Twenty-Eight
Jude
I bolted out the door the moment her Range Rover pulled up next door. The shit twisting inside me had passed frantic a while ago, after thirty minutes of my calling, texting, and getting no response. Her vanilla-cinnamon scent had faintly wafted by me the moment I walked into my office. She’d been here. So, why the hell had she left?
Jerking the door open, I stalked into the building, my eyes scanning the area until they locked on her, unloading a bag. She stilled, then looked up at me. A tight smile touched her lips. I didn’t want that smile. I didn’t like that smile. It was without dimples. Her eyes didn’t sparkle.
“Where did you go?” My question sounded like a barked command.
She tensed, and her eyes flared with the fire I loved. “Hello to you too,” she said, her shoulders back and her chin slightly lifted.
“You went to my office. I could smell you. Why did you leave?” I asked less aggressively this time.
I could see the challenge as it shadowed her face.
“I needed to be alone to think. Decide what I could and couldn’t live with,” she replied.
“What does that mean?” I asked, moving toward her. The urge to grab her and hold on tight clawing at me. Panicked that she was about to slip away.
“I saw her photo on your desk, Jude.” The words were matter-of-fact. No emotion, but the pain that slashed across her face kicked me in the chest.
FUCK! Why hadn’t I thought about that? Because all I could think about was getting her alone again. Being near her. Being in her.
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to find the right words to explain that when I wasn’t sure I had any that would make her feel better.
“It’s okay. Like I said, I needed to be alone to think. I spent two hours driving around and talking to myself.”
I searched her face as if the answers were written on it. Desperate to find the one that told me she wanted me. She wasn’t leaving me. I would chase her down if she tried.
“It’s not…” I began. What did I say? “I don’t…” DAMMIT! I had to say something to bring that smile back.
“You don’t have to explain. I worked through it. I’m not her. I will never be her. But she’s not here, and I am. I can walk away from this and hurt myself. Or I can stay and be whatever it is you want from me. I don’t want to lose this, whatever it is”
I was on her. Not sure I could handle hearing another word because she was twisting the poker in my chest deeper with every single word she uttered.
I held her face in my hands, pressing my mouth against hers in a desperate need to silence her. When she opened for me, a sigh of relief, mingled with a moan of pleasure, escaped me. My tongue sought hers, brushed over it, needing the connection, craving it, her.
I sank my fingers into her hair, tilting her head so I could pull her closer against me. Wanting no distance between us. No chance she could break free. I required her to breathe deeply.
Moving my mouth over the line of her jaw, inhaling her scent, I trailed down her neck to the silver chain that lay flat against her flawless skin. I ran a fingertip over the line of her throat and across her collarbone to rest on the small sunshine that hung there. So close to her heart. Which I could feel beating beneath my touch.
“You’re still the only one who lights up my day.” I repeated those words to her. I couldn’t explain why Delana’s photo sat on my desk. The words, I feared, would hurt her, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it. But this? This was a truth. One that I could give her.
“I know,” she replied. “That’s why I came back.”
I pulled back, looking down into the blue pools glistening with unshed tears. The agonizing stab of pain at the sight made my knees buckle.
“Please, please don’t cry,” I pleaded, feeling so fucking powerless.
She sniffled and gave me a sad smile. “I’m really trying hard not to.”
That made it worse. Reaching up to cup her face again, I brushed the pads of my thumbs over her cheekbones. Yes, she was perfection—her beauty the kind that turned heads, caused priests to sin—but the strength, determination, will, and desire to serve a purpose were what made her truly breathtaking. If only she could see it.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I continued caressing her. “It makes me physically ill to see you hurt. Knowing it’s me doing it is my own personal hell.”
She turned her head slightly, kissing my palm. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” I replied. “It’s not okay. Don’t say what you think I want to hear. Don’t ever say what you think anyone wants to hear. What you feel is important.”
A tear slipped free, and I caught it. The warmth felt as if it singed my skin. Lifting my thumb to my mouth, I sucked it off. Tasting the pain, wishing that I could take it away.
“Jude,” she said, her voice shaky, “I need to feel you.”
Keeping my eyes on hers, not wanting to miss any emotion she might be hiding, I unfastened my slacks, then shoved them down, along with my boxers, before bunching the denim skirt she was wearing at her waist. Grabbing her leg, I hooked it under my arm, lifting her off the ground while sliding the crotch of her panties over, then sank into her in one hard thrust.
“Yes,” she moaned, letting her head fall against the wall behind her. I used it to help hold her up and grabbed her waist while she wrapped her legs around me.
I had a condom in my pocket that I’d put there for this morning in my office. Yet, once again, here I was, balls deep inside her without one on. The windows weren’t close to us, but I still hadn’t considered the fact that we weren’t truly hidden. If someone were to press their face against the glass, they could find us. Fucking. Or at least see my bare ass with her legs locked around my waist while I pounded into her.
“Fuuuck,” I groaned as her tight cunt squeezed me, sucking me in. I would kill for this. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to sink inside her. “Forgot the condom. I’ll pull out.” At least I would try.
“S’okay,” she panted. “Not the right time of the month.”
A dark chuckle came from me as I rocked into her. “That’s a gamble, Dimples.”
Her hands gripped my arms. “I know, but I want to feel you releasing inside me.”
My balls tightened at her words. The tingle warning me that I was real damn close. I slowed, trying to hold back. Saylor began to bounce on my dick.
“No, don’t stop. Harder, please. Fuck me harder!”
Jesus, I wasn’t going to be able to take that. I slammed into her as she screamed my name and tried like hell to keep from erupting. The look on her face as she chased her orgasm was pushing me over the edge.
“JUDE! OH! AH!” Her body convulsed in my arms as a hot gush coated my dick.
I went off like a bomb exploding. Her nails clawed my back as her release trickled down my balls and thighs while rope after rope of cum shot into her. Nothing could have made me pull out. If Sister Mena walked in, she’d just have to watch the show because the bliss I was being held in was all that mattered.
“God, baby.” My voice was hoarse. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Tremors still racked my body as I held on to her. Keeping her tight against my chest as I fought to regulate my breathing.
When her legs started to slide down my hips, I grabbed her ass to hold her up and walked over to the stool, sitting her down while staying inside her.
“Not yet,” I said against her ear. “Not ready to pull out just yet.”
We stayed like that, saying nothing. I wanted to believe this fixed it all. That her early hurt was gone now. But I knew that wasn’t true.
“Jude.” She said my name softly.
“Yes?”
She sucked in a ragged breath, then let it out. “Don’t break me,” she said. “Crosby hurt me, but you…you have the power to wreck me.”
I pulled back just enough to see her face. “Dimples, you wreck me every time you come for me.” I pressed a kiss to her nose. “I won’t break you. All I ever want to do is make you smile.”