Chapter Twenty #12
Pretty sure Lany could smell them anyway.
“Can I carry anything out for you?”
Mrs. Martinez pointed to a stack of plates and utensils. “You could carry those out for me. I'll get the rest.”
“Yes, ma'am.” I grabbed the stack and carried it into the dining room. People were just starting to walk in as I set everything down on the table. I went back to the kitchen to get Lany a glass of milk. He didn't need anything stronger.
I grabbed a bottle of wine for everyone else.
I sat down at the head of the table, Lany to my left.
This was always our spots whenever we used the big dining room table and not the smaller breakfast nook off the kitchen.
Tradition said Lany should have been seated at the opposite end of the table from me, but I guess I wasn't a very traditional guy.
I wanted Lany as close to my heart as he could get.
“Eat up,” I told everyone when Mrs. Martinez brought the food out. “We don't stand on ceremony much around here.” We had six kids who were usually eating machines. We didn't have time to stand on ceremony.
I added food to Lany's plate, knowing what he liked, and then filled my own.
Lany was still swaying a bit so I picked up his fork and started feeding him.
I ate my own food in between bites. It may have seemed weird to some people that I was feeding a fully grown man, but those that knew us would understand.
As tired as Lany was, he'd end up stabbing himself with a fork or something just as bad.
It was just easier for me to do it for him.
I frowned as I thought about what Lany had said earlier. Was this one of those things Lany referred to when he said he sometimes felt as if I was his parent and not his husband? I'd been doing it for years. Was I doing it wrong? Should I not be doing it at all?
I glanced at the others sitting around the table. No one was looking at us strangely, so that was a plus, but none of the other married couples were feeding each other.
I slowly lowered the fork to Lany's plate. I suddenly didn't know what the right thing to do was, and that wasn't a feeling I'd had since I first laid eyes on Lany. I had always known exactly what to do with him and how to treat him.
Until now anyway.
“Finish your food, Lany. You need...” I cleared my throat. I was doing it again. “Skip says you need some rest.”
Lany's brow flickered as he reached for his fork. He took a couple of more bites before laying his fork down again. His eyes darted to me for a moment before lowering. “I'm going to go lie down.”
I nodded, not saying a word for fear I'd say the wrong thing.
I felt a pain in my chest as I watched him walk out of the room. Everything in me urged me to grab him and carry him upstairs before tucking him into our bed where I knew he'd be safe.
I stayed where I was.
Lany was right. He was an adult, and I needed to treat him like an adult. If he wanted me to carry him upstairs, he'd ask me. I needed to stop taking his decisions away from him just because I felt I knew better.
I sat there drinking my wine because I doubted I'd get a single bite of food down my throat and watched the doorway.
I stayed until everyone had finished eating and then stood.
“If any of you need to stay the night, rooms can be arranged for you.
We'll start up again in the morning. I'm sure Mrs. Martinez will provide us with a good breakfast.”
There. I'd done my host duties. Now, I was going to do what I'd wanted to do since Lany walked out of the room and go make sure he was okay. He couldn't fault me for checking on him.
On my way out of the dining room, I stopped in the security office. “Brant, I'm headed up to check on Lany. Please ensure that rooms are made ready for anyone that wants to stay the night.”
Brant nodded once. “Of course, sir.”
“We're still on lockdown until further notice.”
“I understand, sir.”
I really did like this man.
I left the security office and walked across the room to the grand staircase. I couldn't count how many times Lany had fallen down these stairs. Each time had scared me to death. How could I stand to the side and watch him fall just because he was an adult?
My feet felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds as I walked up the stairs and headed for our bedroom suite.
Being indecisive was not something I was familiar with, and I didn't like feeling that way now.
I relied on the fact that I was confident in my ability to make split-second decisions, except now I was questioning the choices I made.
I felt rattled right down to my soul.
When I reached the bedroom, I expected to find Lany tucked into bed. I did not expect to find him sitting in a chair by the window going through one of our photo albums.
“Lany?”
“Do you remember when this picture was taken?” he asked without lifting his head.
I walked over to see what picture Lany was talking about. I smiled when I saw the photograph. It was me and him sitting on the new couch he had bought when he replaced everything Sergeant Hugh Booker had destroyed.
“That was taken right after we moved in together.”
“I think this was our first picture together.”
He was probably right.
I squatted down next to the chair and grabbed the book, closing it and then setting it on the floor next to me. “You should be in bed, caro.”
Damn.
Was I ever going to get this right?
“Are you still mad at me?”
“No, of course not,” I said quickly. “I stopped being mad the moment I had you back.”
I think I had been more worried than mad.
I frowned when I saw a tear slide down Lany's cheek. Right decisions or wrong decisions, Lany in tears wasn't okay. I stood, picked Lany up, and then sat down in the chair he had just occupied and settled him on my lap.
“Lany, what's wrong?”
“If you're not mad at me anymore, then why are you being so distant? Did I do something else wrong?”
Porca troia!
“No, caro, you did nothing wrong.” It was me who was getting everything wrong. “You said you felt as if I treated you like you weren't an adult sometimes. I was trying to treat you like an adult.”
Lany's brow furrowed as he frowned. “Remember how you said that maybe that my being a mess and always needing to be rescued meets a need that you have to be the hero?”
I winced. “Yes.”
“I think that it's the same for me. I need a hero in my life.
I need someone to rescue me and take care of me.
When you suddenly stop, I don't know what to do. It feels like it did when we were separated after you asked for a divorce.” Lany glanced down at his hands, twisting his fingers together. “I never want to feel that way again.”
Boy, had I messed this up.
“I'm sorry, caro.” I pressed Lany's head to my shoulder and then gave him a kiss on his forehead. “I never meant to make you feel bad. Those words just got stuck in my head, and I started to worry that I was being too domineering.”
“I like you domineering.”
I chuckled lightly. “Good to know.”
Lany started plucking at the edge of my shirt. “I don't want you to change how you treat me, Sal. I just worry that someday I'm going to be too much.”
“Not possible.” Not as long as I was breathing. “You're perfect, Lany. Yes, you get into messes, and, yes, you tend to make me want to wrap you in bubble wrap, but I don't want you to change either.”
“Liar.”
“Okay.” I chuckled. “I want you to let me know when you're going to go on one of your little adventures. I'm not saying not to go on them. Just inform me first so I'm not panicking while I'm catching a four-hour flight back from Colorado.”
“Oh.” Lany lifted his head. “How was your conference?”
“I really think you need to go with me next time.”
Lany frowned. “Me?'
“There were a lot of assemblies about procedures, safety, and the newest greatest equipment, but everyone kept talking about this bust or that bust. It was kind of boring if you really want to know. My team could have run those busts in their sleep.”
Being a SWAT team was easy. Keeping Lany safe took all of us.
Chapter Eleven
Lany
“You okay now, caro?”
I loved that he was checking.
“Yeah, just a little wound up. Not sure I'm going to be able to go to sleep.”
Sal's chuckle was low and deep and hit me right in the balls. “I'm sure I can tire you out.”
Oh, hell yeah!
Sal's beautiful copper-colored eyes were intense as he gazed down at me.
I swallowed tightly.
God, I wanted this man.
I had wanted Sal from the moment I first laid eyes on him all those years ago, and it hadn't changed. I had serious doubts that I would ever get enough of the handsome man.
“Pants all the way off, Lany.” Sal's voice was deep and slightly rough. “Shirt, too.”
I shivered as Sal released me. My hands shook as I stood and started stripping my clothes off. It wasn't like it had been that long since the last time we had sex, but if felt as if an eternity had passed us by. Ten days was like forever.
I groaned when I bent over to remove my socks and felt a hand glide over my ass, giving me a little pat.
“I love your ass, caro.”
Not exactly romantic, but I'd take it.
I turned to watch Sal kick off his shoes and then unzip his pants and push them down his thighs. His shirt was next. When he was done, he stepped up to me and then cupped my face, rubbing our cocks together as he melded our lips together in a kiss that made my toes curl.
The man was a really good kisser.
I moaned with wanton abandon when Sal cupped my ass in his large hands, pulling me closer, taking the kiss deeper. Goose bumps broke out over my skin when Sal's hands left my ass and slid over my back. I wanted to climb the large man like a monkey and hang on until we melded together.
“You're perfect for me, Lany, just the way you are.”
I smiled as I slid my hand down Sal's muscled chest. “So are you.”
A low guttural growl left Sal's lips.
“On your back,” he instructed.