ellis didn’t understate it, her jaw is covered in drool that soaks her flowery onesie.
My phone vibrates again and I decide I’m going to turn it off in the hope that it will make it easier to focus on keeping Ellis distracted.
That plan is paused though when I see who has been texting me, because it sure as shit isn’t Aiden.
Kayla.
It feels like centuries have passed since we split, but it definitely hasn’t been centuries since she last texted.
I wish there was a delicate way to put it, but there isn’t.
Kayla has a drinking problem. I too have had my fair share of binge-drinking episodes from my early twenties, but from being with Kayla…
I saw how it rapidly became a disease. She hid it well in the beginning, her fancy clothes bought with her father’s money, the fun stories that she conveniently forgot to mention happened while she was hammered.
I’m not completely unobservant. When we went out to dinner, I noticed her throwing back the gin and tonics but I thought it was just first-date nerves.
She told me she had a similar story to my own: parents not accepting of her sexuality, but that wasn’t the truth.
The truth was her parents were trying to save her, they wanted her to be willingly admitted into a rehabilitation unit.
I always pictured them as sterile places but when I looked up where they were suggesting, I was floored.
Lush green gardens, plus a spa, it was complete with all the luxuries money can buy.
Kayla, of course, refused. Rehab didn’t have the one she wanted; I thought that one thing might have been me, perhaps she would miss me, miss us, too much. But I was naive.
Once I found out the truth, I wish I could say that I ended what we had.
As hard as it was, I was not strong enough to be her saviour and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us for me to try.
For months I believed her promises that she would change.
That she wanted to stop but she had just had a slip-up.
I wanted to be the reason she would change but that wasn’t fair to either of us.
Eventually, I had to put myself first and told her that enough was enough, that it was hurting too much.
Still, every few weeks the texts start to roll in.
Begging for me to come back to her, then switching to saying I ruined her life.
Then she sobers up and apologises. Every time I block her.
I will not be her punching bag and yet she uses daddy’s deep pockets to buy another phone to contact me again.
This cycle has been happening for so long I’m becoming desensitised to it.
Doubt it all u want we are gon be 2gether Lynds baby we r soulm8s
Her text is kind of legible so she must be in the early stages, drunk enough to click on my contact but sober enough to form almost sentences.
I don’t even realise Ellis has moved until her hand comes to my shoulder.
My nosy boss and best friend has just read the text over my shoulder.
Her hand tightens as she takes in the message but she must be in disbelief because she grabs for my phone, yanking it from me before I even register her coming for it.
“What the fuck is this? Is she still harassing you? Is this why you have been acting all skittish?” Finally she starts asking a bunch of questions, they just aren’t the ones I thought I was going to get today. Maybe she and Liam were both drunk enough not to notice the shift between me and Aiden.
“It’s just Kayla. Again.” Ellis’ eyes widen slightly, my dating life is not something I’m good at talking about seriously.
I can tell a bunch of bad-date stories but when I fall for someone it feels wrong to divulge all of our relationship.
“She isn’t harassing me and I haven’t been acting skittish.
She gets drunk and texts me sometimes. No biggie.
” I don’t know if I’m trying to soothe her or myself but I don’t think it’s working either way.
“Yes biggie. Lynds, it’s eleven in the morning, if she’s drunk now it’s only going to get worse.
” I hate putting extra drama on to her. Ellis is a disabled mom of two, she doesn’t need to be cleaning up my messes but I know she will.
With the drop of a hat she would take my problems on as her own because she cares. Cares about me.
“I know, look I’ve been dealing with her but I can’t exactly stop her, she just gets a new phone when I block her.” Ellis tries to interrupt me but I ignore her. “I’ll just let her wear herself out until she crashes and eventually apologises.”
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this. Do you want Liam to go talk to her maybe, get her to back off?” Now that’s an image. If I thought it would do any good to send a huge ex-hockey star to her door, I would probably agree, but I know it will just anger her more.
“I’m flattered but it’s fine, she’s harmless, just gets text-happy when she drinks.
” If Liam tries to intervene Kayla will just harass me more, I know she will poke fun at me sending a man to fix my issues.
The conversation of my bisexuality was a sore spot for her, she wanted me to admit I was a lesbian and never talk to her about any ex-boyfriends I had.
Not that there was a lot to tell. She didn’t like the idea of me being around men.
Sending Liam to her would just open that old wound.
“If you’re sure.” Ellis doesn’t want to drop it. That’s not the type of person she is, but she will. She will tell Liam all about it, I’m sure, but I know they won’t intervene unless I give the go-ahead.
“I am, thank you though, El, really it means a lot.” And it does. My parents wouldn’t be willing to help me fight this battle, hell, any battle – that’s what makes this little family I have found myself falling into all the more special. “Can you do me one favour?”
“Sure, anything.” She nods tentatively.
“I know you’re going to tell Liam, I know you guys don’t have secrets or whatever but ask him to keep his lips zipped around the guys, yeah?” I pierce her with a hard glare. One I saw my mom do a hundred times growing up, it is stern but not overtly intimidating.
“Sure… but why?” She speaks slowly, trying to wrap her head around my strange request.
“I love them, I do, but they will be overbearing and pushy and I just don’t need that right now. Aiden can’t find out, he will lose his mind and I just can’t deal with him, okay?” Aiden will go into protector mode and I don’t need a protector, I just need a new phone. No big deal.
“We’ll keep it to ourselves, but you know they would just want to help, especially Aiden. You know he cares about you.” She is trying to soothe me but her words rile me up more than Kayla’s texts ever could.
“Well, I’m none of his business!”
“Damn!” She laughs, shocked at my outburst.
“Sorry, just please, promise me. Aiden won’t find out about Kayla from you or Liam?” I hold out my pinkie to her and she instantly interlocks our fingers together.
“I promise, I still think you should tell him, he might be able to get Cassie to help.” Ah, Cassie.
She is a small but mighty force. She rules those giant men with an iron fist while wearing pretty dresses and heels high enough to make her curvy stature almost average height.
She is a spitfire that might actually be good to have on my side.
She, Ellis and I are the unofficial women of the Spears. I might have to start a group chat.
“Maybe, I’ll keep it in mind.” And I will, I also might ask Cassie if she has any tips on keeping my husband in line. Damn, husband. My life is a wreck, but at least the Spears are a family around me.
The Spears team is like a family, I always thought sports teams had to be close because they worked together but if the rest of them are anything like these men, then that isn’t the case.
The Spears men care about each other. Aiden cares about his team like they are his brothers.
Edge is like a strong, silent protector ready to pounce if anyone disrespects his teammates, he is the only one allowed to antagonise them.
Felix, the goalie, is a little more distant but if anyone needs him he is willing to drop anything to help as best he can.
Rook is the comic relief: when they lose, he is there to show them the silver lining; when they win, he is leading the charge to the nearest bar.
I don’t know if their dynamic will change now that Liam has retired but I’m sure about how they feel about Ellis.
Every member of that team from the players to Coach Mitch have embraced Ellis, Jack and Charlotte and I guess inadvertently me too.
She pulled me right along with her into this family unit unlike anything I ever saw growing up.
I can’t speak for every family in the church, but my family wanted to be seen as a solid unit so badly that it was what caused the cracks the most. Mom’s insistence of perfection in everything; our appearance, our schooling and our faith were always under scrutiny.
Dad was like those classic dads in cheesy TV sitcoms that hate their wives and kids but need them to function.
Without mom he would have starved to death years ago, that or rotted in his own filth.
The man has never lifted a finger. His mom cared for him and now his wife cares for him, and I suspect he wants me to care for him in the future too.
He is the master and we all his humble servants.
He would have a conniption if he saw the way the Spears men treat the women in their lives. With care and gratitude and love. Familial love or romantic love, it doesn’t matter. If you are one of them you are in for life, and I’m going to count myself lucky that I have been allowed in.
There’s just one, insignificant issue: I never intended to marry one of them.