CHAPTER NINETEEN
Tommaso
Was it an addiction? I didn’t know, but as soon as Danica left, I wanted her back.
I needed her back. In my house, in my arms, in the places that made me happy. Because when she was there, I was even happier. She didn’t invade my space; she enhanced it. She made my comfort zones more comfortable, and I craved to have her in them for more than just the fleeting moments she was.
But that wasn’t realistic. She had a daughter, a business, and a life outside of my ranch with the horses, donkeys, and Portia.
Last night couldn’t have gone better. No, we didn’t have sex, but we slept together.
I held her all night long, felt her sigh, and fall into a deep sleep wrapped up in my arms. To me, that was more intimate than sex.
That was allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone else.
That was putting your trust in another person so that while you slept, you knew you were safe.
I didn’t take that honor lightly, and given her past, I knew that if we did have sex, she would need even more patience than ever.
I was anxious to see her again and hated that it wasn’t until three o’clock that day that she and Sam finally came over.
I was busy measuring the driveway with Cameron for the security gate, and he agreed that it wasn’t a terrible idea to put the gate further down than right at the top, in order to allow for people to come visit the horses.
“Is Francesca here?” Sam asked, rolling down her window, as she and Danica drove past Cameron and me.
Cameron frowned. “No, she’s playing with Amy and Cleo today. Sorry.”
Sam made a face of disappointment for a moment, then shrugged. “Next time.”
Amy was Trace Palmer’s daughter. He was a co-owner of the distillery with Cameron; and Cleo was Spencer Paxton’s daughter, who was also one of the four co-owners.
While I didn’t know too many islanders, I had met all the distillery dads through Cameron, and could confidently say they were stand-up guys. Good bread, in my opinion.
Danica’s eyes met mine, and a small, knowing smile curled the lips that I longed to kiss again. I gave her a simple wave, and then she drove down toward the barn.
Cameron smirked at me. “What’s going on there?”
“No idea what you are talking about,” I said, handing him the tape measure end. “No idea.”
His whiskey-colored eyes glittered with amusement as he walked away from me across the driveway. “All right then.”
We worked for another twenty minutes, mostly talking about the materials I’d need and how soon he could get them to me, then Cameron headed home and I made my way down to the barn where Sam was busy brushing Raven as Midnight scampered around them.
Danica was out in the yard with Mouse, brushing her there.
Mouse rarely ventured outside of her stall, let alone allowed anybody to touch her. So the fact that she stood there calmly, allowing Danica to brush her while the other horses munched on hay or nibbled grass, was truly shocking.
I didn’t go up to them but rather, stayed on the other side of the fence, just observing. Enjoying the sight of a woman I was growing to care for deeply, nurture a horse who desperately needed a connection.
Danica caught me watching them, and the same shy smile from earlier tipped her mouth.
“Gabrielle wants you to come over for dinner tonight,” she said, causing Mouse to swivel her big, gray head my way.
She didn’t startle though, just swished her black tail a few times before pivoting back to face into the field.
A prickle of unease raced up both of my arms. “Why?”
She smirked. “Because that’s what she does. She feeds people. It’s her thing. Her love language. She also wants you to meet Jagger and Maverick.”
“Why?” I asked again. I’d prefer to share a bed with Pinata than have dinner with a bunch of people I didn’t know. Not to mention, people who were close to Danica and would judge me.
“I get it,” she said, continuing to brush Mouse, and sending gray horse’s hair fluttering in the breeze like silver confetti.
Mouse was in desperate need of a good brushing and a bath.
She could also serve to have her mane braided.
Would she let Danica do that for her? “But, she wants to meet you. And Maverick is looking for something to do.” She snorted.
“He’s a retired pro-athlete millionaire like you, and he’s just looking for somewhere worthwhile to devote his time. ”
“Footballer?” I asked.
“Hockey. NHL. He had a major back injury this winter and decided to retire.”
I nodded. “I do not do well with crowds.”
“That’s why I told Gabrielle that the kids would have to eat elsewhere. She’s going to order them pizza, and they’re going to hang out at Raina’s place downstairs. It’ll just be grown-ups. My cousins, Maverick, Jagger, and hopefully you. Seven people total.”
I could see on her face that she really wanted me to come, and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint this sweet woman, even though I was already feeling nauseous about the whole situation.
“Jagger played football in college. But American football. He had to retire because of an injury too. So it’ll be just three injured athletes and four women who sell alcohol for a living.
And Gabs knows you’re a vegetarian, so she’s making something without meat.
” Mouse swiveled her head toward Danica, and Danica kissed her cheek.
She sputtered her lips. “You need a bath, filthy girl.”
Inhaling deeply through my nose, I zeroed in on that feeling I had earlier today when I woke up with Danica in my arms. That calming moment just as we both started to stir, everything was warm and hazy and my mind was at total peace. “I will come,” I finally said.
Her eyes lit up like two green gems. The clouds decided to part at that very moment, causing the sun to shine right down on her until she glowed. With hazel-green cat eyes and hair of gold, she really was a stunning woman. “Thank you.”
“Bella,” I simply said with a nod.
She glanced over at the hose hanging up against the wall. “You think this filthy, pretty girl will let me bathe her?”
I opened up the gate, well aware of Mouse watching my every move as I skirted around her and grabbed the nozzle. “You seem to be able to get anybody to do anything. I’m sure if anyone can get Mouse to have a bath, it is you, bella.”
Her mouth split into a wide grin of understanding, and she cupped Mouse’s cheek. “You hear that, baby girl? You’re going to get a bath. We’re going to get you all clean and pretty.”
Mouse whipped her tail around.
“I’ll go grab you the soap and scrub brushes,” I said, heading back into the barn, but not before I heard Danica say to Mouse. “I think he’s a keeper, don’t you?”
And hell, if it wasn’t impossible to keep the smile from my face for the rest of the day.
Or at least until I pulled into Danica’s driveway that night.
Nerves ran like psychotic hamsters through my body as I parked my truck next to the other big truck and turned off the ignition.
Lights were on in the house, and I could see shadows moving through some of the windows.
No blinds were drawn, but I was parked at an angle that prevented me from seeing directly inside.
While I understood why Gabrielle wanted to have me over for dinner, it also felt too soon.
Was this the way Americans did things?
Then again, Danica and I had spent every day together since meeting a little over a week ago, and parts of me were ready to make her a permanent fixture in my life. So maybe it wasn’t too soon.
The hollow pit of dread in my stomach said otherwise.
I did take a small dose of Ativan before I left the house, which was something my doctor said was okay to do in situations where I might feel more anxious than normal.
It was a low enough dose, and I’d been doing it long enough that I was safe to drive.
It just helped take the edge off my nerves and kept me from pitching into that deep well of unmanageable panic.
I didn’t think it’d kicked in yet though.
I sat there for another few minutes, breathing deeply in through my nose and out through my mouth. My eyes stayed closed, and I focused on nothing but my breath until all thoughts, the good and the bad, faded away to nothing but blurry images and faint indecipherable chatter in the background.
I could do this.
For Danica, I could do this.
The delight in her eyes when I agreed to come was enough to make me agree to walk across a mile of hot coals. And in some ways, this felt very similar.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I jolted in the driver’s seat, and my eyes flew open as my heart launched itself up my throat. Standing on the other side of my window was a woman I vaguely recognized. She cocked her head to the side, causing her thick, curly, brunette hair to fall in the same direction. “You okay?” she asked.
I nodded, reached into the passenger seat for the still-warm loaf of Italian bread I’d baked earlier today, and opened the door. “Si. Sorry. Just …”
She smiled warmly. “No need to apologize. I get it. I’m Naomi.”
“Tommaso. But just call me Tom.”
“Come on, Tom, let’s go eat.” She jerked her head toward the stairs that led to a small porch with a tall planter, heaving with daffodils. “Is that bread? Did you make it? God, it smells good.”
“Si. Si. Grazie.”
She opened the door without knocking. “Love the accent too. I’m a sucker for an accent.”
“Nay?” came a voice from deeper inside the house.
“Yo!” Naomi called out. “Tom’s here too.
” She removed her shoes, which I was relieved to see, and I followed suit.
Then I trailed behind her a short way through the foyer and into a wide, open-concept kitchen and living room with a very sophisticated but welcoming feel.
All the adults were there, standing and sitting at the enormous kitchen island, each with a glass of wine in front of them.