Chapter 24 #2
“Maybe he left a note and we just haven’t found it,” Melody said. She began buzzing around the apartment, checking on and under furniture. Joshua watched her, unable to move or jump to action, too scared at what he might discover.
“Found a clue!” Melody tugged Van’s cell out from between two couch cushions. “Dead. Shit.” She took it to the charger in the kitchen. “And of course, it’s locked and passworded.”
“Why would he go somewhere and leave his phone behind?” His cell was like an extension of Van’s body. Joshua had never seen him without it, except while naked.
“I don’t know, but it suggests he left in a big damn hurry.”
“Which doesn’t make any sense, because all of his family is either the Off Beat staff, or us.” Joshua quickly shot off a text to Benji. His band didn’t go on until eight, so maybe he’d call back soon. Sure enough, Joshua’s phone rang with Benji’s ID. “Have you talked to Van today?”
“What?” The noise on Benji’s end was deafening, but a second later it muffled to tolerable levels. “Sorry, what’s wrong?”
“I said have you talked to Van today? He didn’t show up for work, he left his phone in the apartment, and no one’s heard from him in a couple of hours.”
“No, not since lunch. Are you saying Van’s missing?”
“Yeah.” Joshua hated phrasing it like that, but “missing” was the best word. “And his phone is protected, so we can’t even see if someone called him.”
“Is his car outside?”
I didn’t even think about that.
Van lived far enough from Off Beat to make walking in extreme temperatures problematic, and it was incredibly cold already for early December. Joshua peeked through the front window. “His car is here.”
“Okay, then he probably didn’t get far, right?” Benji said.
“Unless he took shore transit, or hitched, or God knows what.” Melody kept giving him helpless looks, so he changed the call over to speaker.
“Let’s think about this rationally,” said Benji. “He left his phone behind, which could suggest he got a call and bad news.”
Leave it to Benji to be calm in a crisis.
“But bad news from who?” Joshua asked. “We’re all fine, and he doesn’t talk to his family from Texas.”
“Maybe an old friend from New Orleans?”
“Wait,” Melody said. “Van once told me he has the number of one his older brothers. He’s the only person Van still keeps in touch with.”
Joshua blinked hard, vaguely remembering Van saying something similar. “Do you remember his name?”
“He never gave me a name.”
“So maybe something happened to his old family?” Benji said. “His father is dead, but his mother is still alive. Maybe she’s sick?”
“I can’t see Van freaking out about her,” Joshua said. “He’s always maintained that he hates his adoptive parents and doesn’t care what happens to them.”
“I’m going over all potential scenarios here, okay?”
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, you’re worried. So am I.” Benji let out a sharp breath. “Can you think of any place he might go if he’s upset? Anywhere in town?”
“I’m not—” Joshua froze, one potential place popping into his mind. “Maybe. Listen, babe, I’m going to check this place out, okay? I’ll call you back whether I find him or not.”
“Okay. Be safe.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you back.”
“I’m coming—” Melody started.
“No.” Joshua shook his head. “You need to stay in case he comes back. Call me if he does.”
She pouted, but stayed put.
Joshua grabbed his coat off the back of a chair, shrugged into it, and raced down the exterior stairs to the ground.
Traffic in the area was less challenging in the winter than the summer, but the place still maintained steady tourist business, despite the cold temperatures and threat of snow showers early in the week.
He jaywalked right across the main road, dodging the occasional car, and headed down a side street that led straight for the beach.
This far north, the narrow stretch of beach attracted fewer tourists than the beach south of them.
Van had once commented he liked a particular patch near one of the oldest hotels within eight blocks.
Only four stories tall and build on pylons at the turn of the century, the huge old cottage exterior was as charming as it was faded with the constant barrage of sunlight and salty sea air.
The sun had set almost an hour ago, though, and light from the nearby buildings didn’t reach all the way to the surf line.
In the distance, a bundled up couple was walking a dog on a leash, but the beach seemed otherwise deserted.
Joshua trudged through heavy sand, already shivering from the icy air blowing off the water.
Van told him he’d sometimes do yoga at sunrise here, watching the sun come up over the water, allowing the constant crash of waves to center him.
The spot was incredibly lovely and peaceful, but Joshua didn’t see his boyfriend parked anywhere on the sand.
A hunched shape sat at the shoreline, water swirling around him as wave after wave crashed not five feet farther out. Black hair glinted in the meager light.
What the hell is he doing?
Joshua took off at a dead run, because it was thirty fucking degrees out, and that water had to be freezing.
It splashed his pants and his legs, cold enough to take his breath away.
Van was sitting with his knees tucked close to his chin, staring straight out at the water, seemingly not feeling the cold water that had soaked into his pants and shirt.
“Van?” Joshua squatted in front of him. Van didn’t react, didn’t seem to see him. “Van, it’s Joshua. Can you hear me?”
Nothing. Water splashed onto Joshua’s ass, and he yelped.
“You’re going to freeze to death if you keep sitting here.” He moved behind Van, looped both arms beneath his pits, and lifted. Van didn’t protest, but he also didn’t help. Joshua half-dragged him backward several feet, until they were free of the icy surf, then dumped Van into the sand.
Van sat there, half-sideways, so totally vacant that Joshua started to panic. Except panicking was bad, because Van was wet and cold, and they needed to get indoors.
“Baby, you’re scaring me,” Joshua said. “Please get up and come home. Let me take you home.”
“I left home.” Van’s voice was so soft, Joshua leaned in to hear better. “Left it all behind. Left him behind.”
“Him who? Who did you leave behind?”
No response.
Okay, plan B.
He hoisted Van up again, and this time they both managed to stay on their feet.
He looped Van’s arm around his shoulders and anchored it there, then held Van’s waist with his other hand.
Together, they slowly shuffled their way back across the sand to the deserted side street.
Joshua’s teeth were clattering by the time they’d made it across the main road, but Van didn’t seem aware of the cold. He didn’t seem aware of anything.
The stairs up to the second floor apartment loomed in front of them. Van was becoming unresponsive again, taking smaller steps. The door opened and Melody flew down to help him.
“I found him on the beach,” Joshua said as they began the very slow ascent, one of them on either side of Van. “Sitting in the fucking water. He barely spoke to me.”
“I’ve never seen him like this.” Melody’s voice was hoarse with barely contained tears.
Joshua kept a tight lid on his own fear until they got inside. The heated apartment was nice, but Van’s skin was ice cold. “Mel, run a hot bath, okay?”
She dashed into the bathroom.
Joshua dragged Van to the bathroom door and braced him there while he worked Van’s clothes off.
His pants were frozen, and so were his shoes and socks.
Skin bright red from the cold. By contrast, his chest and back were ghostly pale.
With Melody’s help, he got Van into the tub and the hot, running water.
Van settled as before, knees drawn up, eyes forward and unseeing.
Joshua draped a towel across his shoulders to try and lock in some residual heat from the steam coming up off the water.
“Should we call an ambulance?” Melody asked.
“I don’t think so. He doesn’t look like he’s physically hurt.” Joshua thought back to the beach. “When I asked Van to come home with me, he said something about leaving home and leaving him behind.”
“Him who?”
“He wouldn’t tell me.”
“Listen, I’ll call Beatrice and let her know you found him,” she said. “Maybe she’ll have some idea about this he.”
“Okay.” It took all of Joshua’s self-control not to climb into the tub with Van, just to hold him.
Joshua had finally stopped shivering, but he was cold inside.
Cold with fear and concern and a dozen other things, and mostly he wanted to fix this.
To make it better for Van, and to chase away whatever ghosts had him this deep inside of his own head.
Except he didn’t know how to.
So, Joshua called Benji. “Are you someplace private?” he asked, before taking in the pale, bare wall behind Benji’s head.
“Yeah, back in our room at the motel,” Benji replied. “Are you in the bathroom? Did you find Van?”
Joshua quickly recapped his discovery and subsequent delivery of Van into a hot bath. “Try talking to him, okay?” He shifted around and put the phone in front of Van’s empty stare.
“Van? It’s Benji. Can you hear me? I miss you, and I can’t wait to see you again. I love being on the road, but it’s hard not having you two around.” Benji’s voice got choked up. “Please, say something. Josh?”
“I know.” He leaned in and kissed Van’s cool temple. On his phone, Benji looked close to tears. “Something’s got him and won’t let go, and it’s gotta be huge. Van’s a rock. He doesn’t break like this.”
“I’m coming home.”
“What?” Joshua pulled the phone closer to himself. “You have a gig in less than an hour.”
“Fuck the gig, Josh, you and Van are family. I need to be there for this.”
“We don’t even know what this is.”
“Then I guess you have a couple of hours to figure it out. I’m getting the first flight I can find out of Charlotte, and I will be there.”
“Ben—”
“Take care of Van until I get home.” The connection ended.
I’ll take care of him if he lets me, Ben. That’s a promise.