Chapter Eight
Aiden
I’ve never crashed a car before. Even as a teenager driving was never a challenge.
But today… today, I feel like I could be sideswiped any minute.
Not because I’m being chased or anything else quite as dramatic, but because for the first time I feel like my multitasking skills are eluding me.
When I take to the ice as the captain of the Seattle Spears there are hundreds of things on my mind: my team, the opposing team, every play and every penalty flows through my head and I can organise them.
It’s what makes me so good at my job, being able to compartmentalise all of the background noise and focus on what I need to do, what my team needs to do.
Today I’m tripping over my own damn feet and I can’t find a way through the sludge of thoughts.
Music is a great distraction when your mind is spinning.
When you’re driving you are supposed to be completely focused, but no one has ever been solely focused on one thing.
I’m thinking about four things this morning.
Driving to a youth hockey game. Excitement for my favourite nine-year-old. Vegas. Lyndsey Stone.
Jack is one of those people. Jack is the son of my NHL teammate Liam Ruinsky.
Well, technically he is his stepson; but Ruin would beat me up for even thinking of Jack as anything other than his son.
Which I suppose makes me Jack’s unofficial uncle, in a way.
Even if Liam did retire last year, so he isn’t even technically my teammate any more, we’ve still remained like a family.
Right now as I drive, I’m trying to focus on him.
He is playing his first official youth hockey game and I couldn’t be more proud.
As a team we saw Ruin become Jack’s dad, and as his captain I was proud to see the man being a father turned him into.
Not only a father to Jack, but also to his and his fiancée Ellis’ baby girl, Charlotte.
The only downfall to watching him become a dad is losing him from the Seattle Spears. When his life became family-centric there wasn’t enough room for hockey in his life any more, and we all miss him on the ice.
I can ignore how much I miss him for now because of how excited I am for Jack.
I saw that kid learn to skate – hell, I let him chase me around the ice and blast pucks at me for “target practice”.
At least that’s what Liam called it. All of the team wanted to be here, but we aren’t idiots.
No matter what our PR manager would want the world to think, we knew that if we all turned up today the eyes would be on us, not on those kids.
Edge called dibs as he is baby Charlotte’s godfather, and I pulled the captain card so I could come too. We didn’t play fair.
And, of course, I know I’m in for a storm from outside the rink today. Ellis has invited her best friend. Lyndsey Stone. My wife. Beautiful with long strawberry-blond hair and terrifying green eyes that see through bullshit. Mine more than most. Especially the day we woke up in Vegas.
Vegas is the thing I push to the recesses of my brain the hardest. We only got back a few days ago, and my life has taken so many turns since I boarded that damn plane.
All I wanted was to celebrate the end of the season and Liam’s retirement, and instead I’m a different man.
I’m someone’s husband, purely by accident.
And now I need to find a way to make this work to my advantage.
By the time I get to the arena the parking lot is pretty busy.
Minivans line the spots closest to the doors, apart from the black Range Rover that I know is Edge’s.
He took Lyndsey home after our meeting with Cassie and I have been dodging his questions about it since.
If they are here together I’ll have to pull her aside at some point.
Hopefully it won’t feel like I am accosting her.
Luckily for me, she is sat by Edge. I could find her in a crowd of a hundred but today she stands out more than normal.
Her hair is twisted up in a complicated braid leaving her long feminine neck exposed.
She is wearing one of Liam’s jerseys and it takes more patience than it should to not get angry at the sight of his name across her back.
As I come down the steps towards them I still haven’t seen her face but I can imagine the excitement that I will find there.
Jack is important to her, she sees him as her nephew and she has been there with us watching him find his love of the ice.
“She will love me more, I don’t need to buy her affection,” she taunts Edge. I still can’t see her but his eyebrows raise at her words.
“Charlotte Ruinsky is my girl, Lyndsey. I’m sure she will love you too but I’m her best guy.” Edge sounds completely sure in his conviction – if I didn’t know Charlotte couldn’t talk, I’d think she’d told him that herself.
Of course the two of them are having this conversation. Lyndsey is Charlotte’s godmother and Edge is her godfather, not only do they both love her fiercely, they are also two very competitive people. Damn stubborn too.
“Does that help you sleep at night?” she taunts.
“That and the Egyptian-cotton sheets.” He winks at her but when he sees me behind her he nods in acknowledgment of my arrival.
Lyndsey spins around on her seat, looking up at me. That’s not strange, even when she is standing she has to look up at me. As soon as she sees it’s me she spins back around just as fast, effectively ignoring my presence.
“I think I left something in my car… I’m going to go”— she coughs—“go check.” Still not meeting my eyes, she edges past me like the wind.
My momma taught me manners but they go out the window when I jog right after her without saying a word to Edge. He will forgive me, he likes the quiet. I’m sure he will have questions eventually but he can wait. Lyndsey is like a rocket shooting down the corridors back towards the arena.
“You can’t run forever, darlin’, Jack’s gonna want to see ya,” I yell after her as she rounds a corner out of my view. When I round it behind her I find she has stopped. Lyndsey is stood with her forehead resting against a painted blue wall, breath heaving.
“That isn’t fair,” she whispers to me, and I know it went below the belt, it was the only way I knew I could get her to stop. The Ruinsky kids are her soft spot.
“You are gonna have to talk to me eventually, you know?” I lean against the wall next to her but when I try to put my hand on her shoulder she jerks away from me before finally looking me in the eye.
“You shouldn’t touch me, last time you did our lives went to shit.” Lyndsey is trying to joke but I hear the truth in it. Our lives did change in Vegas. When I woke up with her wrapped in my arms.
“Lyndsey…”
“Aiden, listen, it’s probably a good thing we are talking actually because we need to get this shit over with ASAP. Where’re the papers?” she asks me, slicing the air with her hand.
“Look, I know we need to eventually, but I can’t do that right now.” I wanted to go about this gently, but I don’t think that is going to work out how I planned.
“What are you saying? We aren’t staying married, Aiden. Have you lost your mind?” Her voice is stern through gritted teeth. She might be right, all things considered. But she just doesn’t understand.
“Maybe, but I have some family stuff going on, okay? And I need your help with it.” I do sound like I’ve lost my mind.
I know I should tell her everything. I’m planning on telling her everything.
About my sick grandfather and my sisters struggling to deal with him.
Before I can get to this point, she cuts me off.
“I’ll help you… When we divorce.” Her voice kicks up at the end and I know she is getting mad. I don’t blame her.
“Lyndsey, all I’m asking is for us to stay married for just a little bit.” I try to reason, rationalising to myself how I can get all this squared away in a few months. I hope.
“You can’t make a unilateral decision about my life! We. Are. Getting. Divorced,” she growls out, baring her teeth at me. Practically ready to attack.
“Pot calling the kettle black much, Lyndsey? You’re unilaterally deciding we are getting divorced,” I push back, realising that I still hadn’t got to tell her everything before I got on the defensive. I need to be smarter about this.
“I’m not talking about this here.” Lyndsey looks angrier than I have ever seen her.
“Well, darlin’, we’re gonna have to talk about it soon.” My hand comes out to hold her elbow but she pulls that free too, shaking her head up at me.
“Don’t darlin’ me! No one can know.” I can feel myself starting to heat up, my chest feels tight with frustration so I let out a deep breath to expel it the way I do on the ice.
“Lyndsey. You are my wife, people are going to find out.” I try to lift the atmosphere, but it doesn’t work. Instead, my statement falls on the wrong ears.
“What?” Liam yells from my right. Every muscle in my body tenses at the sound.
“Nice going, cowboy.” Lyndsey pushes past me quickly, sweeping out towards the exit of the arena. I’m left standing with one of my closest friends and his fiancée… Lyndsey’s closest friend. Jesus.
“I’m sorry, I think we might miss the game. I’ll call you later.” I stop them before they get a chance to question me. Their questions will come – thick and fast, I’m sure – but I can avoid them for now.
I pace after Lyndsey, jogging out of the arena back into the late springtime sun.
If I was ever to get married, this isn’t how I pictured the newlywed period.