31. Daisy
***Daisy***
Icouldn’t help staring at Max like he was an alien lifeform.
I was convinced he was going to ignore me when he rode past me on that sexy motorcycle but he’d come back to demand I go for a ride with him.
It just got weirder when we ended up at an ice cream shop.
He’d taken me on a ride to get ice cream.
I tilted my head as I tried to make sense of his new behavior.
He kept his eyes on his ice cream and sat there silently, as if I was just going to let everything go.
Not a chance. “So. Personality transplant?”
He shot me a scowl and finally met my gaze.
His pupils were small from the bright sun and I could finally see the full effect of his hazel eyes.
They were stunning; the gold ring on the inside so potent that I leaned in slightly without meaning to.
It didn’t help that those perfect hazel eyes were surrounded by the thickest, darkest eyelashes possible.
He ran a hand through his dark hair as I watched the way his arm flexed.
His muscles were on full display and were really showing up to work against my better judgement.
“Don’t make me regret this.” His voice was rough and his grip on his cone went tight enough to crush it. He swore and surprised me by dipping his head to lick up ice cream from his palm.
My body reacted, big time. I couldn’t not think about the way he’d licked me, about how strong his tongue was.
I must’ve made some sort of sound because Max looked up at me with an expression that threatened a really good time.
I crossed my legs under the table and focused on my own melting ice cream.
I couldn’t sit in silence for very long, low, so I found myself talking again. “You were avoiding me just this morning. What changed about today?”
He grunted. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Liar.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you, Daisy.” He stood up to throw the rest of his ice cream away. “I’m going to wash my hands.”
I rolled my eyes at his empty seat. Of course, he was running. It shouldn’t have mattered. I was already in a mess with Flynn and Wes; I didn’t need to invite Max into the folds. Yet I found myself watching for him.
Max came back just a minute later and when he sat down he looked stern but more open. “I’m sure Tyler told you plenty about me.”
Frowning, I nodded but kept my mouth shut. There was no way I was going to tell Max all the shitty things his brother said about him.
“Tell me.” His eyes narrowed when I shook my head. “Tell me what he told you about me. I want to know what you think about me.”
I took a few seconds to consider my options and Max took it the wrong way.
“Are you seriously still protecting him after what he did to you?”
I sat up and gave him a look that was just as condemning as his. “I’m not protecting him, jerk. I’m protecting you. He said some awful things, Max, and I know enough about Tyler now to doubt the source.”
The tops of his ears turned red. He looked away and ran both hands through his hair that time. “Tell me what he said. I can handle it.”
“He talked about growing up under you a lot. It seemed like his favorite thing was telling anyone who would listen about the older brother he considered a fuckup.” I swallowed around a surprising lump of emotion and looked out at the street.
“He said you were an addict and stole from the family. He said a lot of shit that I’m not going to repeat, Max.
When I met you that first time, I was positive of the person I was going to meet but you blew that out of the water.
You were nothing like the man Tyler painted you out to be. ”
“I was.” He stared past my head at something behind me and his shoulders rose higher with each word, a clear indicator that he was expecting the worse from me.
“I was an addict. Still am, I guess, but I’ve been clear for six and a half years.
As soon as I learned about Poppy, I gave up everything from my old life. ”
I was surprised but not horrified like he was clearly expecting me to be. “Okay. Congratulations on six and a half years, Max.”
“That’s it? You don’t have more to say?”
I shook my head. “No. Why would I? It’s a part of you, sure, but it’s not all of you. You’re the most controlled Calloway, Max. You’re damn near rigid. You’re the rock of the family now, no matter what you were before.”
“I’m not the rock of anything.”
I had to smile at that. “Max, you idiot, you’re the rock. You’re always there when someone needs help. You meet needs before your family even realizes they need something. You’re strong and silent so your brothers can do whatever and be whoever they are.”
He slowly shook his head. “If you knew the things I’ve done you wouldn’t look at me that way.”
“You don’t know me well enough to say that, Max. You can think what you want of yourself but you don’t get to use my imaginary response to shut me out.” I realized what I’d said and stammered. “I just mean-”
“You want in.” He said it quietly and in a way that felt even bigger and truer than I’d feared.
“No. I mean, yes, but… I shouldn’t. I can’t. You know? There are things…” I stopped and took a deep breath. “Jesus. I don’t get to want in and we both know it.”
“It’s for the best.” He took his turn looking out at the cars driving past. Some of them had their windows down and we got snippets of whatever they were listening to as they went.
“You’re a threat. No matter if I want it, or not, I can’t have that.
Not with you. I’ve worked too hard on my control to let it all go. ”
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to hear him confirm what I’d already said. I was finding out that I was much greedier than I’d ever acknowledged because I wanted all three of the brothers to want me. I blew out a slow breath, fighting for my own control. “Understood.”
Max jerked his head around and stared at my face with an intensity I couldn’t get away from. “Is it?”
Anger wormed its way in. “I said it was understood, Max. What more do you want from me? You don’t want me. I get it. I shouldn’t want you, either. The other night shouldn’t have happened. We’re clear. Okay?”
He stood up and motioned towards his bike. “Let’s go.”
Because I needed a minute and because I was angry, I shook my head. “I need to wash up first. Leave if you want to. I can get a ride.”
He let the words sit between us and didn’t bother doing anything with them. I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I washed my hands and lectured myself about how stupid I was being. It was embarrassing and I had to get a grip on my emotions.
Max was still there when I walked out of the shop. He raised his eyebrows at me and I ignored him as I climbed on. Holding him tight like the first time felt like a slap in the face so I lightly gripped his sides, just for him to grab my hands and yank me into his back.
“Hold on tight if you don’t want to crack your skull open.” He only started the bike once I was adequately wrapped around him. Then, over the roar of the engine, he yelled over his shoulder at me. “I want you, Daisy. That’s the whole problem.”
For the rest of that ride I fought to keep from smiling. Nothing could happen so I truly had nothing to smile about. Yet there I was, happy as a clam that the man I liked liked me back. Disgusting.