Chapter Twelve
S pence gave Hayley not one, but two encores—a personal record. Then they’d fallen asleep with arms around each other and legs tangled together. When he woke a few hours later, sunlight was streaming into the bedroom through the curtainless window.
Did life get any better than this, waking up with this woman in his arms, breathing in the sweet scent of shampoo and rain from her hair?
Yes. It would be a lot better if she reciprocated his feelings. The fact that she’d insisted on the condom told him that she’d accepted that he wouldn’t father her child under the circumstances she’d laid out—although, yeah, getting pregnant on the first go wasn’t likely, but still, as near as he could tell, it happened with alarming frequency.
He heard the faint sound of his phone buzzing in the kitchen, where he’d left it the night before after making certain it hadn’t gotten soaked like everything else he’d had on. Fortunately, the high-tech sandwich bag he’d stored it in seemed to have done its job, because it was ringing.
Spence eased himself out of Hayley’s embrace. She stirred, then rolled over and dropped an arm over the pillow he’d just abandoned. Spence eased out of bed and strode naked into the kitchen.
“Millie.”
“That job we talked about yesterday morning. It’s a go.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Let me give you the details,” she said on a satisfied note.
After jotting a few particulars on the back of Hayley’s grocery list, he ended the call. Okay. This was his life. He’d tried to return home. The folks and Reed seemed to love having him there, but he wasn’t needed. Not with Henry and Cade both still there.
You’re needed.
Right—in some ways, but not in others. He wanted to be needed in all ways.
He went to the door that Hayley had come out of the previous evening when they’d met in the living room. It led to a set of stairs that in turn led into darkness. He snapped the string on the overhead light and made his way down to the washer and dryer hugged against the far wall.
His clothes were dry, and he carried them back upstairs and down the hall to Hayley’s bedroom. She pushed herself up on her elbows as he came through the door, her eyes heavy with sleep. Her welcoming smile faded as she saw that he was carrying his clothing.
“Are you leaving?”
“I have another job.”
She sat up straighter, not bothering to pull the sheet over her breasts, thus messing with Spence’s concentration, but he manned up and asked the question that had been niggling at him for the past several minutes.
“Last night you said that you wanted me to realize I was needed.”
She gave a slow nod.
“I thought you were talking sex.” He tilted his head. “Were you?”
His heart began to beat harder as he waited for her to reply. Not faster, just harder. Knock-against-his-ribs hard.
“No.”
“Explain.”
If Hayley was put off by the one-word demand, she didn’t show it. She gathered the sheet in front of her as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Back to my hypothesis.” She pressed her mouth into a thoughtful line, as if wanting to make sure she got it right when she spoke. “You were sandwiched between a wild older brother and a rambunctious set of twins.”
“Em was rambunctious. Cade was the sidekick.”
“But they were twins.”
“Yes, and you’re right. I was not the center of attention. I think we covered this before?”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t want to be the center of attention,” Hayley said as if he hadn’t spoken, “but you also didn’t want to be squeezed out.”
“What’s your point, Hayley?”
“So you come home to help, and you’re squeezed out again. Henry won’t quit. Cade comes home. You’re not needed, so you’re back on the road. Doing a job a lot of people can’t or won’t do because of the travel. You’re needed there. You do it because it fulfills a need.”
Spence opened his mouth to tell her that she was wrong. Of course she was wrong.
Except... it made perfect sense. Hayley’s theory explained why he, a guy with a stellar upbringing and family life, didn’t put down roots.
He’d gone where he was needed.
“Psychobabble,” he muttered, then glanced up to see that she was smiling at him.
“Want to hear some psychobabble about me?”
He did what he’d told himself he wasn’t going to do and stretched out on the bed again, wondering if this was the last time his naked body would mold to hers. Hayley draped an arm over him, and he draped a leg over her. If his dick had any say in the matter, they’d soon be a lot closer than they currently were, but it wasn’t time. It wouldn’t be time until after he heard Hayley’s side of the psychobabble.
“Sure.”
“You want to take a guess first?” she asked as she traced a finger over his lower lip. He couldn’t help but nip it, and she smiled.
He smiled back and stroked his hand over her hair, loving the silky feel of the deep-red strands. “Because of your mom, you’re afraid of relationships.” That was Hayley 101.
“And my dad never remarried, or even dated, so I figured he’d been too devastated to try and find another partner. That a single bad relationship had soured him on all. But... what if I’m wrong? What if he simply preferred the simplicity of being single? I know I enjoy it.”
Spence’s stomach knotted, but he held her gaze and nodded, indicating that she should continue.
“But while the simplicity is nice, it also gets a touch lonely. And I want a family, so I think the simplicity aspect is not a valid argument, because families do not lend themselves to simplicity.”
“I can speak from experience on that one,” Spence said.
Hayley pushed herself onto an elbow. “Relationships scare me, Spence. I’ve never seen a good one.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“But . . . I’m smart.”
He nodded.
“I can learn.”
A bubble of hope started to rise inside of him. “You are good at learning.”
“I overcame shyness.”
“You did.”
“So... I can learn to be a partner. To handle the ins and outs and day-to-days of being with someone without expecting things to end badly at any moment.”
“I know you can.”
“I could survive a bad breakup.” She spoke in a determined voice. “If such a thing happened, I could be a rock for my kid if there was one. Like my dad was for me.”
Spence pulled her against him, stroking her hair and her back, then smoothing a hand over the curve of her hip. “You are one of the rockiest rocks I’ve ever known. And if you’re talking about breaking up with me... don’t. I don’t see it happening.”
She laughed against his skin. “It would kill me to lose you,” she said. “I don’t even have you, and I’m afraid of losing you.”
He went still, then lowered his chin so that he could see her face.
“First, you have me.” Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak, so he went on. “Second, it’s stupid to not do something out of fear, right?” Spence brought a hand up to cup the back of Hayley’s head. “I would do anything for you, Hayley. You say it would kill you to lose me? It would kill me to hurt you. I love you. I want to walk through life with you. But I also want to give you the chance to figure out what you want.”
“You.”
Spence went still, wondering if he’d heard right. Could it be that simple? “Me.”
Hayley nodded. “I want you. And a family. I’m really nervous about the family part, because I don’t know how much time I have.”
“There’s more than one way to make a family,” he said in a low voice.
She smiled against his chest. “Maybe we’ll explore all of them.”
“I’m game for that.”
“Spence . . . we haven’t even dated.”
He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that she ended up half on top of him.
“I think I’ve loved you since you rescued me from the equipment shed.” The arm he had around her shoulders tightened.
“Right.”
“I’m not kidding. I saw a girl that I didn’t know existed until that day and I liked her. And now she’s here with me, naked at that, and I’m not going to let her go.” He met her gaze. “Not unless she wants me to.”
Hayley let out a long sigh and snuggled into him. “She does not.”
“Good.” He closed his eyes, wondered how he was going to tell Millie that after this job, he might not be available for more. That he might have to set up shop and stay in one place, earning his living while working on the ranch—or ranches, if he counted the Lone Tree. But he had a feeling that Henry might like to work there until he was really ready to retire. If Hayley was agreeable, that was.
“Spence?”
“Hmm?”
“Can we spend the day in bed? I’ve never done that.”
“I like that idea, but I don’t know what Henry, Ash, and Connor will think when they show up for work.”
“Right.”
“But,” he said, touching her lower lip with his index finger, “I foresee a lot more time here, and... especially if we’re going to make a baby.”
Hayley cupped his face in her hands and smiled. “There will be bumps in the road.”
“No doubt. And if there are two people who can take them, it’s you and me.”