Fourteen
Saylor
How was it that one moment could make everything you knew appear differently? For example, as I sat in the center of my canopy bed—my knees pulled up to my chin, my arms tightly wrapped around my legs—and studied my bedroom, it was brighter. The items I saw every day stood out, like the French bedding that broadcasted its luxury.
My skin was aware of every molecule in the air, sensitive, awakened.
Lifting my pointer finger, I ran the fingertip along my lips, tracing them.
Father Jude had walked out, left me there without a word, but I’d seen it. Our eyes had connected, and his had spoken for him. Stating clearly what he wanted.
My nipples hardened as I thought about it, and a shiver ran through me.
He hadn’t even touched me, yet the reaction Jude had caused—affecting me still, even hours later—was new. As if I had been living in the dark and he flipped the light switch I hadn’t known was there. I didn’t want to close my eyes, for fear when I woke up, this would have faded. My world would be dimmed.
My cell phone buzzed beside me, and I dropped my gaze to see Gathe’s name. I wanted to ignore him and live on this high. No reminders of before.
It buzzed again. He would call next.
I picked it up and swiped my finger over the screen.
Gathe:
Ransom said you were inside with the priest for a while tonight.
Gathe:
I warned you about those gates of hell. Don’t ignore me.
Those gates didn’t scare me.
Saylor:
He brought me dinner from the meeting they’d had since I had been working and didn’t go.
Leave it alone, Gathe. Just let me soak in it. Don’t spoil this for me.
Gathe:
Ransom also mentioned when the priest walked out, he did so like the demons of hell were at his feet.
He was enjoying this too much.
Saylor:
I’m going to bed.
I started to put the phone down.
Gathe:
Did you fuck the priest?
The jolt that went right between my legs almost made me moan.
Leave me alone, Gathe. I want to go back to my thoughts.
Saylor:
No. He is a priest. They are celibate.
Silence.
Dropping the phone, I was relieved that he was shutting up, but then it buzzed again, and I considered turning it off. Grabbing it, I aggressively slid my finger over the screen, then sucked in a breath when I saw it was from Jude.
Jude:
Are you awake?
He was texting me. A thrill buzzed under my skin as I went to respond.
Saylor:
Very much so.
I tried to remember to let oxygen in while watching the dots on the screen as he typed. They stopped, then started again. I wondered if he had deleted something, and if so, what had he deleted? This was taking too long. My anxiety was starting to set in.
Jude:
You smell like vanilla and cinnamon.
I read that three times. Okay, that was flirting. Yes? I normally knew flirting, but he was a priest. They didn’t flirt.
Saylor:
You smell like sunshine, a fresh breeze across a field.
My finger hovered over the Send button for a brief moment, and then I closed my eyes and pressed it.
Dots. Whew. He was going to respond.
Jude:
I didn’t realize you had smelled me, and is that a good thing?
A small giggle bubbled out of me, and I was glad no one could hear that.
Saylor:
It’s very good. In fact, it’s become my favorite scent. I’ve even smelled body washes, trying to find it.
I hit Send and bit my lip, not sure if that was too much truth for him.
No dots. Crap. I waited. Then, there they were.
Jude:
What are you doing?
Change of subject, Father. All right.
Saylor:
Sitting on my bed. What are you doing?
I tried to imagine him at home, without the collar, but it was hard.
Jude:
Lying in bed. Replaying tonight’s events in my head. Mainly the events where you were. Or just only the events that involved you.
Oh, he’s going there. Did I want him to? What if he took my high away?
Saylor:
What? Do I smack when I eat? Or did I have taco sauce on my face?
Keep it light, Saylor. Maybe he won’t end it.
Every second the dots appeared, I was owned. I’d never have thought such tiny things could hold the power to change my entire mood.
Jude:
You eat like you do everything. Flawless. Unfortunately for me, there was nothing on your face. If there had been, I’d have had an excuse to touch you.
Okay, priest or not, this man was flirting hard. My cheeks ached from smiling so big.
Saylor:
I thought you were going to for a minute there.
Finger hovering over the screen…hovering…and I pressed send. I covered my face with one hand and peeked at the screen through my fingers, like I did during every horror movie I watched.
Jude:
Me too.
Two words, but potent enough to make me feel lightheaded. I stared at the screen. Unsure of what to say. If I pushed for more, would he shut down? Would it make it awkward?
Dots…he was typing. I waited.
Jude:
Will you come to the 10:30 Mass tomorrow?
I had been considering going. But now that he’d asked, I knew I would be.
Saylor:
Yes. Will there be more greenery we wave about?
I chewed my bottom lip while the dots appeared.
Jude:
That was Palm Sunday. Our services don’t normally involve plants.
Laughing, I quickly texted back.
Saylor:
Why the 10:30 Mass?
He’d been so specific, and I wanted there to be a reason why. It was his last Mass time of the morning. I was afraid to hope it was because he might want to see me after.
Jude:
Other than I want to see you?
My face was going to be sore from all the smiling.
Saylor:
Are you sure? You couldn’t get away from me fast enough tonight.
He immediately began his response. So brave behind his phone.
Jude:
The walk to the rectory had never been so brutally painful. Yes, I would like to see you, and after, I’d like to take you somewhere.
Saylor:
What is a rectory?
I could have probably Googled that and looked less like an idiot.
Jude:
Where I live. The house supplied by the church. The woods behind the church have a short path that leads to it.
So, he was always there. At the church or on its property. No other life. Why would someone want that?
Saylor:
Where are you taking me?
I didn’t want the conversation to end.
Here he went again with the dots coming and going. Was it that hard to answer? Or maybe he just wanted to spend time with me and wasn’t sure yet.
Jude:
You mentioned adding a food pantry to Threads. There is one in Jackson that is well done, and I thought you’d like to see it. Get ideas.
I absolutely would. I had thought I’d bring it up again in a week or so, but he’d already been thinking about it. As happy as that made me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish this were all just a way for him to spend time with me.
Saylor:
That would be great. Thank you.
Jude:
I should be the one thanking you. Good night, Saylor. See you in the morning.
Saylor:
Good night.