Six
BALDWIN HOLLOWS
That radio show went pretty well for me and seeing Tatum’s reaction to me telling all the listening areas that I’m married made me feel pretty good.
“I meant every word that I said.” She turns to see me standing behind her.
“I’m nothing more than a challenge to you right now. Sign the divorce papers and we can go our separate ways,” Tatum tells me.
“Give me the next two weeks to prove to you that I’m serious about us. Please?” I beg her.
“Win, what are you trying to prove? You told the world that you’re married and want to work on our marriage. So what? You don’t want to be a liar, is that it?”
“Tatum, when are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that you are my world?”
“I’ve been here the whole time. What changed now?” she asks me. What has changed? I ask myself. “See, I’m just a challenge and you hate losing.”
“I’ve always wanted you, but now we’re on the same tour bus and you can’t run away from me,” I smirk. Tatum rolls her eyes.
“You’re an ass. I’ll try to give you the two weeks, but when I say it's over, you sign the divorce papers.”
“Deal.” I hold out my hand for her to shake, and she reluctantly takes it. “Thank you.” Tatum grabs her camera bag and answers her ringing phone. As she turns her back to me, I smile.
“Oh boy. I know that smile.” Christopher stands beside me, staring at Tatum on the phone. “What are you up to?”
“I’m getting my wife back. She promised to give me two weeks to fix our marriage. I’m not going to let her get away again.”
“Why did she leave in the first place?” Christopher asked me.
“She keeps telling me that I cheated on her. I have only been with Tatum. I will never be with anyone else. Hell, my wedding ring has never been off my finger.”
“I know all of this, but why would she think that you cheated?” Christopher is my best friend. We were inseparable growing up. He knows me better than I know myself most days.
“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that one out. I hope to sit down and hash it all out. I need my wife back. Tatum makes me a better man.”
“I know she helped you with our songs too,” Christopher reminds me. She’s off the phone. “You need to let her know that you’re here to fight.”
“I’m going to do just that.” I bump his shoulder. Tatum walks right over to us.
“Sorry about that. My mom had a couple questions.” She smiles.
“How is your mom?” Christopher and I ask at the same time, making her laugh.
“You two were always in sync. I often got jealous about that because I didn’t have that with you, Win.”
“You had something much more important than I ever could.” Christopher looks at Tatum all serious and says, “His last name.” The three of us laugh.
“Shut up.” Tatum playfully slaps Christopher. “What is next on the schedule?” Tatum asks.
“Breakfast and then heading over to Colosseum for soundcheck,” I tell her. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I need to post little snippets on the blog, so I need to get to somewhere I can have access to the internet.”
“Okay. Let’s eat. You can post pictures of what Nick calls eating.
” We are all in the elevator together. You could hear a pin drop.
Tatum coughs and cracks her neck. I stare at her neck, remembering us fucking up against her wall.
I never did look to see if there was a shape of her body in that wall.
We haven’t fucked like that in years. I know she felt the connection.
Once we are in our separate cars, it’s just Tatum and me.
I start the car and begin to back out. When I turn my head to the right, those beautiful brown eyes are staring at me.
“Yes?” I ask her as I put the car in drive.
“How is it that you turn me on when all I want to do is hate you?” Tatum waits for an answer.
“It’s a simple answer, baby. We love each other. Our sex is on two levels, hearts and flowers or pounding you into the wall. It was never in the middle for us,” I tell her.
“Is that why you cheated on me, because we couldn’t be a normal couple when it comes to sex?” Tatum’s words are like a knife to my gut.
“Cheated on you?” I pull over. “Why do you keep saying that? I’ve never had sex with anyone but you,” I defend myself.
“I have the video!” Tatum cries. She gets out of the car quickly.
“I can’t do this. When I get fired, I’ll find something else.
I’ll move in with my mom. Just sign the divorce papers so we can move on with our lives.
I can’t keep loving you.” Tatum walks towards the street. I run after her, telling her to wait.
“What video? Is this why you left the tour and changed your number?” I question her.
I can see that for the last three years she’s been hurting over this video.
“I swear on my mother that I’ve never had sex with anyone else.
” Tatum looks up at me with mascara running down her face.
She looks in her purse and pulls out her cell phone.
Tatum shows me an email address that I don’t recognize, then plays the video.
It’s a woman on top of a man, but you never see his face as she’s grinding on him.
I throw up watching the first few seconds of this video..
I see an arm of a man who has tattoos just like mine.
I try to zoom in closer, but I can’t with the video.
Something doesn’t look right. I keep looking at my arm.
I know all the guys and I have the same tattoo on our right arms, the band logo of an electric guitar with a lightning bolt behind it.
We got them when we turned sixteen. We thought we were the coolest kids out there, but I’ve since added to my arm.
“Tate, I don’t know what to tell you, but this isn’t me. Yes, the arm looks like mine, but something also looks off to me. I need you to believe me.”
“I’m supposed to take your word for it, when I’ve watched this video over and over again.
It’s you, Baldwin!” Tatum starts punching on my chest. “You betrayed me. How am I supposed to be okay with you on tour with all those women throwing themselves at you? I can’t.
I want to be free of you, Baldwin. Release me, please.
” When I hear those words as she punches me, I can’t help but cry with her.
I try to hold her close to me, but she struggles in my arms.
“Baby.” Tatum looks at me. “I’ve loved you from the first minute I laid eyes on you.
I can’t imagine life without you. As long as we were married, I knew that I could do anything and be anything.
I love you as much as I did at our wedding, maybe more.
I understand and will honor your wishes.
You believe a video is me without even talking to me or figuring out what happened.
I’ll sign the papers. They’re in the car.
” I let Tatum out of my arms as I walk to the car.
Once I’m there, I grab the divorce papers and sign them.
I bawl my eyes out once I hand them to her.
“Please continue the tour. I won’t try to win you over.
I can fake a smile for the camera. I’ve been doing it for the last two years, so what’s two more weeks.
” I get in the car as Tatum stands there shaking, the signed divorce papers in her hands.
I rest my head on the headrest, trying to calm my emotions. I pull out my phone.
Me: I’m going to meet you at the soundcheck. I need some time to myself.
Chris: You okay?
Me: No. It’s over. I signed the papers.
Chris: You shouldn’t be alone right now.
Me: I need to go for a run. I’ll be at the Colosseum running.
The passenger side door opens. “I’ll do my job.” Tatum sniffs.
“Fine,” I say to her with no emotions in my voice.
I don’t know what hurts more, Tatum believing that I cheated on her all these years or that she didn’t believe me even when I swore on my mom.
I navigate through the city and once I make it through this horrible rush hour traffic, I pull up to the tour bus.
One of the crew members returns our rentals for us.
“I’ll get you set up on the bus. I’m going for a run. ”
“Okay.” I could barely hear her. I show her to the end of the bus.
“This is where we usually sleep. We all rotate out so we can have a bedroom instead of a bunk, but I’ll take the bunk and you can be here.
Follow me. Here is the bathroom. We usually shower at the hotels that we book, unless we’re on here for a few days, then we stop at truck stops to shower.
” She nods. “Here is the kitchen. If there’s something you want special, let Stuart know.
He usually does the shopping before we leave a city.
” I let her check out the kitchen area. “I’m going to go for a run.
The guys will be back soon.” I go into the bedroom where she’s staying and change quickly.
I grab my stuff to put in my bunk for the next two weeks.
I leave Tatum alone on the bus as I run, feeling the burn in my chest and legs.
I pound the pavement, trying to get my head on straight for this tour.