Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
ISABEL
Summer takes on a new glow when I wake up at noon. The room is empty; Chiara must’ve already gone down to lunch.
I take my time getting ready. I inspect myself in the mirror.
On the surface, hardly a thing has changed.
There are lines on my cheek from how I slept, and my hair could use a good brushing.
Nevertheless, there seems to me an imperceptible change—perhaps in the way I carry myself.
There is a gleam in my eyes that I haven’t seen in, well, ever.
Still, I recognize it. It’s as if Kieran’s touch restored me, returned me to myself, brought to surface, to the light, the truth of me, the girl at my very core.
There is a line that delineates my life between Before and After last night. I soak in the early moments of life in the After. Then, satisfied with my freshly scrubbed skin and strawberry-scented hair, I head downstairs.
My friends—can I call them that?—are in various states of lounging while others are still pecking at fruits at the dining table. Theirs is a languorous summer, one which I think I’m starting to get the hang of. There is so much of nothing to do, that nothing becomes a task of its own.
“Good morning,” Bo greets from the indoor dining table.
“Afternoon,” Erin corrects. Like Natalia at the head of the table, she’s busy scrolling on her phone.
“Good afternoon,” Bo repeats. “Pineapple?” He holds up a triangular slice, speckled with salt, its juice oozing down his wrist to his elbow.
“You’re going to make the chair all wet and sticky,” Natalia warns.
“Would you rather I make you all wet and sticky on your chair?” Bo teases.
I plop myself down next to Bo and pick a pineapple off his plate. I grimace; there’s a vibrance to it, tart and then sweet.
“Do you want some?” Bo offers me the plate of pancakes in front of him.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Cisco says, reaching his hands over the table to snatch one of the three remaining pancakes.
Bo slaps his hand away. “You’ve eaten like, two plates of this. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“Let him,” Erin says.
There is no sign of Kieran yet. Still sleeping, maybe. I can’t wait for him to wake up, to see for myself whether the same glow of our tryst has enveloped him.
“What’s on the agenda today?” I ask, taking the last two pancakes and slathering it in butter and just enough syrup so as to not overpower its taste.
Mama says I’ve always been particular about things like that.
I slice my pancakes into even triangles, and I eat my food in a specific order.
There’s a rightness to it that I’ve never been able to quit.
“We’re going to the mall,” Natalia says with a sigh, placing her phone facedown. “Buy any last-minute supplies before we head to Oikos.”
“Supplies?” What could she possibly need that she doesn’t already have?
“New bikinis. Accessories. Sunglasses. A beach bag.”
Don’t you have enough? I want to ask, but I don’t want to piss her off.
If I make a snarky comment, however playfully intended, I’m sure to get banned from today’s trip.
I really would like to get out of the house.
No one is holding me hostage, but I could use an excuse to go gallivanting around the city with Kieran—even if it means having everyone else in tow.
When Kieran descends the stairs, his eyes are quick to find mine. What a handsome smile he grants me, no matter how small. And that wave—it’s as if he’s caressing my heart itself.
Christ. A quick tumble in the middle of the night and I’ve gone full melodramatic.
At a quarter past two, we’re all filing into the van. Summer really has taken a different shape; even the sun feels forgiving, its usual piercing heat now akin to a lover’s warm touch.
Kieran and I wait for everyone to settle before we climb in, ensuring that we sit together, our thighs pressing into each other’s, without arousing any suspicion. We have plausible deniability; we just happened to land right next to each other.
The van’s air conditioner is on full blast. Only five minutes into the ride and my fingers are freezing.
When I set them down on my sides, Kieran mirrors me, his pinky lacing in mine.
The risk of getting caught sends my heartbeat racing.
I buzz with the thrill of it, so much so that it’s as if I’m the only one driving down a rocky road.
When I look at Kieran, he’s smiling out the window, his chin resting on his palm.
I pulse my pinky around his. He squeezes back.
Everyone is too wrapped up with their phones to notice.
To my surprise, our group doesn’t split when we get to the mall.
Usually, the boys would go off to do their own thing, and us girls do something else.
Laughter abounds when Bo hangs a bikini top around his shoulders and asks what we think.
Jaime tosses another set at Erin, who is quick to respond with a, “You wish,” before ducking into a dressing room with a mauve one piece.
I find Kieran lingering by the racks. I pretend I’m inspecting the store’s offerings and just happen to end up by his side.
“Hi,” I greet.
“Hello.”
No sweeter words have ever been exchanged.
He reaches out to finger the fabric of a red string bikini. “This looks like it would hardly cover anything.”
“But you like it,” I say.
He laughs. “Do I like it?” Under his breath, so that only he and I would hear, he adds, “I think it’s more I’d like to see you wear it.”
My stomach flutters. It’s decidedly out of my comfort zone, but I’m eager to feel him on my skin, to see the look on his face when I strip down to reveal myself in it.
I shiver with the idea of him kissing down my neck to my shoulders as he peels the strap down. I rifle through the rack for my size.
This time, he joins the rest of the group by the dressing room.
There’s a pained look in his eyes when I emerge from my stall fully clothed. All the other girls gave a good show, spinning this way and that. It wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary for me to do the same thing and get away with it. Instead, I play nonchalant.
“What did you get?” Ravina asks, taking the hanger from me to hold it up for inspection. “Ooh. Fiery red. Very sexy.”
“Not giving us a show, Sugar?” Bo asks, wiggling his brows at me.
“Pay me,” I snap back, making him laugh.
Kieran looks relieved I hadn’t gone out in my bikini now.
* * *
“Where to next?” Natalia asks, startling me when she slips her arm through mine. She paid for everyone’s haul, waving me off when I offered to pay for mine.
“All expenses paid is all expenses paid,” she had said.
“Can we look at shoes?” Luz asks. “I want new sandals.”
“Wait, I need new sunscreen,” Ravina adds. “I just ran out.”
But Jaime has already dragged Bo and Cisco off to some streetwear store, leaving Kieran standing around with the rest of us girls.
I lift my hand. “Is it okay if I pop by the bookstore?” There was nothing more comforting to me than walking through the aisles of the bookstore’s wooden shelves, letting my eyes wander with the thought that if the universe wanted me to read a specific book, its spine would jump out at me.
Natalia makes a face. I smile innocently at her. No way in hell she’s coming with.
“Go ahead,” she says, withdrawing her arm from me and lacing it through Ravina’s instead.
“They sell art materials there,” I say to Kieran, “if you want to have a look.” A high-risk, high-reward maneuver, but if Natalia thinks anything of it, she says nothing.
Kieran jolts upright, alert. I flash him an entreating look.
“Are you already out of paint?” Natalia asks him.
“I’m in need of more, um, reds,” he says. Not the best at lying, I see. Natalia smiles and nods.
“Do you need my help picking?”
“I’ll be alright,” Kieran says. “Where should we meet you?”
It astounds me how quickly he can manage her. He leaves her no room for negotiations.
“Meet back here in an hour? We’re probably going to Rustan’s across the road.” Natalia turns to Ravina. “They have more options.”
Bingo. It would take them at least ten minutes to walk that far, and I know there’s no way in hell Natalia would walk in this heat with all the smog threatening to clog up her pores.
That means she’ll have to wait for the van to fetch her and then sit through traffic just to no doubt spend an hour minimum inspecting the displays in the beauty department.
“Ready to go?” Kieran asks me. I wonder if it would feel any less exciting if we didn’t have to hide. If we could just reach out for each other’s hand and walk through the mall that way, not caring who bears witness to our displays of affection.
I lead Kieran to the basement level where the bookstore is. We’re just about there when he pulls me into a hallway leading to the restrooms and kisses me. Whatever breath I had in me, he snatches right out of my lungs.
He thumbs at my cheeks, forehead pinned against mine. “I’ve been waiting all day to do that,” he says.
I touch his elbow. I’m jittery with excitement and the fear that we’ll get caught.
“I missed you,” he murmurs, and then steals another kiss. “I wish we never had to sleep so we could just hang out all night.”
I laugh. I don’t know what else to say other than I agree, so I kiss him instead.
“Did you really want to go to the, um—?” he asks.
“Bookstore?” I ask. “And yes, I do. I need to decompress.”
Every time his thumb grazes my cheek, I feel like my knees are going to give way. The only thing keeping me upright is his body, firm and solid against mine.
An older woman clears her throat as she passes us, a disapproving look in her eye. Kieran and I can’t help but laugh when we pull away. He takes my hand and leads me out, and then it’s my turn to take him to the bookstore.