19. WILD CHAPTERS
19
WILD CHAPTERS
PENNY
C hristmas morning dawned bright and pretty. There was a dusting of snow on the ground, hardly enough for a snowball fight but plenty enough for a bad slip. Penny held onto Jack’s hand as he escorted her to the car. They were going to spend the day at Meghan’s house, handing out gifts for her and her teen boy-girl twins. Penny was looking forward to it. She’d spent the last three Christmases alone.
Jack’s Uncle Redmond was there when they arrived.
“Oh, it’s so good to see you, lad,” Redmond said, shaking Jack’s hand. “Nice to see you, too, Penny. So happy you want to spend the day with yer old uncle, seeing as me own boy never comes to see me for Christmas, leaving me all alone.”
Meg stopped and gave him a hard look. “Oh, never mind me, Casper, the invisible fucking ghost. Dad, Matty comes nearly every year in summer. Isn’t that enough?” she demanded, shaking her head at him and giving Penny an eye roll. “Come on in, you two.”
“What a pretty tree,” Penny gushed, and Meg grasped her arm, pulling her into the living room.
For a small rowhouse, everything was decorated beautifully. The stockings over the fireplace, the tree festooned with bright blue and silver ornaments, and even the sprig of mistletoe overhead all made Penny feel good. It wasn’t as glam as Erica Mayfield’s holiday décor but just as comforting.
They settled in, spending most of the day eating and drinking eggnog, although Jack surreptitiously poured her the unspiked version. By evening, Meg and Redmond were red-faced, the latter sobbing into the traditional Irish Christmas cake they’d brought from the bakery.
The cause of Redmond’s tears? Memories of Christmases in New York with his ex-wife Tamryn and their son Matt, who’d called on the phone.
“Tammy is the love of me life. If they hadn’t threatened me with a stay in that damned Rikers’ Island, we’d be together to this day,” he lamented. Jack and Meg both sighed as though they’d heard this story many, many times. “There’s still a chance for us. I know it. If only she’d come to visit me. Just once. She’d love Ireland. She’d just love it.”
“Yes, very sad, anyway!” Meg had interrupted with annoyance. “What are we going to do about that psycho?”
Everyone paused and looked up. She’d waited until the twins had drifted off to their rooms to play video games or whatever they did up there.
Immediately, Penny’s palms got sweaty. Since La Roque’s interview, she’d made a good show of not being concerned about the things he’d said about her to bait Jack. It was true that he was a dick, not worthy of their consideration. But she had been pissed and furious about the things he’d said about Jack too. If she didn’t believe in keeping the peace…
But the look in Jack’s eyes, the clenched jaw whenever he lapsed into silence, let her know he hadn’t forgotten about it either. As if unconsciously preparing himself, he’d been working out longer and harder in the home gym, coming back from Valentine MMA with bruises and abrasions on his back. He’d packed the extra freezer with bags of ice for his ice baths. He was adding more protein to his diet and completely cutting out sugar. Somehow, that last one was the worst sign of all.
He’d promised her he wouldn’t go there again, to that place where nothing else existed but rage and instinct. And if he should break that promise, what would she do?
“Jack’s not going to agree to fight him,” Penny said, wiping her palms on her sweater dress. She wished she felt as confident as she sounded. “He can say whatever he wants as long as he stays the hell away from us.”
Meghan took a sip of her whiskey, pushing her very straight blonde hair out of her blue eyes. Thick-set, with strong, attractive features, Meg preferred dressing in button-downs and jeans rather than anything frilly. Now she leaned forward in her chair, denim-clad legs crossed at the ankle.
“You know fellas like that don’t ever just drop grievances. You have to handle him, now , before he escalates.”
“There’s no ‘handling’ him. This isn’t a Hollywood movie where you roll up to someone’s house and go in guns blazing. Penny’s right. If I don’t sign a contract, there is no escalation. He’s got to drop it,” Jack explained, but she waved his words away with a sharp hand movement. A little swoony with relief at his confirmation, Penny squeezed his hand.
“Do you know what he was referring to? The part about youse having history?” Meg asked.
“I dunno. I’ve been thinking about that for days, and I’ve no fucking clue.”
Meg’s living room was small and crammed with old dark furniture. Redmond, sitting in an overstuffed armchair in the corner that seemed to swallow his thin frame, sniffled over his eggnog and shrugged. Penny hadn’t spent that much time with him, but his shifty eyes were a clue that Redmond did have an idea. After a silence, Meg turned to him.
“Dad? You know something, don’t you?” Meg prodded.
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug, almost like a sulky child who’d been caught stealing from his mother’s purse.
“Dad?” That sounded more like a warning.
“Is Miss Penny, um…aware of our old dealings, lad?” Redmond asked delicately, his bushy salt and pepper eyebrows lifted over his faded light eyes.
“You mean if she knows you tried to lead me into a life of crime, yes, she knows,” Jack said, his hand warm and possessive on Penny’s thigh.
“D’you happen to remember when me and you paid a visit to a man up by Drogheda? A Frenchman and his wife? When you were about thirteen or so?”
Oh boy. Penny and Jack exchanged glances.
“I remember going somewhere out of the city with you, but I didn’t remember the name of the place. You told me to stand outside while you went into this shitty little gaff. I was supposed to be your lookout.” Jack’s mouth was a straight line, his eyes distant as if searching the past for the memories. “There was a woman inside. I could hear her screaming at you while you ransacked the place. Heard a baby screaming too. Then the man showed up. Big fella. Mean. He grabbed me by me shirt and punched me hard, right in me face. Next thing I remember…the house was on fire, and you and me were running away. Jesus. That baby… Fuck .”
Penny put her hand to her mouth to stop the sudden urge to throw up all that eggnog. It coated the back of her throat. Great. Nothing like a story of mayhem and possible murder to finally bring on her first bout of morning sickness.
“Dad, did you kill those people?” Meg asked, looking as though she were steeling herself to hear exactly that.
“No, no! They were fine!... Well, not quite so fine with their house on fire.” Penny, Jack, and Meg breathed a collective sigh of relief. “That La Roque was a thief. That’s why they were up there, hiding out. He stole something that belonged to me boss on the way out of town. I was just there to get it back, that’s all, but you know how it goes, uh…things get a little out of control,” Redmond explained. “Anyway, from what I was told, La Roque disappeared on his wife and babe after that. Afraid of us coming after him again, I guess. I heard she left for the States after that. Those were some wild chapters in me life, that’s for sure.” He mused over that while Jack’s eyes blazed.
“And La Roque the son believes I was somehow responsible for that particular wild chapter? Me, a thirteen-year-old kid. I shouldn’t have been up there in the first place,” Jack said harshly. “He was a baby. How would he even remember?”
“His mam probably told him what happened, and we became the reason his father ran out on him,” Redmond reasoned with a sad headshake.
“Well, at the end of the day, I don’t get the impression an apology would change anything for him. We’re not going to be passing a talking stick back and forth and crying it out to heal our inner children,” Jack said wryly.
“I mean…you don’t think it’s worth a try to contact him and talk?” Penny asked. The others looked at her as though she suggested growing a second head. “I’m not kidding. This information kinda changes things. Clearly, he wants to meet with you somehow. At least make the offer.”
Now Jack looked at her with wide eyes and a shake of his head. “No. He insulted you, in public, and in public is where he needs to apologize. I’m not a fucking therapist, and he’s not some bleedin’ priest I need to confess to.”
Penny lifted her palms in surrender. “Okay, okay. In that case, the best we can do is avoid him. That’s it, that’s all. Shouldn’t be that hard. He’s in New York or wherever he lives, and we’re here.”
Meg looked ready to argue, but she said nothing. Jack looked morose. In the subdued silence, with the sounds of a Celtic holiday album playing in the background, Redmond raised his glass with a feeble grin.
“Well. Merry Christmas!”
They stopped talking about Derek La Roque after Christmas evening. Penny knew Jack was feeling some guilt over what happened with the La Roque family, even though it was more Redmond’s doing than his. He was quieter for a few days, but eventually, as things settled, he was back to being himself. A little more than monosyllabic and more than eager to see to her comfort, as well as her pleasure.
Meg invited them back over for New Year’s, but they decided to spend it on their own. Jack took her to dinner at their favorite restaurant, the steakhouse where they’d first shared a meal and talked. Then it was home again for a night of peace, if “peaceful” was the right word for ringing in the new year to the sound of fireworks over the skyline while in the deep throes of a thunderous mutual orgasm. Penny wasn’t complaining.
Nothing had ever felt so good or so right.
And sometimes, that still felt wrong.
Moving in with Jack had meant making decisions about what to part with from the old place and what to keep. Obviously, she wasn’t going to prop pictures of Brendan all over the house. She’d put them in a dresser drawer. But she took one out occasionally when Jack wasn’t there. Looked at the sarcastic little grin and the old man’s wise gaze in a young face. Pressed her fingertips to her lips and then the glass and then hid it, feeling vaguely guilty.
She’d been having trouble sleeping at night with weird dreams of La Roque skulking in their backyard and breaking into the house to steal the baby. To avoid the dreams, she’d stay up in Jack’s — their office, roll up the sleeves of her robe, and painfully wrench out more words for her book.
One night, she fell asleep at the desk. This time when he turned to mock her, La Roque’s face morphed and melted, and then he was Brendan. He snatched up the baby, shouting at her.
“He should have been mine, Penny Lane. And now you can’t have him either!”
She screamed, trying to run after them, but she tripped and fell. “I’m sorry, Brendan. Are you ashamed of me ?”
All of a sudden, it was the weak gray of morning. She found herself in bed. Jack was standing at his dresser, strapping on his wristwatch.
“Did you bring me in here?” she asked in confusion.
Jack came to the bed and leaned over to kiss her. “I did. You were completely knackered. You should’ve come to bed earlier like I told you.”
“You don’t tell me what to do,” she scoffed but pulled him down for a longer, more thorough lip lock. Already the bizarre dream with Brendan was dissipating, becoming less defined until it faded entirely. “Going into the gym?”
Jack was already dressed in his forest green tracksuit that picked up the flecks of emerald in his eyes. He nodded. “I’m after takin’ Trixie out for her walk so you don’t have to.”
“Okay.” Penny grinned. That meant he’d already done it. It had taken her months in Dublin to figure out that particular turn of phrase. “Mm, I love this color on you. I’ve got the hottest boyfriend on the planet.”
“Hottest husband.” He grinned at her compliment and was about to press her back down into the sheets, but she pushed him.
“I don’t recall that happening. Anyway, wait for me, I want to come to the gym with you. I’ll be quick.” Penny laughed softly when Jack dragged her nightdress up and cupped her pussy in his hot palm. She almost gave in at the firm circles he was making over her clit with his thumb through her underwear, but she stayed strong and shooed his hand away. “Later! Let me get ready.”
“Alright,” he sighed.
“Oh, just a quick one won’t hurt. Go ahead.” Penny grinned at Jack’s rumbling laughter. And she widened her legs, kissed him, and moaned when he did just as she said.
Afterward, Penny got dressed and went to spend the morning at the gym shooting the shit with everyone, even getting in a little punching and light kicking in the corner under the instruction of Rain, the American girl.
When Jack had reminded her that he’d made the offer to come by the gym, she’d been reluctant to go at first. Penny had been imagining a place full of screaming, sweaty men, and streaming blood. She was afraid of the memories that would bring up. But her doctor had encouraged her to start doing some exercise to get her body somewhat toned for the rigors of birthing, so she decided to give it a try.
Jack’s gym wasn’t what she had been imagining. Well, except for the sweat. She really enjoyed seeing Jack in his element. He was a tough but patient coach, and the students clearly respected him. They weren’t merely starry-eyed fans; they listened to him, trusted his guidance. There was laughter and camaraderie, learning, and a sense of accomplishment at mastering a strike or a throw or any technique. When the sparring got rough, and tempers rose, Jack would calm everybody down and make them shake hands before class was done. And best of all, there was always music playing, usually from Jack’s curated playlist that got everyone in the zone. She always left in a better mood than when she showed up.
In the afternoon, she took off for her solo people-watching session at the café. She loved seeing that cute couple as she drank her decaf coffee by the window, knowing she’d be going home to her own man. Imagining her and Jack talking and strolling with their own little one brought her a deep thrill.
That night, she was going to do the cooking. Her plan was to flip through his recipe book and come up with something, maybe Italian, because it was quick, but more importantly, hard for her to screw up. Jack would probably be on the couch in those fucking sexy spectacles with a book in his hand. He had a terrible habit of folding paperbacks backward to hold them open with one big hand while his giant feet were propped up on the coffee table. She’d complain about his book desecration, and he’d tease her. And afterward, there’d be so much loving.
Sometimes, it was really hard to believe this was now her life.
She left the café on her way back home to give Trixie an afternoon walk when a harsh wind picked up. Tightening her coat around her throat, Penny braved the wind, bowed her head, and walked into it. The hat she’d made offered some protection, but the wind grew fiercer, pushing her off course. Thank goodness home wasn’t far off.
“Come on, Trixie. We need to make this quick, girl,” Penny urged.
Trixie wasn’t a fan of the wind, her little body shivering while she did her business, then eagerly turned back toward the house.
They were heading to the front door when a bright flash of color pulled Penny’s eyes to the ground. There was something on the front step. She bent and peered closer while Trixie barked at the thing. It was a tiny bird, a robin, with its small brown eye looking up at her and its orange breast rising and falling, then stopping.
“Oh. Poor thing. She must have hit the door. Leave her alone, Trixie.”
She didn’t have to tell the cockapoo twice. Trixie whined and shied away from the little feathered creature. Indecisive, Penny didn’t want to leave the bird on the step but had to get Trixie out of the cold.
“Alright, let me get you inside first, and then I’ll deal with this.”
Penny opened the front door to let Trixie in, stepping around the bird gingerly. To her shock, the second the door was open, the robin revived herself and flew into the house.
“What the fuck?” She and Trixie raced inside. The bird was fluttering wildly in the foyer, then the living room, flying high to the ceiling out of reach. Penny gazed up at it with disbelief. “You better not poop on anything!”
Finding the broom in the kitchen, Penny returned to the living room, waving the broom in the bird’s direction. She didn’t want to hurt her, just convince her to leave. Finally, the robin chirped, then flew back the way she’d come in, exiting through the open door. Penny laughed with relief. Trixie stood wagging her tail and barking at the door, then turned around in an anxious circle.
And suddenly, the skin on Penny’s arms chilled and tightened, despite the warmth of her coat and sweater.
Nothing lasts .
That thought came out of nowhere and stiffened Penny’s back. Something didn’t feel right.
Then she chided herself. Naturally, a bird flying into the house would freak anybody out. Maybe it was the dreams she’d been having. Maybe, for the first time in forever, she was actually happy, and her inner anxiety muppet was looking for reasons to be nervous. Or at least, that’s what Jade would tell her.
She took off her coat and pulled out her phone. It was nine in the morning in New York. She was being selfish, but she’d risk pissing off Jade’s boss just for a moment of reassurance.
“Hey, girl,” Jade answered. She sounded off.
“Hey. What’s up? Are you okay?” Penny asked.
“I’m home sick from work. It’s pretty bad. You wanted to talk?” Jade coughed. The thick, wet sound that followed made Penny wince.
“You do sound pretty bad. I was just gonna chat, but you need your rest. I’ll check in on you later, okay?”
Jade didn’t argue. “Okay.” She hung up without the usual “love yous” or “good-byes.” She must really have been feeling awful.
Penny was deflated, that sensation that something wasn’t right only intensifying.
“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?” she asked Trixie, who looked at her solemnly. “Alright, if you think I should, I’m going to go check in on our Jack.”
Trixie barked, “Y es .”
With Trixie secured in her crate, Penny shrugged her coat back on and left the house. The walk to Jack’s gym took another fifteen minutes, but she already felt a bit better at the thought of seeing him. The prospect of burrowing into his arms for comfort and warmth made her pick up the pace. Across the quiet afternoon street, the sight of the old warehouse with the logo “Valentine MMA” instilled relief.
A rather fancy black town car was parked outside. Penny hadn’t met Jack’s agent yet, but she’d heard he had flashy tastes. Maybe this was him, finally dropping in to talk in person. Or maybe it was some other pro athlete or celeb that he’d met somewhere dropping in to say hello and take photos for their social media. Jack told her it happened occasionally.
For that reason, she wasn’t so shocked when she walked into the gym and saw a man holding a camera and filming or another holding an equipment pack and a light on a stick. Grinning, she quietly slipped in. But the second she saw the chaos inside, she lost the smile.
Derek La Roque was there, talking shit at Jack’s back with a smirking white-haired man by his side. Jack was at ringside, his back ramrod steel, looking up at his students who had sparring gear on but were trading insults with La Roque. Charlie was cursing loudly at La Roque, too. Everyone else in the gym was looking back and forth like they were watching contestants lobbying grenades in a dangerous tennis match.
What. The. Fuck?