Chapter 30
Melody
S ing to him? He was kidding right? Fuck, was I kidding myself? What did I get myself into by agreeing with B.B that this would be a good idea? Hell, I expected Hound Dog to keep fighting me on this and turn into a caveman.
I mean there was still time. I could have made a quick exit. But the man whispered naughty words in that voice that made me shiver with pleasure and desire.
When my name was called, my world went quiet. I saw mouths moving, but there was only ringing in my ears. Ringing and my heart beating deep in my chest.
Hound’s hand traveled along my back, pressing to get me off the chair. Sadie stood at attention, waiting for my next move. I couldn’t hear what she said, but she handed my guitar and gave me a simple nod.
I couldn’t remember how I got close to the stage, but it felt like everything was shrinking, like I was back in wonderland, waiting to see what food or drink would make me feel normal.
Aria, if you’re watching over me, please darling girl, give me strength.
Aria would have been the one on stage, she wasn’t afraid of anything. I mean, I wasn’t afraid of a lot, but the stage was the seventh level of hell for me. Being in the spotlight for everyone to watch me and judge before I made a first note.
Hound and Sadie were the only ones to hear me, other than Aria, and I wondered if that would be enough, make me feel content. But it wasn’t enough. Or at least I thought so.
I found the cord to plug in the electric acoustic, hoping that if I started somewhere my nerves would settle. After the crackling of the feedback rang my ears, I searched in the crowd for friendly faces, hoping that everything could be overcome.
The bright lights warmed my face, my back sweated even more if that was even possible, my heart raced causing my hands to shake. All thoughts of failing overpowered the ideas of success, it felt like a train wreck. My fingers fumbled with the pick in my hand, and managed a few strums before the pick fell through my fingers. There were a few snickers.
It wasn’t completely silenced, but I could feel the watchful eyes over me.
I knew I was fucking it up when I saw the quickness of Hound rush to the stage side, waiting for my next move.
I wanted to bolt and forget everything. I made myself a fool, once again. I whispered into the mic an apology and ignored the consequences. I could feel the bubble of emotions in my throat, threatening to surface.
I crashed into Hound’s arms, my body still shaking like a leaf.
He walked me away from the stage, toward the back, through the darkened hallway.
I knew that I should have just stuck to songwriting and remaining in the background. That was what I was good at. And the disappointing factor, I had a special song that I had been working on that I had hoped would make Hound happy to hear. Something that would make all confusion about where we were in our somewhat twisted relationship.
But tears fell down my cheeks, a stream washing off the makeup that caked on my face. I felt weak, like a shadow of doubt clouding over me telling me that I was weak for Hound, for being a part of his world. Who would want to picture me with him now?
His arms tightened around me, holding me close to him. His warmth felt like home, a place I never wanted to leave.
“I’m so sorry,” I muttered into his shirt. But he didn’t hear me. I didn’t think he cared.
In past relationships, if I failed in their eyes, I’d hear “well, I told you it wasn’t a good idea” or “I could have told you it was going to happen”. Not Hound. Not my Hound Dog. He just held me like a weighted anxiety blanket.
Hound’s body straightened up in an instant. I pushed off of him, turning my head to see Otis shake his head. He wasn’t coming to check on me, us, something was happening. His face turned up when I caught his eye, his expression was full of apologies. His way without words of saying that the moment was over and Hound was going to have to let me go.
I turned back to see Hound, and one thing I would have to get used to, disappearing without a word or indication of what was happening.
He captured my cheeks in his hands. “Honey, I’m going to have Sadie take you back to the compound.”
The compound? We were just at the house last night. He had told me we were safe. At least, I thought we were safe.
“What’s happening? What should I know?” I pressed.
“That is a very good question that I don’t have the answer to right now.” He tucked a loose hair behind my ear.
His tenderness melted my heart but made it ache at the same time.
“Tell me you’ll come back to me?” I pleaded.
He only smiled, avoiding the original question. “You want me to come back to you?”
I rolled my eyes, blinking through the leftover tears that hadn’t fallen. I wiped them before telling him off. “No, I want you to never return so I can have the whole bed to myself.”
“I can quickly fuck that brattiness out of you.” he threatened.
“Save the good times for the bedroom, baby.” I huffed out.
He just leaned down and kissed me hard and quick. He rested his forehead on mine, “I’m coming back. And when I do, I expect you naked under those blankets, waiting for me. And then when I’ve fucked you nice and good, we’ll talk about tonight.”
I sniffed, clearing my sinuses. “You’ll come back to me in one piece?”
“When I have you to come home to, I’ll fight even harder.” He promised before pressing one more kiss on my cheek and leaving me alone in the darkened, quiet hallway.
I pressed my back against the wall and slid down, taking in the loneliness that I craved for a long time before. Now, I hated the feeling of being alone again.
You are a brave bitch, you are not afraid anymore.
Not anymore. Like Hound said, I had a reason to keep fighting. I wasn’t perfect and that was what this man appreciated about me, I wasn’t weak, I just needed time.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, Sadie’s soft smile brightened my world. She got down on my level. “You have one caveman boyfriend, babes.”
Caveman. Well, that was one way of describing him.
I sniffed. “I know. And yet, I love that about him.”
She sat down next to me, bumping my shoulders. “Love, huh? Said that a little too easily.”
And yet it felt natural, normal even. Love wasn’t linear, we all love differently and our timelines of when we start feeling it is never the same. Like a snowflake.
“And I’m okay with that.” I rested my chin on my knees, turning to peek at her. I laughed at her shocked expression, “What?”
She only smiled, then said, “Just admiring this outlook on you.”
Me too.
The rest of the night I had to wait and see if Hound would keep his promise to me. After Sadie dropped me off and checked out the compound, she left and told me to message her when things settled down.
The one thing about Sadie was that she did not give me pity attention, her friendship had been one of the truest in my life.
I hated waiting around, repeatedly checking my phone to see if anything came through. I was too anxious to think about anything else. I paced the bar, lounge area, there were a couple of girls that B.B had introduced me to previously, telling me that these were the good ones. Ginger and Posey.
They were truly sweet. They kept me company, telling me that everything would be okay, that the guys would return and in the end peace would be back.
Night had turned pitch black, and I couldn’t sleep when he wasn’t there. I circled his room countless times, and when I was distracted, I pried into every crevice of the place.
I mean tit for tat, he snooped in all of my things, it was only right.
He didn’t keep much here other than phone charging cords, change of clothes, odds and ends, some condoms, and completely random items. It barely looked like it was lived in. I started to think that maybe he once did, but then I smiled thinking that he had a reason now. I went to his closet, anticipating that there wouldn’t be anything in there. But when I turned on the light, there were a few shirts, but what caught my attention was a black jacket that smelled like new leather.
My fingers traced the fabric taking in the feel of it. I pulled it out and my eyes grew twice their size as I noticed the patch on the back.
“Property of Hound Dog”