CHAPTER THREE #3
“Hello,” greeted a sweet little old lady with white hair, purple-rimmed cat eye glasses, and a floral blouse. “I take it you’re from the ferry that was supposed to dock at San Camanez?”
“Yes,” Raina and I said at the same time, then glared at each other.
“Well, you’re in luck. We have one room left. It has a queen-sized bed. I hope that’s okay?”
“Oh, no. We’re not together,” Raina blurted out. “Absolutely not together. No way. I would never be with him. Are you sure you don’t have something else available? A barn he could sleep in? A covered porch, maybe? A doghouse, perhaps?”
I deepened my glare. “Excuse me? I got here first.”
“Oh, I’m afraid we’re full except for the honeymoon suite. You’re welcome to it, but that’s all we have.”
“Go somewhere else, McEvoy,” Raina gritted through her teeth. “Be a gentleman for once.”
“I’m always a gentleman, to humans. You, are a demon. So,” I turned to the B&B owner, “I’ll take the room, please.” I pulled my credit card out of my wallet.
Raina did the same. “I’ll take the room, please.”
We both smacked our cards onto the counter. The little old lady’s watery, blue eyes bounced back and forth between us. “Do you two know each other?” she asked.
“Like a cow knows a fly,” I said. “She’s just a constant irritation that I’d love nothing more than to swat.”
Pink flooded Raina’s cheeks, and she bunched her fists. If she wasn’t so waterlogged, she’d have probably stomped too. “I’ll pay extra for the room,” she said. “Double.”
“I’ll pay triple,” I countered, inching my credit card closer to the woman behind the desk.
“You know, we have lots of pillows and blankets. One of you could sleep on the floor.”
I turned to the woman in the floral blouse. “What’s your name, please, ma’am?”
“Uh … Lenora.”
I extended my hand toward her, and she took it.
I was careful not to crush her brittle bones, but I also didn’t give her a feeble shake.
“Beautiful to meet you, Lenora. I’m Jagger.
Jagger McEvoy of San Camanez Brewery, and I would be more than happy to hook your gorgeous little establishment up with free beer for a year if you let me take this room. ”
“Are you trying to bribe your way into getting the room?” Raina accused, plunking her hands on her shapely hips.
“I’m a businessman trying to negotiate a business deal. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, the lovely Lenora and I have things to discuss.” I attempted to step in front of Raina, but she shoved me out of the way, the scent of seawater and vomit from her hair making me gag.
“Well, I’m Raina Aaronson from the Westhaven Winery on San Camanez, and we’d love to hook you up with two years of free wine if you’d let me have the room.”
“Now who’s trying to bribe?” I retorted.
Raina glared at me, her top lip curling just a little, reminding me of a cornered, wet cat.
I leaned onto the counter, giving Lenora—who was probably closing in on eighty—my most charming smile. “Is there a Mr. Octopus Point Inn, Lenora?”
“Are you going to whore yourself out and offer sexual favors for a room, you big slut?” Raina suggested, staring at me with her mouth open like a codfish.
I scoffed and gave her a harsh look. “Only you would assume that. I’m simply trying to get to know Lenora better.”
Grasping at soggy paper straws at this point, Raina leaned over the counter, giving Lenora a big smile. “Or is there a Mrs. Octopus Point Inn? Jagger here just assumes you’re straight. But we all know sexuality is a spectrum.”
I shook my head. “Such a fucking hypocrite! Now who’s the big slut?”
“Enough!” Lenora hollered. “I can offer you both the room, or neither of you. But I’m not going to stand here and listen to any more.
Either take it or leave it. And for the record, there was a Mr. Octopus Point Inn, and he left me for Mrs. Sea Breeze Cabins.
And if you knew better, you wouldn’t bring it up. ”
My mouth dropped open. So did Raina’s.
Lenora glowered at us both, seeming to have grown at least a foot in height just from yelling.
“Kill each other, or add to the population. I don’t care.
Just don’t damage anything and don’t disturb the other guests.
” She took both of our cards. “I’ll split the room between the two of you.
That way, you’re both on the hook for any damages. ”
“Thank you,” Raina and I both murmured, utterly chastised and staring at our sodden shoes.
Two brass keys were placed on the counter before us. “Breakfast is served in the dining room between seven-thirty and nine-thirty. Checkout is at noon. If you need to stay another night, let me know by ten.”
I lifted my gaze to find Lenora giving Raina and I both a very stern, very motherly, very disapproving look. She sniffed the air and made a face, then focused her attention on Raina. “Not one to be cruel, my dear, but you stink. Best you have a shower before bed.”
I smothered my chuckle with my hand, then nodded at Lenora. “My apologies, Lenora. You won’t hear a peep out of us. I’ll just go grab my bag from the truck.”
I could feel Raina’s glare on me as I made my way back outside into the storm. The heat of it on my back was probably the only warm thing about me—and for once, I welcomed it.
One night, one bed, in a small bed-and-breakfast room with Raina Aaronson was the definition of my own personal hell.
I made sure to grab a bunch of beer along with my bag before I headed back inside.
Because if I had to suffer through a night with that ice queen, I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it sober.