Chapter 33 #2
I bend down to kiss him again. “I love you, too.”
“Stop dancing with Bo,” he says, pouting.
“Does it make you jealous?”
He nods. The thought makes me aroused all over again.
“I like what jealousy does to you,” I say. “If the quickie was any indication.”
“You’re evil,” he says as I’m slipping out the door. “Evil!”
I’m grinning when I re-emerge on the deck. Bo spreads his arms out, one hand gripping the champagne bottle, the other raising a glass in a toast. “To Sugar!” he cries out.
Everyone lifts their glasses and cheers.
“To Sugar!”
* * *
We dive into the deep blue waters. Or the guys do, with Erin, and Chiara—who reveals that she was a competitive swimmer in high school.
The rest of us wade and waddle. In truth, I’m petrified to be in the ocean.
Jaime must sense it, because I don’t notice him sink underwater until he chomps my ankle. I yelp and try to get away.
He resurfaces, laughing. “What, you think a shark has dull teeth like that?”
Kieran splashes him. “Don’t be a dick, man.”
Natalia beckons me over to her, where she’s sitting on the edge of the yacht’s swim platform, legs swinging in the water. “Come here,” she says. “I’ll keep you safe.”
I haul myself up and take the cocktail slushy she hands me. “Pina colada,” she says. “Do you like it?”
I like that it’s cold.
Natalia leans back against her palms and sighs contentedly. “You’re getting tanner,” she says. “It looks good on you. Healthy.”
I don’t know how to respond to her compliments; I tense up, waiting for the inevitable insult that never comes. Belatedly, I thank her.
Jaime swims toward us and grabs my foot.
“Jaime!” I kick him.
“I’m sorry, Sugar,” he coos, pressing tiny kisses on my toes. I try to wriggle free. Despite her earlier promise to keep me safe, Natalia only laughs. “Forgive this hungry little shark?” Jaime asks.
I kick hard, my foot landing on his nose.
“Ow, fuck!” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “What the fuck, Isabel?”
I open my mouth to apologize, eyes watering with tears of frustration and humiliation, but then Natalia presses a hand on my back.
“Are you okay?” she asks. Then to Jaime: “You deserved that. Go fuck off and bother someone else.” He huffs and swims away.
I catch Kieran’s concerned look but there’s no way for me to meaningfully respond.
“You really dodged a bullet,” Natalia says to me. “You see why I dumped his ass?”
I sniffle, then manage a laugh. “You were always too good for him.”
I’m surprised that I mean it.
* * *
It’s inevitable that we break off into smaller groups after the sun sets, its last rays painting the sea coral.
Ravina, Erin, and Luz join Natalia in her room to wind down; Chiara and I nap under the sky.
It’s a light but peaceful sleep, cradled in the ocean’s rocking embrace.
When we get back on land, I text Mama about Luz’s interest in opening a store with her.
Mama’s thrilled; she never uses emojis, but she sends me a whole paragraph of crying ones, and the hands pressed together in prayer.
I’m grinning from ear-to-ear when I sit next to Luz during lunch. “I’m nearly done with Mere Christianity,” I say. “I should be done by the time we get back.”
“Cool,” she says. Her tone is curt, dry. It’s a complete 180 from the night before.
Brows furrowed, I press on. “I told my mom about your interest.” A pause. “Should we schedule a meeting for when we get ba—”
“Rav, can you pass me the juice?” Luz ignores me, holding out a hand toward the pitcher.
Did I do something wrong?
“Luz—”
“Do whatever you want,” she snaps. “That’s your style, isn’t it?”
I slump back in my seat, face burning, feeling defeated. It’s like I always take one step forward and two steps back with everyone. I don’t understand it.
* * *
At the beach, I stare at my phone, unsure how to respond to Mama’s text.
Mama
God is so good! Please tell Luz I am so grateful to her. I will clear my schedule so we can meet whenever it’s most convenient.
What do I tell her? Is it off? Do I tell Mama Luz has changed her mind?
Do whatever you want. That’s your style, isn’t it?
What could Luz have possibly meant by that?
Isabel
I’ll update you later, Mama. Luz is busy.
Not a lie, but not the truth either. I bite my lip and hit send.
Chiara drops down next to me and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Cisco’s being annoying again.”
“What’d he do?”
She starts ranting about their most recent spat, but I don’t really get what it’s about. Its provenance is lost on me, like it’s a long-standing argument they can’t ever get to the bottom of. I’m grateful when Ravina joins us, because I can excuse myself to bury my head in the pool and scream.
Kieran steps out of his villa, sunglasses in hand.
“Hey,” he greets. All my anxieties come rushing back into me after the way Luz treated me. It’s piggybacking off of her cold shoulder. It’s like I’ve peaked and now the other shoe is dropping. It’s all downhill from here.
“Do you think I’m pregnant?” I ask in a hushed tone.
“What? No. It can’t happen that fast.”
“No, but what if I’m about to be? Right? What if I was ovulating? Rocío says sperm can live inside me for a few days.” A lack of sex education in the Philippines means I only have Google to go off of.
“Oh. Fuck. Okay. Okay.” He slips on his shades and pushes it up to his head. “It’s fine. It’ll be fine. You’re probably not, but if you are, then I’ll take care of you.”
“Kieran!”
“Shit, I’m sorry!”
I groan. Google says it’s too early to start freaking out; I have to wait until this cycle ends to find out if I’m late. But anxiety can also make it come late, so I’m shit out of luck.
He reaches out to touch me but stops. I follow his gaze and see Bo approaching.
“Thanks,” I say loudly, hastily reaching for his sunglasses and putting it on. At night. Stupid. “I’ll give it back to you later, okay?”
Catching on, Kieran nods. We part ways as he picks up a conversation with Bo, steering him back toward the beach.