16. Diana
Diana
It's my last night here in Los Cabos and I can't help but feel a wave of sadness settle over me. This past week has been one of the best weeks of my life and I know that it's all because of Luca. I'm not sure that I'm ready to leave him behind, making me feel like I should consider retirement more.
Luca even took me to dinner at his parents’ restaurant tonight, where his family tells funny stories and the food has been amazing. The night is passing by quickly.
I'm sitting at a booth with one of his sisters and a cousin when Luca comes up and asks, "Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah," I say, getting up from the table. Luca places his hand out and I take it as we walk outside to his car.
While we're driving back to the resort, Luca seems tense.
My mind races wondering what could have happened that is making him seem standoffish.
I try to replay the night, seeing if I can think of anything that could've gone wrong when he asks, "Is it okay if I take you to one more spot before we go back? "
"Sure," I say.
One second later, he's pulling off the side of the road. I look out of the windshield and my breath stills in my chest. "Gosh, this view is so beautiful," I murmur.
"I have quite a few favorite places, but this is where I come when I want to think," he tells me.
"Well, I can see why," I say looking out at the dark ocean, listening to the waves crash along the shoreline.
That's when Luca turns toward me, his eyes looking glossy as he starts. "I have something I want to tell you."
"Okay," I whisper.
"This week has been amazing."
"It has," I agree, nodding.
Gripping my hands, he pulls me closer to him as he continues, "I'm not ready to let you go. I was thinking that we should try this. We will figure out all the details and everything else later."
Tears spring to my eyes as I listen to him asking me to try having a relationship with him, but every reason why this won't work springs to my head.
A heavy weight sits on my chest, as I shake my head, I go to open my mouth to tell him why we can't do this, when he stops me by placing his finger over my lips. "Don't tell me no. Just think about it."
"The problem is that I don't really need to think about it. I live in Los Angeles and you live here. Besides I'm too old for you. It won't work out. Basketball is my love, there’s just no room for anything or any one else."
Luca places his hands on my cheeks framing my face as he pleads. "You don't know that. Besides age is nothing. We could figure it out."
I pull away from him, not wanting to be touching him when I tell him how I feel. "Luca. This week was amazing, but it won't work. There are just too many obstacles."
I open the door to the car and get out quickly before Luca can stop me. I notice that we are not far from the resort, and I run as fast as I can without thinking.
Before I know it, I'm back in my room and locking the door. I 'm finally able to breathe once again. I pray that Luca doesn't try to come after me, because it took everything in me to tell him no. If he comes back, I'm not sure I will be able to hold my ground.
The tears keep coming and I can't seem to stop them. Having to make decisions that could affect my life in such a drastic way, is all too much for me. I walk into the bathroom to wash my face, hoping it helps to calm me. When it doesn't do the job, I start packing, wondering if Luca will try again. Even though I just told myself it wasn’t what I wanted, I’m secretly hoping he comes after me. He doesn’t.