CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE #2
The security system was one that rivaled a Swiss bank now, and Cameron, Jagger, and Maverick helped me build a gate in a day.
The vet said Midnight was perfectly healthy, and the farrier didn’t think he needed shoes.
So besides my broken heart, everything on the property was back to normal and well-working order.
Portia grunted at me and pressed her trotter on my socked foot as I prepped my morning coffee.
“Si, si,” I said. “I will get your breakfast in a moment.” She could be impatient sometimes.
I was just putting down her oatmeal and blueberries when there was an alert on the security screen. Someone was at the gate. I checked the camera footage, and my heart stopped.
It was Danica.
I immediately granted her access and, with my heart now beating again—and wildly, went to the porch to greet her.
Portia was so curious to see who our new guest was that she actually abandoned her breakfast—completely out of character for her—and accompanied me.
Danica’s SUV came to a stop, and she hopped out, slamming the door and marching up to me, anger in her green eyes.
She’d never looked more beautiful.
“What did I do?” she demanded, standing on the ground while I stood four steps above her on the porch. Her hands landed on her hips, as she shook her head, waiting for my response. “Hmm? What did I do?”
“I … I don’t understand.”
“Come down here so I don’t feel like some peasant asking for the king’s permission.”
Fair enough.
I met her on the gravel. “I … I don’t understand,” I repeated. Portia was now grunting and wagging her tail around Danica, waiting for her customary greeting of ear and butt scratches.
Danica gave my pig a small greeting, then stood up again and locked her piercing eyes on me.
“You haven’t messaged me. You haven’t come by.
The day Midnight was taken, I knew emotions were high, and so was your anxiety.
So I gave you space. I gave you space to process and figure out your feelings.
But that was Monday. Today is Friday. Is this your way of ending things with me? ”
I blinked at her. “I … no. I … I thought you ended things with me.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I was a coward.”
“How were you a coward?”
“I shut down. My anxiety took over, and Clint McEvoy had to take charge. I accused you of being a distraction and the reason I didn’t hear the break-in. I said you weren’t important.”
“Yeah. You did. And that hurt.”
I glanced at the ground.
“But I know that I wasn’t a distraction.
It wasn’t my fault, and I am important.” She glanced skyward, as if asking the clouds for some patience, before focusing back on me.
“I am an adult, you know. I’m able to understand when people say things they don’t mean because they’re upset, scared, or overwhelmed.
I’ve done it too. All I needed from you was an apology.
An acknowledgment of the fact that you didn’t mean or believe the things you said. ”
“I am an adult too,” I argued. “But when something terrible happened, I froze. You don’t deserve someone like that.”
The way her head tilted and her eyes narrowed said she didn’t believe that for a second. “Get the fuck over yourself, Barone.”
Okay, well, I wasn’t expecting that.
“Adults freeze too. Adults have panic attacks. Adults have anxiety. But you know the difference between adults and kids? Kids feel okay asking for help. If they can’t reach a cup on the top shelf, they ask for help.
If they can’t find their missing shoe, they ask for help.
Because humans are not meant to be solitary creatures.
We are social creatures. We live in family groups for a reason.
We’re wolves, not cougars. When did society decide that adults needed to do everything on their own, otherwise, they’re cowards?
Hmm? You are a part of this island, and when something bad happened to you, people stepped up.
If a child got kidnapped, nobody would expect the parents to be organizing the search party.
They would expect the parents to be barely holding it together.
That’s the time for everyone else to step up.
Which we did. But nobody on this island thinks you’re a coward.
” Her brow lifted. “Except maybe for me, because you cut me out. Because you didn’t fight for us.
But not because you froze when something terrible happened. ”
I swallowed.
“I told you I loved you. And you said it back. Then you just … abandoned me. And at first, I thought you just needed time to process. So I gave you space. But then one day, two days, three days went by, and I realized it was more than that. And I need closure. If this is over, I need to hear it from your lips. I need you to tell me to my face that you don’t want this anymore. That you don’t want me.”
Her bottom lip wobbled, and she sucked in a stuttered breath through her nose while glancing skyward as tears welled up in her eyes.
“I’m a big girl, Tom. I can handle being dumped. But I refuse to be ghosted.” She met my gaze again, her jaw set and her nostrils flaring.
Blinking a few times, I took in her strength and how much it was wearing on her to hold herself together.
I don’t remember taking the few steps toward her, but a moment later, she was in my arms. “I’m sorry, bella,” I said into her hair as she gripped me tight, her fingers bunching in the fabric of my shirt behind me.
“I fucked up. I … I thought you were ashamed of me for behaving the way I did. For saying what I said to you. I thought your not coming over with Sam was your way of telling me you never wanted to see me again.” I pressed kisses to the side of her head, inhaling the delicious scent of her shampoo.
“I’m sorry, amore. So sorry. Forgive me.
Forgive this idiota. I never meant to hurt you. And I never will.”
“I love you,” she muffled into my shoulder as her body trembled against mine. “Of course I want to see you again. And you’re not an idiot. You just … made a mistake.” Her sigh of relief as I held her in my arms pulled one out of me as well, and we seemed to melt into each other.
I pressed a kiss to her temple and held her tighter. “You are too good for me, bella.”
“Stop saying that shit. No, I’m not. We’re human, and we screw up. Own it and do better.”
Holding her by the shoulders, but away from me so I could look into her teary eyes, emotion hung heavy in my chest, making it tough to take a full breath.
“I fucked up. I am sorry. You are not to blame. And I want to do better. If you’ll let me.
If you’ll give me a second chance. I’ll try to fix my anxiety.
I don’t want it to be a burden between us. ”
Her throat moved on a swallow as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.
“I’m not asking you to change, Tom. And you can’t fix anxiety.
Surely you know that. And I never implied that it was a burden.
All I need you to understand is that you don’t have to do this alone anymore.
Not the property, not the animals, not your anxiety, not your life.
Allow people—allow me—to help. Accept that we care and stop pushing us away. ”
Tucking a wayward strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, I cupped her jaw. “I love you, Danica.”
“Good. Because I love you, and my kid loves you, and I think if we can get through this, we could have a pretty wonderful life together.”
That made me smile. “I don’t think I’ve groveled enough yet.”
“Oh, I totally agree. I still need an apology for the fact that I had to come to you. You should have come to my doorstep with a boombox over your head and crawled on your hands and knees to beg for my forgiveness.”
My smile grew, and her eyes twinkled.
“I can still do that. I’ll do anything for you.”
“A promise like that is a good start on the groveling to-do list.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded.
“What else?”
Her left shoulder lifted, but her eyes flicked toward the door, then she scraped her top teeth over her bottom lip. “You’re a … creative man. I’m sure you can think of a few things.”
I had her over my shoulder and squeaking in surprise in less than a second.
I bounded up the porch steps and into the house, grabbing a banana off the counter and tossing one half of it on the floor at Portia and the other half into her princess bed.
Then, before my pig could follow us, I booked it to the bedroom and closed the door.
I collapsed on top of Danica on the bed, covering her and kissing her.
God, I’d missed her kisses.
I’d missed her softness and the sexy little noises she made as I raked my teeth over her jaw.
She lifted my shirt at the hem, and I rose enough so she could remove it.
Slowly, like we had all the time in the world, we unwrapped each other, until she was naked beneath me. I kissed down her body, swirling my tongue around each nipple, her navel, and between her thighs, loving the way she gasped and buried her fingers in my hair.
She parted her legs for me and I dove in, moaning when the first gush of her arousal flowed across my tongue. Fuck, I’d missed this too. The taste of her was unique and delicious, and I lapped it up, coaxing more out of her with each suck and flick.
She was coming into my mouth in minutes, and I drank her down as fast as I could, savoring that sweetness and opening my eyes just a little to watch her come undone.
She was gorgeous. Inside and out.
One of the strongest, yet gentlest women I’d ever met, and for whatever reason, she wanted me. She accepted me and challenged me and encouraged me not only to be myself, but to be the best version of myself.
When she started to descend from her climax, I removed my fingers from her pussy and climbed up her, taking her mouth with mine so she could taste her flavor on my lips.
She moaned as we kissed, sliding her tongue into my mouth and raking her nails down my back. She gripped my ass cheeks and encouraged me to slide home.
I did, and we groaned together in pleasure at finally being connected again.
Being with Danica, being inside Danica was like coming home.
She allowed me to be myself, to be vulnerable and to feel safe.
I didn’t have to hide my anxiety or fix it.
I just had to let her in, let her love me, and love her back in the best way I could.
And, fuck, did I ever love this woman.
My feelings for her came on hard and fast, and while I was terrified of them at first, now, they felt like the missing piece of me that I didn’t think was missing at all.
Her nails dug into my back as she lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around my waist, locking her ankles behind me. I rocked into her with measured thrusts, and loved the way she tightened her walls around me, like she didn’t want me to withdraw, not even an inch.
My love for her, my need for her, pushed me to that coveted height faster than I was ready for, but I held on, waiting for her to join me.
Her teeth found my shoulder, and she whimpered against my skin, begging me for more.
“Please, Tom. Oh god. Please.”
I’d give this woman anything and everything. She already had my heart, and I’d happily hand her my soul as well. She came here, with her heart in her hand, offering it to me, or asking me to let her go.
But I could never let her go. And I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to apologize or grovel enough to be worthy of such an angel, but I would spend the rest of my life trying.
“I’m … I’m so close,” she breathed, her nails digging even harder into my shoulders. “Oh god. Yes.”
“Come for me, bella.”
Releasing my back, she gripped me by the hair and brought my mouth to hers in a hard, bruising kiss. Then she let go. Her panting breath fled her nose, hitting my top lip as her entire body tightened beneath mine and she found her release.
That was all it took for me, and I poured myself inside of her, reveling in the way she squeezed herself around me. The way she deepened the kiss, and possessed me in every way.
I kissed her back, continuing to thrust into her as my lower belly tingled with pleasure and my balls tightened up against my taint. My cock pulsed inside of her, and my breathing became ragged.
When she started to come down from her high, we broke our kiss, she released her death-grip on my hair and lightly trailed her nails down my back, causing me to shiver a little.
We both laughed, and I pressed my forehead to hers. “Good start to an apology and groveling?” I asked.
“A good start, yeah.”
“I really am sorry. You make me want to be better. To do better. And even though I am an old dog, I promise I will still learn new tricks. You’ve already taught me that a community is better than being alone. And to accept help.”
“And to ask for it.”
“Si. And to ask for it.” Her nails raked my scalp, gentler this time, and I closed my eyes. “I was just a man before I met you. A man surviving.” I opened my eyes and met hers. “But now I am living. I am an islander, a friend, a lover, and a member of the community. Thank you.”
She smiled. “You’re pretty good at these apology things, Tommaso Barone.”
“Yeah? Should I make more mistakes so I can apologize more?” I rolled us over in the bed so she was on top of me. I slipped out of her, and I was sure we were making a mess in the bed, but I didn’t care.
She settled on top of my chest, making a pillow for her chin with her hands. “Maybe not mistakes, but I’m sure we can think of things you can apologize for. Like the patriarchy, global warming, and that plastic island in the middle of the ocean.”
“How are those my fault?”
“They’re not … directly. But you can still be sorry about them.” Her eyes twinkled with humor. I gripped her at the back of the neck and crushed her mouth to mine.
Breathless, we parted lips a moment later.
“So this is it then?” she asked.
I narrowed my gaze at her, a frisson of unease prickling in my belly. “What is it?”
“The start of our happily ever after?”
My grin hurt my face as I nodded. “Si, bella. If you will have this imperfect, anxious Italian wine snob. I think it is.”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t have you any other way.”