Chapter Sixteen
Aiden
I try to hide it from my sisters, but I’m a coward.
I’m not scared of spiders or hard work, but lying to my sisters scares me.
The fact they might pick up on my lies scares me.
I might never know what made my sisters accept Lyndsey but she did it.
By the time I got back from the store the four of them were laughing and sharing stories like they were childhood friends.
Seeing her sat in my childhood home, with the women I love, stopped me short.
That might be why I pawned Lyndsey on to Eden when it was time to settle down for the night.
Told them I would lock up and Eden could show Lyndsey to the room.
Key words there being the room, I may have conveniently forgotten to tell my wife that we will be sharing my bedroom.
I don’t know why I bothered hiding it from her, it should be a given that a married couple would be sharing a bed, and yet I didn’t confirm or deny it for her.
I know when I walk in there I’ll be walking into a verbal lashing, that’s why I make sure to check the doors and windows twice before dawdling in the kitchen for a while.
I busy myself pouring us both a glass of water while listening to the floorboards above me creak as someone walks along the hallway.
“You’re so full of shit.” Alice’s voice cuts through the darkened room.
“What have I done now?” I can pretend to be mad but I’m not going to pretend it’s not nice to have an excuse to avoid upstairs a little longer.
“You’re not in love with her. She’s great but I know you, Aid, you’re not in love.” Shit. Her voice is sure and steady, there isn’t even a speck of hesitation in her conviction.
“Alice,” I try, but she just raises her hand to shut me up.
She always has to have it her way. But she is right.
Alice was always going to be the hardest sell, having a wedding without her by my side would just be wrong, plus if I even thought I was getting serious with someone she would find out.
If anything was going to be our downfall, it would be my twin refusing to accept that she wasn’t there when I tied the knot.
“No, just wait. I’ll keep it from the girls but you have to promise me something.” She takes one of the glasses of water from my hand, sipping it down as I glare at her.
“What?” I growl out, snatching the glass right back from her.
“Don’t let her go. I don’t know what you need to do, but I like her.” Alice smirks. “And I know you like her even if it might not be love so, at least give it a chance to grow. You deserve to be happy.” With that she slaps my cheek lightly.
“I’ll sure as shit try.” My resolve is strong.
Lyndsey and I are never just going to fall into each other’s arms, she is far too stubborn to admit it even if she did want me, and I keep putting her at a distance.
I know she is single now, I know she finds me attractive and I know we would be good together.
She needs someone who will give her a soft place to land, she has to be so strong every day, no family support and outside of Ellis not many friends so she needs a shoulder.
It will be hard to keep her at arm’s length when she is sleeping right by my side.
“Good, try not to fuck this all up,” are Alice’s parting words before she takes her leave up the old wooden stairs.
“Love you too, Al,” I shout at her departing figure.
Finally putting on my big boy pants, I start walking towards the stairs myself, only to stop again.
Lyndsey Stone is in my bedroom right now.
For all I know she might be getting changed into her pyjamas, she is up there right now in my bed waiting for me.
Sure, not in the way I wish she was, but all the same my wife, my bed, that’s a pretty picture.
It has been longer than I’d admit since I shared my bed – really shared it, I mean.
I have sex, but no sleepovers. And sure as shit no sleepovers in my childhood bed.
The idea of Lyndsey with her pale skin and rosy hair against my white sheets makes my heart shudder in my chest. How am I supposed to breathe easy and rest while she is beside me?
When all I want to do is look at her. All I can think about is touching her.
She might not want to be married to me but that doesn’t mean I can’t admit how drop-dead gorgeous she is.
The delicate curve of her neck, the freckles that splatter her chest that flushes red when she is angry.
She might be angry now, angry that I didn’t tell her about the sleeping arrangements, but I couldn’t risk her getting cold feet.
Hell, that usually comes before the marriage, but then again so does sharing a bed.
I have spent so many years putting my all into hockey.
Into making sure my life still had purpose after my parents died that I have neglected my heart and its wants.
My pops has me pinned there, I did want a wife and kids one day in the future, I just don’t like the ultimatum laid out for me.
I’ll play this game how I need to. It’s my life, my family and my decisions.
My drunken marriage was a wild coincidence, but I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I’m going to sleep in my marriage bed beside my beautiful wife and tomorrow I’ll introduce her to my grandfather.
We will pretend I never got his letter. That it must have arrived while we were travelling, so I’m clueless to what it says.
Then Lyndsey will woo him, the same way she seems to with everyone, including my sisters. That’s the plan, and nothing more.
Once I will my strength to walk up the stairs and down the hallway to my bedroom, I wonder what waits for me behind the door. Will Lyndsey be ready for war or will she be pliant and welcoming?
Ready for war it is.
The door swings open into the pale blue room I grew up in.
It’s been decorated over the years. My old posters are no longer on the walls, it’s less my bedroom now and more of a guest room.
Not that they ever have any guests that aren’t me.
The queen bed is the same though, large in the corner of the room covered in white sheets and a soft blue comforter.
A comforter that is covering Lyndsey’s legs as she sits stock-still with her back against the headboard, arms crossed over her pert chest.
“You got a sleeping bag around here, cowboy?” she asks, head cocking to one side.
“No, darlin’, but that bed does look cosy.” I try to flirt, to make her smile. It’s unsuccessful, as it usually is.
“One bed, Aiden? Really?” She rolls her eyes, clearly exasperated by me.
“In my defence you shouldn’t be surprised, we are married after all.” That’s a bullshit excuse.
“Bullshit.”
“Fine, but we are adults and it’s not some small kids’ bed. There is more than enough room,” I tell her, walking into the en suite. If she had been in a lighter mood I might have tried to change in the room with her. See if I have an effect on her the same way she does on me.
“Don’t be surprised if I kick you,” she hollers through the door.
“Don’t be surprised if I cuddle you,” I laugh back.
“Don’t you dare.” Her voice is low.
“Oh come on, Lynds, what’s wrong with a bit of cuddling between husband and wife?” Once I’m out of my jeans and into some sweatpants I saunter back into the room and can’t help but notice the way her eyes sweep over my bare chest, her eyes snagging on each of my tattoos.
“Get in the bed, Aiden, before I send you down to the sofa.” I don’t need to be told twice, sliding in beside her, making sure I’m on the side closest to the door. Just in case.
“Yes, ma’am.” I laugh low as she rolls her eyes at me. “Last time we were in a bed together things were a bit different.”
“Aiden, if you don’t shut it.” Her elbow lodges itself into my rib but that just makes me laugh.
She can fight all night long but I saw the attraction in her eyes when she looked at my body.
I think the truth is she thinks about me the same way I think about her.
Which involves a lot of nakedness and a hell of a lot of time to explore.
“I’m just saying, darlin’, there were far less clothes involved.” I wrap my hand around her arm to stop her from trying to puncture my lung through my ribs.
“Yuck, don’t remind me.” She gags to drive home her point, but as she turns onto her side away from me, I see the smile she is trying to hide.
“You lie like a dog but you’re beautiful so I’ll let it go.” I lie down beside her then pull the blanket up to my chin and push my chest to her back. Well, it would be if she hadn’t shuffled all the way towards the wall.
I’ll give her that space. If she needs it tonight she can have it but I doubt it will last long. This house is old, I love it but it does have its flaws, one of which being it gets damn cold. In a few hours’ time I won’t be surprised if she burrows towards a heat source. Me.
I didn’t lie to her. I’m a cuddler. I’m a big physical affection kind of guy but, especially at night, I love wrapping my arms around things.
Pillows, people – hell, even Edge once but he gave me a swift kick in the knee to remind me of my place.
Planes are cramped, I can’t be held responsible for that.
I’m going to have to fight my natural responses, how am I going to stop my unconscious body from pulling her back against my chest and wrapping myself around her?
I don’t have control of my sleeping actions, but if Lyndsey wakes up tomorrow wrapped up in my arms I think she will be madder than Edge.
Her anger won’t be for the same reasons but, all the same, Lyndsey will be angry because she will have to admit to herself that being in my arms, in my bed, isn’t all that bad.
I will myself to sleep. I can feel the bed dipping with every one of her even breaths as she sleeps soundly beside me. Sleep eludes me though. I’m plagued with fear that we’ll wake up tangled together. Fear that anything we do behind closed doors might affect how we act in front of others.
I inch myself away, resisting the urge to inhale the smell of Lyndsey’s shampooed hair as it fills the room. It’s what we must do. Because knowing Lyndsey inside and out isn’t part of the plan.