Chapter Nine Finn #2
After class, I’m in my office going through some reports.
My flip through the trail cams doesn’t show anything unusual, but my heart catches when I check the observation tower cameras and see a familiar blue Mustang.
It can’t be. I race out of headquarters and run down the trail that will take me to the tower—and hopefully to Shelby.
My heart is pounding, and not just from the run.
Then it’s sinking in disappointment because she’s not there.
I can tell from the dust that I just missed her.
Was she here hoping to see me? Or just to find the peace she was searching for two days ago?
How the hell was it only two days ago? It feels like a lifetime.
So much love and hurt in forty-eight hours.
Now I want only the love for the next forty-eight years minimum. I pray she wasn’t here to say goodbye.
Shoulders slumped, I walk back to headquarters and formulate a plan.
I need to make up for jumping to conclusions.
I smugly thought I had grown and matured from my time on the show, but I was still letting the lingering doubts, the whispers about Shelby’s ill intentions, and my residual insecurity shadow my reactions.
It wasn’t fair to her. Shelby was willing to talk to me, and I wouldn’t listen to her.
Poison Ivy is still screwing with my life. She doesn’t deserve that kind of power. It’s time to take those weeks out by the roots and get my power back.
“C’mon Marsha, if we’re going to get Shelby back, you have to help.
” I can’t believe I’m trying to coerce my cat to make a video for social media.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
“All I need you to do is react to Shelby’s video.
Tell her you miss her. Tell her I’m an idiot. I’ll handle the rest.”
Her response is a tail flick and a narrowing of golden eyes.
I assume cats can’t roll their eyes because if Marsha could, she would.
She’s giving every ounce of teenage female possible.
It doesn’t matter the species; it’s something that comes naturally.
She gives a sigh and sits on the table in front of my laptop, looking over her shoulder at me with a “let’s hurry up and get this over with” vibe.
“Okay, here we go.” I hit play and hold my phone up to record. Shelby’s video from today fills my screen, and Marsha stretches forward to look at it more closely.
“Hey, friends.” Shelby’s voice is warm, and Marsha gives a little chirp in response.
Shelby is in her car, and I can tell by the view out the windows that she’s in the parking area by our tower.
It’s no longer the Gull Pond observation tower, it’s our tower.
If I can get a plaque put on it, I will.
Her hair is in a ponytail, and she has minimal makeup on.
She’s my Shelby, not the Shelby with the fake lashes and full makeup.
She’s beautiful then too—I think she’s always beautiful and however she wants to present herself is fine by me—but this is my favorite.
“Checking in. I’m doing well.” Her smile seems genuine, but I detect a hint of sadness in her green eyes.
I feel like a jerk, hoping it’s because of me and not because of our mutual exes.
“I wish Konner and Ivy all the happiness they deserve.” I bark out a laugh at that.
She seems so sincere, but I can hear the subtle snark and it makes me love her even more.
Marsha makes a sound like she’s going to hack up a furball.
“I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life and what’s important to me.
I’ve been so fortunate to have the opportunities and sponsorships I’ve had.
Gratitude is not a big enough word to encompass what I feel.
For now, I’m stepping away from sponsorships and other scheduled commitments.
I’ll still be posting when the mood strikes, but they’ll be different types of videos.
I realize some of you may not be interested and will unsubscribe, and that’s okay.
” She takes a deep breath and blinks a couple of times in rapid succession like she’s trying to hold back tears.
“The past few years have taught me that there are seasons to life and relationships. Sometimes we are in the right place at the wrong time. Sometimes we need to move on to grow. It’s okay.
Sometimes you need to trust that fate or the universe will put you where you need to be.
And sometimes you need to accept that no matter how much you want something or how much you love someone, it’s not meant to be, and you’ll be okay. I’m okay.”
The video goes black for a moment but picks back up, and Shelby is at the top of our tower.
She’s wearing my Bigfoot Hide-and-Seek Champion ball cap, and it makes me smile.
I like that she kept a tangible piece of me.
She already has my heart. Now she has my hat too.
She can have anything—everything—I own. Well, not Marsha.
We’ll have to have joint custody of my baby girl.
Marsha is purring up a storm and rubs her cheek against Shelby’s face on the screen before sitting back on her haunches to continue watching.
“When I was a girl, I spent a lot of time hiking with my grandparents, bird-watching and appreciating nature. It’s been years since I’ve done anything like that.
I miss it. And it’s important to me to reconnect with my love of nature, so I’m going to share my favorite birds with you, or a beautiful tree, or whatever is making me happy.
I’m doing this for my soul, and I’m welcoming you to share it with me.
But if it’s not for you, that’s okay. I wish you the best, and I thank you for the time we spent together.
” She takes a deep breath and scrunches her mouth like she’s trying to decide whether to say the next part or not.
I can see the serenity and the resolution slip into her eyes.
A lump forms in my throat.
“I’m okay being alone,” she says finally.
“I’m more than okay. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t cherish me for the treasure I am.
A dear friend has helped me see that when you’re with the right person, they will love you for who you are.
You don’t need change to fit in the mold they want.
And sometimes that right person needs to be yourself. ”
Marsha nods her head in apparent agreement and gives a throaty “mrrww”.
The camera pans away from Shelby’s beautiful face and out over the water.
The ducks are there again. I remember her saying she was like a duck, serene above the water but paddling like mad underneath, trying to keep up.
I want her to be like the eagle we saw. Majestic and soaring.
I’ll do whatever’s necessary to help her take flight.
I edit the video and add captions, tagging Shelby and uploading before I talk myself out of it.
I’m making a fool of myself and stepping back into the spotlight, but if that’s what I need to do to win Shelby’s love, it’s worth it.
I don’t want to regret not doing everything I can to keep her this time.