Chapter 4
Melody
W hat the hell was I thinking?
I knew it was going to be a miracle to walk on that stage and perform. And yet I overhyped myself.
I mentally kept hitting myself, muttering to myself on how stupid I had been to think that I could do it, that I could conquer my fear on that stage.
I hated the feeling of failing, again. But looking in that audience at the eyes that silently waited to judge me, made the flood of thoughts too much. My heart traveled to my ears, humming so loudly that it was deafening. My breathing became harder and the sweat dripping from my neck was unbearable.
My voice was so shaky that simply saying that I was sorry wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough for me to continue on. I just ran.
Not only did I feel like a failure, but I felt like a fool for being up there.
A few tears started to build up as I gathered my stuff and exited the building. I backed myself to the bricked wall outside the place, once I got out. I dropped my stuff, sliding down the wall, burying my face between my knees. The only other light was the dim light from the alley and the half moon that rose at night in the sky.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
For the longest time, stage fright had been my weakness, preventing me from rising through the ranks. I always stood in the background, watching all the stars rising in their own journey. To say I had stars in my eyes would’ve been an understatement. I wanted more, I wanted to see the world, and do nothing more than to spread my words.
I knew that the first step would be to start small and move from there. But I couldn’t even do that. The feeling that I was going to be stuck my entire life flashed in my mind. The words of my father telling me that the path I was on was a useless, childish dream that in the end I was just a disappointment echoed.
If he could see me at that moment, he’d taunt me and tell me he was right.
I wasn’t ready, and maybe I wasn’t ever going to be.
I sat there on the wall for a while before something startled me as the alley way, light started to dim. I didn’t know if I was in danger or if someone was truly coming to comfort me. Which was still a ridiculous thought.
A demanding voice jolted me from my position, “Look what we have here, boys. A pretty little, scared thing. What’s wrong sweetheart, those people scare you?” I opened my eyes, lifting my head to see a linen shirt wearing blonde man inches away from my face.
My eyes darted around me only to find that I was surrounded by a group of strange men. It didn’t take a genius to realize that I was in danger. If the shiver down my spine didn’t warn me, then what his friends did next seared the memory of their touch into my skin. His friends suddenly grabbed my arms, hoisting me up, almost floating me above the ground.
“Please. Let me go. I don’t have any money. There’s nothing I can give you,” I begged, trying to find the strength to loosen their grip on me. Their fingers dug into my skin like a bruising claim. The pain radiated into my bones. If I shouted for help, who would come to rescue me? No one here was going to miss me.
“But I think that there is something you can give me.” His eyes surveyed me like I was a thing, an object to have.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like feeling like I was anything else. My lips trembled. I tried to feel anything but helpless, let alone worthless.
The blonde chuckled, gripping my chin hard. I did the impulsive thing and spit in his face. Not my best self-defense, but I didn’t know what else to do. Fear took over like it was the only thing left in me. My eyes widened as the blonde man growled and his eyes turned cold, absolutely blank. He wanted to render me to be quiet and submissive, to be afraid of him.
He got off on the fear, and the pain. It encouraged him to continue, the thirst to break down everything I am. He could smell that I wasn’t the strongest, that maybe I would put up a fight. Maybe he wanted me to be grateful that someone was paying attention to me.
My head fell to the side after his hand crashed into my face. I let out a scream, but it made my head spin. My head lulled back to see him.
“I see you still have some fight in you.” His buddies came closer in, trapping me further down this darkness. “I’m sure we can get it out of you before we take each of these holes.”
I shook my head, questioning why I was the target. I never spoke with them, never looked in their direction. I didn’t know any of them and yet they picked me like a doe in an open field. I wanted to scream, but again who would hear me? Everyone else was too busy inside and there were no windows lending a view of the alley. And I couldn’t rely on the people walking on the street. Beale street was the busiest with every nightclub and bar opening their doors.
I tried to yank against their hold again. “Please, just let me go and I won’t tell anyone.”
“Who would listen to you?” the blonde asked. The hot tears poured out like a flowing river down my cheeks.
“Are these tears for us?” He groaned out like he was enjoying this. I couldn’t handle this anymore. I started to kick my legs in any direction, trying to get them all to back up or even let go of me.
As I started kicking, I was frantic enough that it spooked them. Their hold loosened on me as they were confused. They started to raise their voices and as soon as I got loose and dropped to the ground, my feet started to take off. I attempted to grab my backpack and my guitar case.
The goal was in sight, freedom was calling my name until someone grabbed my shoulder and dragged me back down. Another scream ripped from my throat. My head banged on the rough cement. I gripped my head trying to ease the throb radiating there. Suddenly a new kind of pain happened when a foot landed to my side, I hunched over, wrapping my arms around myself.
“I think it’s time to break a little mouse,” the same taunting voice echoed. His friends responded, agreeing with him.
I knew that this was it, everything would come down to this. Broken bones, a weakened body that couldn’t protect itself, and worst, a dream that was fading.
The guys landed a few kicks, breaking down what existing barrier I had left. I begged and whimpered for things to stop, for someone to help me. My world was darkened and I wasn’t going to find out if sunshine would ever warm my face.
If this was the end, at least Aria would be waiting for me at the gates, waiting for me to take her hand.
Wouldn’t that have been nice?
I thought my world was ending when suddenly a thunderous bang brought everything to a halt.