Twenty-Five
Saylor
The rest of the meeting, I couldn’t even say Jude treated me like everyone else. He acknowledged them. I might as well have been invisible.
Sunday, I worked on my tan and managed to read an entire book. It was a romance, and the sex scenes helped fuel my imagination since there was none of that happening in my life, but I read every last word. The only pages I read more than once were the explicit ones.
Jude texted me at ten p.m.
Jude:
Are you awake?
I didn’t respond.
Monday, Sister Mena tried not to smile when I walked in the door, but I saw it. She wasn’t fooling me. The caramel vanilla cappuccino I brought her with two different cake pops only made her love for me grow. I broke down boxes, hauled them to recycle, discussed the space for the food pantry with Sister Mena, who was much more agreeable—thank you, Starbucks—and got the hell out of there at four before Mena locked up and left.
No late-night texts.
Today, I decided that I was going to shake off my feelings. I was playing some stupid game with a priest. We weren’t being anything remotely close to friends. He had gotten me to come back, and now, there was some weirdness, and I didn’t know the rules. Sister Mena wasn’t here on Tuesdays, which meant I had to deal with the fact that Jude could show up at any time and I’d be alone. If he asked me why I’d ignored his text, I would be honest. I hadn’t wanted to. Okay, well, that was a lie. I had wanted to, but I was pissed.
Unlocking the door, I went inside, turned on the lights, put my binders down, and tucked my purse under the cabinet. I’d not gotten coffee, but I would survive. Maybe go there for lunch.
Right when I opened my blue binder to see what else I needed to get finished, the door opened. I had locked it. That meant it was someone with a key. I knew who without looking.
“Good morning,” I said, lifting my head with the best smile I could muster. “How can I help you?”
The hard expression on his face and the fact that he continued stalking toward me wiped the smile off my face. I wasn’t invisible today. But perhaps being invisible would be better.
“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, Father?” I quipped.
He stopped and planted both hands on the counter between us. “You’re avoiding me again.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d notice. Seeing as, on Saturday, I became invisible.”
His nostrils flared as he stared at me. “What would you have had me do, Saylor? Look at you and grow more livid by the moment, ready to rip a man’s head off right in front of everyone?”
I frowned. “Are you jealous of Crow?” I asked, wanting him to admit it.
“Yes.” He seethed. “I am jealous of Crow. I’m so jealous that I can’t sleep. I can’t think about anything else. It’s a constant taunt that never stops.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “The part of the talk you gave me on my birthday didn’t involve me not dating people. I wasn’t aware that would be an issue.”
He shoved off from the counter and let out a maniacal laugh so unlike him that I tensed up. “Yeah, well, seems I wasn’t prepared for my reaction. I didn’t know there was this threat to my sanity waiting, untouched, until I watched you smiling, flirting, sitting too damn close to another man. And then saying yes to a date with him.” He ran a hand through his hair.
The crazed look in his eyes sent a shot of excitement right between my legs. I liked that it’d made him jealous.
I uncrossed my arms and stood up. “I guess this is just one of those things we will learn to navigate. To our situationship or whatever it is. I won’t date anyone in the church so you won’t know or see it.”
He took two long strides, stopping only inches from me. “You think that’s gonna help?” he asked me, his eyes so heated that I wanted to whimper. God, he was hot, but like this, he was fire. “I’ll live every second obsessing over if you’re seeing someone. If you went on a date. If he touched you. I will lose my mind, Saylor.” He said the last part through his teeth.
I wanted to say, Good .
But that wasn’t going to be what pushed him over the edge. I might not be the girl he loved, but I was the woman he wanted now. He had become a priest for her, but he had broken his vows for me.
“I didn’t take a vow of celibacy, Father. And I don’t intend to live a life of celibacy because you don’t want me.” Nudge, nudge, shove.
He grabbed my shoulders and pushed my back against the wall. “I never said I didn’t want you,” he said in a low voice. His eyes dropped to my lips. “In fact, want isn’t strong enough of a word for this, Dimples.” He ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “No, baby, it’s not want,” he whispered. “It’s a longing that devours my spirit, my beliefs. It delves into every pore, eradicating everything else until there’s just you.”
He slid his palm over my cheek until he was cupping my face. His head tilted, and the green of his eyes reminded me of velvety moss today as he fought the turbulence of emotions fighting inside him. I stood, waiting. My breaths coming in short pants as I watched him make a choice. His other hand came up to cover the opposite cheek, and he held my face, his eyes lifting from my mouth to meet my gaze.
“I can no longer pretend that I’m capable of living this life without touching you,” he whispered, then lowered his head.
I could smell mint as his mouth touched mine. The tip of his tongue darted out, parting my lips. I opened them as I gripped the back of his neck, my knees going weak.
The first brush, the first moment of connection, was a surrendering. My tongue chased his as a deep groan vibrated in his chest. He slid his right hand down to my neck, then gripped it briefly, and then he ran his hot palm over my chest before filling it with a breast. I dropped my hands to grip the sleeve of his shirt. Fisting the fabric and pressing my chest forward as he squeezed one mound, then moved to the other.
It wasn’t a kiss. This was a devouring. Carnal need, passion, depraved desires. It all unleashed as our bodies melded together, our hands groping to feel more.
When he jerked the skirt of my sundress up, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine. Our ragged breaths mingled as neither of us spoke.
Our eyes locked while he moved his hand over my panties. I parted my legs for him, and his breath stuttered. The tips of his fingers running along the edge of the silk.
The moment his touch met the satin feel on my waxed mound, a curse fell from his lips. The juices of my arousal coated his fingers, and he let out a long, deep groan as he sank two fingers inside me.
“I want inside you,” he said huskily.
“Don’t tease me with it,” I begged. “If you’re not going to do it, then don’t tell me you want to.”
He closed his eyes, stepping closer, moving his head to rest on the wall as he sank his fingers in all the way to the knuckle. “Tell me you want it. Beg for my dick.”
I lifted a knee, spreading myself open. “Fuck me, Jude. Please, I want you to fill me. Stretch me. I want to get off with your cock in me.”
He yanked his fingers out and stepped back while he began to suck them both clean. “I need more of that,” he said as his tongue licked his lips.
“Take off your sundress.” His hooded eyes stayed on me. Waiting for me to obey. Not wanting to miss a moment.
My eyes glanced toward the windows. The reminder that although they were tinted, if someone got close enough, they could see inside was a nuisance right now. He backed up and crooked his finger for me to follow him. The area I’d cleaned out for the food shelving was beyond the windows with a column blocking its view.
I went toward him while slowly pulling my dress up until I could tug it over my head. Dropping it to the floor as I stopped in front of him. There was a predatory gleam in his eyes as he took in my body inch by inch. His throat constricted, the veins in it standing out.
“Panties off. Leave on the boots.”
Hooking a finger in each side, I slid them down my thighs, then let them fall before tugging them over my boots. I kicked the small slip of fabric away, then lifted my eyes to his. His expression as he stared at my naked flesh was worshipful, sinful.
I waited until his eyes met mine again. The tip of his tongue licked his lower lip.
“There are so many things I want right now.” His words were a hoarse whisper.
Closing the space between us, I reached for the top button on his shirt, tugging free the white collar, then placing it on a box behind him before continuing to work my way down. The first sliver of tanned skin had me moving faster. One warm, large palm ran over my hip, then slid down to cup my butt.
I tugged the bottom of his shirt free of his pants, then finished my task before shoving it off his shoulders. He took over and discarded it while I ran a hand over the hard ripples of his abs before moving to the slacks he wore. His hands moved mine out of the way as he jerked down the zipper. He toed off his shoes, then shoved both the slacks and boxer briefs he had on down his legs.
I sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was beautiful. Every hard detail, sculpted to perfection. The thickness of his cock didn’t intimidate me as much as the length did.
“Keep staring at it like that, Dimples, and I won’t last long,” he warned, then snatched me to him.
Our mouths collided once more. This time, there was a ferocity as his tongue thrust into my mouth. Jude wrapped my hair around his fist and tugged my head back. His mouth moved over my jaw to my exposed neck, where he licked at the skin, murmuring how sweet I tasted.
I lifted my right knee, moving it up his body, wishing I had worn a higher heel so that I could feel his hard length against my clit. He let go of his grip on my hair and grabbed my waist, picking me up to set me on the box of metal shelving where I had left his collar. It placed me high enough so that our bodies met where we both craved. I opened my thighs wide, reaching for him, but he shook his head, his eyes locked on my folds, glistening with arousal.
When he finally stepped forward, his hard chest brushing against my nipples and the head of his cock pressing against the aching slit between my legs, a whimper came from me. He held his thick member in his hand and ran the tip up to my clit and back before easing it in, just until the head sank inside.
“Oh God,” I moaned, watching it.
Jude’s eyes lifted to look at me, and I tore mine from our joined bodies to meet his gaze. The complete devotion I found held me spellbound. He began to ease in, stretching me. His nostrils flared, mouth slightly open. I wanted to memorize this moment. How he looked at me. The euphoria as my inner walls squeezed him, struggling to take the girth.
The moment his full length was buried inside me, a deep hum of pleasure vibrated through his chest. His hand grabbed the back of my neck, bringing my lips close to his, but not touching.
“There is no power that is greater than the way you feel, wrapped around my cock.” His voice was husky as his breath warmed my face. “I’d imagined it. But this tight, wet heat…there isn’t an imagination that could conjure up this level of paradise.”
He kissed me then. Soft at first, then with a fervor as his teeth claimed my bottom lip and a growl came from his throat. I bucked my hips against him, and he began to slide out, just until the tip was all that was in me. Then, he sank back in, groaning. The box shook beneath me, and the stiff fabric from his collar rubbed against my butt.
My blonde locks were wrapped around his hand again as he held me back, watching my face while our bodies slapped against each other. The sound playing in rhythm to our heavy pants became my favorite song.
The tingling low in my belly spread, and the flickering before my climax turned into sparks. I grabbed his biceps, sinking my nails into his skin.
“I’m gonna come,” I cried just before it broke over me.
My body spasmed as he held me pressed against him.
“Fuck…I need…” His words were frantic, and then a long, deep roar rolled through him as he jerked and began to pump his release into me.
The heat as the thick spurts of his cum filled me threw me into another orgasm.
“Oh—oh my God.” I threw my head back and rode the delirium exploding throughout my body. I’d never felt this. The bare skin of his cock had been one thing, but the animalistic experience of having his pleasure deep inside me was euphoric.
Jude’s head dropped to my shoulder. His arms tightened as he continued to hold me. There was no church or reality in this moment. Just us. Our bodies locked together. I wanted to stay here like this forever.
“If I’m supposed to apologize for not wearing a condom and coming inside you, I can’t. I’d be lying,” he said against my neck as he turned his head slightly.
“I’ve never done that before,” I admitted.
He pressed a kiss to the pulse point in my neck before leaning back enough to look at me. “It didn’t hit me that I was inside you bare until you started coming, and I did try to pull out, but”—a wicked grin tugged his lips—“I couldn’t do it.”
His finger tucked some of my hair behind my ear.
“I’ll go get the morning-after pill,” I told him. “I, uh, haven’t had sex since Crosby, and we always used condoms. I had my IUD taken out a couple of months ago, so…” I wasn’t on birth control.
He let out a sigh. “Again, probably should be apologizing here, but I can’t.”
A small laugh escaped me, and his eyes slowly drifted over my face, as if I were a fascinating work of art he couldn’t believe was real. This man made me weak.
“As much as I’d like to, I can’t stay buried inside you forever. Seeing as how that was the single most incredible experience of my life, I know my dick is going to be ready to go again at any minute.”
I wasn’t against that, but he’d been gone awhile. Someone could come looking for him. Right now, it smelled like sex in here. We wouldn’t be able to hide it if they started knocking.
I nodded, and he pulled out of me, stepping back. I started to put my legs together, and he used a hand to stop me.
“No. Wait,” he said, dropping his gaze down to look at me. “I want to see my cum leak out.”
Oh good Lord, he was going to kill me.
I clenched, pushing it down, and while he watched his seed seep from me, I watched him. There was a reverence in his gaze. I wasn’t falling in love with him. I’d already fallen. I could feel the difference now. The depth of it was one that gripped the soul. Your breaths were no longer your own. Your heart no longer beat for you. It all hinged, locked together, around another.
I was in love—truly, completely in love—for the first time in my life.