Chapter 23
Killian
It was late, but Killian was still awake. Wide awake.
Sleep hadn’t been kind to him this past week, not unless he was willing to down an unhealthy amount of whiskey.
There were too many empty spaces in his house, spaces that should have held Chase within them.
And of course, that empty pit in Killian’s stomach where the usual warm sense of rightness lay.
And since Killian wasn’t in any hurry to make himself into a maudlin alcoholic, he was both sober and, as he’d already established, wide awake.
He had ten minutes of Friday left. The first Friday in months that Chase Adler hadn’t been in his bed.
All because Killian had been a pushy asshole, demanding promises from someone who’d just been yelled at by his dick of a father.
Killian should have held his tongue. He should have been more patient. He definitely shouldn’t have stalked the boy today, let himself be seen by—
There was a knock on Killian’s door, so quiet he almost missed it.
Killian set down the book he’d been staring at blankly and rose from the couch, his heart pounding hard enough to escape from his chest. Because while theoretically it could have been Devon or Prince knocking, both of them would have texted first. There was no one else who would come over unannounced. No one except maybe …
Killian opened the door, locking his knees to keep from sagging into the wall.
“Chase.”
There was Killian’s beta, painfully handsome as ever, wearing a baseball cap and soft, worn athletic clothes, with a bag slung over his shoulder. The duffel Chase had started bringing over when he’d begun staying the night.
Killian tried not to read too much into that. He failed completely.
Chase smelled like baby alphas, not even an ounce of Killian’s pheromones to be found, but for once Killian didn’t mind, because he was here. On Killian’s doorstep.
Chase’s expression was smooth and placid, without a hint of what he might be thinking underneath. “Sorry I didn’t text first.”
“Come in.” Killian tried to make it sound like a request, but it came out like a desperate, barking command instead.
Chase’s lips quirked up at the corners the slightest bit, and then he stepped inside.
Killian made room and then closed the door, locking it behind them. He was doing his best not to give off the feral energy of an alpha about to kidnap his beta and force him to stay forever. He was no doubt unsuccessful.
Chase set his bag down in the entryway and straightened, looking to the couch. “Can we sit?”
They could do whatever the fuck Chase wanted—stand on their heads and have an upside-down tea party—as long as it meant Chase stayed the night.
Killian inclined his chin. “Of course.”
He strode to the couch and sat down, feeling an odd sense of role reversal: Killian obeying Chase’s orders for once, even if they’d been expressed as requests. And despite that request, Chase remained standing. He glanced down at the book Killian had been failing to read, brows lifted.
“Any good?”
Killian didn’t look away from Chase’s face. “I have no fucking idea.”
Chase huffed a soft laugh and stepped closer and then closer again, until he was wedged between Killian’s spread knees. He took his cap off, setting it carefully on the coffee table.
Killian waited. He didn’t push or command or whisper a single one of the endearments crowding his throat. He’d learned his fucking lesson for the moment.
Chase took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t text,” he said afterward. “Not just tonight. This whole week.”
“I told you to take your time.”
Chase cocked his head. His green eyes were unbearably soft. “That was hard for you, wasn’t it?”
It had been excruciating. Killian cleared his throat. “I wanted you to be sure.”
Chase’s fingers clenched at the soft material of his pants, then released.
“It wasn’t about being sure. It was about …
wanting something so badly and having to say it out loud.
Having to ask for it and trust that you would—that you would care.
” His cheeks had gone pink, the color traveling down his neck.
“That you would care enough to give it to me.”
Killian clenched his own hands into the couch cushions, holding himself back from lunging forward. “I want to give you everything you want.”
“I know.” Chase took another deep breath.
He placed one knee on the couch. Then the other.
He straddled Killian’s lap and held himself there, with his perfect athlete’s posture.
He cupped Killian’s face, his fingers warm against Killian’s skin.
His expression was still calm, but his eyes were bright and burning.
“And I do want it. I want it all. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to live here one day, and that feels like it’s too soon to say, but I’m saying it anyway.
I want to wake up every morning, and I want you to make me breakfast. I want to come home to you at night, and I want you to break me down and put me back together over and over again.
I want to be clingy and needy, and I want you to handle it.
I want you to tell me I’m good, and I want you to mean it. ”
It was everything Killian had been dying to hear, and the relief that flooded through him was so powerful it hurt. He was so fucking proud of his sweet boy for opening up, for telling Killian all his wants and wishes.
“You are good,” Killian said gruffly. “You’re perfect.”
Chase shook his head with another of those soft, lovely laughs. “I’m not perfect.”
Killian would beg to fucking differ, but he didn’t push the point. “I’m not either,” he said instead. “I’m pushy. Demanding. Greedy.”
Chase grinned, a flash of white teeth that took Killian’s breath away. “Yes.”
“You don’t mind.”
“I like that about you. I think I need it. I need you to want me so badly that you make it painfully obvious.” Chase shifted forward, his perfect, muscular ass brushing against Killian’s cock.
“I crave it. I wake up every day craving you. So let’s just do the whole thing. Because that’s what I want. All of it.”
And then he was kissing Killian, and Killian couldn’t hold back any longer.
He was all tongue and teeth and desperation.
He couldn’t stop cupping Chase’s throat, gripping his shoulders, pressing against him chest to chest. He was so hungry.
Hungry for Chase. Hungry for more. But just for a moment, this had to be enough, ravenous as he was.
Having his beta back in his lap. In his arms.
Or at least Killian tried to let that be enough.
Eventually he couldn’t wait another second, and he broke the kiss, nuzzling against Chase’s neck. Scent marking him like he’d been dying to do since Chase had walked in that door.
Chase tilted his head to give Killian better access. “I’m surprised you held off this long.”
“I was trying to be considerate,” Killian grumbled, licking at the warm skin displayed in front of him, just because he could.
“My family—” Chase began.
“I’m your fucking family.”
Killian said the words too loud. Too mean.
More growl than any coherent speech. He took a breath and leaned back, meeting startled green eyes.
Did Chase really still not understand what he did to Killian?
“I mean, I could be,” Killian amended, trying to sound like a more reasonable man. “If you’ll let me.”
Chase kissed him again, sucking on Killian’s tongue sweetly like the good fucking boy he was.
It was a long time before he broke away again.
“I’ve kept them blocked, but I’m going to undo it soon,” he told Killian breathlessly.
“I’m going to try and have a conversation. And—and I’m going to start therapy.”
“Good.” This was important information, and Killian was not going to be distracted by Chase’s erection rubbing against his through their clothes. “Therapy. Very healthy.”
He couldn’t stop kissing Chase’s neck. Had he said kissing was enough? It wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough.
Luckily for Killian’s sanity, Chase seemed to agree.
He lifted his arms so Killian could get rid of his soft, worn shirt.
And then they maneuvered awkwardly, attempting to take off the rest of their clothes with Chase remaining in Killian’s arms as much as possible, stealing kisses from each other after every lost item.
And then Chase was naked on Killian’s lap, rubbing on him like he was just as hungry as Killian was, sliding their hard cocks together, hot skin against hot skin.
Killian couldn’t stop fucking kissing him. Chase tasted minty and fresh, like he’d brushed his teeth right before coming over—which he probably had, polite and conscientious to the end.
Killian cupped Chase’s bare ass, greedy fingers exploring.
He paused at what he found: Chase ready for him, hot, wet, and slick.
“Oh, sweet boy,” Killian sighed into the beta’s mouth. “You came prepared.”
Chase pulled back to smile at him with glazed eyes. “I missed it.” He pushed back, silently urging Killian for more. “I missed you.”
Killian pressed a thick finger into that prepped channel, groaning at the tight squeeze. “You need me to fuck you, baby?”
Chase nodded frantically, already rocking against the intruding digit. “Yes. Yes.”
Killian added another finger, sliding them in and out again, over and over, just for the pleasure in being allowed.
“You’re going to come with my cock inside you,” he promised.
“And then my mouth on you. Because I’ve fucking missed the way you taste.
And then I’m taking you to my bed and doing it all over again. ”
“Yes, yes, yes.”
Killian gripped his rigid, aching cock at the base, holding it steady. “Come here,” he ordered.
Chase rose onto his knees until he was hovering over Killian’s cock, then slowly lowered. Each inch was torturously won, and he pressed his forehead against Killian’s, each of them panting into the other’s mouth.