Chapter 12
TWELVE
Different websites and gossip channels ran with the photos for a few weeks after the drunk groping incident.
Benji wrote a statement for the band’s site.
Their manager released a few social media comments denouncing it as an “unfortunate encounter” with someone looking to take advantage, adding that “all is well” with Benji and his boyfriend.
Eventually, the buzz died down. Eddie kept them moving, but sometimes the venue seemed small.
Or dirty. Not quite to their usual standard.
A handful of pre-arranged gigs fell through at the last minute.
They weren’t traveling as frequently, there was more time in between gigs, and then the middle of October found them with an entire week of no scheduled venues, which gave the band time off.
Their first full week off from performing in over a year, and Benji was fine with that.
It meant seeing his parents briefly, and then going to the shore to be with Joshua.
Except his parents weren’t actually home the first weekend of his unexpected vacation. They were away at his dad’s twenty-fifth high school reunion, both eager to brag about their successful only child. But the rest of the band was joining him at the shore, so he wouldn’t be at a loss for company.
After their gig, Benji and Danielle took turns driving as they went down to the shore.
When they finally got to the house, Benji had barely enough energy to kiss Joshua soundly, before collapsing in his bed.
Joshua climbed in next to him and pull him close, holding him in a warm, caring embrace while Benji fell asleep, content in his boyfriend’s arms.
Joshua watched Benji for a long time while he slept, happy to hold him and enjoy the rarity of a lazy Saturday morning together.
Benji’s hair had grown out a bit, making it shaggier and curlier than usual.
It would be a rat’s nest when he finally got up.
He had a few days worth of stubble that was kind of adorable, because his Benji was usually clean-shaven.
And that naturally made Joshua’s thoughts turn to Van, who was in the process of growing out some kind of goatee that looked insanely hot.
Not that Joshua had sought Van out to ogle his chin hair.
Last week Melody and Lincoln had pestered him to death to go to open-mike night, citing Joshua’s new hermit-like ways post-groping incident.
Part of Joshua had used lying low as an excuse to avoid Off Beat and Van. During that night out with Melody and Lincoln, he spent a lot of energy keeping himself from staring at Van. He also capped himself at two drinks, both brought to him by Lincoln.
Benji snuffled and shifted, caught up in some sort of dream. So adorable.
Joshua kissed his cheek, and then carefully slid out of bed. He popped into the bathroom to do his morning business. Voices drifted from the kitchen as he eased down the hallway, intent on coffee and food.
“—make him think it’s his fault.”
He froze near the archway. That was Bobby’s voice.
“But it’s not his fault at all,” Danielle said. “People are just assholes.”
“So Eddie told you guys these cancellations are because of Benji?” Lincoln asked.
Anger burned in Joshua’s chest, and he put a hand against the wall to steady himself. And listened.
“Not in so many words,” Danielle replied.
“I mean, Benji never hid that he was gay, and obviously his XYZ fans knew, but it wasn’t really out there in anyone’s face.
There was no tangible evidence. But those pictures from a few weeks ago, at a gay club, plus the pics we posted of him and Joshua? It kind of forced the issue.”
“Latent homophobia coming to the surface,” Andy said. “I mean, we don’t have this entire week off because Eddie thought we needed the vacation. Which we do, but, you know.”
“But I don’t understand why your performances would be cancelled because the lead singer is gay.” Even Emmett was in on this damned conversation.
Someone grunted, and then Danielle said, “Club promoters know their market, and they want to keep a certain audience. With Benji gaining a larger gay fan base, those gay fans might come out to mostly-straight venues to see him perform.”
“So these promoters don’t want more gay people in their clubs? That’s awful.” Emmett, bless him, sounded genuinely insulted by the idea.
“Unfortunately, it’s part of the business. Not every club owner is as open-minded as Beatrice. And if we tell Benji about this, he’ll take it to heart and blame himself. Fading Daze means a lot to him, but what if he tried to quit for the sake of the band? The four of us work, damn it.”
“You can’t keep it from him forever, though. It’s not fair.”
“And,” Lincoln said, “he’s going to figure it out damned fast when your schedule continues to dwindle.”
“Eddie is looking for alternatives,” Bobby said.
“Part of his struggle is booking us for several shows in a row in one city. It saves on travel expenses if we’re only moving once or twice a week, so he’s juggling a lot to try and get us back on the road in a way that won’t put us all in the hole financially.
It’s a temporary hiccup, not a death knell, okay? Let’s keep this between us for now.”
Several of them murmured their agreements.
Joshua closed his eyes and counted to ten, giving himself time to pretend he hadn’t been eavesdropping, and to curb his temper a bit.
He wanted to be furious at Benji’s so-called friends for keeping a secret this big from him, but he also understood.
Benji would take it personally. He’d self-flagellate and end up angry and depressed.
And Danielle was right. Benji was the guy who’d fall on his sword without being asked, especially if quitting meant saving the band as a unit.
Fuck that.
He strolled into the kitchen with a sleepy smile, waved hello to the group gathered around the island—Danielle, Bobby, Andy, Lincoln, and Emmett—then headed for the coffee pot.
The conversation fell awkwardly silent. He debated telling them he thought they were all jerks for lying while he poured a mug of the steaming brew.
“Anybody made any plans for the day yet?” he asked casually, as he brought his coffee to the island where different sweeteners and dairy products were out and open.
Everyone managed to look justifiably guilty. Danielle ripped a corner off her bagel and said, “Beach for a while. It’s supposed to be sunny, and I haven’t been there in ages.”
“Beach, huh?” Joshua met her too-innocent gaze. “Not helping your manager fix your sudden scheduling problem?”
Emmett made a startled noise, and actually tried to disappear behind Lincoln. Bobby glared at him, while Andy and Danielle simply looked sad.
“You were eavesdropping?” Bobby asked.
“Kind of hard to resist when your topic of conversation is my boyfriend.”
“We don’t want to lie to him—” Danielle started.
“But you’re doing this to protect him, right? So he doesn’t feel responsible?” He wanted to be angry, but he was simply too mixed up himself. “I know Benji better than any of you, so trust me, I know how he’ll get.”
“So you agree with us?” Bobby asked. “It isn’t really lying. All we’re doing is not sharing certain bits of information, until things blow over.”
Joshua blew across the top of his coffee, mostly to buy time before his inevitable response. They could frame it any way they wanted, but in the end, it was still a form of lying, and he hated it. But what was the point of causing Benji unnecessary grief and stress if it was a temporary situation?
“Yeah, fine,” he said.
“Thank you,” Bobby said. “All I’ve ever wanted to do is keep Fading Daze together and successful, and Benji is a huge part of that.”
“I know. And he loves performing with you guys, so let’s hope this is the right move.” Joshua took his coffee into the bedroom and gently resettled on the bed so he could watch Benji sleep.
The novelty of having Benji in his bed never got old, because it happened less than ten percent of the year.
Not to mention the novelty of no parents around.
Up until the accident, both he and Benji had lived with their respective parents for convenience’s sake—Benji in his old room, and Joshua in a basement apartment for which he paid a small amount of rent.
So there had always been family around them.
Then Joshua recovered at Benji’s folks’, and had been in his own place less than two months before coming to the shore for an extended vacation.
Finally, he and Benji were alone together for a week, even if he had a roommate. Plural whenever Emmett was around, which was most nights. And now Fading Daze had crash-landed there.
Still. Benji. His bed. Asleep.
The mental image of Van asleep in bed next to Benji, hair tousled and expression serene, flashed into Joshua’s mind unbidden. His dick took interest in the fantasy.
Drumsticks, pine cones, hot coffee in your lap . . . Think about something else.
He didn’t want Benji to wake up to his boner and feel any kind of pressure. All he wanted out of this next week was for Benji to relax and have some fun. Everything had been too damned stressful for the past couple of months. They both deserved a break.
Once Joshua’s coffee was gone, he played a bit on his phone, until Benji started waking up close to noon. He rolled and stretched, throwing his arms above his head while he arched his back. Yawned.
“Hey, sleepy head,” Joshua said.
Benji sat up slowly, smiling so tenderly it warmed Joshua’s heart. “Morning. Time is it?”
“Lunchtime. Hungry?”
“Definitely.” He smacked his lips a few times and grimaced. “I need a shower first. After sweating under stage lights, and then driving all night, I feel gross. I probably smell.”
“You smell like you. I loved holding you this morning.”
“It felt great being held again. I missed you.”
“Yeah?” Joshua quirked an eyebrow. “Then come up here and show me.”