Blake
We head up to my room, and I close the door behind us.
When I turn to her, she’s fiddling with the hem of the hoodie she’s wearing.
“Should I, um, take off my clothes, or…”
I sit on the edge of my bed. I pat the space next to me. She hesitates before sitting down next to me.
“You don’t need to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, remember?”
She nods.
“So if you don’t want to take your clothes off, you don’t have to,” I say.
Her brow furrows like she’s confused. “How are we supposed to fool around if we’re fully clothed?”
“The point of this is to help you feel comfortable. And diving into this by having you take off all your clothes with zero build-up isn’t going to make you feel comfortable.”
She looks at me, her pretty green doe eyes big. “Oh. That’s a good point. So what are we going to do?”
I cup my hand over her cheek. “We’re going to keep our clothes on. And we’re going to figure out what turns you on.”
She nods and swallows hard. My gaze follows the delicate line of her throat.
“What turns you on, Briar?”
She looks at my mouth. “Kissing.”
That familiar stab of regret hits. There’s no way I can let myself kiss Briar. I’ve been dreaming about it for years, and I know that if I kiss her, I’ll never want to stop. It’ll make her feel like she’s mine, and she can’t be mine. She doesn’t want that.
“But I know you said no kissing on the mouth,” she says shyly.
“I did. But that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you in other places.” I lean forward and press a soft kiss to the side of her neck. I try not to groan at how insanely soft her skin is. Like satin.
When I lean back, I see her eyelids flutter. I start to smile. I think she likes that.
“That’s nice,” she says, her voice breathy. I do it again. I trail soft kisses down her throat.
Her hoodie hangs off her shoulder. I gently kiss her soft skin. “Here?” I say against the delicate slope.
“Yeah, that’s good too,” she rasps.
“Are you turned on?”
Eyes closed, she nods. “Yeah, a little.”
“Good.” I lean back, taking in the gorgeous pink flush coloring her soft skin.
My gaze falls to her chest, and my mouth waters thinking about running my tongue over her nipples.
Not yet. That’s way too much, and I don’t want to overwhelm her.
“Where do you want me to kiss you now?” I ask.
She bites her lip. “My cheek.”
I press my lips softly against her cheek. Then I kiss her other cheek.
I brush her hair out of her face, relishing the dazed look in her eyes and the pretty pink flush climbing up her face. She’s so worked up from kisses on her cheek and neck and shoulder. God, that’s adorable. And sexy.
My cock twitches in my pants. I don’t normally get this turned on from kissing a woman’s cheek, but this is Briar. My crush for the last eight years. Of course I’m turned on.
I’m kissing the hinge of her jaw when her breathing starts to pick up.
“Wait,” she rasps.
I pull away instantly. “Sorry, was that too much?”
She shakes her head. “No, it was nice. I just…” She takes a breath. “Are you going to use your hands on me?”
“If you want me to.”
She starts to nod, but then stops. She looks down at her lap, like she’s unsure. A second later, I put it together: her ex touched her, then forcefully grabbed her. And now she’s nervous about being touched.
“I know you didn’t like it when your ex touched you there, so if you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” I say, hoping that takes the pressure off. “But if you want to try it again, I won’t do it like he did. I’ll be gentle. I’ll make sure it feels good for you, Briar.”
That flicker of doubt in her eyes fades. She bites her lip like she’s still a little unsure. “I know you won’t do what he did,” she says. “It’s just…he made a comment about how I wasn’t as wet as he wanted me to be when he touched me.”
Anger punches through me. That fucking prick. He shoves his hand between her legs with zero buildup, one of the least sexy things he could do, and then he complains about how she wasn’t wet enough.
“That’s not your fault, Briar. He forced himself on you. Of course you’re not going to be wet and turned on.
“I’m more turned on now that I’m with you,” she says, her voice soft and sweet. “But, um, I’m still not very wet, even though I really like the way you’re kissing me. And well, I want you to touch me. I want your hand between my legs. I just want to be more wet first.”
“Yeah, of course. I understand.”
She hesitates. “I don’t have any lube.”
“Oh.” Shit. Why didn’t I think of that? I should have stopped by the drug store today and picked up some. “I don’t have any either. I’m sorry.”
She glances off to the side, like she’s thinking hard. “I think I just need to do more stuff so I can feel more turned on. Then maybe I’ll get wetter. Then you can use your hands on me.”
“What else turns you on?”
She shrugs and lets out an embarrassed chuckle. “I really don’t know. What turns you on?”
You. Literally everything about you turns me on, Briar.
“Like, do you watch porn?” Briar asks.
My brow lifts, surprised by her question.
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Sorry, that’s intrusive. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, it’s okay. We promised to be open and honest. You can ask me anything.”
She looks at me, her eyes big.
“Yeah, I watch porn. And yeah, it turns me on,” I say.
“What do you like to watch?”
I rub the back of my neck, my mind racing to think of a convincing lie because the truth is too humiliating.
The truth? The porn I watch features women who look like Briar. They all have that sweet, pretty, girl-next-door look. They always have blonde hair. And big eyes that are either hazel or green. Cute boobs and a plump ass.
“You really wanna know?” I ask Briar.
“Yeah. And, um, maybe you can show me? I can watch the video, and maybe it would turn me on more. Get me a little more wet before you touch me?”
I’m rock hard instantly. Briar wants to watch porn together?
“Unless that’s crossing a line,” she says quickly.
“No, that’s…” I let out a flustered laugh. “Briar, do you know how sexy it is hearing you say that you want to watch porn with me?”
She starts to smile. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
She sinks her teeth into her lush bottom lip and holds my gaze. “Will you show me what turns you on?”
My cock presses against the front of my jeans, threatening to rip through the fabric. I grab my phone and pull up a video.