Chapter Fifteen
H aving fallen asleep in Peyton’s bed, Drew slowly emerged from the deepest rest he’d had in a very long time. Even before he opened his eyes, he was immediately struck by how dry his mouth was and how thirsty he felt. He was dehydrated. No great surprise, considering his recent output.
He smiled with an overabundance of self-satisfaction and reached for the cause of his dehydration. His hand encountered empty space then rumpled sheets. Cracking an eye open against the bright, evening sunlight slanting directly through the window over Peyton’s bed, Drew looked for her.
She wasn’t in the bed next to him. He ran a hand over the pillow and sheets. No residual warmth from Peyton’s hot, smooth skin remained.
Lifting his head, Drew searched for her. The small trailer was empty save for him. Maybe she was in the trailer’s tiny bathroom. The narrow door to the small space was closed.
“Peyton?” he called, wincing at how raspy his voice sounded.
Silence.
He rolled toward the edge of the disheveled bed and looked for Peyton’s jeans and boots on the white and gold flecked vinyl floor of her trailer. He only saw his own pants, boxers, boots, and shirt still scattered where he’d shed them. Though Peyton’s I Love Texas T-shirt was draped over the back of the dinette bench seat. A bare hanger lay atop the table.
It hadn’t been there before.
She’d dressed and left. Had she regretted what they’d done together? Regretted it so much that she’d slipped out after he’d dozed off?
His chest tightened with the possibility, and not just with his own pain from being rejected in such a way. The idea that he’d caused her any sort of pain caused his heart to contract.
Reaching for his jeans and boxers, Drew noticed her bucking saddle was missing from its stand at the front of the trailer. She’d left to ride.
Drew’s stomach flipped. Worry, fear, disappointment that she hadn’t wanted to stay with him all warred for the spotlight within him.
He checked his watch. The women’s bronc riding exhibition would be starting in five minutes.
So much for giving Peyton something better to do than possibly hurting herself on a bucking bronc during the exhibition tonight. He might have failed at keeping his relationship with Peyton clinical, not personal, but he wasn’t about to fail to keep her from physical harm. And not just because her family was holding the additional clinic funding over him.
Drew wanted her safe because he’d fallen in love with her.
The thought of Peyton being hurt stirred the same sort of bone-deep fears that had eaten away at him while watching his mother deteriorate over the years between her initial injury beneath the hooves of his grandfather’s prized bull and her eventual death. Logically, he knew Peyton’s obvious skill on the back of whatever bronc she’d drawn would help keep her safe, but he couldn’t avoid being sucked in by her family’s fear for her safety.
He needed to keep her from harm for his own sanity.
Scrambling up from the tousled bedding, Drew gathered the rest of his clothing and redressed as quickly as he could. He was spurred on by the muffled sound of the announcer’s deep voice coming over the public address system. The women’s exhibition must just be beginning. He hadn’t missed it. He needed to be there. And not only because he was supposed to be stopping her for doing anything risky.
Because he loved her, he repeated the thought. Trying it out. Letting it sink in and settle.
Not just because she was an amazing lay. Which she was. Holy shit, she was. But she was so, so much more. Peyton Halliday was brash, fun, fearless, beautiful, and generally all around perfect, as far as he was concerned.
Stomping into his boots, Drew grabbed his cowboy hat from the table and hurried from the trailer, slamming the door shut behind him.
He jogged to the arena, listening hard to the announcer’s voice, growing more distinct as Drew neared the arena, for any mention of Peyton Halliday. The roar of the crowd had him increasing his pace. Peyton, with her petite stature and wild red hair, had turned out to be a crowd favorite. Especially after she’d successfully ridden Karen From Finance during the first women’s saddle bronc riding exhibition, so the cheers could easily be for her.
Rather than going to his and Doc’s regular spot along the fence near the exit gate where they kept the backboard and medical kit, Drew charged up the steps to the catwalk above the bucking chutes. If he could, he would stop Peyton from riding. How, he had no idea.
Just as Drew reached the crowded space above the chutes, he heard the announcer ask the crowd to cheer on Peyton Halliday, who had a whole lot of Texas grit packed into a little package. Drew knew she was made up of a whole lot more. She was joy, and light, and a zest for life that could only be gained from a brush with death.
His heart in his throat, he shoved his way toward the chute with the most activity above it just in time to see Peyton settle into her saddle atop a big, brown and black bronc. He opened his mouth to shout at her to stop, but he caught sight of the sheer joy on her face. She really loved what she was doing.
Drew realized he wanted her to be happy. More than anything. If he had any hope of a life spent loving her, he had to have the courage to let her be who she wanted to be. And one thing she’d taught him was how to be courageous. He’d always thought having courage meant being able to hold on tight, but she’d shown him that real courage meant letting go and taking the risk to truly live.
So instead of stopping her, he bent over the chute rail, snagged the bucking rope and handed it to her.
Peyton took the rope and glanced up, her gaze colliding with his. She froze, a question clear in her hazel eyes.
He answered her by straightening and saying, “Go get ’em, tiger.”
Her smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Then she blew him a kiss, leaned back, raised the thickly braided bucking rope, gripped the saddle horn, and nodded.
The side gate on the chute was pulled open by a cowboy on the ground, and the big bronc Drew didn’t recognize because it wasn’t from the Wright Ranch exploded into the arena.
Peyton’s form was perfect. She continued to lean back in the saddle despite the horse’s attempts to pitch her forward, then the animal gave three stiff-legged hops before settling into a pattern of high, twisting kicks.
Peyton clung to the saddle like a tick despite the big gelding’s efforts to shake her, and Drew found himself thinking maybe she hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d claimed there wasn’t a horse she couldn’t successfully ride.
Drew leaned down to grip the top rail of the chute, willing the eight second buzzer to sound. It already felt like Peyton had been riding the bronc for an hour.
But rather than hearing the buzzer signifying the end of the ride, Drew heard a loud snap . He watched in stunned horror as Peyton came off the bronc, saddle and all. Her girth strap had broken, and there was obviously nothing Peyton could do but release the bucking rope and ride the horse-less saddle to the dirt.
Drew had seen more than his fair share of wrecks in the rodeo arena, but none had stopped his heart the way Peyton’s wreck did. Without a thought, he launched himself over the railing and landed in the chute, then immediately ran to where Peyton had come to rest on her side on the ground. The pickup riders were working to box the bronc between them and keep him away from where Peyton was laying unmoving on her side.
His heart pounding against his ribs, Drew went to his knees in the soft dirt and leaned over her, trying to see her face. Her long hair was in the way though, so he gently brushed it back. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she was gasping for air.
Terror gripped Drew. “Peyton? Peyton honey, look at me. Where do you hurt? Peyton!”
“Can’t. Breathe,” she gasped out, her eyes still squeezed closed.
Drew suddenly couldn’t breathe himself. Couldn’t pull air into his own lungs. Couldn’t think.
Above him, Doc Tracer said, “Girl’s had the wind knocked out of her. Just roll her over and lift her by the buckle.”
Terrified of hurting her, Drew said, “What if something’s broken?”
Doc Tracer made an exasperated noise and bent forward, resting his hands on his knees. To Peyton, he said, “Anything broke, hon?”
Still struggling for breath, Peyton shook her head vigorously.
“See.” Doc straightened with a groan. “Now roll her over.”
With trepidation, Drew reached for her. Fortunately, she’d landed on the non-bruised shoulder, but Drew had to grip her by the side of her chest to ease her onto her back. The last thing he wanted was to risk hurting her more by grabbing the arm she’d hit in the sheep pen. She’d remained literally in the saddle, so he had to pull it carefully from between her legs, extracting her feet from the stirrups, and move it aside. Once she was on her back, Drew slid his fingers beneath the waistband of her jeans and lifted her enough that her lungs could expand and allow her to catch her breath.
The very low-tech medical treatment worked, and Peyton opened her eyes as she pulled in several gulps of air. He eased her back down and commenced looking for further injury.
As Drew felt her neck and collar bones, gently probing for fractures, Peyton sat up. “What happened?”
Doc moved so he could toe at her saddle. “This saddle looks like it’s seen some good times. When did you last replace this girth strap?”
Peyton groaned and ran a hand across her forehead, smearing it with dirt. “Never.”
“Well, you’ll be doing it now because it snapped clean in two.” Doc sent her a cheeky wink.
Peyton groaned again. “That’s my lucky saddle.” She struggled to her feet, with Drew doing his best to help her without hurting her. Once standing, she brushed off her backside and her chaps.
Drew kept an arm around her, his throat unbearably tight. He should have tugged on the girth after handing her the bronc rope instead of basking in her smile.
“Until it wasn’t,” Doc quipped and picked up the saddle. “Let’s get her out of the way before the next bronc comes tearing through here.”
Debating whether or not to just pick her up and carry her, Drew hesitated.
Doc asked Drew, “Do you need a stretcher?”
Feeling his face flush at his ridiculous indecisiveness, Drew bent to catch her behind the knees.
Peyton dodged him. “Oh no you don’t. I’m walking out of this arena like every other self-respecting bronc rider.”
Doc chuckled and hoisted the saddle onto his shoulder. “I think she’s fine. But feel free to take her to the clinic and check her out for your own peace of mind.”
“I plan to,” Drew said, keeping a hand on her slender back despite her efforts to avoid him. He reached to pluck her hat from the dirt, but she snagged it before he could.
“I’ll keep this.” Doc patted the saddle. “With me at our usual spot. You can collect it when you’re done at the clinic.”
Peyton smiled at him. “Thank you, Dr. Tracer.”
He touched a finger to his hat in acknowledgment, then veered off to where sports medicine always watched the action.
Drew helped Peyton through an arena gate and steered her toward the clinic trailer.
“I’m fine, you know.”
“And I’ll be fine once I’ve checked you out.”
“You just checked me out, twice, earlier today,” she grumbled.
Drew pulled up short. For the second time, he found himself wondering if she regretted what had happened between them? An entirely different sort of panic hit him.
After a couple of steps, she seemed to notice he wasn’t walking next to her and stopped, too, turning to look at him.
His concern must have shown because her shoulders dropped, and she closed the space between them.
Placing a very dirty hand on his chest, directly over his pounding heart, she tilted her head back to look him in the eye. “Drew. I really, really liked the way you checked me out earlier.”
“Just liked ?”
She groaned and dropped her head back farther. Turning on her boot heel, she said, “Needy much?” as she marched away.
Drew stayed where he was as realization washed over him. He was needy. He needed to help, to fix, to be seen. By Peyton.
All the things he hadn’t been able to do for his mother. And despite everything she’d been through, or maybe because of them, Peyton did not need him. Was that why she was the first woman he’d ever felt this way about?
Peyton stopped again and turned to consider him. Her lips pressed together. She retraced her steps again, her chaps flapping around her ankles. This time when she reached him, she fisted her hands in his shirt. “Drew Neisson, you can be as needy as you want. As long as you are only needy with me. Because I didn’t just like how you checked me out. I loved it. I love you. I loved you even before what you did up there on the catwalk. Okay? There I said it.”
She released his shirt and threw her hands up in the air, turned and stomped three steps away, then turned again and stomped back. “Of all the people I could decide to love being checked out by, of course it has to be the person my dad hired to babysit me. A doctor, for God’s sake. And you only agreed to do it because you knew I needed it.”
“That’s not why I agreed to do it.”
Peyton stilled. “Then why?”
He pointed at the clinic trailer. His pride and joy. “Because of that.”
She blinked.
“It’s in serious need of an upgrade. Somebody has to pay for that.”
“I just assumed your family…” She broke off at the shake of his head. “Then…my family?”
“Yes. And the additional funds will provide some security for what I hope to be my life’s work. Funds tied to me keeping you safe.”
She gaped at him. “I’d assumed, after talking to my dad, that you were being directly paid—”
“Yet you still slept with me.”
“My family bribed you, yet you still slept with me .”
They stared at each other for a long moment. Drew had no idea what was going on inside her brain. His was a riot of fear, worry, elation, but most of all hope.
Then the gold in her hazel eyes warmed, and a smile teased at her mouth. “I want to do it again, Drew.”
Relief loosened his knees. “That makes two of us.”
She settled her hands on his hips, tugging him lightly to her. “Lucky for you, I know a place.”
He started to tumble into her seductiveness, but there were some things about a person that just couldn’t be changed. And he wasn’t entirely certain if he was man enough to accept the challenge, the risk, of loving Peyton despite the potential heartbreak.
*
Nervous she’d made the wrong move by revealing what she had to Drew, and by using sex to distract him, Peyton tugged on him in an attempt to start him walking in the direction of her trailer.
Drew didn’t budge. “After I actually check you out. I still need to know you’re okay, Peyton.”
“I’m fine, Drew.”
“Then this won’t take but a minute. And I have been told I have an excellent grasp of human anatomy.” He hooked an arm around her and started her walking back toward the clinic fifth wheel.
She laughed. “No, you were told you were showing off your knowledge of human anatomy.”
“I wouldn’t show it off if it weren’t excellent.” He pulled her hat off and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Peyton’s heart soared. For the first time in her life she felt treasured for herself, not her family. Or her patched heart. Sure, Drew was a caretaker, but he also knew what it was like to lose someone he loved. He knew firsthand the heartbreak of loss. He would have never become so involved with her if there wasn’t something about her that made the risk worth it. Right?
She allowed Drew to walk her to the clinic’s side door and waited patiently for him to unlock and open the door. A roar from the crowd caught her attention. One of the girls must be having a good ride. Or a bad one. Sometimes, it was hard to read a rodeo crowd.
Drew reclaimed her attention by snagging her hand and pulling her into the clinic. Peyton paused, taking in the outdated but immaculately maintained equipment and fixtures. Drew was right. The clinic did need an upgrade. Trust her family to zero in on what someone needed most. But her cynicism was erased by Drew’s clear pride in the clinic.
He patted the top of the exam table in the middle of the long, narrow space. “Bring that gorgeous anatomy of yours over here and let me grasp it.” His blue eyes sparkled with amusement.
Regardless of how much Drew made her want to open herself up to him, the clinical setting brought back way too many memories.
Drew sobered. “I understand why you aren’t a fan of anything remotely medical. Or doctors, for that matter.”
She shook her head even though he’d accurately guessed what was bothering her. “Remember, you’re not my doctor, Drew.”
“I don’t want to be your doctor, Peyton.” He stepped close to her. “I want to be so, so much more. If you’ll let me.” He set her hat on the counter behind him and buried his hands in her hair. “I’ve spent so much of my life being afraid of losing the people I love. But in the short time that I’ve known you, you’ve shown me that loving, and really living, is worth the risk. To a point.”
Peyton paused in the act of reaching for Drew’s waist. Her heart stuttered. “To what point?” Her voice broke.
He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, but when he straightened, his expression was solemn. “I need to know that you understand how much your quest for thrills has the potential to cause pain to those who love you. Yes, I get that being smothered isn’t any way to spend your life, and I would never do that to you. But you keeping everyone at arm’s length and constantly taking risks for risk’s sake is not cool either.”
Despite having heard nearly the exact same thing from her family before, hearing them from Drew made them sink in. She realized she’d been manufacturing a sense of freedom by avoiding commitments and close relationships. But she wanted a close relationship with Drew.
Now, Peyton did grab Drew’s waist. “I’d never want to cause you pain, Drew. Ever. I care about you too much.” She couldn’t bear the thought of causing him pain because she loved him.
A blond brow twitched upward. “You really do care about me?”
She gave him an exaggerated nod. “Yes. A lot.”
“To the moon?”
She went up on her tippy toes and kissed his lips. “To the moon and back.”
Drew dropped his forehead to Peyton’s. “I love you, Peyton Halliday. Do you think that maybe we can find some middle ground between, say, BASE jumping and knitting by the fire?”
Peyton’s heart exploded in the best way possible. She raised her hands from his waist to his gorgeous face and held him in place so he’d be sure to see how serious she was. “There is a ton of ground between those two things. And I can’t wait to cover all of it with you, my Cowboy Doctor.”
The End