Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Why are you in such a bad mood tonight?” Jordan asked when Stephanie let loose with another string of curses. No matter how hard she tried, nothing was going right. She’d screwed up three orders, broken two glasses and cut her finger while slicing a lime.
“I’m just tired,” she lied.
Jordan perched on the stool at the end of the bar and rested her head on her hand. It was a quiet night, a few patrons sitting at tables around the large room. Jordan was the only person to take a seat at the bar in the past hour. Unfortunately, the slow night had given Stephanie too much time to think.
“Nope. I don’t think you’re tired at all. Did you have a fight with Jarod?”
Stephanie shook her head. “Not exactly.”
Jordan’s eyes narrowed. “Oh no. What did you do to sabotage this relationship, Steph?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jordan sighed loudly. “You sort of have an established pattern in relationships. When things get to be too much, you freak out and try to fuck things up.”
“No, I don’t.”
Jordan reached for a bowl of pretzels. “Of course you do. You’ve done it for years.”
“And you’re only just now finding the time to point this out to me?”
Jordan shrugged. “Honestly, you’ve never dated anyone worth holding on to until Jarod. You’ve been pretty successful at picking out one loser after another.”
“And Jarod’s not a loser?”
Jordan’s look was pure exasperation. Jarod had won her friends over hook, line and sinker over the past month, often hanging out after closing time to help them clean up, bringing by sandwiches on his lunch hour for all of them. He’d gone out of his way to get to know her friends because he knew they were important to her. It was yet another fucking nice thing about him.
“You know Jarod’s not a loser. Not even close.”
Stephanie wanted to throw her friend’s words in her face, deny them. She couldn’t. She’d spent the entire day taking a long hard look at herself, and she hadn’t been happy with what she’d seen. Jordan was right. In the past, Stephanie had chosen to date men she knew she’d never lose her heart to. She’d known from practically the first moment, Jarod was different. He was a threat to her safety because he’d touched her mind, her soul, and now…God help her, her heart. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry.
Jordan’s soft voice nearly did her in. “You may as well admit it. You want to be his girlfriend. Hell, I think you already are.”
She opened her eyes and looked at her friend, fully prepared to lie. Instead, she merely nodded.
Jordan gave her a kind, comforting smile, and Stephanie knew she had chosen the right friend to confess to. Jayne, Miss Romance, would have taken her confession as a green light to start planning some fairy-tale fucking wedding, while Sophie would have hooted and hollered and high-fived the place down.
Jordan simply looked at her with complete understanding. “It’s not the end of the world, you know. Dating someone. Making a commitment. There are worse things out there.”
She grinned, the damn tears she didn’t want creeping into her eyes anyway. “I know. I’m just not ready to be someone’s girlfriend.”
“What does that mean?”
Stephanie gestured at the bar. “We’re still working on making the bar a success. We all promised to give this place three years of our undivided attention and commitment.”
“Jarod understands that. He’s been hanging out here over a month, helping you live up to that obligation. He’s not demanding you stop working, stop caring about this bar. That’s a weak excuse to stop seeing him.”
Stephanie nodded. It was an excuse. She knew that. Unfortunately the lump in her throat and the ache in her chest wouldn’t abate. She squeezed her eyes closed. She wouldn’t cry. She couldn’t.
“So what happened? It’s obvious you’re upset for a reason. I don’t think these tears are a result of realizing you’ve actually opened yourself up to a real relationship.”
“My mother called today.”
Jordan gave her a quizzical look. “So?”
“So, she launched into her usual ‘you’re wasting your life’ speech and I realized something.”
“What?”
“I’m just like her.”
Jordan shook her head. “Jesus, Steph. You’re nothing like Bev.”
“Maybe not completely, but I’m sure as hell laying the groundwork. Working my ass off in this bar, jumping from one failed relationship to another, closing myself off to love.”
“I’ll give you the first two, but not the last. You don’t close yourself off to love. You’re just more guarded, more protective of your heart. Who could blame you, given Beverly’s constant criticism and shitty role-modeling?”
“What if I can’t go the distance, Jordan? What if I screw up and hurt him? I don’t want to hurt Jarod.”
Her friend gave her a comforting smile. “I don’t have a crystal ball. I can’t look into your future and say everything will turn out hunky-dory. I will say the fact you’re more worried about hurting Jarod than risking a broken heart yourself sort of implies to me that it’s too late. Cupid’s arrow has struck. And here we were, thinking your skin was too thick to pierce.”
Stephanie appreciated Jordan’s attempt at humor. She took a deep breath, fighting back the pain as she recalled Jarod’s sleeping form in her bed this morning. His face had been so peaceful. He’d told her they would make love and they had. He’d given her the most magical night of her life, and like a fool, she’d shoved it back down his throat come dawn. She could only imagine how furious and hurt he’d been when he woke up and found her gone. The fact he hadn’t called her all day sort of confirmed that anger. “I have morning-after issues.”
Jordan’s brows furrowed. “I have no idea what that means.”
“Before Jarod, I’d never spent the entire night with a guy. It seemed too personal, too much like a relationship.”
Jordan nodded. “But you’ve spent the night with Jarod, so I don’t?—”
“I leave before he wakes up,” Stephanie interjected.
“Every time?”
Stephanie grinned. Her friend—knowing her love of good sex—clearly assumed she’d spent a month’s worth of nights in Jarod’s bed. How could she tell her the queen of casual sex had only gotten laid three times since she’d started seeing Jarod? She nodded. “There haven’t been that many nights.”
“Why not?”
“Jarod didn’t want me to mistake our relationship for lust.”
Jordan grinned widely. “Oh man, he’s had your number right from the start, hasn’t he?”
Stephanie refused to acknowledge the truth of that statement. The thought of Jarod understanding her so well had poked at her like a rock in her shoe for weeks.
“I think that’s incredibly sweet…and romantic,” Jordan said.
Stephanie paused. It was. It really was.
“What am I going to do, Jordan?”
Her friend reached out and grasped her hand, pulling her closer. Leaning across the bar, she spoke the answer softly. “Simple. You’re going to drive to Jarod’s house tonight after work. You’re going to knock on his door and you’re going to tell him you want to be his girlfriend and everything that entails. Then you’re going to spend the night. The whole night.”
“There’s a very good chance he’s going to be pissed off at me.”
“So apologize and maybe throw in a blowjob for good measure. Men are simple creatures led by their cocks. If I recall correctly, you were the one who taught me that useful tidbit.” Jordan had a wicked interior that was often masked by her shy, quiet exterior.
“That’s not bad advice.”
“Of course it’s not. I’m practical to the extreme. It’s a character flaw I’d love to shed.”
Stephanie squeezed her friend’s hand before releasing it. “You don’t need to change a thing. I think you’re perfect the way you are.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a shame you and I aren’t lesbians because apparently the male species doesn’t see me in the same light as you.”
“You just haven’t met the right guy yet.”
Jordan twirled the straw in her juice and tilted her head. “Wow, quite a romantic sentiment coming from you.”
“Yeah. I guess it is.”
“You going to take my advice?” Jordan asked.
Stephanie nodded. It was time she stopped letting her mother’s failures dictate her future. “Yep. I guess it’s time for me to pull on my big-girl panties and try to do some things right for once. You know, I think you may have missed your calling in college. You should have gone for the psych degree.”
“No thanks. I prefer numbers to emotions. Less gray area.”
“Maybe I should have gone in to accounting with you. God knows all those damn psychology courses didn’t do me much good. I’m pretty much a textbook basket case and I still didn’t see it.”
Jordan laughed. “It’s always easier to look at things from the outside in. You’re stuck with the inside-out perspective in this instance. That view is much tougher.”
Stephanie picked up a dishcloth and wiped down the bar. In the past, the idea of entering a committed relationship with someone would have terrified her. Now that she’d turned the corner and accepted her fate, she felt lighter, happier than she’d ever been. Jeez, she was fucking giddy. And she didn’t care. She smiled, continuing to clean.
Look out, Jarod Nolan, here I come.
It was nearly eleven when Stephanie dragged herself out to her car. Jayne had left earlier in the evening due to a killer headache. Sophie had taken off with a few friends, opting to keep the party going by barhopping downtown. Jordan was still up in her office, working on the accounting books. There was a twin bed there, and Stephanie wondered how many nights her friend chose to sleep above the store, rather than return home to her lonely apartment.
Stephanie had practiced what she would say to Jarod all night. Her stomach did nervous flip-flops as she’d considered every potential outcome. There were too many bad ones to contemplate.
Somehow, in a few short weeks, her hot cop had shattered all her preconceived ideas regarding relationships and romance. While she still didn’t believe in love at first sight, Jarod had proven it was possible to feel a spark, a connection that made a person want to learn more. That was exactly where she was now. She wanted to know him better, wanted him in her life. She grinned as she thought about his unfailing patience as he set out to prove exactly what they could have together, who they could be to each other. If she lost that…
She couldn’t finish the thought or else she’d fall apart. For the first time in her life, she wanted to be someone’s girlfriend. God, please let him still want her in that role.
As she approached her VW Bug, she noticed a Camaro parked directly behind her, blocking her in. She sucked in an anxious breath as Jarod emerged from his car.
He leaned against the driver’s side door as she walked closer, and she could see he had no intention of moving. Her heart stuttered and she felt the smallest kernel of hope. He was here. He’d listen. She’d make him listen.
“Excuse me,” she said, quickly clearing the lump out of her throat. “You’re double-parked.”
He lifted his hands as if unconcerned. “Parking’s brutal in this city. Besides, I’ll only be a minute.”
She tried not to laugh as he repeated her words to her, playing along. That had to be a good sign. She crossed her arms. “So your time’s more valuable than mine?”
He shrugged. “You missed a big breakfast—leftover spaghetti and garlic toast. Raided your fridge. Hope you don’t mind.”
Her laughter at his joke unexpectedly released the tears she’d managed to keep at bay all night. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”
He stepped forward quickly, enveloping her in his embrace. “I know you are.”
She pulled away, looking up into his handsome face. “I suck at this girlfriend shit.”
“You sure that’s what you are? You know, you could get lucky and we’ll figure out it’s only lust after all.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s too late for that. I’m sort of in to you.”
He studied her face seriously, though his eyes betrayed the humor he was finding in the situation. “In to me. That’s good.”
“Just good?”
He grasped her hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’ve been walking around with my heart on my sleeve for weeks, begging you to date me. It’s your turn.”
She acknowledged the truth in his words, reveling in the way he pulled her closer, the smile on his face. “Yeah, well, don’t expect me to get all sappy and start reading romance novels and saying I love you and all that crap.”
“So noted. You feel like putting this girlfriend thing to the test?”
“How?”
“Leave your car here and come back to my place.”
That didn’t seem like much of a test. She quickly agreed. “Okay.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, pointing out the obvious. “You won’t have your own vehicle.”
“I know.”
“You try to steal mine in the morning and I’m arresting your ass.”
She laughed. “I’m not going anywhere, Jarod.”
“Good.”
He opened the door to his Camaro and she claimed the passenger seat. Neither of them talked as they drove to his house. Stephanie was still reeling from how easy it had been. She’d opened herself up to a commitment and all that it entailed—fights, jealousy, breakups. Something told her the possibility of those things was going to be overshadowed, if not completely obliterated, by the good stuff—laughter, sex, dating.
Strangely she’d sort of expected the ground to open up and swallow her after she’d made her commitment to him known. Or at least a lightning strike in the near vicinity. She hadn’t anticipated how natural all of this would feel.
When they arrived at his house, she followed him in, neither of them speaking or stopping as he led the way to his bedroom.
“In a hurry?” she teased.
“I’m about to explode. Take off those clothes. I’m in the mood to do a little partying naked.”
They helped each other undress, their hands fumbling in their haste. When they were completely naked, Jarod picked Stephanie up and tossed her on the bed. She giggled as she bounced, the sound dying in her throat when he grasped her wrists, quickly and effectively handcuffing her to his headboard.
“What the hell?”
“Thought you might need a little help staying put.”
She fought against the restraints, trying to ignore the arousal dampening her pussy. God, this was totally hot. “You’re cheating on the test.”
“Mmm hmm,” he hummed, placing a soft kiss on her stomach.
“This is a false arrest.”
He ran his hands along her rib cage before taking a breast in each hand. “You can report me to my captain in the morning. I’ll invite him around for breakfast if you want.”
“Jarod.”
He paused, looking at her. “Do you really want me to set you free?”
She shook her head, not needing a moment to think about it. “Later. You can unlock the cuffs after you rock my world.”
He grinned. “That’s my girl.”
Jarod bent forward, taking her nipple into his mouth. She groaned at the tight suction, the pleasurable pain sending sparks throughout her body. She squirmed as Jarod licked, sucked and bit every inch of her sensitive skin.
Swiping his tongue through the valley between her breasts, he straddled her stomach, and she recalled the night he said he wanted to fuck her there.
He glanced at her. She was his captive, his to control and command. And yet…
“Do it.”
He grinned in the face of her permission, and she winked at him. She’d never be anyone’s toy.
Placing his cock in the valley, he gripped her breasts and pushed them together. Rubbing them against his hard-on, he moved forward and back, letting the friction of her body drive his arousal. This position gave her the perfect view of his incredible body. She enjoyed the flush that covered his cheeks, licking her lips as she imagined tasting the slight tang of the sweat glistening on his chest. His breathing hitched and she knew he was close.
“Come on me.”
His unfocused gaze drifted to her face and he shook his head. “No. Not tonight.” He released her breasts, and she instantly felt the loss of his body heat as he moved away. She pressed her legs together, amazed to realize how aroused she was.
She heard the clinking of metal and glanced above her head in time to see him remove the cuffs. While she’d loved his bondage—and couldn’t wait to explore that concept with him more later—she was grateful for her freedom.
She ran her fingers through his thick hair and stroked his hard muscles. Jarod kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he placed his cock at the entrance to her body.
“I love being with you, Stephanie.”
She smiled and decided to hell with it when she felt the first tear slide down her cheek.
Jarod captured her gaze and held it as he pushed inside. She sighed with relief when he was buried to the hilt. She needed this. Needed him.
Resting on his elbows, Jarod held her face in his hands as he kissed her, his cock rocking in and out, the slow and steady pace more erotic than the hard thrusts she’d come to love. He was surrounding her with his body, his strength. Soon, she was trembling beneath him, her climax seeming to last forever.
She heard Jarod’s relieved cries as he came, filling her with his come, both of them clinging to each other as the sensual storm crashed over them.
Jarod moved to the side, taking Stephanie with him, neither of them ready to separate yet. They lay facing each other for several long minutes, neither of them sleeping or speaking.
Finally, Stephanie broke the silence. “This is nice.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Nice?”
She nodded, kissing him lightly. “Yep, it’s very nice.”
Giggling, she closed her eyes, letting sleep claim her. She was comfortable and warm in Jarod’s embrace and, for the first time ever, she was looking forward to the morning.
* * *
Jarod rolled over, the sun burning through his eyelids. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened his eyes.
Stephanie lay beside him, watching.
“Surprise,” she whispered.
He grinned, pulling her close. “Morning. Good thing you stayed. I have a big breakfast planned.”
“Oh yeah? Can I make a small request?”
He placed a quick kiss on the end of her nose. “Anything.”
“Can this be a clothing-optional breakfast?”
“Is there any other kind?”
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